“I love waking up next to you too.”
He pulled me close and I rested my head on his chest. I was warm, safe, cared for. It felt good, so why did tears fill my eyes? I quickly wiped at them, hoping Ace didn’t see.
“Are you crying?”
“Sorry, just feeling a bit emotional.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“You told me I shouldn’t hold in my emotions.”
Me and my big mouth. “I’m not. I’m crying.”
He tipped my chin up.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
The soft caring in his voice was my undoing, and I sobbed against his bare chest. He held me close, his warm breath in my hair, his hand gently stroking my back. I finally got myself together and went to clean up. When I got back into the bedroom, Ace had his jeans on. He took me in his arms.
“Talk to me, baby.”
I glanced down at my naked body. I felt more vulnerable without my clothes. “Let me…I can’t…not like this.”
He nodded, and I went in search of my clothes. Once I was dressed, I sat on his soft brown-and-tan couch. He sat beside me, turned so one knee was on the couch and he faced me from the side.
I swallowed hard three times, took four deep breaths, and ran my palms up and down my thighs a few times. Finally I decided I had to just dive in. “My mom always had a problem with depression, and after Daddy died she became severely depressed. She spent time in the hospital, and I stayed with one or the other of my aunts until she came home. She tried different drugs, but nothing worked. A lot of the medications had awful side effects too. It was hard watching her go through that.” I wiped at my face, and Ace gently massaged my shoulder.
“Both my aunts tried to get her to live with them, but she wouldn’t leave the house where she and Daddy had lived. So it was just the two of us living in a tiny house in Jacksonville. Thankfully Daddy left us with enough to pay off the house and life was okay for a while. Mom stayed in bed most of the time, and I had to cook and clean. I had to go to therapy myself to keep from getting depressed from spending so much time with such a depressed person. By the time I was seventeen, the money was gone and I had to work so we could survive. It was hard, but I made it through high school and then college. I got a job working for a small local newspaper. It didn’t pay a lot, but they were flexible with my hours. I hated it from day one. I knew I wanted to write fiction, but I was afraid to try.
“Terri was published by then and she encouraged me. She gave me a lot of advice and told me where I could learn more. She lent me books, paid for online classes. She was great. Eventually I wrote a novel manuscript in my spare time, then another. I was terrified to submit them anywhere, but Terri wouldn’t shut up until I did.”
“She was right.”
I nodded. “It took a while, a lot of rejections, and another manuscript, but I got an agent and eight months later I signed a contract for a three-book deal.”
“I’m so proud of you for hanging in there and reaching your goal.” He squeezed my hand. “A lot of people give up before they reach their dreams.”
I shrugged. “It was something to hang on to. Something to take my mind off the sadness I lived with day after day.”
“But your mom’s better now, right?”
His words pulled me back to the present—and the problem. “Yes, she’s much better. She tried a new antidepressant, and that, along with her other meds and therapy, finally got her on solid ground.”
“That’s great.”
“I think the whole family held our breath for a long time. When a year went by and she was still doing well, the sisters decided to go on a world tour to celebrate.”
Understanding brightened his face. “Coming to Ugly Creek was a new start for you.”
I smiled, and touched my fingers to his face. “It was really nice of Aunt Ruth to suggest that Terri and I stay in her house for the year she’s away.”
“I, um, have a question.”
“Okay.” Trepidation pulled at my stomach
“I understand why you came up here. I’m sure you needed to get away and get a taste of a different kind of life.”
“Very astute.”
“It’s none of my business, and probably just plain nosy, but I’m curious. What brought Terri to Ugly Creek?”
Relief soared inside me. “She lives with her mom, she came up here so she wouldn’t be alone.”
“She lives with her mother?”
I shrugged. “Her mom lives in the country, so she has plenty of room to…” I caught myself and rethought my words. “So Trixie has lots of room to run and play.”
He grinned. “So she’s really attached to that dog, huh?”
I snorted in spite of myself. “You have no idea.”
“Hey.” He took my hands in his. “Let’s go do something fun.”
“I like that idea. Where should we go?”
“Hmm, maybe for ice cream.”
“For breakfast?”
He shrugged. “More like early lunch.”
“Oh why not?” I hugged him. “I need to go home and change first.”
“I guess we could wait that long.”
I smacked his arm, and we were both laughing when his cell phone chirped.
“Time to lose that damn thing again.” He looked at it and groaned. “Hello, Mr. Costa.”
He listened for a minute, then shot me an apologetic look.
“I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He clicked off his phone and sighed. “Vehicle ran off the road down on Mayfield, and Mr. Costa wants me to get some shots.”
Worry vibrated through me. “Oh my goodness. How bad was the accident?”
His grin had an evil twist to it. “Minor, but it involved the mayor’s car.”
“You’re kidding. It’s news because it’s the mayor’s car?”
He shrugged. “Nothing ever happens around here.”
“Except for break-ins and dognapping.”
He let out a sigh as he pulled me into his arms. “Would you believe that’s the first time since I moved here that anything happened other than minor incidents?”
