I sat in my chair, my head down and hands in my lap as Jens punished himself on the ground.
Jamie patted my back twice, but did not try to prod back into my brain. Neither of us wanted to be in my head in that moment.
Jens finally sat up and moved in front of me, seating himself at my feet and leaning back against my knees. Without a word between us, he picked up my hand and placed a kiss on it.
I rested my palm in his thick hair and tickled his scalp without really making myself think too hard about the lost powder, my little secret. I didn’t think about Uncle Rick. I didn’t think about Pesta. In fact, I didn’t think about Undraland at all.
My mind was a snowstorm, a blur of white noise and cold. My parents were being burned just down the hallway. The nothing I felt was the only safe thing in my life, so I clung to it as I stroked my boyfriend’s hair, silent tears sliding down his cheeks.
We’d won, but we’d lost. Oh, how lost we were.
Foss returned however long later, palm extended. “Give me your brother.”
“What?” I scrunched my nose up at him.
“His ashes. I’ll put them together with his parents. It’s a better place to rest than alone in there.”
My heart caught in my throat as Jens took the necklace from around my neck. “I’ll watch him,” he promised, and then went with Foss back into the behind the scenes room where they no doubt had funnels and whatnot for such things.
They came back with my blue-wrapped cylinder, and as I examined the change in the ashes, I noticed remnants of the captivating lavender glitter woven through the death, entrancing me with its beautiful swirl. My family was a beautiful thing. We were odd, had strange senses of humor and never had a home to return to, but we had each other. Finally, we were together again. I didn’t even mind that Charles Mace was in there. It was almost like we had a friend to share our jokes with. My fingers closed around the small tube as I swallowed. “Thank you.”
Foss clapped Jens on the back, and Jamie stood to hug his best friend. “Brother, you did all you could.”
And then Jens broke. So shocking was the sight of my boyfriend crying audibly, I snapped out of my seclusion for a moment as my heart yanked me toward the oddity.
“I didn’t know! Linus was dead and I was devastated! One night I came back to Tomten. One night! And when I got back, they were dead! I didn’t know Pesta was close! I didn’t know they’d gone to her! I should’ve, but I didn’t.”
Jamie clutched Jens tighter, kissing his cheek. “Pesta waited until you weren’t there, brother. She knew there was no way she was getting at them if you were around. There’s no place safer than with you!”
“I shouldn’t have taken that day off! I shouldn’t have left.”
Jamie’s burly arms kept Jens in his cocoon of safety. He began to sway slightly, rocking Jens through his grief. “They died because of Pesta, not you. They got to see every day of their son’s life because of you.”
Jens whispered, “What about their daughter’s?”
Jamie hugged the mess in his arms with so much love, I had no doubt Britta would be cherished her entire life long. Jamie was meant to love and be loved. He was meant for a bucketful of children and like, seven dogs. He whispered to his best friend, “Jens, Lucy’s still alive. Look at her. There’s still a whole lifetime of duty for you, brother. No Tom better for a job like her.”
Part of me registered that he called me a job, but I overlooked it for the moment. Jens glanced over at me, embarrassed at his tears and ashamed at his seeming failure. “Lucy, I’m so sorry!” he whispered, wiping the condensation off his cheeks.
“Stop it,” I crooned, taking a clumsy step closer. “Pesta’s the one who killed my family, not you.” I rubbed Jamie’s back and stood straighter. “And Alrik and I killed Pesta, so it’s done. You don’t have to worry so much anymore.”
Though they suspected as much, the intakes of breath all around me told me they had all needed that kill confirmed. Questions tumbled from everyone, but I held up my hands. “Let’s get to a hotel, and I’ll tell you everything. I can’t do this here. I don’t want to be here anymore. It stinks like formaldehyde and dust.” I turned to Foss and Elsa. “Did you guys make sure he burned all the bones?”
Elsa bowed her head, a complete turnaround in how she normally was around me. “Yes, Domslut.”
Foss held up his hand in solemn vow. “Every single one.”
“Then let’s go. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.”
