He turned to look at the backyard. “This place is made for sitting. Talking. Got anything to drink?”
She nodded and then chastised herself for feeling so girly and fluttery right now. He was just a man and she’d had many men in her life. None quite like Erick but still. “Tequila or water?”
“Yes.” His laugh relaxed her and she went in to grab the bottle, a couple glasses and a bottle of water.
When she joined Erick he’d already taken a seat on the lounge and she took the one beside him. “This view is incredible.”
“Yes. It is,” he told her, his gaze never leaving her face.
“You don’t get views like this in L.A. Not unless you’re way out in the desert.”
“Is that where you were when you left, the desert?”
She nodded, eyes still focused on all the stars in the sky. “For a little while, then I headed to Turkey to handle some work for one of my first clients. I stopped in Tokyo for a while to clear my head.” It had worked like a charm too, getting lost in such an amazing city had allowed her to think about her life. Her future and what she wanted out of it. And what she was willing to sacrifice to get it.
“Did it work?”
“It did.” She turned and saw nothing but questions on his face.
He started simple. “Why did you come back?”
“Mostly it was because of you.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “Mostly?”
She’d been sitting inside one of the little noodle shops enjoying a spicy ramen bowl that was too spicy even for her, when she realized she’d done it again. Ran. “I decided I wouldn’t let you run me out of Emerald Creek a second time.”
“I wasn’t trying to run you out of town Dre.” He shook his head in disbelief, raking a hand through already mussed brown hair, pain shining in his deep dark depths. “I didn’t think you would never come back.”
She laughed bitterly. “Really? You thought I’d want to come back here and see you and your little wife and baby every damn place I went, Erick…seriously? Having everyone look at me with fucking pity burning in their eyes? Yeah, I don’t think so.” She didn’t want to get angry and rehash that again but, dammit. The man couldn’t be this clueless in real life.
“I suppose not but it wasn’t just me.”
Yeah. “And that’s why I refused to let it happen again.” No matter what happened with them she would make time to visit Shayna and the kids. Kira too.
“I don’t want you to go away again.” He grabbed her hands in his, an earnest expression on his face. “I’m so damn sorry about, hell about everything that went down with Calista.”
“Sorry about what, exactly?” She heard the anguish in his voice and she believed his words were genuine, but she needed to know he understood what he’d done.
He let out a wry grin. “You’re gonna make me say it?”
“Damn straight.”
“I shouldn’t have taken Calista’s word over yours.” He sighed, staring deep into her eyes so heavy she could feel it. “I should have come to you first. Put you first,” he admitted sheepishly.
Yeah it still hurt to hear. To remember. “I shouldn’t even be upset. She is who you chose the first time.”
“Dre, come on.”
This wouldn’t get them anywhere. “Can’t change the past Erick but I’m worried there’s a lot of the past right here in the present.”
“What’s that mean?”
She sighed. “It means that this is how it will always be. She’ll come around and kick up trouble and I’ll just be right where I was that day. Last on your list of priorities.” It sounded needy even to her own ears but she didn’t feel ashamed of that, didn’t think it was a bad thing to expect to be somebody’s number one.
“That’s what you think?”
She paused and poured herself a shot, letting the warm liquid slide down her throat and burn her insides. “That’s what I fear, Erick.” A shaky breath left her. It felt refreshing to get it all out, to tell him everything. Mostly. But it was also scary as hell.
“Shit, Dre I don’t know what to say to that.”
“Try the truth.” Her gaze dropped to her hands. “It’s all I ever wanted from you Erick. If you were unhappy with me being away at school you should have said so, or broken up with me. Instead you said nothing and cheated on me.” Tears stung her eyes before they began a slow and steady trickle down her cheek. “So tell me Erick, if I say what I want to say to you right now, if we give this a try, tell me that you can be honest. That you can put me ahead of her.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Put me ahead of her. Erick knew exactly who she meant and what she was asking and his answer was simple. But he hadn’t said anything while Dre sat waiting for him, looking beautiful in the dress she’d word just for him.
Just for me. Dre had made an effort for him. Because she wanted him and Erick knew he needed to honor that effort by being completely honest. “Ahead of Calista, right?”
She nodded, worrying her bottom lip while she waited for my answer.
“Why? Is this some type of competition?” He didn’t understand it, not if he had room in his life and in his heart for her. And he did. He had plenty of room for her in his life.
“No, it’s not a competition Erick. If you don’t think you can do that we are wasting our time here.”
Her words were so matter of fact. So resigned because she was sure he wouldn’t, no couldn’t put her first. So final that he couldn’t help but believe her. Or at least he thought she thought she meant it. “She’s Orchid’s mother.” She always would be. Even if she wasn’t in her daughter’s life much.
“Oh. Okay then.” She stood, nodding as she smoothed the skirt of her dress and if he hadn’t been looking so carefully he would have missed it, the slight tremble in her hand. Her feet moved, taking her away from him before he even realized she was leaving.
“Dre, wait!” He followed her up the steps, heart racing as he realized how close he was to losing her for good.
