“I think I prefer getting shot.”
“Oh,” she said, sounding disappointed, “That bad, huh?”
“Indescribable. It was like I could see the moment life left him and he just toppled over.” I shuddered and looked out the window. She didn’t ask any more questions the rest of the way.
Miranda couldn’t find parking anywhere near Dominic’s parents house. She parked two blocks over and we walked through the South Philly neighborhood. While Dom lived in a brand new, contemporary condo, his parents were old school. Their brick row home was sandwiched in between other brick row homes. The white aluminum awnings over the windows were identical to their neighbors. It was hard to tell the homes apart. We could hear the people inside the house before we saw them.
“Geez, everyone seems to be here,” Miranda muttered as she opened the door. Voices tumbled out onto the small porch and Miranda wedged her way into the crowd, I followed close behind. The Grabanos had turned out in full force for Dom’s homecoming. I recognized about half of the people pressed into the two front rooms. Careful not to jostle my shoulder, I used my good arm to elbow through. Aunt Gloria spotted me first.
“Natalie!” she cried and bulldozed through to reach me. She pulled me into a hug and I winced as my shoulder connected with hers. She heard me hiss and pulled away quickly. “I am so sorry! Did I hurt you?”
“I’m fine,” I assured her.
“Natalie dear, I am so glad you and Dominic are safe! What an ordeal. And you, quite the heroine I hear!” she beamed. “Are you hungry? Franco and I brought plenty of food.” She ushered me into the dining room. The large table was laden down with every imaginable pasta dish, fresh baked rolls, antipasto and my favorite, eggplant parmesan. Aunt Gloria grabbed a plate and started piling on heaping spoonfuls of food. She shoved the plate into my hand.
“I’ll be right back hon!” She spun around and disappeared into the kitchen. I stood there holding the plate in my only fee hand. There wasn’t anywhere to set it down, so I just stood there awkwardly. Angela, Dominic’s mom, spotted me and came over next. Angela moved in a very controlled manner, almost subdued, the exact opposite of Gloria who buzzed around in fast forward. Angela took the plate from my hand.
“My sister…she’s been on a mission to feed the world since I can remember,” she chuckled quietly. “It’s a good thing she married a chef.” Angela regarded me with her deep brown eyes. “Are you ready to go see my son?” she asked. I’d only met Angela a few times and she always referred to Dom as ‘her son’ around me, almost possessive in a way. She hadn’t warmed up to me the way her husband had. I nodded.
“Follow me.” I followed her into the kitchen, where she set the plate of food on the counter. She went through a separate doorway and up the stairs. We walked into Dominic’s childhood bedroom and I instantly looked to the bed. I was surprised to find it empty. Confused, I surveyed the rest of the room and found Dominic sitting in a chair by the only window.
The sun filtered in through the window and accentuated the shadows under his eyes. Like me, he had lost weight. His usual olive toned skin was pale. Dominic’s face lit up when he saw me and I hoped my face mirrored his emotions. Truth was I was feeling nervous and shy. What if he sensed I was pulling away? I forced the uncertainty to the back of my mind as I crossed the room. He reached out for my hand. I looked down into his eyes and saw that the same spark was there. He may look pale and weak on the outside, but internally he was healing. Angela silently left the room and shut the door behind her. We were alone.
“Hey you.”
“Hey.” I squeezed his hand.
“God I’ve missed you. How are you doing?” he asked, glancing at my sling.
“I’ve missed you too and I’m getting better each day. It still hurts, but I wasn’t hurt nearly as badly as you,” my voice started to crack. “I thought you were going to die!” Tears spilled down my cheeks. Damn it, why did I have to care so much? Leaving would be so much easier if my heart wasn’t invested.
“Hey I’m fine. I didn’t die. Don’t worry.” He pulled me onto his lap. I protested at first, afraid of hurting him, but he hushed me. “Babe my neck and chest got shot, my lap is fine.”
“Are you sure?” I held his gaze.
