by Sharon Sant
‘You’re just going to let her go, then?’
Jacob glanced up at his friend, wondering whether to tell him about the prophecy. ‘I’ll never find her now.’
‘That’s what you thought two years ago. And you did.’
‘Yes, but then Makash hadn’t found her.’
The waitress returned with their drinks and they lapsed into silence until she left them again.
‘What are you going to do, then?’ Luca asked before taking a gulp.
Jacob reached for his glass and took a long draught himself before replying. ‘I just want to go home,’ he said in a dull tone. ‘At least until…’ his sentence tailed off.
Luca’s voice softened. ‘I know.’ He could guess what his friend was about to say. Jacob’s bond with Maggie and Phil was so strong; Luca saw how much the knowledge of Phil’s fate must be eating him up, even without everything else that was going on. For a brief moment, Luca had a startling, unexpected insight into the burden that Jacob carried, each and every day of his life. And he wondered whether a lesser man would break under it.
Jacob reached for his glass again and drained it, partly because he was so thirsty, but partly to hide the turmoil of emotions threatening to engulf him. He folded his arms on the table and rested his head on them.
Jacob was woken from his doze by the clatter of Luca’s plate being dropped onto the table. He bolted up, rubbing drool from his lip.
‘How long have I been asleep?’ he asked flattening his hair as the waitress left again with a disapproving look.
Luca shrugged. ‘Not long… couple of minutes, tops.’
‘Why didn’t you wake me?’
‘I dunno,’ Luca replied awkwardly, ‘you looked like you needed it.’
‘Don’t let me do it again. At least while we’re in public, no matter how tired I am. I need to be on my guard.’ Despite his instruction, Jacob wondered how much he’d be capable of doing to protect them both in his current state if the need did arise.
Luca shot him a wounded look.
‘How much money have we got left?’ Jacob asked, changing the subject. There was no way he was going to make it across town to the train station like this and he didn’t fancy trying it as the evening drew in; they had been warned by more than one person during their visits that tourists shouldn’t be out after dark. Jacob ran an appraising eye over Luca, whose hair was uncharacteristically greasy and who had a streak of brick dust down one side of his face. He reflected wryly that they both looked pathetic right now - nice easy targets.
‘Why?’ Luca said as he wrapped his hands around his mountainous burger.
‘I think, maybe, we’ll need to get that cab after all. I haven’t got much money left, though.’
‘Well… I suppose we’re not going to be staying much longer now, are we?’
Jacob shook his head, bitter memories of his recent failures spilling back. ‘There’s not much point really.’
‘So we can splash out a bit. I’d got enough to last another week or so, but if we’re not staying, then we may as well use it.’
Jacob expelled a huge sigh of relief and watched as Luca crammed the burger into his mouth.
‘Have some fries,’ Luca mumbled.
All he wanted was the welcome oblivion of sleep, but Jacob picked at the sides on Luca’s plate and tried his best to force some down, if only because he knew how crucial it was that he try to restore some of his lost strength. He had eaten very little for a few days now and every meal seemed to be harder to take as his stomach contracted daily. It seemed that the colour in Luca’s cheeks returned before Jacob’s eyes as he was restored by food and drink and a quiet seat for a while. As the light began to fade outside, Jacob caught sight of his hollow-eyed reflection in the windows. He wished he could get the same renewal from such simple pleasures, but there was a much deeper wound running through his soul right now, one that he didn’t think could ever be healed.
When he looked back, Jacob would never actually know how they made it across town to the station and back to Anaheim without him passing out. It helped that Luca had perked up enormously after his meal and did most of the work, Jacob following wearily in his wake as he negotiated cab drivers and ticket booths to get them back. Jacob lost count of the times Luca nudged him awake on the train, sometimes, Jacob felt, a bit too peevishly, but after his rebuke in the restaurant, it seemed that Luca was not going to let his friend nod off for anything.