“So it’s me.”
He leaned away and studied my face for a moment.
“You aren’t serious, right?”
“Not really.” I managed a smidgen of a smile. “It’s just strange this stuff has happened since I’ve been here.”
“If you’re looking for a reason to go back to Jacksonville, let me know. I have a few ideas about how to convince you to stay.”
I grinned. “In that case, yes, I’m looking for a reason to leave.” I gave him my best wide-eyed innocent look. “Convince me to stay?”
He kissed me for a mind-blowing couple of minutes, then pulled back. “Unfortunately, I have to go right now. Can I convince you later?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Remember where we were.” He headed toward the bedroom to get dressed.
Meanwhile, the knowledge that he wanted me to stay in Ugly Creek had me feeling all warm inside.
****
Fifteen minutes later, Ace dropped me off at home with a gentle kiss before he headed off to document the mayor’s bad day. As I started up the three steps to the front porch, I felt somebody watching me and turned to see Miz Carlisle staring.
“When I was coming up, young ladies didn’t butter the bread before it was baked.”
She glared darkly at me as I turned and walked across the porch.
I went inside the house, closed the door, and leaned back against it. “When you were coming up, guys hit young ladies over the head and dragged them back to the man cave.”
Terri’s laugh came from across the room. “If that crazy old bitch keeps on, she’ll drive us to do something useful, like duct taping her mouth.”
I sighed. “That sounds entirely too appealing.”
“There’s some of the sticky stuff under the sink. It’s the plain old gray though. Do you think she�
��d prefer polka-dots? Or maybe something in a nice pastel stripe?”
I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee my panties. When I finally stopped, Terri grinned at me.
“Feel better?”
“Yes, much.” I wiped my eyes as I looked at her. “We have way too little fun at her expense.”
“Hell, yes. We must correct that immediately, or at least as soon as I get back from the library.” She picked up her computer case.”
“You’re going out to write?”
“No. I’m dragging my laptop with me because I want to build up my biceps.”
“And they say writers don’t get enough exercise.”
She stuck her tongue out, then started toward the door, only to stop halfway and look back. “Have you told Ace about me?”
Her heartfelt expression surprised me. “The shapeshifting? No.”
“If you’re getting serious about him, you need to tell him. He’s smart, he’ll figure it out before long anyway.” Her eyes sent concern in my direction. “I wouldn’t want my split personality to cause a problem between the two of you.”
“We aren’t serious.”
“Right. You just keep on telling yourself that.” She edged past me and out the front door.
I locked the door behind her and headed for the shower. It was good to be alone for a while. Peace and quiet, that’s what I’d wanted for a long time. Just being by myself and not having to look after anybody except me.
So why did I feel so restless?
****
I took advantage of the quiet to write, or at least I tried. Unfortunately, I kept getting sidetracked thinking about the man whose bed I’d left only a few hours ago. I told myself it was simple lust coupled with the uncommon feeling of being cared for. I was lying to myself, and I knew it. I was in love. How could I be so stupid as to give a piece of my heart away? Giving to others was all I’d done for most of my life. I needed to take care of me for once.
Besides, a relationship between Ace and me could not possibly work out. He wasn’t likely to be interested in something serious, and even if he was, I couldn’t take the chance that Mom might need me. I was all she had, and I had to be there for her. I needed to enjoy my freedom while I had it and stop obsessing over a freaking man.
So I forced myself to get back to work. I made progress too, on the contracted book. I was feeling quite proud of myself. Then my cell phone rang.
When I saw the display, I almost put the phone down and ran out the door. I’m a responsible adult, though, so I ignored the mean little voice in my head telling me the fun was over, and answered the cell.
“Hello, sweetheart,” Aunt Ruth said. “How are things in Ugly Creek?”
“They’re fine here. How’s the cruise going?”
“It’s fabulous. We’re having a wonderful time.”
“Is Mom okay?”
“Why don’t you talk to her yourself?”
There was the sound of the phone being transferred, and then, “Hello, Shay.”
“Mom.” Tears stung my eyes. “How are you doing?”
“I’m having a ball.” The voice was familiar, the happiness wasn’t. “I got hit on by a man not much older than you. Do you believe it? Did wonders for my ego.”
Younger man? This had to be an alternate reality or something. “I’m glad you’re having a good time.”
“How are things going with you?”
“Really well. It’s fun living with Terri.”
“I’m so glad. I know things have been hard for you, baby. I’m really sorry about that.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it isn’t. I can’t change the past, but I can make sure your future is better.”
“Mom.” My voice cracked.
“Well, I’d better get off the phone so we can go and buy more souvenirs. I’ll bring you some great things back. Just wait till you see. Love you, baby.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
I clicked off the phone, put it down on the table, and stared at it. What the hell had just happened? Who was that happy woman with my mother’s voice?
****
I spent sundown sitting on the back steps thinking about my life. Terri was in bed so she could get up and write before daylight. She told me she’d had a call from her mother also, who, like my mom, reported having a wonderful time. Things were working out the way I’d hoped. Why did something still seem off?
