by Sharon Sant
‘Dad!’ Jacob moved his chair closer, rubbing at his eyes. ‘Hey, don’t talk.’
Phil coughed. ‘It’s good to see you,’ he continued in his broken voice, clearly pushing himself. He grabbed for Jacob’s hand. Jacob bit back tears; seeing him like this was killing him in so many ways. His dad squeezed his hand more tightly, dragging breaths before speaking again. ‘Promise me… you won’t do anything stupid.’
‘I won’t, Dad.’
‘Because it’s not worth it. I’m ready to go now.’
‘You’re not going anywhere,’ Jacob began, ‘you’re going to get through this –’
‘Listen, you’re not to do anything about me.’
‘I don’t know what you –’
‘Promise me,’ Phil interrupted. ‘Promise you’ll let it go…’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dad.’
Phil coughed again, a waterlogged sound, this time struggling for a while to get his breath back before speaking again in a low whisper. ‘Do you think all that you are has gone unnoticed? I know you, Jacob, and I know you have a wonderful life ahead of you. Please don’t waste it on me...’
Jacob drew back, his mouth working but no sound coming out. What did this mean? What did his dad know?
Thirteen: Chaos from Order
The sound of the door opening made Jacob spin around.
‘You’re awake!’ Maggie crossed the room and leaned over to kiss Phil on the forehead. ‘How’re you feeling?’
‘Like death,’ he replied, erupting into a weak, phlegmy chortle which turned into a coughing fit.
‘Stop doing that,’ warned Maggie as she stroked his forehead and waited for him to stop.
Jacob watched them, the questions that now crowded his mind increasing as he did. What about him, exactly, had been noticed? Was it just his dad or did his mum know too? Had Ellen told them or had they worked it out? He shook himself – this was crazy. What could they have worked out? Whatever his dad had meant, it couldn’t be as it seemed.
He rose from his chair. ‘I need some air.’
Maggie turned to him in surprise. ‘Are you alright?’
‘I’m fine, Mum. I’ll be back in a minute.’
Outside, the sun was low in the sky but the air was still warm, even though autumn was well on its way. Jacob headed for a bench under the shade of a spreading fir and overlooking a fragrant, manicured garden. The landscaping was new - Jacob could see that the beds had freshly turned soil with tight, neat bundles of flowers, still unspoilt by the elements and perfectly weed-free. Beyond the garden lay the car parks of the hospital, the sun glinting off the cars going to and fro that were filled with ill people, well people, those just born, those close to their end. On a bench further away, an old woman sobbed while a younger woman held her. Jacob mused on all that he saw, trying to work out what he was supposed to do. None of these people had a choice; they had to accept the hardships that life threw at them, no matter what. If he could offer them his power, just for one day to save their loved ones, every one of them would take it in a heartbeat. But did that make it right? What was he supposed to do? He fully understood why the laws governing his power were so strict; it would be so easy to abuse them. But if he didn’t use them to help the people he loved… Maybe Ellen was right, maybe there was no human left in him after all. His thoughts strayed to Alex. Another debt he owed. If he did this for his father now and it ended badly, how was he supposed to help her? He had promised that he wouldn’t abandon her. And what about the people he had sworn to protect, light years away and even now increasingly frightened of the void he had left behind. Not for the first time in his life he found himself facing an impossible choice. Whatever he did, someone was going to suffer.
When Jacob returned to the room his dad was asleep again. Jacob pulled his seat round next to Maggie’s.
She turned to him. ‘Are you alright now?’
‘I was going to ask you the same thing.’
She sighed. ‘I know it’s hard to see him like this, especially for you.’
‘Especially for me?’
‘Well,’ she began slowly, ‘you’ve never really had to deal with anything like this before.’
Jacob couldn’t help taking a moment to reflect on the irony of her words. She could never even begin to imagine what he had dealt with. ‘I’m ok, Mum. It’s Dad we need to worry about.’
She put a hand over his. ‘But I worry about you too. You always seem so… troubled.’
‘If you mean the thing with Ellen –’
‘No, not just that. I don’t know what it is. But it breaks my heart to see.’
Jacob reached over and hugged her. ‘You don’t need to worry. Whatever happens, I’ll make sure you’re ok.’