When she turned to face him, all emotion had vanished from her face. Skin pale with red tear-stained eyes, she held her hands loose at her sides and stood with a stiff stoicism he would have admired if not aimed at him. Her expression carefully blank because she would never show signs of nerves or weakness. “What is it?”
“That’s it? We’re done?”
She nodded. “What else is there to talk about? We don’t need to turn this into some big scene Erick. I made myself clear and so have you.” The step she took backwards was so small he’d have missed it if not for how carefully he watched her. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”
“No, dammit Dre. We’re not done here. Calista isn’t the issue between us.”
She laughed bitterly. “Seriously? Then please, tell me what the issue is.”
“You. Your need to come first. Always.” He raked a frustrated hand through his hair, his expression hardening.
But she didn’t argue as he expected. No, Dre squared her shoulders and gave a curt nod. “Then you should be happy we’re done.”
He wasn’t happy at all. Not with the strange turn the conversation had taken.
“It was nice while it lasted Erick. Take care of yourself.”
“Dre,” he pleaded.
“No. Now you can go and find someone who doesn’t always need to come first, though for the record when did I ever ask that? Was it when I encouraged you to go to culinary school that put you on the road that ended us? Was it when I didn’t turn you into the bad guy by telling the town what you did? Maybe it was when I didn’t…nope, never mind.”
Hell when she put it like that he felt like a jackass for saying that to her. She hadn’t ever asked to be put first but she desperately needed someone to put her first. He hadn’t. Al hadn’t. No one had since her mom. Not even me. Why did he need to even think about Calista? The woman had helped him hurt the love of his life. She had abandoned her daughter when she hadn’t gotten her way and she continued to confuse
and hurt Orchid. He couldn’t afford to even consider Calista if he wanted a future with Dre, and that was exactly what he wanted. The future.
Forever.
“You’re right Dre, I’m so damn sorry. You deserve to be put first, dammit. I love you and I’ll spend the rest of my life, if you’ll let me, putting you first.” He couldn’t lose her. Not now. Not when they were so close to having everything. Erick reached out to her, relieved when she didn’t pull away.
“I don’t want you to say it out of fear Erick. I want you to say it because it’s true, because you realize that we can’t have a future if your ex is still your priority.” She cupped his jaw, thumb stroking his bottom lip gently. “If you figure it out, come find me.”
He watched her go inside, feeling helpless. Hopeless. Was this how it would end, after everything they’d been through this summer? A lousy fucking whimper?
Erick didn’t know how long he stood out there on her porch, staring at the yard she’d taken and turned into a backyard oasis. He wanted this with her. Backyard barbecues. Late nights gazing up at the stars with his head buried in her lap while Orchid slept in her room. They could finally have it all. A little later than they had dreamed it but still, they could have the future he’d denied them with one careless act. Shit.
He stepped forward and smacked his fist against the door, ringing the bell. “Dre open up! Dre!” He knew she hadn’t gone to sleep yet so he waited, pressing the bell down every few seconds until she came back.
The door opened to reveal Dre in nothing but a tank top and thin lacy panties. “What do you want?”
“You.” He stepped over the threshold and grabbed her face, angling it as his mouth crashed down over hers. Hot and fast, the kiss swirled out of control quickly as he slammed her against the wall and her legs wrapped around his body. This. This was how it should be between them always. Passionate and loving, hot and raw, words unnecessary. Explosive.
He swallowed her moan and gripped her ass, grinding against her hot center, enjoying the way her hips rocked against him. “Erick,” she moaned when his mouth left hers to trail down the column of her neck.
The sound of her panting and moaning in his ear was more than he could stand, especially when they had more to talk about before he got her naked. “Dre.” She licked in his neck in response, making him shiver. “Dre…we need…to talk first.”
Her head fell to his shoulder, dark ringlets blocking his view as he turned towards the table. “Will it change anything?”
Everything from her voice to her posture screamed dejection. “I’m sure it will.” Because he had a lot to say and she would listen to every word. “You were right Dre. About everything.” He took the seat beside her at the table and turned the chair so they were face to face, his legs bracketing hers in the small space between them. “You deserve to be put ahead of Calista. You are the woman I want, I need in my life and I never want you to doubt that. Not even for a day.”
She released a shuddery breath, too stunned and emotional to get a word past her lips. The smallest bob of her head confirmed that he had her full attention.
“I hate what I did to you. To us. I love Orchid with all my heart but Calista wasn’t you and every day with her was just a reminder of what I’d ruined. And tossed away. I need you to know that while I could never regret Orchid, I hate that I hurt you. I never stopped loving you, Dre.”
“So what changed?”
Leave it to Dre to cut right through the emotional crap and get straight to the facts. “You did. The thought of losing you again made me realize that I could give you what you were asking for. That there wasn’t any damn thing I would give you, or do for you. That you weren’t asking for too much. Being a priority is what you deserve and I want to give you that. More than anything, Dre.” He grabbed her hands in his and brought them to his mouth, brushing soft kisses against delicate fingers and holding them close to his chest. “Dre you deserve so much more than that. We both know I’m the man to give it to you. You’re mine and I’m yours. Always.” Erick waited, his heart blasting against his chest as it slithered to his throat and caught, making swallowing difficult.