36
Beautiful Blood
We split off from the Huldras, Elsa taking her team home after Liv delivered a provocative kiss to an indifferent Foss. Women.
Jamie used Britta as a crutch and kept his free arm around Jens as they led the way to the SUV the Huldras let us keep. Foss walked by my side, his hand on the small of my back and his arm stabilizing my janky gait as we walked through the long building. He watched the shadows around corners for false moves. I wondered when we would all stop feeling the constant press of danger.
When the icy air hit us, Jens recalled my lack of a coat. “Wait,” he insisted, unzipping his to wrap around me.
“I’m okay, really. The cold doesn’t bother me. Let’s just get to the car.”
Jens paid me no mind, but covered my shoulders in his winter jacket anyway. I kinda loved that he knew when to ignore me and when to listen. I kinda loved everything about him.
When we got to the car, Jens sat in the driver’s seat, taking his job of protecting me too literally. I was a far better snow driver than he was even with one foot, but whatever. I let the poor guy have a win. He looked so worn out from the catharsis, I reckoned he needed a victory, however small.
He drove us to the nearest hotel that was not a motel and checked us in with no fear of Pesta coming for us. We stalked up to the adjoining rooms, and to their credit, the barrage of questions did not come until after the door closed behind us and we’d shed our coats and shoes.
I held up my hands as I sat at the head of the king-sized bed, hefting my bum leg up onto the bedspread. “Pesta’s dead.” I patted the spot next to me, and Jens slid to my side, resting his back on the headboard as his hand slid into mine. The comforter was white down and soft as a cloud. The blue walls emanated a calm vibe I hoped would seep into my pores. The hotel was a fair bit nicer than the ones I’d stayed in with my family, but I hardly had the heart to enjoy it.
Britta and Jamie sat at the foot of the bed, facing us, and Foss brought the chair to the side of the bed and propped his feet up on the mattress. “Alright. Out with the whole story now. We’ve been patient enough.”
“Uncle Rick and I killed Pesta.” All around gasps, followed by more questions, and finally the whole account spilled out of me. Uncle Rick pulling me through. Our little talk. Blah, blah, blah.
Jamie was overwhelmed, so I used the opportunity to tuck the bit about Pesta giving me her arv away in a box in the corner of my brain so I didn’t have to touch it. It didn’t matter. Pesta wasn’t my mom, no matter what she’d done to my forehead. I didn’t want the group freaking out about it, and I certainly didn’t want it known that Pesta wasn’t actually the last siren anymore. It was a good thing the arv didn’t leave a lasting mark on my forehead, so the group would never have to know.
Now I was part siren, with Pesta’s DNA mixing in with all the other mess swirling around inside me. I felt heavier, though there were so many excuses I could blame that weight in my soul on. I wondered if my blood looked like Pesta’s now, and knew I would do everything I could to avoid finding out. Pesta was part of me. I wanted no part of any of it, so I pushed it to the place where all the bad things got buried and vowed never to think on it again. I would hide it from myself, which was the only way to hide it from Jamie.
Britta burst into tears when I recounted my monster mom trying to kill me and Alrik, but I was surprisingly calm. I sounded like a school teacher explaining emotionless arithmetic. I left out the part about Pesta touchin
g my forehead. Something about that was still unsettling to me, but I couldn’t put into words why. “And then I came out and rejoined all of you.” There were a few beats of silence, so I took my opportunity. “I’m hopping in the shower while you all digest that.” I pointed to my bag. “Britt, could you do me a solid and grab me some clean pajamas? I’m covered in siren blood, and I feel gross.”
Jens hung his head, my words somehow cutting him without my knowledge.
“We’re safe, guys. No one’s chasing us. We can start lives here and not worry about Weres or Pesta or Be. It’s done.” It was meant to be reassuring, but I could hear the absence of a win in my voice.
Instead of handing me my clothes, Britta set them in the bathroom for me. She kissed my cheek, looking like she had a mouthful to say to me, but kept the cavalcade inside. She could see I was a mess.
I tried not to put much weight on my foot as I stepped into the shower.