“Positive. In fact, having you on my lap might do me some good,” he winked at me. Yeah, he was feeling better. I shot him a look and gently rested my head against his chest, comforted by the sound of his strong heartbeat.
“So, what were you up to while I was unconscious?”
“Nothing really, Grant’s been checking on me. He actually helped give me a bath – it was horrible!” Dominic started to laugh but cut it short. His face pinched up in pain. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, it just pulls when I laugh.” He touched the giant gauze pad that was taped to his neck. “I’m sorry you had to be there – had to experience a shooting. I should have been more careful.”
I looked down at my lap, not quite sure what to say. Then Marco came barging into the room and our moment together was disrupted.
“How’s my favorite nephew?” he boomed. Then he saw me. “Natalie, so glad you’re here. Thank you for saving my boy,” he clamped his hand down on Dom’s shoulder and I saw him flinch. He regarded my injuries briefly before turning back to his nephew. I was forgotten as Marco dominated his attention and the entire atmosphere. Dom looked past Marco’s shoulder and mouthed “sorry.”
“It’s okay” I mouthed back.
“Love you,” he said.
“Love you too.” I turned and left the room. The sadness formed a lump in my throat and gallon sized tears started to pour down my face. I ran to the bathroom. Was it wrong for me to leave him like this? I knew that had he been given the chance to say goodbye, he would have used it to convince me to stay. I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough to deny him. I was glad Marco arrived at the end. Seeing him was a reminder of why I needed to leave.
I managed to get myself under control. With a heavy heart and puffy eyelids, I made my way back downstairs. The volume of so many conversations being held in one area was deafening compared to the quiet of Dom’s room. Miranda saw me coming down the stairs and met me at the bottom.
“Ready to go?” she asked. I nodded. More family had arrived and we squeezed our way through the boisterous crowd. I followed her out the door and to her car, too numb to pay any attention to where we were going. I probably would have wandered around for hours trying to find the car, had I been left alone. “Why do you look so devastated? Did you guys have a fight or something?” Miranda asked as she pulled the car out into the street.
I flipped the visor down and looked in the mirror. Yikes, I thought to myself, and attempted to wipe away the rivers of mascara, but only succeeded in smearing them across my cheeks. “No, we didn’t have a fight. It was very emotional seeing him again.” My tone was harsher than I had intended and I felt bad, but Miranda kept to herself for the rest of the car ride and I appreciated the silence.
My laundry was ready at the concierge desk and one of the staff helped me up to the front door. Perfect timing, I could pack the rest of my clothes. It was Saturday and I planned to leave Monday, right after my morning follow up appointment with Dr. Russo. I would be gone by the time Dominic arrived.
Something rubbed my head. I groaned and moved away. Next something was tickling my ear, I tried to swat it away, but my arm was in a sling. The little bit of movement sent a shooting pain down my arm. I woke with a jerk. Grant leaned over the back of the sofa looking down at me and laughed.
“You’re such a shithead!” I growled at him.
“I called your name. Man, you were out cold.” I glared at him. I didn’t remember falling asleep. I remembered sitting on the sofa to watch a movie and that was it.
“What time is it?”
“After six, I’m on my way to work and thought I’d check on you. You didn’t answer your phone.”
“Wow, I really was out.” I stretched my legs out and yawned
.
“Do you need anything while I’m here?” Sleep still clung to my brain like a fog and I had to think about it.
“I think I’m all set. Thanks bro!” I gave him a goofy grin and he smiled back.
“You’re such a dork,” he said and bipped me upside the head.
“Hey, that’s not fair. I’m defenseless,” I gestured to my sling. He rolled his eyes at me.
“I’m going to head to work then.”
“Have fun. Don’t worry about checking on me later. I’ll be fine and will probably be asleep.”