“All I’ve ever wanted was you Erick.” Her voice had taken on a shaky quality and he didn’t know whether she would cry or smack him.
He felt a but coming and he couldn’t stand the excruciating wait. “Then what’s the problem?”
Her bottom lip trembled slightly and a fist wrapped around his chest and squeezed. “I’m scared,” she whispered tearfully. “The last time I let you in, it hurt like hell to lose you, Erick.”
“Dre I thought-,”
She held up a hand. “I’m not saying this to rehash things or place blame, I’m just telling you how I feel. I want you. I want us but I am so damn scared to let myself fall.” She blinked and the first tear fell.
He cupped her face until those hazel eyes slammed into his, so full of love and fear. “Do you love me Dre?” She nodded and diverted her eyes. “I can’t hear you.”
“Yes, okay? I do love you!” Pushing his hands away Dre put more distance between them. “Even when I hated you, I was in love with you. As pathetic as that is to admit, it’s true.”
Pathetic. He’d had her love for the better part of his life even when he didn’t deserve it and she thought it was pathetic. Unbelievable. “It’s not pathetic Dre, it’s incredible. You have such a capacity for love and you don’t even realize it. I’m honored that you loved me all these years even when I didn’t deserve it, and I would really love it if I could be the one to love you back for the rest of our years.”
Her smile trembled but he’d seen it, felt gratified by it. “Yeah?”
“Hell yeah.” The certainty in his voice underscored only by the sure gleam in his eyes.
“The rest of our years is a very long time,” she replied fatalistically.
He couldn’t help the grin that tugged on his mouth. “It is. But you know what they say, Dre?”
“Time heals all wounds?”
“No. Time flies when you’re having fun.”
Her lips curved into the smile he’d been waiting for, lighting up her face and making her look as beautiful as she had the night they first made love. “Fun, huh? Well there are only a couple things I love more than fun,” she shot back, her tone playful.
“I’d love to know what they are, in the name of a healthy relationship of course,” he answered seriously.
“Of course,” Dre agreed, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “The answers are simple. Tequila and…you.”
His whole body sagged in relief at her words but he figured they’d done enough talking for one night. He was all talked out. So he kissed her.
Long and hard.
Hot and hungry.
Not letting up until she pulled him through the house and up to her bedroom where they proceeded to make up for all the years they’d lost.
Epilogue
1 year later
Once again Dre found herself running late. Long nights had been the norm for the past six months when Red Rock Designs had been tapped to handle the online promotions and tours for a new European theme park said to rival the mouse with the big ears. Those who had chosen to follow her and Burke to Emerald Creek had barely gotten to enjoy the small town atmosphere thanks to the big project. This was the company’s biggest coup to date and they were all determined to make it something the world couldn’t stop talking about.
Earlier in the day she’d been struck with an idea to add an Easter egg of sorts, offering up hidden gems in the park for adventure enthusiasts, super fans and gamers who she knew would be unable to resist finding them.
Because they could.
But all that hard work also meant by the time she stopped for a water break, she had fifteen minutes to shower, get dressed and make it over to Maverick’s for a special dinner Erick had planned. “Everyone go home. I’m done for the day and so are you. Go home, get drunk or go out and enjoy Autumn’s In The Air!” The first of many
fall festivals began last night and she knew the key to making sure everyone enjoyed the move was to make sure they all got out and actually enjoyed everything Emerald Creek had to offer.
Choruses of “Later, Boss” rang out as, one by one, they slowly drifted out of the house on Cedarwood that she’d decided to keep as an unofficial office in addition to the one she’d purchased on what used to be the wrong side of the creek.
Upstairs she made a mad dash to get ready for tonight. Dre had a feeling Erick had planned something more than one of his normal romantic nights out, mostly because he’d reminded her about today no less than fifty time over the past week. She suspected it was a proposal but she didn’t want to speculate because she never truly thought they would make it here.
The past year had been amazing, if trying at times as they got used to being in a relationship as adults. Six months ago they’d bought the empty plot next to the home Erick and Orchid shared and expanded it to add additional bedrooms, offices and a sunroom. He called it ridiculous but Dre and Orchid thought it was pretty amazing, thank you very much. So they’d been living together for six months. She’d been playing the role of stepmother since the night they became a couple, officially. It was all so incredible. So overwhelming. So fucking perfect.
At times she thought it might be too perfect.
But Erick had kept his end of the bargain to put her first and Dre hadn’t run at the first hint of trouble. She stayed and worked it out even if that meant fighting. Silent treatment or vigorous makeup sex. The growing pains were all gone now—mostly—and things were even better than Dre had imagined they could be back when she dared think of such things.
Now the more pressing issue she needed help with had to do with what she should wear on a night like this, where everything could change. With seven minutes to spare until she was officially late, Dre had opted for sexy and simple. Jeans, suede wedge booties perfect for the first signs of autumn and a sexy black tunic that left her shoulders bare. It was sexy and more importantly, completely Dre.
Best Of My Love Page 21