I stood in the hot water for I’m not sure how long. It was so long that eventually I sat down to finger the new necklace that would go through life with me. The vial was heavier than my Linus heart, but then again, life carried with it more weight than it had before. I didn’t think that was possible.
The way my lungs didn’t totally inflate told me I was on the brink of buckling.
Jamie felt my distress and whispered in my mind, Rest, Lucy. You’ve had a long day and a long life. Talk to Jens. No matter what, we’re all here. We’ll heal from this together.
I said nothing to him in response, but nodded as his words peppered warmth into me in time with the shower. I pulled my knees to my chest and laid my head atop them, finally calming enough to close my eyes and take a deep breath.
That’s better. Good job, sweetheart. Now wash up and go to bed. Call me if you need help.
I unwrapped the sliver of French-milled soap and started at my toes, washing the warmed skin inch by inch all the way up my body until I reached my glittery arms.
The stars blinked at me, dot and dime-sized pricks of silver and iridescent glitter and pure light stuck to my skin, immoveable in their stubbornness, clinging to my forearms and hands with zeal. “Britta?” I called loud enough to carry to the bed area.
Jens’s voice answered me just outside the bathroom. “They all turned in for the night. I reckoned you could use a little space and a lot of sleep.”
“You reckon, eh?” I teased, smiling slightly at the lingo as I stood back up under the hot flow. It felt strange and somehow right to smile again, no matter how small the motion was.
“You need something?”
“I dunno. Maybe a better soap? Some rubbing alcohol or something? Pesta’s blood won’t come off my hands.”
“I’m coming in,” he warned me, opening the door and sliding inside the cocoon of warm steam I’d built in my too-long shower. “Holy sauna, Batman. How can you breathe in this?”
“I’m part bat,” I answered, holding the curtain around my body and peeking out the side. “You got something to get this off? Maybe a loofa?”
Jens rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Let me check my bag for a loofa. Did you think I was your girlfriend?”
I batted my eyes at him. “You’ve got the eyelashes for it.”
“That better have been a compliment,” he grumbled. Then he sighed and leaned back against the door. He was showered, most likely borrowing Jamie’s bathroom, and dressed in blue flannel pajamas and a black t-shirt that hugged his muscular frame like it was meant to.
“You’re doing that shirt a giant favor,” I confessed. Though it was an effort, I fought to reclaim a little of our levity.
He looked down as if only just realizing which clothes he was wearing. “Really? How about now?” He flexed for my ogling pleasure.
“I thought you said it was already too hot in here.”
He shook his head, smiling at our flirty banter. “Man, I like you. Finish up and come on out. Leave your hands alone. We have to talk.”
“You didn’t have to come in here to tell me that.”
“Sure, but now that I’m in here, I get to kiss you.” He moved toward me and placed a chaste kiss to my lips, coaxing yet more heat into my body. “Come on out, babe.” He gave me that wisp of a smirk I adored and left.
I washed my hair and finished up, my hands and arms still sparkling as I dried myself. The siren blood didn’t bleed onto the towel or my clean clothes as I got dressed. It was like thick dried paint that didn’t want to come off – almost like a second skin.
When I emerged, Jens was flipping through channels in bed in those pajamas that were somehow both cozy and sexy. “I missed bad TV the most,” he admitted, shifting on the mattress. I could tell his back was bothering him, but he didn’t want to address it. “Come watch this one with me. I think it’s a reality show that’s auctioning off plastic surgery to the ugliest baby.” He pulled down the covers next to him and lured me to his side.
I donned a smile as we lay down next to each other, our heads and shoulders propped up on too many pillows so we could see the TV. His arm was behind me, his hand massaging my scalp. My leg draped atop his, our bare toes connecting in ways our words weren’t ready to.
“I can tell we’re watching TV because you’re afraid to tell me something,” I commented as nonchalantly as I could. “Out with it, Jack.”
“I love your body.”
My eyebrows raised. “Well, I didn’t expect you to say that. Um, back atcha? Why would you be afraid to tell me that?”
