by David Moody
‘What? I thought you said he died before they came?’
‘He did but... but what you don’t know about me is I had a wife and kid. She left me and took my boy. I’m not allowed to see them anymore. I don’t even know where they live - if they’re even still alive. Before things went to hell, Dad told me not to let what happened with my partner and kid stop me from finding someone else to be happy with. You know, someone new. He said there is someone out there for all of us, it was just that Hazel clearly wasn’t the one for me. Keep looking, he said. He said that if I don’t give up, I’ll find her and then, with her, I’d have the happiness I desperately wanted.’ Andria noticed Bob’s eyes well up as he recalled the conversation with his dad. ‘The last thing he said to me was, don’t give up.’ Andria didn’t say anything, she just hoped that he would suddenly turn to her and tell her she could go. Then, as she walked away from the house, she hoped she’d hear the sound of a single gunshot as he repainted the living room wall with his sick and twisted brains. ‘The very last thing he said to me. Dad didn’t want me to give up, so I’m not going to. I mean, I know the world has changed and so has the game but does that really mean we can’t find happiness?’
‘There’s no happiness out there.’
‘There is. We just need to look for it.’
‘There’s nothing. A few of us and hundreds and thousands of them.’
‘That’s what I was doing when we met out near your caravan...’
Andria looked at him, unsure of what he was getting at.
‘What do you mean?’
‘I was looking for my happiness.’
REVELATION
Andria didn’t need Bob to say it. She knew what he was referring to. He was looking for his happiness. He was looking for what his dad had promised him on his death bed. He was looking for that someone who was out there, someone willing to love him as he could love her. And, in that single moment, Andria knew she wouldn’t be leaving the house. At least, not with his blessing.
‘I found you just as you were about to kill yourself,’ Bob said. ‘You were going to take your life and I found you and stepped in before you could. That was fate. This... us... it was meant to be.’
‘You’re wrong.’
‘No, I’m not. It’s you and me. It’s us versus them now. The world might have gone to shit, but it’s you and me now. We can still be happy.’
‘You’re insane,’ Andria said, and she took a step back, only stopping when her back hit the wall. ‘There is no us. We are not a couple.’
‘Not yet, no, but in time we could be.’
‘You need to understand this, I’m not staying here. I have family waiting for me. My mum. My brother. I’m leaving this place and I’m going to find them.’
‘You said you wanted to kill yourself...’
‘I was going to. That’s what I wanted to do... And then I remembered my mum and my brother and that they might still be out there somewhere. I need to find them...’
‘You don’t need to put yourself in danger by going to look for them. I told you, they’re dead. Everyone is dead. It’s just you and me and them.’
‘You don’t know that.’
‘Out there when I’ve been looking for food, not once have I seen anyone else. You were the only person I found...’
‘When it all started, there was a broadcast telling people where to go. A safe zone apparently. Rob and I didn’t want to go. We were worried that, if we did, we’d be separated from the kids even if they had managed to get to us. But things are different now. I need to go to the safe zone and see if my...’
Bob cut her off again and said, ‘I’ve told you, they’re dead. Everyone is dead. The safe zone was overrun and...’
‘You don’t know that! You’ll just say anything to get me to stay.’
‘I can’t let you go out there knowing what is waiting for you.’
‘I’m not staying here.’
‘If you go out there, you will die. Just like everyone else. You’ll become one of them and that will be it. Do you really want to end up like that?’ He didn’t wait for her to answer before continuing, ‘You stay here with me and you’ll be protected and...’
‘I have to go and find...’
‘If there is anyone out there - which there isn’t - they’ll find us. They’ll find us and they’ll take us to wherever they’re taking survivors but, I’m telling you—’
‘I’m not staying here.’
‘Give it a week. The last time I went out there, the place was swarming...’
‘Of course it was,’ Andria interrupted him.
‘Please don’t interrupt me. I really don’t like being interrupted.’
‘I’m not staying here. You have to hear me. I’m not staying...’
‘YES YOU ARE!’ Bob suddenly shouted, his face instantly flushing red and the veins on the side of his temple sticking out. Andria stopped talking, worried that if she carried on, he’d lash out in a further demonstration of his increasing anger. He took a couple of deep breaths as he visibly tried to calm himself down. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout.’
‘No, I’m sorry,’ Andria said, hoping to help calm his temper. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you. I just miss my family, that’s all.’
‘I’m sorry they’re dead.’ He paused momentarily to compose himself before continuing. ‘Let me show you the rest of the house.’ He moved away from the living room, then stopped and turned back to face her. ‘It will be dark in a couple of hours. Just stay here the night and tomorrow, if you still want to leave, I’ll walk you to wherever you want to be taken. That’s my offer...’
‘I don’t need you to walk me anywhere.’
‘It’s not up for debate. I’m not leaving you out there by yourself. I brought you here, and for that I am sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing. I’ll take you where you need to be and then I’ll leave you alone. Unless...’ Andria waited with trepidation for him to finish his sentence. ‘Unless they’re all dead and there is no one out there. Then maybe you’ll want to come back here with me?’
