by Sharon Sant
‘It’s switched off,’ Luca told her grimly.
‘Phone his house,’ Ellen urged.
Luca dialled again. Ellen paced in a little decreasing circle as she waited.
‘No one’s answering,’ Luca said, looking not entirely sorry about the fact. It would have been an interesting conversation, breaking the news of Jacob’s disappearance to whichever parent had answered the phone, particularly if Jacob wasn’t at home with them; probably a conversation that Luca could have done without. He ended the call and stowed his mobile in his back pocket. ‘We’ll just have to keep looking.’
They walked on in silence. Luca’s excited sense of purpose had seemingly faded to grim but increasingly pessimistic determination. Ellen could only pray that Jacob had made it home and was perhaps sleeping off what she hoped was a brief malady, safe in his own bed. Having seen just how strange Jacob’s behaviour had been at lunch, her worry for him was greater than Luca’s and goosebumps peppered her flesh even in the warm spring air. She strode on, ignoring the warnings, not mentioning her fears to Luca, afraid to acknowledge the powerful but seemingly irrational instincts that told her something much worse was happening.
Ellen was suddenly forced to stop walking and stared into the distance. Luca halted and turned to face her with a questioning look which became one of alarm when he saw her expression twist with fear and pain. The connection that had once unwittingly been opened intruded again; she could hear Jacob’s calls echo through her thoughts, could feel his terror and anger, the slowing of his heart. The chilling form of Makash swam before her eyes, powerful and menacing. She glimpsed the landscape around him. The experience was a fleeting, intense instant which left her clammy and breathless.
‘He’s not far away.’ Ellen spoke with a vacant air, still not quite with her own mind. She broke into a run and Luca followed.
They climbed a gentle slope, strewn with fat dandelions. At the brow of the hill the land fell gracefully away to rejoin the red path below where a dark shadow seemed to dissipate in front of their eyes, so quickly that afterwards neither Luca nor Ellen could honestly say it had been there. As it cleared, they saw a motionless figure lying in the grass next to the path. Without a word, they both broke into a desperate run, almost overbalancing as they accelerated down the slope together. Ellen clutched Luca’s arm as they drew nearer to the body. A small squeal died in her throat and she clapped a hand over her open mouth as her worst fears became reality. Even at a distance of a few feet, she could see that Jacob was in a bad way.
Luca knelt down beside his friend. ‘Jacob!’ He shook him and called again. ‘Jacob, can you hear me?’ Luca prised Jacob’s mouth open and checked inside. ‘Not breathing,’ he muttered. Luca checked for a pulse. He seemed to be reciting a well rehearsed performance; Ellen felt a vague wonder at his brisk, confident manner. It was a Luca she hardly recognised. Without a word, Luca placed his mouth around Jacob’s in a seal and blew air into his lungs. Ellen watched as Jacob’s chest rose for a moment and then deflated. Luca clasped his hands together, one on top of the other, palm to back, and methodically worked his way down Jacob’s breastbone until he found the dividing place of his ribcage. He started to pump, massaging Jacob’s heart, counting as he did. He surveyed Jacob for a second. Seeing no response, Luca steeled himself, repeated the breath, and then started to count again.
Eighteen: Kiss of Life
Ioh watched his friend work on Jacob’s body with an incredulous smile. Luca had a secret self, just as Jacob did. It was a strange idea. Ioh felt light, content, still connected to Jacob’s body by the tiniest thread of life but strangely disconnected from the pain of existence. He observed from outside his body and yet was still in it. He wondered, without fear, if Luca and Ellen had arrived too late to save him. Looking round he saw that Ellen had moved to stand over his prone form. Her tears fell onto his shirt, making tiny dark circles on the fabric. She would be sad for a long time, but she would move on, Ioh reasoned, just as Maggie and Phil would. Jacob would be forgotten in a few years, a very short time against the framework of eternity.