Finally stumbling into the motel room, Jacob collapsed onto the bed, fully clothed, and fell into a dreamless sleep.
When Jacob woke the room was in darkness. He pushed himself up groggily, glancing across at the dim shape of the other bed. As his eyes adjusted to the gloom, he saw that Luca was not in it. Panic squeezed his throat.
‘Luca!’ he squeaked.
‘What’s the matter?’ Luca’s shadow appeared from the bathroom and he flicked on a side-lamp.
Jacob exhaled loudly, his relief palpable. ‘What time is it?’
‘Eleven thirty.’
Jacob fell back onto his pillow. ‘Is that all? I thought it was later. How can you still be awake?’
‘I didn’t wake till midday.’
Jacob paused, his confused brain working to figure out the logistics of this statement. ‘We only got back a few hours ago.’
‘We got back yesterday evening.’
‘Yesterday?’
‘You’ve been asleep ever since.’
‘You let me sleep all night and all day!’ Jacob rolled onto his side and stared across at Luca.
‘Well,’ Luca began in a mocking tone, ‘we weren’t in public…’
‘Very funny.’
‘You hungry?’
Luca picked up a huge box of brightly iced doughnuts from the dressing table and began tucking into one.
‘I suppose I am a bit,’ Jacob admitted. He pushed himself up and Luca passed him the box. ‘You look better.’ He glanced up at Luca as he took a bite of his cake.
‘Better than you, mate,’ Luca said. ‘I don’t know about a day’s sleep, you look as though you still need another week.’
Jacob watched Luca carefully. Whatever bravado Luca tried to show, Jacob could see that the events of the previous day had shaken him more than he cared to admit.
‘I’m fine,’ Jacob lied. ‘Another one of these and I’ll be right as rain,’ he said gesturing to the box. ‘What shall we do about going home?’
‘I’ll see if I can get online and book the tickets, there’s internet downstairs and a computer the guests can borrow.’ Luca paused. ‘You kept enough money back, right?’ he added.
Jacob nodded. ‘I think so.’
‘As long as you’ve got most of it, I guess I can lend you whatever you’re short.’
‘Thanks.’ It was a small word, but it meant so much more than that. Luca had done more for him, risked more than he would have ever dared ask for. There were no words strong enough to express his gratitude.
Luca seemed to sense the significance and he waved the recognition away. ‘Don’t worry about it.’
Jacob finished his second doughnut and forced himself up and off the bed. Part of him could no longer see the point in such actions; what was there to keep going for now that he had lost Alex? The future held only one of two things: at the very best loneliness - Makash and Alex would leave him to return to Astrae, a life lived without the people he loved. At worst he faced annihilation - the combined force of Alex and Makash could crush him in a heartbeat if they chose to, even with his Watcher status, and Makash would finally gain the power he craved.
‘I’ll go and get some drinks,’ Luca said. He pulled on his trainers and left to go down to the vending machine.
In Luca’s absence, Jacob made himself shower while a tempest of thoughts littered his mind, all of them tainted by bitterness, self-reproach and defeat. His body still damp, he pulled on some clean tracksuit trousers and went over to the mirror to drag a comb through his wet hair. He gazed at h
is reflection in the half-light from the lamps. In the gloom it was hard to decide what colour his eyes were. But the rest of him told the tale of his defeat just as well. There was an angry red welt at one of his wrists, a large black bruise lay across his chest, a smaller one at the top of his arm, scratches across his torso, and the same hollow expression that he had caught sight of in the diner the previous evening. He could heal his wounds, of course, but there was nothing he could do to fix that empty stare. His attention flicked to the amulet, glinting dully on his bare chest. A sudden impulse made him want to rip it off and throw it from the window; he wanted no part of Astrae now, no reminders of the absent parents that had cursed him with this life. He leaned forward and gripped the dressing table, trying to contain his anger.
His introspection was disturbed by Luca’s return. Instead of the canned drinks he usually returned with, he had two steaming mugs.
