by Kiki Leach
“Are you certain?” I asked teasingly.
“Yes.” He caressed my face, and then knit his brows. “I’m curious of something.”
“What?”
“Would I have had you on our wedding night?”
I stopped and stared directly at his face. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I fear I would have.”
I grimaced in bewilderment. “You’re afraid you would’ve had me as you desired?”
“Yes. I need to know--”
“Why? If your current hope is me keeping my promise, what does it matter now?”
“Your promise aside, it matters very much to me, Cinder. Because had I not gone to do my father’s bidding, had I not fallen from my horse.” He moved his head about and glared. “I fear that it wasn’t worth it. And I feel as if I should be further punished for choosing to prove myself to the king, rather than rebuking his demands and staying inside the palace, satisfying you on our wedding night, our first night together, until you begged me to stop with tears in your eyes, a quiver between your thighs, and a starkness finally fulfilled within your heart.”
I wanted to faint.
“Norvack--”
“That night was meant to be for us, for you and I to finally come together as one. I wish to know if I would’ve had you then, because if I could have and squandered such a chance to finally receive what I’ve always wanted in favor of what I felt I needed in achieving recognition within the monarchy, I fear I may be more like my father than I ever believed possible.”
His words hit me hard, like a sledgehammer against brick. A sudden pain filled my chest and I got up from the bed again, taking the compress and placing it back into the bucket. I looked back at him in the mirror, watching as he eyed me with wonder and dread at my answer. And then I dropped my head, thinking. I couldn’t explain what I was feeling. But I knew that after all he had been through, the last thing I wanted was to see him punished any further. I couldn’t blame him for his choices that night, as I felt the blame lied more with his overly demanding father, whom he only tried to please.
Would I have given myself to him that night? There wasn’t a single doubt in my mind that had he come to me instead of going to battle, I would’ve unwrapped myself before him and presented my body as a single gift waiting beneath a Christmas tree on a cool winter night. I would’ve pressed my bare skin against his until neither of us could breathe, kissed him until our lips swelled, and made love to him as if it were our last night on earth together.
But he couldn’t know that, lest he continue to blame himself for his father’s actions.
“No,” I finally said. I turned and cocked my head, smiling a little. “I don’t believe I would’ve succumbed to you that night. Had you come to me, I would’ve debated. But, in the end, no.”
It was silent for a moment until I heard him shifting against his pillows.
“I need to place this compress on the back of your neck, and check your wounds. Lean forward.” I walked back over and sat the compress near his book. I wrapped my arms around his back, helping him to properly sit up.
He slipped his arms around, holding me as close as he could and pressed his face into me, drawing in a deep breath. I shuddered against him. “You’ve changed your mind, yes?” He licked and nibbled my throat. I dropped my fingers to the center of his back and slightly dug my nails into his skin. “Cinderella,” he whispered against me. “I could never love anyone as much as I love you.” I sucked in air and immediately pushed myself away. I reached for the compress but he clutched my hand before I could grab it and placed it atop his heart. “Do you feel that?” he said. I nodded timidly. “It’s yours, always.”
His heart beat emphatically against my fingers. I moved them over a bit and looked to the side. “Your wound seems to be healing much better than I thought.” I slid my hand down his smooth chest, slightly caressing every inch of him that I could, and rested at his solid stomach. He hadn’t failed to notice my taking advantage of this moment and slipped his hand beneath mine, entwining our fingers. I looked down at our hands and bit my lip as he caressed me. He kept his eyes focused on my face. “You’ve never loved anyone else?” I asked. “Not once, even when you were away?”
“Never.”
“But it’s not as if you went to bed alone every night.”
“No.” He crinkled his brows and removed his hand from mine, placing it beside him on the bed. He looked down for a moment, and then back into my eyes, and leered. “Have you ever been in love, Cinder?”
“You’re convinced I’m in love with you.”
He chuckled a little. “Yes. But I meant, did you fall in love while I was away?”
“Are you joking?”
“Not this time, no.”
I thought for a quick second and shook my head. “I’ve never been close enough to anyone to ever fall in love with them, Norvack. It’s partly why the love you claim to have for me puzzles me so.”
“Why?”
“Because you have spent most of your life admiring me from afar, never truly knowing or understanding me until now. Am I in fact all you expected of me?”
“Yes. And then some.”
“And then some.” I got up from the bed and crossed the room, traipsing to the bay window.
He groaned. “I meant it as a compliment.”
“I know,” I reassured him. “But you have to understand that when you first told me of your feelings, I was in absolute shock. I was in such disbelief, I didn’t know whether to kiss you or slap every taste from your mouth for it. Frankly, it wasn’t until our wedding day that I truly believed you loved me. I thought I was so sure before, but that day was so different from the others.”
“What were you so frightened of then?” he asked.
I whirled around, facing him. “What do you mean?”
“As the priest went on? That day was different. I could tell you were frightened, but I couldn’t understand why. Were you still so afraid to marry me, or were you concerned regarding my brother?”
