“Yeah, for under a year. And they know about your sister and why you joined. They know you’re loyal to me.” He stands behind me and wraps his arms around my body, pulling me into his hard chest. I feel cocooned in his warmth. I close my eyes and breathe in deep. It’s not fair that he can put me at ease so effortlessly.
“Besides, there’s someone there I really think you should meet.”
“Who’s that?” I ask.
“You should meet Ava. I think you’d really love getting to know her. She lost her sister, too.”
“Ava?” The name rings a bell, but I’m not sure why.
“Yeah, she’s been asking about you. She wants to meet you.” He speaks his words softly, like he's waiting for something.
“Why does that name sound familiar?”
“Ivanov.” He says her last name and everything clicks into place. I turn in his arms to face him with wide eyes. She’s supposedly dead.
I part my lips, but I don’t ask. I know not to ask questions.
He gives me a small smile and says softly, “A bad man hurt her once, but she made him pay. She's a strong woman, like you. I think you two are going to get along great.”
Tears prick at my eyes, and I hold onto him with everything in me. He kisses my hair, while I try to calm down.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but he’s long gone, Tonya. He’ll never hurt anyone else.”
I cry in his arms. I haven't cried in weeks, but the need to purge all my sadness has me leaning against him in tears. He rubs my back while I cry for all of them. For my sister, for Ava’s sister. For Ava and the other survivors. I cry for them all. A calmness washes through me as I settle with exhaustion into his embrace. A feeling like a rebirth. Like I’ll finally have a fresh start. Maybe now I can finally get the catharsis I've been striving for all this time.
My blurry eyes catch a glimpse of the picture frame I put on Tommy’s nightstand. It’s the same picture that’s in my locket. My hand reaches up and I grab onto it. We were just young girls in middle school and high school, but it’s my favorite picture of us. I can’t wait until we move and make a new place of our own. We need a fresh start. And moving is the way to make that happen.
I look up at Tommy with wonder, but also a sense of insecurity. I haven’t forgotten what Jerry said, and if I’m honest with myself, I’m worried about Tommy and about him staying in the familia.
“Spit it out, baby.” His hand settles on the nape of my neck, and his thumb brushes along my jaw. It soothes me. Everything about him soothes me.
“I don’t know if I can live with you doing this, Tommy. I don’t--” I just want to list all the reasons this is so wrong. But his lips silence mine in a sweet kiss.
I moan into his mouth, just loving his touch. He pulls back, and looks at me with sincerity.
“I told you, I'm not working for the familia anymore.” I know what he said, but he's too fucking happy for that to really be the case.
“Forget about right and wrong for just a moment. Just listen to your heart, baby. What does it want? Us being together may be fucked up and wrong. But it’s what I want.”
I struggle to respond. He’s right. I do want him. He’s the only thing I want.
“Just give me a chance to love you.” His hand brushes along my belly, where our baby's growing.
It may be wrong, but I want him. I love him.
He must see that I’ve decided. He smirks and says in a playful tone, “You know you’re my bad girl.”
I shake my head and let a small laugh escape me. Tommy takes my chin in his hand and kisses me. My lips mold to his and I give in.
I love him, and that’s all that matters.
“I love you, Tommy,” I whisper as he pulls away from me.
“I love you, too.”
Epilogue
Tommy
I'm so fucking nervous. I don’t remember the last time my heart beat so damn hard in my chest. I shake out my hands again and start pacing.
“I’m telling you, she’s gonna say no.” I turn on my heels to face Anthony. The fucker’s grinning from ear to ear.
“You fucking love this, don’t you?” I ask him.
He smirks back at me and says, “You know I do. You get all stressed out about shit you shouldn’t be worried about.” He takes a sip of his drink and then adds, “Besides, you’ll have plenty of stress when the next list comes in.”
He’s right. I’m not as calm as Anthony is yet. I’m doing hits with him now. I’m cut off from familia business, and taking the contract hits instead. Anthony’s been showing me the ropes. And I have to admit I’m enjoying it, but I’ve got a ton of shit to learn.