‘The girl behind the desk made us some tea,’ he explained, tapping a foot behind him to close the door. ‘I got chatting to her and she said loads of guests left stuff behind. She’d got some English tea so she offered to make some. I got you plenty of sugar too.’ He set the cups down on a side table and pulled a handful of sachets from his pocket. ‘I figured you needed it,’ he added, Jacob’s vacant stare suddenly making him feel awkward.
Jacob crossed the room and took a cup. He perched on the edge of his bed and cradled the mug in his hands, staring into its depths. Despite the heat still blowing through the lamp-lit streets of the city, the warmth in his palms felt comforting, it felt like a piece of an old life.
‘The room that has the computer is locked up now for the night.’ Luca broke in on his reverie. ‘We’ll have to sort the tickets out tomorrow.’
Jacob nodded and took a sip of his tea. He was vaguely surprised at how good it was. His mum had always made him tea at home when he hadn’t particularly wanted it – it was just one of those things she assumed he needed without asking him. But even though it drove Jacob mad, he knew she did it out of love. Tonight, it didn’t take him long to drain the cup. He set it down and pulled his knees up to hug them to his chest.
Luca put his down too and yawned. ‘That’s me done. Sorry, mate, but you’re sitting up on your own now.’ He disappeared to the bathroom to ready himself for bed. Jacob lay back on his own bed. There was no way he was going to be able to rest now, not in this mood, no matter how exhausted he still felt.
When Luca returned from the bathroom, Jacob was asleep.
Jacob shot up, his breath squeezed in his constricted throat. Something was overwhelmingly wrong, he could feel it. Squinting against the fabric-diffused light of the sun shining directly into their room, he took heavy breaths, trying to control the panic and order his jumbled thoughts into something meaningful. It hadn’t been a dream, but something had woken him in this way. His attention turned to Luca, who was now stirring on the opposite bed.
‘What time is it?’ Luca mumbled, reaching for his phone from the bedside table. He rubbed his eyes as he looked. ‘Weird. I have a gazillion missed calls off my mum.’
Jacob reached for his phone too, wondering whether there was a connection to explain his foreboding. He was annoyed to see that he had let the battery die at some point. It could have been days – he had been so obsessed with his quest that he had barely looked at it.
Luca sat up. ‘We’d better get sorted, I suppose. It’s gone two.’
‘Seriously?’ Jacob swung his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed his hands through his hair. ‘We should have set an alarm, now we won’t be able to fly today.’
Luca yawned. ‘You really need to learn that fading thing, you know.’
Jacob ignored the quip. It rankled more than he ought to let it, just another reminder of his shortcomings.
‘I’d better ring Mum, see what she wants.’
‘Won’t it be a bit early’ Jacob asked.
Luca did some counting on his fingers. ‘Nah, Dad will be getting up for work and she always gets up with him.’
Luca pushed himself up and went out to the balcony where the signal was better. Jacob could hear faint snatches of conversation as he took himself to the bathroom to splash some water on his face, trying to banish the last residue of weariness. He had to admit, even though the amount of time he had spent asleep irritated him, he did feel much better for it. When he returned to the room Luca was standing with the phone held in a limp arm at his side.
‘What’s happened?’ Jacob asked, his stomach lurching as he realised that he already knew what Luca was going to tell him.
‘They tried all yesterday to ring us,’ Luca began.
‘It’s bad.’ Jacob’s reply was a statement, not a question.
Luca nodded. ‘We need to get back as soon as we can.’
Eleven: Homeward Bound
Jacob threw everything he had into his suitcase and jammed the lid down before waiting impatiently at the door for Luca to finish his packing.
‘I still can’t see the point in just pitching up at the airport,’ Luca huffed as he raced to and fro gathering his scattered belongings. ‘We won’t get on a flight without booking it first.’
‘I’ve told you, we can wait there just the same as here. At least we’ll be on site if any seats become available last minute.’