Residual energy of his power during these, his last moments of existence, brought him flashes of angst, messages from Astrae of fear and uncertainty, of their knowing that soon their world would be tipped into chaos by the absence of a Watcher. Every soul on that world would be aware of the danger he was now in, perhaps even of the carelessness he now felt for what was left of his life. He could go back to his body, but he wasn’t sure he wanted it enough. He thought about Makash preparing to take over, who would stop him? Even that notion didn’t move him. He felt the call of his people on another world, willing him back, begging him not to desert them. But he was at peace now; it was easier to go on than go back.
‘Come on!’ Luca shouted through gritted teeth, becoming increasingly frustrated and sweating with the exertion. ‘Come on, Jacob, you’re not dying on me now!’
Luca was not giving up. Luca: Jacob’s truest friend, the lovable rogue, the happy-go-lucky boy who never seemed to care about anything or anyone was now desperate, frantic, determined. He carried on fighting for Jacob even when all hope seemed lost. Jacob had always underestimated him, never tried to understand him properly, written him off like everyone else. He felt a stab of guilt, his first real human emotion. How much sorrow would he bring to their lives with his death? How much pain would he cause Jacob’s two best friends if they could not save him?
Ioh made his choice, but it would need more strength than even he possessed. He called out to the darkness.
Ellen’s sobbing froze and she regarded Jacob’s motionless figure with a curious, startled look. She closed her eyes. As if the knowledge of what she had to do was imprinted, she slipped away from her rational mind and let the blackness embrace her without fear, losing herself completely in the realm of thoughts and subconscious will. A sudden massive strength swelled within her, energy like electricity pulsing through every fibre of her being. Whispers in an unknown language, too many to number, assailed her mind, yet she seemed to understand their meaning. Her head was full of voices, fit to explode with the sheer force of positive emotion, a power that was so much more than she was capable of alone. It was as if billions of souls had joined with her, channelling their energy in perfect harmony with hers.
She knelt down beside Luca and gently touched his arm. ‘Luca, let me try.’
There was something so confident, so serene in her manner that, without question, Luca moved aside. Ellen leaned over Jacob, held his face gently in both her hands and put her lips to his. It was a kiss of passion - not her passion, but the love of multitudes, brimming with power and life. She closed her eyes, pressed still more urgently, feeling the energy course through her and into him, willing him to breathe.
Then she lifted her face and waited.
Seconds later, Jacob gasped; a huge rattling breath and his eyes opened wide. He rolled onto his side, his head pounding and the daylight painful, but immediately aware of his survival. Luca fell back onto the ground, laughing weakly as he watched Jacob gape like a goldfish.
Ellen shuddered as she struggled to claim her mind back. She dropped to the grass next to Luca, also laughing, though hers was edged with a note of hysteria.
Jacob rolled onto his back again, now breathing more easily, staring without speech at the sky. He listened in silent appreciation to the sound of his own heart beating, the noise of rushing blood that echoed through his ears, felt the soft breeze ruffle his hair and lift the sweet-pepper scent of the grass. The concerned faces of his friends appeared above him, Ellen brushing away tears.
‘We should get an ambulance,’ she said.
Jacob shook his head with a small, jerky movement.
‘What do you think, Luca?’ Ellen asked.
‘I think you’re right.’
Jacob couldn’t speak. He shook his head again more forcefully and tried to prop himself up. The effort made him dizzy. ‘Don’t want an ambulance,’ he managed to whisper.
‘But….’
Jacob shook his head again. ‘No ambulance.’
They sat in silence looking at one another for what seemed like hours. Then a shaky, incredulous laugh erupted from Luca.
‘Ell, where the hell did you learn to do that?’
‘I could ask you the same thing,’ she replied dryly.
‘What?’
‘What do you mean what? The resuscitation thing! I had no idea you knew that stuff.’
‘Don’t laugh. I know it’s geeky… but, I’ve been going to St John Ambulance classes. I’m kinda thinking of working in medicine…’ he looked at his friends steadily, almost rebelliously, waiting for a reaction. ‘And,’ he added as a hurried afterthought, ‘don’t you dare tell anyone I snogged Jacob.’
‘It was amazing.’ Ellen gazed at him like she was looking at him for the first time.
‘I’m not complaining either. Though, I’m glad I can’t remember the snogging bit,’ Jacob croaked with a weak smile.