He turned the volume down on the flat screen, picked up my sparkly fingers and kissed them. In the lamplight, they sparkled even more brightly, illuminating the night for us as real stars would. “Every part of you, I’m over the moon for.” He grimaced. “Well, truthfully, I’m not crazy about Foss’s emblem on your breasts, but other than that, your body is exactly perfect. A ten in a world of fives.”
“Aw, that’s sweet. You too, baby. Thanks for laying it on thick. My elbows are amazing.”
“So I don’t want you to freak out.” He continued to kiss my fingers, one at a time. The stars actually glowed and lit his face when he got close, flickering celestial patterns dancing on his golden tattoo. “What do you know about siren blood?”
I snuggled into his nook, stroking his calf with my foot. “Just that it’s crazy beautiful.”
“Two good words for it.” He tangled his fingers through mine and held up my arm for us to both examine. “Killing a siren is hard to do. When they were roaming Undra, they were pretty powerful. Feared and revered. Their blood is sort of a marker. It was supposed to be a bad one. You know, you see someone covered in stars, you run the other way because that person’s crazy dangerous. But when the sirens were offed in the massive witch hunt, the marker became a good thing. Like a battle scar that showed the world you were unstoppable. That you’d gone up against a siren and won. You met the chief in Fossegrim, right?”
“Yeah. He had a few sparkles on his hands,” I recalled.
“How do you think he got to be one of the four powers? He killed a siren and wears her blood. Everyone who sees him automatically fears him. They call him Dom, which means doom or judgment.” He turned my arm this way and that, the stars catching the light off the TV and reflecting glitter on the walls like bits of a disco ball. “You’re going to carry these battle scars as long as you live. Siren blood becomes part of you. It’s why Elsa was calling you Domslut. That’s the female version.”
I’m not sure how long I went without breathing, but I think I maxed out the limit on what was acceptable. “I… it won’t come off? Wait, what? Are you serious?” I sat up and scratched at my skin over and over like a crazy person, trying to remove at least the top layer of dermis to see what could be salvaged beneath. “Get it off me! Get it off!”
Jamie called in my brain, Lucy, is that you doing this? Stop!
I shut my mental door on Jamie when I began to hyperventilate. I wanted to tear off my skin, but knew my siren blood would be seen, and I couldn’t have
that. I had no options, no way out.
I screamed. “She got me! Pesta’s on me!” My mind whirled as visions of grabbing Jens’s knife to cut the skin off my arms taunted me.
“Lucy, stop!” Jens shouted. His hands went up to calm me down.
I was frantic, and perhaps not rational. “Don’t touch me! Will it get on you?”
“No. It dried probably a few seconds after it touched you the first time.”
Jamie burst through the door, limped quickly toward us and tackled me backward on the bed, knocking the wind out of me (and himself). “It’s okay!” he shouted. “It’s just a scar, nothing more. She didn’t win. She didn’t get your right arm. She didn’t take your soul.”
I twisted under him and clawed at my arms, fruitlessly trying to remove Pesta from my life. “Get it off!” I screamed.
“Lucy, stop!” Jens begged. He separated my arms from each other, his mournful face pleading with me to remain lucid. “It goes down deep, probably to the bone. Baby, it could be so much worse. Siren blood is beautiful.”
“She got my arms! She didn’t take my right arm, she put her stamp on both!” I shouted, moisture pricking my eyes. “I killed her to leave her behind, not carry her and this whole stupid battle with me for the rest of my life!”
“Breathe, syster. Breathe,” Jamie commanded me, mimicking deep breaths until I acquiesced. Calm down. I’m here. The battle’s over.
Jamie was crushing me on the bed, staring me down with… not pity. No, it was camaraderie. I was his equal. Somehow through our long and tangled journey, I was a warrior, not an inconvenient human to drag along as dead weight. It wasn’t just because I fought alongside all of them. It was the marks, too. I bore the marks of battle now. My body was peppered with bruises, scars and now stars.
The Other Side: A Fantasy Adventure (Undraland Book 5) Page 18