‘I just need to see...’
‘And I’ll take you there, I promise. But only if you still want to leave in the morning. If you do, we’ll leave really early so we have a full day of travel. Okay?’
Andria nodded.
‘That’s a fair compromise, yes?’
She nodded again, not willing to upset him further.
‘Thank you.’ He smiled and then said, ‘You know, I’m not the monster you perceive me to be.’
Andria lied, ‘I don’t think of you as a monster. I just want to find my mum and brother.’
‘You look at me like I am a monster.’
‘I just don’t feel settled. You took me from my home...’
Bob looked at the floor, embarrassed. He shuffled his feet. ‘I didn’t know what else to do. They were on my tail and I knew I wouldn’t have had time to explain before we were surrounded. I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing.’
Andria didn’t say anything although she wanted to scream at him, how is knocking someone out and kidnapping them doing the right thing?!
‘Like I said,’ Bob continued, ‘if you want to leave tomorrow morning, then that’s not a problem. We’ll walk out the front door together.’
Andria smiled nervously. Part of her wondered whether it was a trick, but she hoped it wasn’t. She wanted to believe him. ‘Okay,’ she said.
SHATTERED DREAMS
This is the way it had happened, not that Andria wanted to relive it again. She had been watering her tomato plants. The sun had been shining high. The sky was blue. It was the perfect day to be outside, enjoying herself. She knew that Rob was about to step out of the caravan and she knew what he was going to say. She knew it all word for word.
The news is going mental.
Rob stepped out of the caravan. He said, ‘The news is going mental.’
What do you mean?
‘What do you mean?’ th
e Dream-Andria asked.
She remembered thinking at the team that he meant there had been another terrorist attack. Every other month someone was shooting up a group of tourists or school kids, blaming some religious cause or another. And if they weren’t shooting they were blowing shit up. That was the world we live in now. She was right though. It was some kind of terrorist attack, just not like anything they had seen before.
People going crazy in towns.
‘People going crazy in towns.’
‘Towns? Or town?’
‘Our fucking town, the next town, the town further than that... all over the shop. People going fucking insane, biting other people.’
‘What?’
‘They’ve been telling people to stay in,’ he continued. ‘If you have to go out, they’re saying to avoid built-up areas.’
‘Well... why? What’s happening?’
‘They have no idea - people just tearing the world up for seemingly no reason. They’re thinking it might be a gas attack across multiple towns but truth is, no one really knows.’
‘So what are we supposed to do?’
This was where the car came screeching around the corner, kicking up dirt and dust behind as it did so. This was where Andria and Rob would turn to see what the commotion was. Their children. Somehow together despite not living together, or even that close to one another. She knew how the story ended but she never knew how it had started. How had they come to be travelling together? What had happened? Or rather, what had happened to cause...
The car screeched to a halt and Oli jumped out with an expression of panic on his face. He ran over to Rob and Andria. They had been just standing there, confused as to what the hell was going on.
‘She’s been bitten!’ he yelled.
‘What?’ Rob had been the first to respond when it happened and he was, unsurprisingly, the first to respond in the dream too. He hurried over to see what was happening in the car. Who had been bitten? Bitten by what? Andria followed even though she didn’t want to. She wanted to wake up. She wanted to dream about something else and yet... She looked into the back of the car. Becky was lying across Jack. Her arm had been bitten with a chunk of flesh hanging off. Her skin was sweaty. Pale. Her eyes rolled around in the back of her head.
‘What the hell happened?’ Rob asked. ‘What the fuck did this to her?’ Without waiting for an answer he leaned in to help pull Becky from the car. Andria wanted to stop him. She wanted to get involved but she was rooted to the spot, just as she had been when it had first happened. She knew that Rob was about to get bitten and Jack was about to get scratched too as Becky was about to go into a full on frenzy; clawing and biting in all directions.
Andria hadn’t closed her eyes when this had really happened and yet, somehow, she managed to do it now. She scrunched her eyes up so tight that not even the faintest glimmer of light shone through. This was new. Changing the course of the dream. This is new.
‘Wake up,’ she said out loud - an instruction usually uttered deep in her subconscious where it went unheard.
‘Honey, help us.’ Rob reached into the car.
Wake up...
Wake up...
Wake up...
‘WAKE UP!’
Andria sat bolt upright on the single bed with sweat dripping from her brow. She was sitting – alone - in the bedroom he had set up for her. Light was shining in through the narrow, barred window. Morning had come.
‘Bad dream?’
Andria jumped at the sound of his voice. Bob was standing in the open doorway. He had come to wake her up, worried that - if he hadn’t - she would have missed breakfast. The most important meal of the day. Andria didn’t say anything.
‘I’ve made us some breakfast,’ he said. Bob didn’t wait for her to respond. He turned away and walked back through the house to the dining room where two bowls of cereal (soaking in water) were waiting. He knew she would follow when she was ready.
LIAR
By the time Andria reached the dining room, Bob was nearly finished with his own breakfast.
‘Was wondering whether you’d fallen asleep again,’ he said.
‘I just needed a bit of time to myself.’