Ellen turned to Jacob with a more serious look, ‘What happened? Are you really alright? I don’t see why we shouldn’t call an ambulance, for God’s sake, you weren’t breathing! What if it happens again?’
‘I’m fine. Leave it.’ He glanced around compulsively, despite the fact that his heightened intuition told him Makash was long gone. By now, though, he would be aware of the fact that Jacob was still alive. It was a problem that Jacob, or Ioh, for that matter, would have to deal with, but not yet. He lay back on the grass trying to gather his strength.
Ellen stared at him with a strange look. Then her attention turned to Luca. The revelation of his secret St John training was a huge admission for him; one which his friends had greeted incredibly maturely, especially considering it had come from the most unlikely source. She wondered whether her next statement would be treated with the same open-mindedness.
‘I just had the weirdest experience, Jacob.’
Jacob didn’t move, but continued to contemplate the sky as threadbare white clouds drifted high across his vision. ‘I know,’ he answered simply.
‘What was it?’
‘It’s hard to explain.’
‘Please explain it. I need to know what’s happening to me. Why were all those voices in my head? Where did that feeling come from? How did I do what I just did? And it’s always you that makes it happen.’
Luca glanced from one to another, ‘Would someone mind telling me what’s going on?’
Jacob rolled onto his side and studied Ellen, meeting her questioning gaze. In her eyes he saw trust mingled with fear and confusion and wondered if the time had come to finally risk the truth.
‘Please, Jacob, I can’t go on like this. It’s too weird for me. Sometimes you’re in my head, sometimes you have this look… well, it’s like you’re someone else. You have weird illnesses, and today we find you pretty much dead. If that isn’t enough, I get sort of… it was like being possessed or something. I just want to know what is going on and I don’t think it’s a lot to ask.’
‘I’m not sure you’d believe me.’
‘You told me once you weren’t like other people and I already knew that. I’d believe you.’
Jacob felt more pain than he could bear at the thought of things he now had to do, ties he had to sever. And the notion that Dae could have been deceiving him in such a blatant and cruel way cut into his soul. For the shortest time he had felt so certain of his destiny but, once again, his emotions whirled in confusion. He was sure of one thing only, that he was needed, and at last he realised that he had never really intended to abandon his duty when the time came. And perhaps it was time for the truth, even if it sounded crazy, even if they didn’t believe him, perhaps it wouldn’t matter any more what Ellen or Luca thought of him because soon he would be gone from their lives forever.
‘I can’t explain it,’ he said slowly, ‘but I can show you.’ Jacob kneeled and pulled Ellen up with him. He took both her hands, locking fingers with her. They faced each other and Jacob leaned his forehead against hers. ‘Look at me.’
He held her with an almost frightening, fiercely penetrating look. She met his gaze and found herself falling, falling down into the never-ending depths of the wild grey-green of his eyes as if being pulled to the centre of the earth, rushing, her stomach dropping like a stone, her skin tingling with fear and exhilaration all at the same time. She felt as she had done once before, naked, vulnerable, as if the defences of the deepest parts of her soul had been breached and lay open for Jacob’s taking. She tried to screw up her eyes, unable to look into his any longer, but he had already connected and she couldn’t shut him out. Then the fear subsided and their minds fused.
Ellen saw what Ioh saw, flashes of his thoughts and memories, crowding into her consciousness, fragments of impossible knowledge, pictures of an unknown world. Then came the heartbreaking understanding: she knew who Jacob was, his purpose, his destiny, and realised that he would never be hers, had never been hers. Theirs had only ever been snatched moments in a borrowed life.
Jacob let go of her hands and they swung limply down at her sides. He fell away and studied Ellen as she swayed slightly on the spot, opening her eyes slowly. Her mouth started to move but no sound came out. There were no words to describe what she had just experienced. She looked at Jacob. His expression had become blank, he seemed disconnected, and Ellen suddenly felt he was somebody she didn’t know anymore.
Luca fidgeted uncomfortably, looking on in confusion, noting Jacob’s strangely distracted air.