‘There you go again,’ she said, rubbing at her eyes. ‘I’m meant to say that to you.’ She pulled back to look at him. ‘I suppose I forget that you’re a man now.’
Two more days and nights passed. Jacob and his mum took turns to watch as his dad steadily faded. Phil came round every now and again, but each time his thoughts and words seemed less lucid, more confused. The medical staff were attentive, but Jacob knew that the care they gave was enough to ease his dad’s passing, nothing more. Ellen called when she could, in between trying to keep her own family afloat, and Jacob could see the strain on her face too. Luca phoned often, but Jacob felt it kinder to make him stay away - this was not something he needed to see.
Dusk had crept across the grounds of the hospital, the streetlights beyond just flickering gradually into full illumination as the sky grew darker. Jacob was nodding in his chair; his hair still wet having just taken a shower in the visitors’ facilities. He jumped as Ellen knocked and came in.
‘Sorry,’ she whispered. ‘I got you both coffee.’ She handed Jacob and Maggie a cup each and took a seat next to Jacob, glancing across at him with a tense smile. The conversation they had had three days previously had been carefully ignored since then, though it still seemed to hang between them, something tangible in the air.
‘Thanks,’ Jacob said, putting the cup down and stretching.
‘How is he?’ Ellen asked, inclining her head at Phil, who was sleeping again. His breaths seemed even more laboured than when she had last seen him, only twelve hours before.
Maggie stared without reply and Jacob shook his head slightly. Ellen didn’t need any further explanation. She turned to Jacob and opened her mouth to speak but then stopped, biting her lip.
‘I need a quick walk outside,’ Jacob said. ‘You want to come, Ellen?’ he added with significant stress on the request. She nodded gratefully. Jacob turned to his mum. ‘We won’t be long.’
She waved him away with an absent flick of her hand.
Out in the corridor, Ellen stopped in a quiet corner and pulled Jacob’s arm, speaking in a low, urgent voice. ‘What I said to you the other day… I’m sorry, I was wrong.’
‘No, Ell… you were so right.’ He glanced around, lowering his own voice. ‘Everything that was human about me is lost if I can’t save him.’
‘I can’t ask you to risk yourself like this and it was a stupid thing that I said… I don’t know, I was just upset, I think a lot of your mum and dad and –’
‘Dae always said I could be a new kind of Watcher, one that could bring a new era to Astrae, show them all that is good about being human. What if this was what he meant?’
‘I don’t understand…’
‘Perhaps it’s a test.’
‘Jacob, you’re not making any sense.’ She paused. ‘Please, for me, say you won’t do this.’
‘But I can do it. You said it yourself, I’m not bringing him back from the dead; I’m just healing him.’
‘But what about the natural order? You told me that when it’s someone’s time, you have to let them go.’
‘That’s what the Astraens believe.’
‘But you don’t?’
He ran a hand through his hair. ‘I don’t know what
I believe any more. But I know I can’t watch this happen without doing something. I’ve already failed Alex, I won’t fail someone else.’
‘Jacob… what if you die trying to do this?’
‘I won’t.’
‘You don’t really believe that, do you?’
‘I have to try.’
‘No!’ she said, struggling to keep her voice down. ‘Please, forget what I said the other day. Promise me you won’t interfere.’ She gripped his arm and searched his face for reassurance.
‘I can’t.’
‘Jake, please,’ she insisted, her eyes beginning to glisten.
He bit his lip and gave a short nod.
She hesitated again before continuing. ‘Will you have to go back straight away… after…?’
He shrugged. ‘I don’t know. There’s still Alex to consider. I made her a promise, one that I intend to keep.’
‘I don’t want you to go,’ she whispered, moving closer.
He stroked a hand down the length of her hair. He badly wanted to say the words that she needed to hear, but he would be lying. ‘We should get back to Mum.’
She nodded and let go of him. They turned back towards the ward together in silence.
His father’s breathing had seemingly deteriorated in the short time they had been away. Jacob sensed that the time was near. If he was going to do this, he would have to get rid of Maggie and Ellen.
‘Mum,’ he began carefully, ‘I think the nurse needed you earlier, something about putting arrangements in place for Dad’s discharge.’
Maggie looked up at him in surprise. ‘Discharge? I hardly think so. Are you sure?’
