by Sharon Sant
‘Yeah, it’s just routine,’ Jacob replied with more certainty than he felt.
He sat in the waiting room next to his mum and dad and wished to be anywhere but there. Even though he knew it was the right thing to do, it made him miserable. For anyone normal the experience would be a trying one, but with his heightened awareness the gloom of those around pressed in on him, an added emotional burden that he could have done without. He tried to block it out, but there was too much concentrated in that tiny space. The room was stuffy and the smells of bleach and nylon coated his throat. He looked around at the pastel-painted walls and murals of chocolate-box villages that tried, vainly, to distract the minds of people who waited to hear their fate, or who already knew that their end was near, and it made him want to weep that he couldn’t save any of them. Phil tapped his foot against the leg of his chair and Maggie kept reaching for Phil’s hand, squeezing it briefly before dropping it again to fiddle with the clasp of her handbag.
‘Mr Lightfoot?’ the nurse called, smiling.
Jacob’s mum and dad got up together and clasped hands.
‘You want me to come in?’ Jacob asked, looking up at them.
Maggie exchanged glances with her husband. ‘I think you’d better wait here. We won’t be long.’
Whatever her motives were for leaving him there - good or bad – it was a rejection. He nodded and his head went down for fear of her seeing the hurt in his eyes. They disappeared into the clinical room together.
Whatever he had told Luca, he knew that his next actions were not entirely ethical and probably weren’t allowed. Falling into the dark abyss of his mind where Ioh’s power lay, he reached out for the thoughts of those around him, until he found the ones he was looking for…
The consultant had no feelings either way for the information he was giving to the man sitting before him. Years of this job had hardened his heart. He was working, and this was another patient. He was thinking of a meeting that he needed to get to on the other side of town shortly after his clinic had finished. There was a moment, a brief one, where a spark of sympathy caught as the man’s wife began to tremble. He liked her, she reminded him of his own wife. Ioh moved on…
Phillip Lightfoot’s mind was a whirling maelstrom of emotion: shock, defiance, resignation, profound sadness. The news that he was receiving was not something he was ready for. How had this happened? He had been so sure that his illness was fading, when instead its course had not been halted at all; a vile, creeping thing, it had been slowly eating him from the inside. He raged against the unfairness. There were people he did not want to leave behind - he was afraid, as much for them as for himself. He worried about his son, how could he be sure that Jacob would steer the right path in life with no father to guide him? Would his wife have enough money, would she be lonely when Jacob left home? Would she marry again?
As Jacob wrenched himself from the connection, he gripped the sides of the chair trying to calm himself. Did his parents know all along that things were this bad? His dad had told him that the prognosis was good, and Jacob believed him. Maybe because he so desperately wanted to. But then, the jolt that he just felt from his dad’s mind told him that the news was as much of a shock to him as it was to Jacob. As these thoughts teemed, his parents emerged from the tiny room and walked in silence towards him. If Jacob looked pale and distressed, Maggie didn’t comment. She simply held out a hand and beckoned him to follow as they left the department. They continued to hold hands in stunned silence as they waited for a taxi outside in the brilliant sunshine that seemed to exist to mock their sorrow, and Jacob didn’t care how it looked.
Maggie made tea in silence as they sat at the kitchen table. Nobody had spoken during the journey home. It was as if there was a silent acknowledgement that Jacob somehow knew what they knew, that there was no need to explain to him. She put out the mugs with a slow, deliberate action, like a robot responding to commands. Jacob dragged one across the table and cupped his hands around it, gazing into its depths. Finally, Maggie spoke.
‘How about a sandwich?’
Jacob looked up at her in disbelief. ‘Do you ever stop thinking about food?’
The comment seemed to suddenly reanimate his dad. ‘Don’t speak to your mother like that!’
‘But…’
‘I don’t want to hear it.’
Jacob gaped. He looked from one to another. Finally, he understood that they needed to deal with this as a couple before they could let him in.