I should probably be worried that I’m not really seen as a member of the familia by outsiders, but I’m not. Vince told me not to be. He’s my cousin, my blood, and he’s grown to love Tonya. All the family has.
He said things need to blow over, time to settle down. And I’m fine with that. I’d be lying if I said I was unhappy taking these hits with Anthony. It’s a nice change of pace, and less risk than what I’m used to. I don’t really give a shit what I do, so long as I have my family and my girl.
She’s accepted, especially with the women. They’ve been pampering the hell out of her since she’s pregnant with our little boy. She’s having a difficult time now that she’s so far along. But he's going to be here soon. We can't fucking wait.
“You're thinking about him, aren’t you?” Anthony asks. Then he teases, “He’s gonna ruin your sex life.”
I shake my head and grin at him. He's got a shit-eating grin on his face. “You said her pregnancy was gonna ruin our sex life, and look how good that turned out.” I can hardly keep up with her. My bad girl still wants me. All fucking day if she can. “You’re so damn negative, you know that?” I tell him, as I peek out of the back doors and into the restaurant.
“Yeah, I’m a little jealous, I gotta admit that.”
I look at my brother with surprise. “Of me?” He’s never been jealous of me my whole life.
He scrunches his forehead as he replies, “Don’t look at me like that. I can be jealous if I want.”
“If you wanna girl, go get one. You wanna baby, go make one.”
He huffs a laugh and downs his drink. “It’s not quite that simple, Tommy.”
I start to tell him, “Yeah, it is that simple,” but think back and realize that no, it's not. Not for the right one. Then I hear my girl. She’s laughing, and I’d recognize that beautiful sound anywhere. I open the door a crack and look out.
She’s in black leggings and a hot pink sweater that hugs her swollen belly. She went out for ladies’ night and looks so damn happy. Ava’s hanging on her arm. The two of them are close now. Thick as thieves. I’ve gotten to know more about Kane than I ever wanted.
“Showtime.” Anthony smacks my shoulder and gets ready to open the door.
“Not yet.” I say quickly, shutting it and taking a deep breath.
“Bro, knock it off. It’s in the bag.” I look back at him and try to calm my nerves. “For real, Tommy. She loves you.” He pats my back and adds, “She’s gonna make a good wife.”
I nod my head. She is. She’s gonna be my wife. And I’m going to give her our happily ever after that she deserves.
Anthony smiles at me. “That’s the Tommy I know. Go get yourself a wife.” He opens the door and I take a few steps out into the restaurant.
She's facing away from me in her seat. They sat her like that on purpose. Ava sees me first, and lights up. She grabs a drink menu and tries to distract Tonya. The ladies look up at me one by one, and try to not make it obvious.
Aunt Linda’s smile is so fucking big, though. She’s gonna give it away. She covers her face with her hand and pretends to cough. I get down on my knee behind her and look to my right to see the guys coming out. We’re all ready to surprise her with a baby shower. I knew I wanted to do this in front of everyone, and doing it here and now, it just felt right.
While the ladies distract her, the guys open up the back room doors where the party will be. I hear them all standing behind me. It’s go time. I know it is, but I can’t fucking move. My nerves are getting the best of me.
I shake out my hands with my eyes closed, and that’s when I hear her.
“Tommy?” Her voice is full of shock. I open my eyes with the ring box in my left hand, get down on one knee, and see her wide-eyed and covering her mouth. She's got her hands up like she’s saying a prayer.
“You’re such a bad girl. You were supposed to wait till I told you to turn around.” I smirk at her. Just seeing her excitement and the happiness in her eyes puts me at ease.
Her hands fly down and start flapping like she’s a little kid.
“Tonya Ann Kelly, marry me.” I hold up the box to show her the three carat, cushion cut diamond ring with side accents I've picked out for her. I went to three different stores, but the second I saw this one, it was all over. I knew I needed to put this one on her finger.