I exhaled sharply. “Both. As he kept going on and on, I feared I would crack and say something I regretted. I’m grateful that you managed to keep the sheriff away, but I still feared as if your priest somehow knew the truth and was needling me in his place. It wasn’t until it was over that I felt somewhat human again, somewhat normal. Despite surrounding circumstances.”
“Speaking of the Sheriff, I was told he was here.”
I frowned. “By whom?”
“A member of my father’s court.”
I threw out my hands. “Wonderful.”
“Why was here? Did he ask to see me?”
“No, he wished to speak to your father. I informed him of the king’s absence and that he would return tomorrow.”
“And will the Sheriff join him?”
“I don’t believe so, no.”
He puckered his brows. “Come back to me and sit.” I did as he asked and he raised his head. “What have you done, Cinder?”
“What?”
“You’ve done something… and the cuts are not from the gardens. There’s a certain tone to your voice when you lie, similar to the twitching of your lip, which also occurred as you spoke. You hardly noticed, but I did almost immediately. Your voice deepens a little, becomes sharp and straight to the point. When you’re telling the truth, you stammer, stutter. It’s as if you’re trying to lie, but the words never come out as succinctly, because you have no time to think of an answer.” He rubbed my cheek with the back of his fingers. “I know all about you, I always have, remember? Being this near to you only proves how much I’ve known.”
I sunk down and guffawed. “I don’t know whether to be frightened or flatted by you anymore.”
“Did the Sheriff do this to you, Cinder?”
“He didn’t, not exactly.”
He made a face. “What does that mean? What occurred between you?”
“We talked. I warned him that it was in bad form to continue his
harassment of this family. It’s clear that he believed with your having become bedridden at the moment, it gave him full advantage to inform the king of my misdeeds, past, present, and perhaps even the future.”
“What exactly did you say to him?”
“Exactly? I’d rather inform you in a roundabout way.”
“Did you threaten him?” he asked.
“No. I made him a few promises I am bound to keep if he returns.”
“What kind of promises?”
“Promises of which you need not worry,” I told him. “We have more important things to fret over, such as your healing.”
“And yours, now.” He dropped his hand to mine and circled his fingers around my cuts. “Inform me of what you told him. Perhaps it would begin the true healing process.”
I sighed. “Well, there was a letter opener on the desk. I informed him that I would cut out his tongue if he told the king of my misdeeds. I threatened his life, and he told me that I was as mad as you. I told him that you were as mad as me, and it terrified him.”
“You managed to terrify the Sheriff?”
“Yes.”
He turned his eyes down. “How did this happen?” he asked, lightly tapping my palm.
“With the letter opener. I forced him to retrieve it and he pressed the blade into my hand. I squeezed the blade in an effort to intimidate him, and thus…”
He continued rubbing his fingers over my hand, focusing hard as he spoke. “Shall I have him beheaded for you?”
“No,” I said. His eyes shot up. “I thought about it, but I don’t wish for his blood on your hands. Nor do I wish to give your father more of a reason to despise us both. He would be bound to learn the truth if the Sheriff dies.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. But I’m certain he would.”
Norvack nodded. “Then I shall spare the Sheriff his life for now, particularly since ours is just beginning together. Did you question him regarding the sword?”
“Yes. He claims one of his men stole it and left the country. I told him in more ways than one that he was a liar.”
“It takes one, yes?”
“Quiet.”
He smiled and reached up, stroking his thumb against the side of my throat, and tried moving closer to me. He eyed my lips and tongue with a hunger I had never seen before, and given his current actions, it was quite difficult to comprehend at first. “Do you know I called for you?” His tone was smooth yet dark and almost sinful, but I wasn’t afraid.
“I’m aware. It’s why I’m here.”
“It’s not why you stayed.” He grinned in way that tempted me into seduction. “However, I was referring to when I was stabbed near the heart. I called for you in the field. I saw your face as I was on the ground. You were like an angel from the gods.”
“You called for me then?” I asked. He nodded. My heart fluttered and I leaned closer, tilting my head. “Do you believe I was sent to watch over you?”
“Something like that. I was near death and you were the first and only person on my mind.”
“That’s quite powerful,” I told him. “Your mother will be quite thrilled with this story.”
“I won’t tell her.”
“I shall. We’ll need something to discuss over brunch.” I grinned and he laughed, and then he began coughing and reaching for his chest. I looked down and noticed the wound was reopening beneath the gauze. “Oh my God.”
“It’s alright.”
“No, it’s not. I’ve exhausted you with all of this,” I said.
“You could never exhaust me, Cinder girl. At least, not in such a manner as this.”
I took the compress and pressed down on his wound as hard as I could. He screamed out in agony.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, but I must stop the bleeding. Here.” I grabbed his book and shoved the spine into his mouth. “Bite down.”
As the pain began to subside, I removed the book, placing it back onto the nightstand. Norvack slipped his fingers beneath my chin. I hadn’t realized I was crying until I felt him wiping the tears from my face.
I shook my head. “I can hardly see anything in this room, between my tears and the darkness.”