‘I’ll be in my room if you want me,’ he said dully.
His mum’s gentle sobs echoed through his head as he climbed the stairs.
Jacob lay on his bed glaring at the ceiling, fighting the anger building inside him like a forest fire. It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair... He flipped over and punched the pillow again and again, beating out his rage.
Ioh…
The call came from far away, shocking him into silence.
I sense you are troubled. What has happened, Watcher?
There’s no point in discussing it; I can’t do anything about it anyway.
Nevertheless, please tell me. Trego’s voice softened. Jacob knew he was speaking not as an envoy of the Council now, but as a friend.
My father is dying.
We are all dying, Watcher.
See, I knew you’d be smart about it. Jacob grimaced, the resentment building again.
This is the man who raised you on Earth?
‘Yes, my father. The man who brought me up and loved me when my own people had abandoned me - that father.
You are angry right now, I understand that. Do not let it cloud your judgement.
To hell with judgement!
What would you have us do?
I want to cure him.
You cannot.
Trego, on Astrae you don’t care if people die, but it’s not like that here. We try to keep our loved ones with us for as long as we can. I know it doesn’t fit with your natural order, but sometimes the natural order stinks.
You’re wrong, Ioh, we care for our people on Astrae just the same; we mourn their passing as you do on Earth. But we do not tamper. However long a life-thread is at birth, that is how it must remain. Chaos comes from interference.
Yeah, well, maybe you should try chaos once in a while.
Watcher… Ioh, I feel your pain. You know that my own mother and father passed when I was but a boy.
And wouldn’t you have saved them? If you had my power, would you have let them die?
Trego’s hesitation was a fleeting, significant instant. The Watcher watches, and only intervenes if he must.
Jacob severed the connection without sending a reply. Trego was right, he was too angry to be rational right now and he knew it. He had spent the last two years trying to persuade the Astraen people of the good that could come from being a bit more human, as Dae had once hoped he would, but it had been to no avail. They were as stubborn in clinging to their outdated beliefs as ever. This was not the time to pick up that gauntlet again.
His phone rang and he pulled it from his pocket. Jacob rejected the call and threw the phone down on the bed. It rang again and he ignored it.
A minute later it rang again. This time he picked it up.
‘What?’
‘Hello to you, too,’ Luca’s voice replied.
‘It’s kind of a bad time.’
‘Sorry, mate, but I thought you’d want to know this…’ There was a pause.
‘Know what?’ Jacob asked.
‘I think I’ve found her.’
Five: To Save a Life
Jacob groaned as he read the headline:
Have you seen Alex?
‘As if it wasn’t hard enough to find her, she has to be a missing person as well.’
Under the circumstances, Jacob had decided not to ask Luca round to his and had quickly announced to his parents that he had to go out, to which, he had received a vague response. He was at Luca’s house now, settled in his cr
amped box-room, a room that never seemed to get any natural light no matter how sunny it was outside. The screen of his laptop threw a blue pallor over their faces as they hunched over it.
‘I can’t believe I’m looking at an actual alien,’ Luca remarked as he squinted at the grainy photo. Jacob shot him an incredulous sideways glance. ‘You don’t count, somehow,’ Luca explained sheepishly.
‘I can’t believe I’m looking at my sister,’ Jacob said. It was a curious feeling, one that he couldn’t quite interpret. He was staring at this girl, a stranger, yet someone who shared his blood, his DNA, who was almost as much a part of him as his very breath. He started to read the details out loud. ‘Alex Morrison… blah, blah, missing three weeks… last seen in Anaheim, California shortly after a liquor store robbery… police want to question her…’ Jacob ran a hand through his hair. ‘She sounds like a treat.’
‘Sounds like she got the raw end of the adoption deal,’ Luca remarked.
‘She can’t be my sister.’ Jacob shook his head, refusing to believe that this girl, seemingly so different from everything he was, could be the right person.