He left and I went to fix something to eat. The morning with Dominic weighed heavily on my mind and he stayed in my thoughts while I gathered up more things to pack. My new cell phone was charging on the dresser and the instructions to the Garmin were strewn across the bed. I crawled into bed to read them, but wound up thinking about everyone I was leaving behind. Sneaking around behind their backs and not saying goodbye to their faces haunted me. I imagined my mother would feel abandoned and betrayed. Grant would be angry and then extremely worried. Miranda would probably react the same as Grant. And Dominic…I didn’t know how he would react. Hurt? Betrayed? Sad? Or would he be angry for a little while and then move on? It hurt to think about and I started to cry, which turned into big, heaving sobs.
Once again I slept. Violent images flitted across my REM cycle, disturbing and graphic, but not lasting long enough for me to wake up screaming. My cell phone ringing woke me up instead.
“Hello?” I answered my voice rough with sleep.
“Hey baby, it’s me,”
“Hey,” I yawned. My eyes burned from the tears and slumber. I looked at the clock, it wasn’t even midnight yet. My schedule had been completely thrown off since the shooting.
“Sorry about earlier. I wish Uncle Marco hadn’t interrupted.” His voice was soft and soothing. I didn’t realize until I heard it, how much I had missed the sound of his voice.
“I’m sorry too.”
“Can you come by again tomorrow?”
“I don’t know. I’ll try.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Do you have other plans?” His tone was harsh, almost full of contempt.
“Grant or Miranda has to drive me around and I don’t know if they’re available,” I explained.
“So take a cab, I’ll pay for it…or I can come home early!” He sounded more excited at that idea. I had to stall him.
“No, I’ll come see you. I think your mom would like you home a little bit longer. She was really worried about you.” This seemed to appease him and he lightened up.
“What are you wearing?” he asked. So this was going to be one of those calls. That would explain his impatience.
“Unbelievable, Dom. Just two days ago you were practically in a coma and now you’re horny?”
“I’ve had time to rest up. Ya know, recharge the old battery.” His voice was husky now. I couldn’t help but laugh at him. “What are you laughing at? Although I can picture the way your skin flushes when you laugh and your breasts jiggle just the slightest bit, making your nipples harden…” He started to breathe heavy. I gave in. He was too irresistible and this was going to be our last intimate time together. I could at least leave him satisfied.
I woke up Sunday morning with the deadline looming. I was basically ready, except the letter to Dominic had yet to be written. Dr. Russo said I could take the sling off periodically and for longer periods each time. If I was going to drive to his office, I needed to get my arm used to motion. Sunday mornings were a good time to drive in Philadelphia. Traffic jams didn’t exist, unless the Phillies were in the World Series. My car was waiting for me when I got downstairs. I put one of my suitcases in the trunk then slid in behind the steering wheel.
It had only been about a week since I had driven, but it felt like a year. The gear shift seemed foreign to me when my weakened arm shifted it into drive. I drove around the block then three blocks and on until driving was comfortable again. It might take more breaks than usual, but I would make it California.
I pulled into Jiffy Lube and got the oil changed. The last item on my list was the letter to Dominic and I knew that had to be done tonight. I promised Dom I’d visit and dreaded having to look him in the face again. Still feeling confident behind the wheel, I drove to Dom’s parents. I found a parking spot right out front.
Angela answered the door.
“Hi. Dom asked me to visit today.” She stepped aside to let me in. The house was so quiet compared to the day before – and spotless.
“He’s upstairs,” she said. Angela and her sister Gloria were exact opposites. Gloria never hesitated to give a hug and Angela remained distant, more reserved. She wasn’t mean to me, but she didn’t get too close. I had a feeling that she and my mom would get along great. Sometimes I would catch her looking at me, regarding me with what looked like sympathy on her face. She looked that way at me now. “Do you remember where his room is or would like me to take you up?”
“I remember. Thank you.” I walked up the stairs and past the family portraits that lined the staircase wall. His door was closed so I knocked lightly before turning the knob. Dom was sleeping. His heavy breathing could be heard across the room. I crept over to the bed and curled up alongside him. He woke up then and smiled when he saw it was me.
“You made it.” I nuzzled closer, enjoying the smell of him. He had been gone so long that his scent had faded from our sheets.