“You are free to unleash the sun upon me if you wish.”
“Why have you been so determined to keep it out?” I snapped.
“Sunlight proves another day lies ahead. I’m partial to imagining no life goes on without me there to live it as full and free as you or anyone else. It’s selfish of me, but it’s what I believe, and how I feel.”
“You are selfish, but I’ve known it for years. And that’s a foolish reason.” I checked his wound, which had finally stopped bleeding, and went over to the dresser for another gauze and compress, and began patching him up as best as I could. “Life does continue on with or without you, Norvack. And as someone who has been near death more times than I would like to count, I can most assuredly attest to it. But there’s no excuse for you of all people to stop living, and to hold yourself up in this room.”
“If I were to say, seeing you brings me life inside these dark walls…?”
I rolled my eyes and looked around the room. “It’s hard to imagine the king favoring Willem, yet consenting to him sleeping in here.
“My father didn’t consent it,” he said, struggling to sit upright. I reached around, helping him. “Willem insisted on this room.”
“Why? Even a peasant would render this room a personal prison.”
“Once my brother learned the truth, he informed my father that he didn’t want to be part of our family. My father worshipped at his feet, yet Willem never cared. What I would have given for the kind of respect he obtained, never earning it, only receiving it because of who his mother was…” Norvack turned away from me and rubbed his face. “He only enjoyed the luxuries of being a king’s son.”
“The luxuries? Such as taking women and forcing them to screw him against their own will. That was a luxury your brother valued, though I would never refer to it as such. You are better than he was, isn’t that enough of an achievement?”
“I initially forced you to marry me.”
I groaned. “Yes, well, there is that. But I chose to continue on with it. You gave me chances to leave, and yet I stayed, enduring whatever consequence came my way. Your desire to be on continued equal footing with your brother puzzles me.”
“Willem received respect from my father that I never will.”
“By your own mouth, respect he didn’t deserve! Had his mother been anyone else, it would not matter.”
“Had she been my mother,” he stated, balling a fist and shoving it into the mattress. “Willem was a vile bastard, but he knew what it was like to have the love of my father. Had he returned from battle, my father would have demanded a celebration in his honor, no matter the outcome of it. I return and my father has spoken to me all of three times, each one more derisive and dismissive than the last.”
I gazed at him. His face reddened and his eyes became watery. He tightened his jaw and wiped his face to keep the tears from falling.
“My God, you are a tortured soul.” I said.
He sniffed. “Tortured.”
“Yes.” I took his hand in both of mine and placed it on my chest. “I believe in you, is that enough? I cannot relate to the pain you feel from your father’s neglect or treatment when he chooses not to ignore you, but I am here.”
He watched my eyes nervously dancing beneath my lids and removed his hand. Without sounding as if he were in pain this time, he sat up and pressed his lips against me, resting them on my heart.
“Your wound,” I muttered.
“I’m fine.”
I closed my eyes and leaned back, accepting his kisses.
“I feel you,” he whispered. He slipped an arm around my waist and fluttered his tongue on my skin.
I gasped and sunk my teeth into my bottom lip to keep from calling out his name in a pleasurable tone. And then I slipped my fingers into
his hair and lowered them to his neck.
“I feel you, Cinder,” he said again.
“I feel you,” I replied.
Norvack kissed and licked down the front of me until he reached the rim of my gown. I was practically heaving my breasts in his face, anxious and ready for him to take each one into his mouth and suckle my swollen nipples.
“Taste me,” I begged.
Norvack slipped two fingers down the front of my gown, pulling until my breasts were fully exposed. Once the air hit my nipples, they became even more taut and firm. He took one of my breasts in his hands and dove in, licking and nibbling and flickering my nipple. I winced a little as I felt his teeth tighten around it, but I didn’t want him to stop. I slid my hand up his blankets, traveling my fingers until I reached his firm cock. It pulsated beneath my hand.
“I wish to make love to you,” he breathed out, kissing my neck. “I wish to make you come.”
I dropped my head and pressed my lips against the corner of his mouth. His breath was warm against my face, but the taste was so utterly sweet on my tongue. “Norvack…”
“Every part of me aches for you, my favorite girl.” He squeezed my breasts and ran his tongue over my lips. “I love you.”
I stopped in an instant and released his cock. Those words continued to be like pinging arrows against a metal plate of armor. I shifted away from him and lifted the rim of my gown over my breasts. I rested my elbow on my knee and placed my chin in my hand, rattling my foot.
“I’m not in love with you,” I said.
“So you continue to say,” he replied. I looked at him and he curled his lips up. “Isn’t that right?”
“So I continue to say it to be true.”
“You are afraid of what you feel--”
“I feel nothing.”
“You feel something,” he said. “You would not allow me to touch you, to kiss you -- or taste you as I do, otherwise.”
I shrugged. “Perhaps I am in fact no more than a common whore who’s sole desire is that of a man’s touch.”
“Not just any man.” He pointed to himself. “Me. Failing to resist me does not equate you to that of a common whore, Cinder.”