He nodded. Ellen narrowed her eyes but said nothing. ‘I think you should go and speak to her,’ Jacob said. ‘It’s the one with red hair, she’s still on duty.’
‘I’ll go later,’ Maggie said.
‘You might as well sort it now, while she’s still around,’ Jacob insisted.
Maggie hesitated, casting a glance down at Phil before finally coming to a decision. ‘I won’t be a minute,’ she said as she left the room.
Ellen stared hard at him. ‘Don’t think that’s going to work on me. I’ve been inside your head, don’t forget.’
Despite himself, he couldn’t help a small smile. ‘It’ll be fine, you’ll see. It’s not like I’m reversing death this time… just putting it off for a while.’
‘Jake,’ she began urgently, ‘I can’t let you do this… please…’
But he had stopped listening. He laid his palms on Phil’s chest and closed his eyes. Gradually, his breaths became slow and precise. Voices called to him but he shut them out. The darkest parts of his mind opened up and he searched for the withered heartbeat, the last breath now moving through his father, connecting, binding himself so that they became as one. His essence moved within like clean blood in poisoned veins. Jacob gave his life, his strength, everything that made him. Ellen watched him shudder, a hand clamped over her mouth. Jacob screwed his eyes tighter, his brow contracted in pain. His body glowed and he trembled as life flowed from him. His amulet seemed to burn brightest of all from beneath his shirt, until it blazed with a white ferocity so intense that Ellen had to shield her eyes.
The light from the amulet faded. Jacob dimmed and slumped over his dad’s chest.
Phil started to take deep, contented breaths. Jacob didn’t move. Just as Ellen’s fear threatened to overwhelm her, he slowly lifted his head.
She stared at him vacantly.
‘You’re ok?’
He nodded slowly, drawing himself up to sit. He looked woozy but otherwise unaffected.
Her expression lit into one of pure joy. She rose from her chair to kiss him…
Then he convulsed. She leapt to catch him but he collapsed sideways to the ground before she could get there.
‘Jacob!’ she cried, her joy suddenly turned to panic. Dropping to her knees, she lifted his head to cradle it in her lap. ‘Jacob…’ she whispered stroking his hair. ‘Don’t you dare…’
He opened his eyes but they wouldn’t focus. He was freezing cold. Everything around him looked grey and grainy, like a photo taken at night with the wrong flash. The world seemed to be moving away from his reach. ‘Ellen?’ he croaked, trying hard to see her face. ‘Is he ok?’
‘Yes,’ she said, tears now spreading dark pools on his shirt. ‘Yes, you did it.’
‘Good,’ Jacob breathed, ‘that’s good.’
‘Don’t leave me,’ she sobbed as he closed his eyes. ‘Don’t you dare leave me now…’
But Jacob could no longer hear her.
The Young Moon © Sharon Sant
E-edition published worldwide 2013
Kindle edition copyright Sharon Sant
All characters and events featured in this publication, other than those clearly in the public domain, are entirely fictitious and any resemblance to any person, organisation, place or thing, living or dead, or event or place, is purely coincidental and completely unintentional.
Not of Our Sky
Book Three of the Sky Song Trilogy
Sharon Sant
NOT OF OUR SKY
Sharon Sant
Kindle Edition Copyright 2013 © Sharon Sant
All rights reserved
No part of this e-book may be reproduced in any form other than that in which it was purchased and without the written permission of the author.
Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
www.sharonsant.com
For Kath, for a lifetime of friendship.
For Louise and Jane, who read the terrible drafts.
For my family, who ate the terrible dinners.
For everyone who ever said they believed in me.
One: Frozen
A gentle rain pattered at the windows as Ellen gazed out onto the leaf-strewn lawn. Her sigh misted the pane and she rubbed it clear again, watching with a distracted air as the wind picked up the russet debris of autumn and caused it to dance across the garden in vibrant eddies. A deep voice broke in on her thoughts.
‘I thought you’d have gone home by now.’
‘Phil!’ she spun round to face him. ‘I wanted to wait for you. What did they say?’