‘Bad dream.’
‘Could say that.’
‘May I ask what happened?’
‘You said yesterday that if I still wanted to go, you’d let me leave. Well, I still want to go.’
Bob showed no emotion as he said, ‘Why don’t you sit down and have breakfast first. We need to have our strength if we’re to be travelling for the full day, otherwise we won’t get very far at all.’ She didn’t move. ‘Come on, it’s important. We have plenty of time.’
Andria hesitated a moment. Bob watched. He could see her working things out. Keep Bob sweet, get freed. She sat down opposite him. Another hesitation and then, finally, she started eating her breakfast. Bob smiled. He was in control.
‘What was the dream about?’
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘You know, people say that dreams often work in reverse. So, if something bad happens in the dream, something good is due to happen in reality.’
‘Who said that?’
Bob shrugged. ‘People.’
‘Then they’re wrong. Something bad already happened. The dream was about that.’
‘I often dream about my father. You know, that final moment. Those last words...’
Andria knew what he was doing. Or what he was about to do. A final, last ditch attempt to convince her to stay with him.
‘We’re leaving just as soon as I finish this,’ she said so that there were no crossed signals. He answered with nothing but a smile as silence set in between them once more.
‘So what was the dream about?’ he said, disturbing the quiet and pushing her for an answer.
‘If you must know, I dreamt about my family.’
‘Surely that would be a nice dream?’
‘My husband and kids,’ she explained. ‘I dreamed about what happened to them. I keep seeing it in my dreams. The whole day, everything that happened and usually - no matter how much I want to - I can’t wake up until the story is complete. I relive it at least once a week. At least.’
‘Maybe it would help to talk about it?’
‘I told you, I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘But if you did... it might help. Might get it off your mind to talk it through with someone else.’ Bob sat back. ‘I’m not going to force you but, if you do want to talk about it, I’m here for you. No judgement.’ He continued, ‘I shared about my dad and you listened so it’s only fair...’
‘It was the day when the announcements first came on the television, before the channels went dead. Rob came out of the caravan where we lived to tell me the news. He was in the middle of telling me how everything was kicking off when my children arrived.’ She paused a moment as she went through the events in her head. ‘I don't even know how they came to be together, but there they were. My eldest had driven them in. The way he was driving, it beggars belief they didn’t have an accident before they even got to us... but there they were.’ Her eyes started to well up. ‘My daughter had been bitten. We never did find out by who. When Rob went to help get her out of the car she just flew into a frenzied rage. She bit him and scratched Jack, my youngest.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Of course we didn’t know what it meant at the time. Oli explained that when people were bitten, they changed. Well, we know that’s the case now. Back then though, we didn’t understand what he was talking about. We took her into the caravan and put her to bed, trying to keep her cool by putting a wet flannel on her forehead. She was in so much pain, writhing around and screaming out. Jack mentioned the safe houses they had been talking about on the news but we were worried Becky’s condition would worsen if we tried to move her. That wasn’t the only reason we stayed put though. I can’t remember who brought it up first but someone said that if we took Becky there she’d
be taken away and put into some kind of quarantine.’ A tear rolled down Andria’s cheek. She wiped it away with the back of her hand. ‘We didn’t want that. We wanted to stay together.’ Another tear wiped away. ‘That night, she turned. Oli was watching over her while the rest of us were asleep. She bit him. He ended up hitting her...’ She took a couple of deep breaths, clearly struggling to compose herself and stop herself from bursting into uncontrollable floods of tears. ‘His fist went straight through her head as though her skull was plasterboard.’ Bob was staring at Andria with his mouth agape. Was this true or was she playing for sympathy? ‘We were trying to calm him down, Jack and I. Rob was stuck in bed with aching limbs and a fever. Oli kept screaming that the bitch had killed him. We knew then that it was only a matter of time before Rob turned too. We spoke to him, Jack and I, and he told us to kill him before he hurt any of us. I couldn’t do it. He screamed that we had to. In the end Jack did it. Oli took his own life. By then we thought that was it. Jack helped me bury them. Promised me that he wouldn’t leave me and that we’d stick together until help came... and that was when he got sick. Where Becky had scratched him... The wounds were oozing... He was infected too. I’d lost my family.’ She wiped more tears from her pained face. ‘That’s what I keep reliving.’ She looked at Bob for a response but he had nothing. He was just sitting opposite her, looking sorry for her. A monster with empathy at least. ‘You said we could leave,’ she continued. ‘I want to go now. I have to try and find my mum and my brother. I can’t not try...’
Bob shook his head. ‘I’m sorry... I can’t let you leave.’
‘What?’ She felt her face redden as her anger started to rise. As she opened her mouth to start screaming about the deal they’d had, Bob leaned forward and hit her hard on the side of her head. Her head snapped to the left with the force of the blow and - just like that - she was out cold.
I LOVE YOU, MUM
Jack was digging in the earth next to two other spaces where the dirt had been disturbed. Andria watched on with tears streaming down her face. Sweat dripped from Jack’s, both from exhaustion and the fever that gripped his body.