My phone sounded and I admit to being a bit startled. Okay, I came close to falling off the steps. Then I saw the name and smiled. “Hi, Ace.”
“Hello, beautiful.”
My face went warm, and my smile widened. “How did the accident coverage go?”
His warm chuckle sent tingles through me.
“It was crazier than I thought it might be. The mayor’s thirteen-year-old daughter was out joyriding with her ten-year-old brother.”
Several horrible possibilities shot through my mind. “Oh my God! Are they all right?”
“They’re fine, sweetheart. They actually were pretty smart. They stayed on the side roads and wore their seat belts and didn’t go very fast. Their ride finally ended when the girl swerved to avoid hitting a squirrel and the car went into a ditch. They couldn’t get the car back out, so they called Daddy.”
“They weren’t hurt? You’re sure?”
“I’m sure. They were more afraid of getting in trouble than anything.
The humor in the situation finally got into my head, and I laughed. “Ugly Creek is an odd town, but it’s all Southern.”
“That it is. Give me your email addy, and I’ll send you some pics as soon as I get them downloaded from my camera.”
“Thanks.”
“How was your afternoon?”
His deep, warm voice did something to my insides, and I heard myself saying, “My mom called.”
“Is she enjoying her trip?”
“She says she’s having a great time. She definitely sounds happy.”
“So nothing’s wrong?”
“No. Why?”
“Because you sound down.”
“I’m not. I’m happy for her. I am.”
“But?”
“I gave up so much for her.” I hung my head. What was my problem? “I shouldn’t have said that.” Tears burned my eyes.
“It’s me, honey. You can be open with me.”
“But it isn’t Mom’s fault.” Tears escaped and ran down one cheek.
“Hey, don’t beat yourself up. Logic doesn’t change the way we feel. You about your mother, or me about my parents blaming me for my brother’s death.”
Shock vibrated through me. “Oh, my God.”
“They know it isn’t logical. They try to not feel they way they do, but it’s hard. I blame myself sometimes too.”
“How in the world could you be responsible for your brother’s death?”
He was quiet for a minute. “I got mad about something, I don’t remember what, and I ran away. Adam went looking for me. It started raining and he got soaked. Two weeks later he was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor.”
“You don’t get brain tumors from being rained on.”
“I know it isn’t logical, but when you lose somebody you love, you need somebody to blame.”
“You know you aren’t responsible, right?”
“Mostly I do. It took me a long time to get there, but I did.”
My heart cracked a little. “Oh, Ace.” The nickname felt strange given the topic of discussion. “I know your name is Alexander C. Ellison. Have you always gone by your initials?”
He chuckled, which made me feel better.
“My family calls me Alex. How about you, Shannon?”
I laughed. “Clearly we’ve Googled each other. Pretty much everybody calls me Shay. When we were little, Terri heard somebody say my name was Shannon May, so she ran the two together and called me Shay. It stuck.”
“It’s cute. I think Shannon is pretty though.”
“Tha
nk you.” I smiled. My real name on his tongue had me feeling a connection to him I didn’t want to examine too closely.
“I’d better go download those shots and send a few to Mr. Costa for tomorrow’s paper.”
“I should get some word count done before it gets too late.”
“Good night, Shannon.”
“Good night, Alex.”
We hung up, and I sat on the steps a while longer thinking about a future that was not likely to happen. But one I wanted just the same.
Chapter 15
I was awakened the next morning by the sound of rain pouring from the skies punctuated by an occasional clap of thunder. I pulled the blanket over my head. I’m a writer, not a duck. Writers are artistic types, and we don’t keep regular hours. Besides, I didn’t have anybody to take care of, or watch out for, so I didn’t have to get up. If I wanted to I could just stay in bed all day. That thought was so depressing I threw back the covers and got my rear out of that bed.
What was wrong with me? Here I had what I’d wanted for years. Why wasn’t I happy? Thoroughly disgusted with myself, I headed to the bathroom. This day was going to start whether I wanted it to or not.
I stumbled into the kitchen just as Trixie blew in through the doggie door. The next thing I knew, the big dog shook water all over the place, followed closely by a naked Terri shaking out her long blonde hair.
“That is so weird.”
She looked at me, head tipped to one side.
“What’s weird?”
“Your hair being wet. Freaks me out a little every time.”
Her forehead wrinkled. “Why?”
“I don’t know, it just does.” I shrugged.
She shrugged back and headed for her room.
I put coffee in the machine and hoped the storm would end soon.
****
Three hours and fifteen hundred words later, the storm had ended and I felt good about my work for a change. I was getting close to finishing my contracted book. Then I would be free to go in a new direction if I wanted. The question was, what did I really want?
My cell chirped and a hopeful shiver shot through me, but it wasn’t him. “Hello, Stephie.”
“Hi, Shay. Did you hear about the rezoning meeting?”
“What rezoning meeting?”
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