Luca inspected the photo again and then sat back observing his friend with an ironic expression. ‘Are you serious? Look at that photo. There’s no way she’s not!’
Try as he might, Jacob couldn’t deny the resemblance. Her hair was cropped almost as short as his, the same straw-blonde, same pronounced cheekbones, clear complexion, something uncanny in the eyes that you couldn’t quite drag yourself from…
He held his head in his hands. ‘All this searching and now that we’ve found her it couldn’t be worse timing.’
Luca put a hand on his shoulder. ‘What are you going to do?’
‘I don’t know,’ Jacob said. ‘I just don’t know.’
‘How long has your dad got?’
It was a stark question but Jacob appreciated that. Somehow, Luca’s asking it put everything into a more manageable context.
‘You’re right,’ Jacob said looking up. ‘I should get all the facts, see how long I have to sort each thing and then decide what to do.’
‘Your mum will go nuts if you tell her you’re going to America.’
Jacob opened his mouth to speak but then stopped; however he viewed it, there was no argument for Luca’s assertion.
‘Maybe I should go,’ Luca added, the idea aired as quickly as it was conceived. He looked shocked himself that he had suggested it.
‘You?’
‘I could look for her and let you know when I’ve found her so that you can come over and do the persuading bit. That way you might not have to be away from home for long.’
Jacob mulled over the idea for a few moments. It was tempting; it would certainly make his life easier. But he couldn’t ask his best friend to put himself in that sort of danger. Not only would Luca be travelling alone to a major city in a foreign country looking for the sort of girl who got herself involved in criminal activities, but there was the very real possibility that Makash was on Alex’s trail too. Makash would easily recognise him and would no doubt take great delight in his eradication. If anything, Luca needed to stay as far away from the situation as possible.
‘You’ve done enough for me finding her.’
‘That was easy,’ Luca said, ‘I was watching a film where there was a milk carton with a picture of a missing person on it, and it reminded me to check out the database. I can do more; I want to go with you.’
Jacob looked pensive. ‘Sorry, but no,’ he said finally. ‘It’s too dangerous.’
‘I knew you’d say that,’ Luca concluded with a grimace.
‘What would your mum say?’ Jacob reminded him.
‘You forget, my friend, that I am now Golden Boy Number One.’
Jacob frowned. ‘What does that even mean?’
‘Ever since I told her I was going to be a doctor, I can do no wrong. I tell her I fancy a short trip across the pond, she’s all like: Tutto quello che vuoi, mio piccolo genio! How much money will you need?’ He did a cheeky mimicry of this mother’s voice.
Jacob couldn’t help smiling. As Luca was the only boy and youngest of a family of seven children, he could picture her saying exactly that.
‘Besides,’ Luca continued, ‘how are you going to get there, with all that’s going on in your house right now?’
Jacob exhaled. ‘Even if I just told them I was going, I’d still have to physically get there. I certainly can’t see my mum being so free with air fare.’
‘You’ve got no money at all?’
Jacob shrugged. ‘I might have a bit in the bank in savings from before I left, but I doubt there’ll be much in there, even with two years of interest. I haven’t really thought to check until now.’
Luca pondered for a moment. ‘Can’t you do the beam-me-up-Scotty thing, like Makash does?’ he asked brightly.
‘You mean teleport?’
‘Yeah.’
Jacob shook his head.
‘Still can’t do it?’ Luca asked.
‘I dunno, I just never seemed to be able to master it.’
‘But I thought you had loads of power.’
‘I suppose it’s like people. Everyone is better at some things than others. And I’m just not very good at that.’ Luca raised his eyebrows. ‘I will be, one day,’ Jacob added defensively.
‘You mean like Ellen can paint and I’m totally rubbish?’ Luca asked.
The mention of her name brought a fresh stab to Jacob’s heart. The one person who could have helped ease his pain right now was the one who had cut herself from his life.