“I’m here.” He squeezed me and kissed my forehead. We lay there in the silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company.
“Hey Dom, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Your mom…I can’t figure her out. She looks at me weird – it’s hard to explain – but, it’s like she’s sad for me or something.”
“She probably is. My mom has never liked the mafia life, but it’s what she grew up around and she loves her family,” he paused and looked down at me. “She probably sees you struggling with this too.” He caressed my injured shoulder.
“You haven’t thought about leaving again, have you? Especially with the shooting and all?” My body tensed up. Why was he so damn perceptive?
“No.”
“Good. I’m glad I got my first bullet wounds out of the way. Now I know what to expect.”
“Your first?”
“Yeah, these won’t be the only ones. My dad, he was shot four times and Uncle Al‘s been shot a couple times, but Uncle Marco has the luck. He’s been shot at seven times and only hit once. He’s a legend…” Dom dozed off, midsentence, like a drunk. I lay there watching him sleep. My arm draped up over his head and I played with his thick hair. I knew that my decision to leave was the right one. I couldn’t deal if he got shot again, especially if the next time was fatal. I slipped out from under Dom’s arm and managed to get off the bed without disturbing him. Just as quietly as I had entered the room, I left. Before walking out the door, I turned and blew a kiss.
I found Angela in the kitchen making lasagna. “I’m leaving now,” I announced.
“Good.” Wow, that was rude!
“Excuse me?”
“Leave. Get out while you still can,” Angela set the serving spoon down and looked at me. “If you stay, you will grow roots that will be imbedded here and you will never leave.” Her eyes looked haunted and I’m glad Dom had explained her history to me, otherwise I would probably think she was nuts.
“I’ve been planning to leave,” I admitted. She looked relieved when I said this.
“When?” I hesitated and she sensed it. “Let’s sit.” She gestured to the dining room table. We sat down and I still didn’t know if I should tell her. “Natalie, I wish I could turn back time and make a different choice. I don’t regret the love and I wouldn’t trade my children for anything, but if I could go back to when I was eighteen, knowing what I know now, I would have run. I see myself in you.”
“I’ve made my choice and I am leaving. After the shooting
…I just can’t do it anymore.”
She nodded, understanding. “When I got the call that my son had been shot, well, that was my worst fear coming to reality. Thank God he survived. A parent shouldn’t outlive their child. And Rico too, I’m always on edge waiting for the next call.” Her eyes glistened with tears and she smiled faintly at me. “When do you plan on leaving?”
“Tomorrow, after my appointment with Dr. Russo. I need to do it before Dom gets home otherwise, I’m afraid I won’t be able to.” Once again she nodded in understanding.
“Where will you go?”
“I have a plan and hopefully it works out.”
“Do you have enough money?”
“I think so.” Angela stood up and walked over to the hutch. She grabbed a small ceramic jar and fished out a wad of bills. She handed the money to me.
“I don’t know how much is there, but every little bit helps.”
Stunned, I took the money. “You don’t have to –“
She cut me off. “I want to help, Natalie. Go, start over,” she smiled a conspiratorial grin. “I’ll stall Dom as long as possible so you can get a good head start. Don’t worry about him, he’ll be fine. He’s a Grabano,” she added, as if that explained everything. “Go and don’t look back.”
I stood up and she walked me to the door. “Thank you,” I whispered, the tears in my throat were constricting my vocal chords.
“I wish someone had done the same for me,” she said, a wistful look in her eyes. She hugged me then and this time it reminded me of her sister, Aunt Gloria’s hugs. Maybe they were more alike after all. “Be safe.”
I walked, well floated to my car. Being able to tell someone my decision, and have it reinforced, lifted the tremendous weight I had been carrying. Now, I felt almost buoyant. I was going to be okay, Dom was going to be okay. It had felt like my world had been imploding around me, but I could see that reconstruction was possible.
Chapter 33
After packing the last of my belongings and taking a long, hot bath I was ready to write Dom’s letter:
The Beautiful People (The New Mafia Trilogy) Page 27