She flings herself at me and wraps her arms around me. I don’t wait for her to answer. I slip the ring on her finger, where it belongs. Everyone’s clapping and laughing. I can hear Aunt Linda crying, 'cause that’s what she does. But the best sound is coming from my bad girl’s lips. She’s got her head buried in my neck while she clings to me, “I love you so much Tommy. I love you.”
I pull back to look into her gorgeous eyes; they’re full of nothing but happiness. “I know you do, baby. I love you, too.”
Bad Girl is book 4 in the Valetti Crime Family Series.
I’ve been hit with a little inspiration and I’ll be writing something a bit different for the next release, Broken, a Dark Romance.
For those of you wondering about Clara’s story, she’ll be getting one this fall. (She’s Dom and Vince’s sister and seen in book 1, Dirty Dom.)
In fact, here’s a sneak peek at Take Me (The Mariani Crime Family Book 1) which is Clara and Johnny’s story.
Clara
I stare out my bedroom window as I watch Johnny leave. My fingers tighten their grip on the curtain and my heart squeezes in my chest. He’s the only man I've ever given all of myself to in my entire life. I laid myself bare to him. I’d have done anything for him, but now he’s leaving me.
The fucking bastard looks back at me and I have to move away. I won’t let him see me cry. I’m quick to pull the curtains back into place and sit as calmly as I can on the bed. It’s completely false though. Inside I’m utterly broken. My heart’s shattered, and I don’t know how I’ll survive this. It’s not the first time I’ve watched him go, but this will be the last.
This is all because of who I am, and the men in my familia. They all think they know what’s best for me, the princess of the Valetti crime family. Princess--I fucking hate that word now. If I never hear it again in my entire life, it'll be too soon.
I have to close my eyes and ignore the throbbing need between my legs as I hear his voice echo in my head. “I love you, my princess.” He doesn’t love me. You don’t leave someone if you love them.
He’s just like every other man my family's warned me about. I was stupid to believe him and all his fucking lies. Anger rises inside of me, and I force myself to hold onto it. I need to use it to get rid of this numbing sadness that makes me feel so fucking weak. If I have to choose between feeling like this or feeling angry, I’d much rather be angry. Besides, I should be angry. At Johnny, at my brothers, my father, and the rest of the familia.
I’m surrounded by men, and I’m fucking sick of them. My heart breaks as I think back to Johnny’s excuse. “It’s what’s best for you.” Fuck him. He doesn’t know what’s best for me. None of them do.
A knock at my door makes my heart jump in my chest. My initial reaction is that it’s Johnny, that he’s come back. But I’m only stupid enough to think that for a moment. It’s my Pops, or one of my brothers. I know it is. I’ve been naive to think I managed to keep our relationship quiet. Of course they all knew about Johnny and me. And now they all know he dumped me. I’m sure of it. I wipe away the tears under my eyes and walk to the door with my shoulders squared.
I open it up wide and don’t give a fuck that my eyes are probably red and puffy, and my cheeks are stained with tears. I’m sure they’ve been talking about me. And they can all get bent if they think I’ll put on a smile just to save some face.
“Jesus, Clara.” Pops walks in and pulls me in for a hug. At first I’m stiff. I want to hate him and everyone else for making me grow up in the familia. But I can’t. My shoulders sag as I hold on to him and bury my head into his chest. Even if they're all overprotective assholes, they still love me. I know they do, and they’re only doing what they think is best.
“It’s alright,” he says as he shushes me and gently rubs my back. It doesn’t help this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It doesn’t help anything at all. Nothing can help me. I just want Johnny back. I fucking hate that I do, and I know nothing will soothe my pain until I get over him.
I pull away and quickly wipe my nose with my sleeve. I try to do it all dainty and ladylike, but it’s fucking useless. Whatever, I’m a mess, and I deserve to look like one.
“You okay?” he asks in a soft voice, and it makes me want to smack him. No, of course I’m not fucking okay.
“It hurts.” I feel so weak for admitting it, but it’s true. It hurt so bad to watch him leave me.