‘So we can count that option out,’ Luca said, breaking in on his thoughts.
‘It looks like it. I’ll think of something. Maybe the Council will help,’ he said with more conviction than he felt.
The Council had not wanted him to come on this mission in the first place and he felt that they had almost counted on his failure. Now that he had found his sister, he couldn’t imagine they would be that willing to help him bring her back to Astrae. That was assuming she wanted to go, of course, and there was no guarantee of that either. All that and he still had to get there before Makash. Thinking back on Ellen’s dream, he was more convinced than ever that she had had some kind of premonition. And if that were true, then she had also seen Makash, already stalking Alex as he had stalked Jacob once before. Jacob had been lucky to have a strong network of family and friends to support him in his denial of Makash, but if Alex had none of these to tether her… Jacob dared not think of the terrible decisions she might make.
Jacob lay on his bed mulling over all he had learned about Alex that afternoon, which was frustratingly little. Apart from the missing person information and some small amount of police evidence, she had not made much of an impact on the world. There was no social media, no medical records, incomplete school records, a small report from a care home - but nothing that would tell him much about the real her. He was brought out of his reverie by his phone bleeping the arrival of a message.
Can I come over?
What had changed Ellen’s mind? He tapped out a reply.
The house was still subdued and he had been sitting with his parents drinking yet more tea while they discussed with him what the news about his father meant. He hated feeling so helpless and rebelled against the decision from the Astraen Council that he couldn’t do anything about his father’s condition. Round and round his thoughts had whirred, looking for an answer to this, looking for an answer to the problem of his sister, until he was tired of thinking. Ellen’s text had given him fresh hope when he would have clung to the tiniest piece of driftwood in the waters of his despair. He waited for her to arrive, his mind racing and his stomach doing somersaults. Despite what he had told himself, he had not been able to accept that it was over between them.
Hearing the knock at the front door he leapt from his seat to get it.
Ellen had a faint blush of sunburn across her freckled cheeks and over her bare shoul
ders, her hair was piled messily on her head and secured with a pencil, and she had a smudge of paint down one of her arms. He smiled, his melancholy suddenly lifted.
‘I’m not staying long,’ she warned. Jacob took a step back as his hopes evaporated with those few words. ‘Luca told me everything. I wanted to see you how you all were.’ She glanced up the stairs. ‘But first, there’s something I need to give you.’
Without invitation she travelled the hallway and up the stairs to Jacob’s room, leaving him to follow. There, she closed the door and pulled out a wad of notes from the pocket of her jeans.
‘Luca says you’ve found her.’ Jacob nodded. ‘He says you’ve got no way to get there, though.’ He nodded again, and then his eyes widened when she handed him the bundle of money.
‘I can’t…’
‘Yes, you can. Take it and do what you need to do quickly. For God’s sake, get that girl up to Astrae so we can all get back to normal again.’
Back to normal… Did that mean she might be willing to give him a chance if he was able to get back for good?
‘Where did you get it?’ he asked, thumbing through the notes.
I’ve been saving. I sold some of my paintings, and I work a little here and there in the art supply shop in town.’
‘You need it, though…’
‘I do. I won’t lie, that’s my university fund you’re holding there.’
University. Another thing he had never considered. Not knowing what else to say, he asked: ‘Where are you going?’
‘I’d like to go to St Martin’s, if I could get in, of course.’ She gave him a tight smile. Despite the tension of the situation, he could see the bright hope in her eyes at the mention of her dream – it was a dream she thought worth fighting for. He crammed the money back into her hand.
‘I can’t accept this. It’s yours and you need it.’
‘You need it more. If I have to wait a while, it doesn’t matter. I have more time than you.’ She looked up into his eyes and they were blue. A dark, murky blue, but it was the first time she had seen blue there since he had returned. They stared at each other in silence, until she finally wrenched her gaze away.