Luca threw him a sideways glance. ‘Do you think that’s likely?’ he asked, spraying himself quickly before stowing the deodorant in his wash bag.
Jacob’s smile didn’t reach his troubled eyes. ‘You never know,’ he began carefully, ‘some England bound couple might decide to extend their stay in Los Angeles.’
‘A tad extreme?’
‘They’ll have fun, won’t they? What harm will it do?’
‘What about your rules?’ Luca pressed. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face Jacob as he felt his friend’s eyes bore into him.
‘Right now, the rules can go to hell.’
Luca couldn’t help but notice the slightly manic glint in his eye. He wondered how much more stress Jacob could take before he was finally tipped over the edge and lost it. One thing was certain, the idea of being anywhere near him if that happened was a frightening one. He could only hope that Jacob held it together long enough for them to endure the long flight and make it home before something bad happened to Phil; he dared not think of the consequences if they didn’t. Then again, he was just as anxious about the consequences if they did. Phil and Maggie were so dear to Jacob, in the fragile state of mind he seemed to currently inhabit, the fall-out of losing one of them did not bear thinking about. But that was exactly what they were heading home to.
At the airport, they made their way to the service desk to be told that the next two flights to England were full. It would mean they wouldn’t be able to leave until the following day.
Jacob stamped his foot, making the assistant jump. ‘Please, we have to get back.’
‘I’m really sorry, but there is nothing. I’d like to help you, but I can’t.’
Jacob could see that there was nothing he could do to alter it, even if he did try to influence her mind. Without another word, he left the desk and headed for the mounted screens displaying boarding information. Luca followed and watched him as he checked down the list until he noted flights that were headed for London airports.
‘Come on, this way.’ He nodded in the direction of a long set of corridors leading to a departure lounge. Luca followed, his worried frown growing deeper.
They weren’t allowed into the lounge as they didn’t have tickets to travel, but loitered at the entrance and scanned around for likely looking candidates amongst the passengers waiting to travel.
Jacob’s gaze fell on a family: harassed looking parents and two small children complaining loudly in what sounded like London accents.
‘I don’t want to go…’ the girl whined in a tinny voice. ‘We didn’t get to the fairy castle. I want to go to the fairy castle…’
‘Why can’t we go back to the hotel, Dad
dy?’ the boy agreed. ‘School is boooorrrrriiiinnnnggg!’
‘We have to go home sometime, Ollie,’ the woman replied in an exasperated tone. ‘Much as we’d like to, we can’t stay here for ever.’ She let out a huge sigh and hoisted her enormous travel bag onto a sunburnt shoulder.
‘Just one more day? Pleeaase…’ It was the girl’s turn to try again.
‘Shut up!’ the dad snapped. ‘For the last time, we have to go home.’
Jacob couldn’t help a small smile. He recalled a very similar conversation with his parents the first time they had taken him to a holiday camp in France, where he’d had such a great time he would have done anything to stay there with them forever. It wasn’t wrong, he reasoned with himself, it wasn’t underhand, he was helping them, he was giving them more family time. Holding on to that thought, he closed his eyes…
The man held up a hand to quiet the rabble, a slow smile spreading across his face. ‘Maybe we can do another couple of days.’
‘What?’ His wife spun round sharply.
He shrugged. ‘I’ve got my credit card.’
‘But… what about the plane?’ The woman’s mouth fell open.
‘So what? We can get another plane another day. It’s not like they’re all going to fall from the sky, is it?’
‘Well, what about work?’
‘I’ll call them, make some excuse, they can manage another day or two.’
She stood gaping, her face flushed and a picture of disbelief. The children looked as shocked, momentarily, and then erupted into a chorus of cheers. The man gazed down at them with obvious affection and pleasure at their reaction.
‘Come on,’ he rallied, shaking himself. ‘We’d better get these tickets exchanged.’
They began to walk away, the wife continuing to remonstrate loudly about how much more money it would cost for new tickets, where they would find a hotel at this time of year and other such practicalities.