“It’s just one guy, Clara. It’s gonna be alright.” I hate how he belittles it like that. Johnny was my first, and my only. But not anymore.
“I just don’t understand,” I say. I cry into my hands and hate that I can’t stop crying. I throw my head back and take a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. I didn’t even cry when Johnny left me. I didn’t show him a single fucking emotion other than pure hate. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could have begged him not to leave. But I’m a Valetti. And we don’t beg.
“You’re just not the kind of girl who should be involved with someone in the mob,” Pops says.
All my anger comes back full force and I cling to it. I need that anger. “Oh, and what kind of girl am I, then?” I demand. I sniffle and stare at Pops, daring him to give me an answer.
He stares me dead in the eyes as he answers, “One who asks too many questions.” I swallow the lump growing in my throat.
I just shake my head and cross my arms across my chest as I sit back down on the bed. It’s my fault then. I feel it in my gut. Maybe if I wasn’t so nosy we could have stayed together. I ruined it. Johnny told me that I needed to settle down my curiosity and keep my nose out of the business. I should’ve listened to him. It takes a minute, but my father finally sits next to me.
“He could’ve stayed with me,” I say quietly. It’s a simple truth. Johnny didn’t have to leave me, he chose to go.
“He had to go.” Pops' words are absolute. My heart clenches in my chest as I feel a wave of betrayal.
“Did you send him away?” I ask the one question I need answered for sure. One that Johnny wouldn’t answer.
“This is why you two couldn’t be together. You're always asking questions, Clara.” I want to curl up and cry, but I don’t. Instead I feel my walls go up. I can’t stand any of them. All these secrets. They can go to hell.
“Well, he’s not involved anymore.” I wish they would have just left us alone.
“Not with us.” Pops holds my gaze and I have to look away. “Johnny’s going home, and you know what that means for him.”
I refuse to acknowledge my father. I feel a dull ache in my chest. Neither of us had a choice to begin with. Johnny was born into a powerful mob familia, just like I was. We'll never escape this shit.
“Don’t look at me like that. Don’t act like you didn’t know how this would end.” Pops' voice takes on a hard edge. “You should’ve known better.” I can't help the glare that pops up on my face.
“What I really want to know is, how hard did you have to
push him to leave?” I look up at my father, speaking only the truth. I really do want to know. Did he have to threaten him? Or was it easy for Johnny to walk away from me?
He gives me nothing but silence in return.
I bite the inside of my cheek and turn toward the window.
Deep down I knew it was a fantasy. It was just some fairy tale about a boy meeting a girl, being her first, and running away together. But it’s over now. I feel my defenses go up, and the rebellion in me takes over.
They don’t want me to date someone connected? Fine.
Johnny doesn’t want to fight for me? Fine.
I’m not a fucking princess, and I don’t have to let any man run my life.
I clear my throat and look back at my father as I say, “You’re right. I’ll just have to find someone else to fuck then.” Pops' lips press into a straight line and he stands up to leave. My cheeks flame, and I know I’ve crossed a line. But I’m sick of this shit.
Even though I said it to piss him off, even if I want to believe the words coming out of my own mouth...
I can’t deny these feelings I have for Johnny.
My heart’s a bitch, and it belongs to him. If only he’d take me.
Johnny
3 Years Later
I park my car and stare up at the house that I used to think of as my second home. I’d crash there every weekend with Dom, my boss and partner in crime. And more than that, he was my best friend. Until her. I couldn’t resist Clara. I couldn’t tell her no. I should have. I knew it was dangerous to take her like I wanted, but I did it anyway. I risked it all to have her, and it was sweet while it lasted. I’m honestly lucky the Valettis didn’t just kill me.
I was told to stay away, and I didn’t. They let me go once, but I know they won’t give me a second chance. But here I am on my former best friend's doorstep, and all I can think about is her. It’s been three years, but just looking at this house makes me want her in my arms right now. I lean my head back against the seat and close my eyes.
Bad Boy: Valetti Crime Family (A Bad Boy Mafia Romance) Page 32