‘Are you alright, mate? You feel ill again?’
Jacob shook his head.
Luca’s attention turned to Ellen. It was obvious that something had seriously freaked her out and he made an indecisive move towards her with the intention of putting an arm around her, shooting a glance at Jacob that questioned whether he was overstepping boundaries. Jacob turned away.
‘What happened?’ Luca asked Ellen, pulling her up to stand and folding her into his arms. She shook her head and buried her face in his shoulder.
‘Jake?’ Luca called. ‘Jacob, what’s going on?’
‘I have to go soon.’
‘Where… what do you mean? Sit down for a minute, we’ll walk you home.’
‘I don’t mean that.’
‘I don’t understand. Ellen, what’s the matter with him?’
Ellen lifted her pained face to Luca’s, ‘I can’t explain it to you, but he’s not like us.’ Then she whispered the word, aware of how mad it sounded. ‘He’s alien.’
Luca pushed her away. ‘Stop teasing me… you’re mental you two are!’
‘No Luca, I swear…’
‘She’s telling the truth,’ Jacob cut in, his voice dull, ‘I think you already knew it too.’
‘Ellen said before what I’ve been thinking; that there’s always something strange going on around you just lately. But that’s crazy, even I’m not thick enough to believe you are an alien. Weirdo yes, alien no. I do know something is going on, but see if I care if you don’t tell me.’
‘I have to go home.’ Jacob said slowly.
‘Walk yourself, mate. I’m sick of being Baldrick.’
‘No, home. My proper home.’
‘What, you found your real parents or something?’
Jacob smiled wryly, ‘Something like that,’ he paused for a moment, lost in thought. The colour of his eyes lightened as an idea occurred to him. ‘Luca, I can’t show you what I just showed Ellen, because… well, I just can’t. But I can do this…’ He plucked a long stemmed daisy from the grass and held it gently in the palm of his hand. Luca stared, his expression betraying the certainty that his friend had now completely lost it. ‘Come and look,’ Jacob urged, standing up.
Luca inched forward and peered at the tiny white flower as Ellen looked on. He watched and started back as it suddenly crumpled and died in front of him, shrivelling into the tiniest pile of brown dust. He stared up at Jacob in disbelief. Jacob gave a small, confiden
t smile. ‘Look at it now.’
Luca’s attention returned to Jacob’s palm. The daisy reformed, the tiny particles of dust morphing back into the shape of the flower and gradually returning to the collection of white and green living molecules that Luca had just watched Jacob destroy. Luca stared at his friend with his mouth open and then turned to look at Ellen who seemed to be unmoved by the remarkable event.
‘What’s that… magic or something?’ Luca asked in a small voice.
Jacob smiled, his eyes shining bluer still. ‘Not magic,’ he said, ‘magic is transient, fleeting. Something much more than magic…’
‘Do it again!’ Luca commanded like a three year old who had just seen a favourite uncle perform an entertaining card trick.
Jacob shook his head, ‘It’s not something to be taken lightly. I have to use it responsibly. Besides,’ he let the daisy drop and rubbed a hand through his hair, ‘I’m tired. I need a sleep.’
‘Sleep! How can you think about sleeping after all the weirdness of today?’ Luca exclaimed.
‘I have to. I have a busy time ahead and a long way to go.’ Then he murmured, almost to himself, as if he had forgotten the others were there. ‘They’re coming for me.’
Nineteen: Sweet Little Lies
They walked in silence for a while. Luca was bursting with questions but Jacob had withdrawn again and gave them short, terse replies. Jacob’s seemingly stubborn reluctance to provide any more information had eventually driven Luca into a sulk and so the silence continued. Ellen also found herself distracted, thinking ahead to the painful goodbye that was approaching too fast. Jacob had recovered his physical strength quickly but he was tired, soul-sick. Grateful as he was for all Luca and Ellen had done for him, he didn’t want to talk. He reached for Ellen’s hand absently as they negotiated the uneven ground side by side, Luca striding a little way in front. Her touch was comforting but at the same time filled him with melancholy; it reminded him that, maybe, this was the last time he would feel it.