‘Same as last time,’ he said, taking his seat by the side of Jacob’s bed. ‘The tumours are all shrinking fast.’ He gave a small, ironic smile. ‘They keep telling me what a miracle it is, asking me lots of questions about any changes in my lifestyle that could have caused it. There’s one consultant in particular who seems to think he might be on for the Nobel prize.’ Phil’s gaze fell on the prone form of his son in the bed before him. ‘I wish he hadn’t done it, though.’
‘I’m sorry… it’s my fault –’
‘Ellen, sweetheart, we’ve been through this,’ Phil cut in. ‘You know as well as I do that when Jacob gets an idea, he won’t be swayed. I just wished I had said something to him about his… gifts sooner. Perhaps I could have stopped this before it started.’ He paused, his look distant. ‘I suppose we just didn’t believe the evidence, even when it was right before our eyes.’ He shook himself. ‘Where’s Maggie?’
‘She went to the shops… wanted to get some hazelnut spread or something…’ Ellen hesitated, and then added in a quiet voice, ‘she said it was for when he wakes up.’
Phil sighed and looked at Jacob. That didn’t seem very likely. Two months had seen no change in his condition. Anyone not in possession of the facts who happened to see him now would assume he was sleeping. He didn’t look like someone close to death; no hollow-eyed grey pallor, no bones poking from beneath cadaverous skin. He looked healthy - still tanned from the time he had spent in California two months previously, his cheeks still smooth and slightly flushed, his breathing deep and regular. There were other weird things about his current condition too; his hair hadn’t grown, nor had his nails. Maggie and Phil paid for a nurse to come in twice a day to feed him through a tube; despite doing this, they suspected it would make little
difference if they didn’t. It was as though he was in some sort of suspended animation. Of course, eyebrows had been raised when the Lightfoots had insisted on caring for him at home but, in the circumstances, Phil and Maggie couldn’t see what point there was in him staying in hospital. There was no medicine for what ailed their son.
‘You should go; you’ve been here all day.’
Ellen stretched and checked her watch. ‘I suppose I should, I’ve still got the boys to get sorted before I go to Luca’s.’
‘Ah, the big party tonight.’ Phil smiled. ‘Give him our best, won’t you. We would come only…’
Ellen waved away the explanation. ‘He understands. I think, if anything, he feels bad that he’s even having a party, but his mum wouldn’t hear of putting it off.’
‘She has a lot to celebrate, I don’t blame her.’ He glanced down at Jacob. ‘We’d be doing the same thing. It’s not every day you turn eighteen.’
Ellen gathered her things. ‘At least he managed to talk her out of the village hall. Should be pretty quiet at his house.’
Phil raised his eyebrows. ‘With his sisters?’
Ellen’s laugh rose, a musical tinkle that felt like the first genuine one for a long time. ‘Ok, you might have a point there.’
By the time Ellen had pushed open the gate to Luca’s house, the gathering inside was already noisy enough to be heard from the street. She smiled to herself and rapped at the door. As it was opened she was pulled into a hug by Luca’s vivacious mother, who kissed her enthusiastically on both cheeks.
‘Ellen, darling, I’m so glad you decided to come.’ She pulled away and appraised Ellen’s outfit - a simple combination of her favourite skinny jeans and a black lace top. ‘Bella, as always,’ she said approvingly. ‘Gianluca is in the kitchen.’
Ellen followed her through the house to the kitchen at the back. The dark wooden units were littered with photos depicting a chubby-faced Luca at various embarrassing points of his childhood and balloons filled every corner. She searched the crowd, far bigger than she would have ever believed could have fitted into this room. Heat and sound, snatches of conversation – rapid Italian mingled with equally rapid English - filled the space, overlaid by music, something traditional and Italian, as far as Ellen could tell, though it was difficult to hear over everything else. Ellen spotted Luca, cornered by a shouting old man who was trying to push a glass of some unidentifiable liquid into his hand with a promise it would make him a man. She couldn’t help a broad smile. She wavered for a moment wondering whether to interrupt. Mrs Valvona gave her a pat on the arm and then moved gracefully away to continue in her hostess capacity. Ellen watched her glide across the room. Seven children later and in her fifties, she was still beautiful. These were the memories she would always carry of Luca’s mum - never happier or more radiant than when she was entertaining. If things had been different, perhaps she would have liked becoming part of this family… she shook the thought away. Things were different, and there was no going back.
