But I’m not as sad as you might think. I knew she would die pretty soon anyway, and this is a better way than in bed looking at the ceiling, maybe in pain. If that had happened, she wouldn’t have complained. She’d not have said a word, trying not to be a bother. Nobody would have known about the pain except me. I would have had to grit my teeth against her pain the whole time.
I haven’t told anybody partly because I’m waiting to figure things out. I’m here all by myself, but I’m good at looking after things. There are those who check on us every weekend—people who are paid to do it. I wave at them. “All okay.” I mouth it. The president of the Town and Country Bank came out once. I told him Grandma wasn’t feeling well. It wasn’t exactly a lie. How long can this go on? He’ll be the one who finds out first—if anybody does. Maybe they won’t.
I’m nursing my jackrabbit. We’re friends now. He’s getting better fast. Pretty soon I’ll let him go off to be a rabbit. But he might rather stay here with me.
I’m wearing Grandma’s costume most of the time now. I sleep in it. It makes me feel safe. I’m doing my own little rescues as usual. (The vegetable garden is full of happy weeds. I keep the bird feeder going. I leave scraps out for the skunk.) Those count—almost as much as Grandma’s rescues did. Anyway, I know the weeds think so.
The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, March 2002
Notes On Stories
“Built For Pleasure” was sold to Long Island Suburban in November 1954, but the publication collapsed before the story saw print. This is its first publication.
“This Thing Called Love” in its appearance in Future Science Fiction, No. 28, 1955, had header line art by CE’s husband Ed “Emsh” Emshwiller.
“Love Me Again” in its appearance in Science Fiction Quarterly, February 1956, was illustrated by “Emsh” .
“Two-Step For Six Legs” in its appearance in Science Fiction Quarterly, May 1956, was illustrated by “Emsh”
“Bingo and Bongo” in its appearance in Future Science Fiction, No. 31, Winter 1956-1957, was illustrated by “Emsh” .
“Hunting Machine” in its appearance in The Original Science Fiction, vol. 7, no. 6, May 1957, was illustrated by “Emsh” .
“The Piece Thing” in its appearance in Science Fiction Quarterly, August 1957, was illustrated by “Emsh” .
“Baby” in its first publication in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction had a cover painting, illustrating the story, by “Emsh” .
“Day at the Beach” in its first publication in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction had a cover painting, illustrating the story, by “Emsh” .
“Chicken Icarus” was first published as “A Dream of Flying” in Cavalier October 1966.
“But Soft What Light…” CE’s original title for this story was “Word Engine”.
“White Dove” has been revised from its first publication in New Worlds.
“Destinations, Premonitions and the Nature of Anxiety,” “Eohippus,” and “Expecting Sunshine and Getting It,” black and white line art by CE.
“Creature” won the Nebula Award for best story in 2002.
About The Author
Carol Emshwiller was born in 1921 in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Her Father was a linguistic professor at the University of Michigan. She Graduated from that college in 1949, after serving in the Red Cross during World War II, and spent a year studying fine art at the Ecole des Beaux-Arts in France under a Fulbright scholarship. In 1950 she toured post-war Europe on a motorcycle with her husband Ed Emshwiller, who she first met in a life drawing class. She sold her first story in 1954. In 2002 she won the Nebula Award and Philip K. Dick Award. She received a second Nebula and the World Fantasy Award for Life Achievement in 2005. The mother of two daughters and one son, she has lived since 1981 in New York City.
The dust jacket portrait is an oil painting done by Ed Emshwiller in 1957. Carol was the primary female model for his artwork on books and magazines. To learn more about the Emshwillers see Infinity x Two: The Art & Life of Ed and Carol Emshwiller, also from Nonstop Press.
OTHER BOOKS FROM NONSTOP PRESS
_____
Musings and Meditations: Essays and Thoughts by Robert Silverberg (trade paper $18.95 ISBN: 978-1-933065-20-5; ebook available)
“This delightful collection reflects Silverberg’s wide-ranging interests, wit, and mastery of the craft.” –Publishers Weekly (Starred Review)
A NEW COLLECTION of essays from one of contemporary science fiction’s most imaginative and acclaimed wordsmiths shows that Robert Silverberg’s nonfiction is as witty and original as his fiction. No cultural icon escapes his scrutiny, including fellow writers such as Robert Heinlein, Arthur C. Clarke, H. P. Lovecraft, and Isaac Asimov.
_____
MEETING THE DOG GIRLS Stories by Gay Terry (ISBN: 9781933065304; Trade paperback, $14.95; ebook available.)
Whether they are called fantasy, magical realism, science fiction, or slipstream, the stories in this collection—the first from Gay Terry—blend the real and the fantastic in an imaginative and mischievous way. Written in the tradition of Ray Bradbury, Angela Carter, and Edgar Allan Poe, these contemporary fables present remarkable characters trapped in unusual situations.
_____
Why New Yorkers Smoke edited by Luis Ortiz
(trade paper $14.95 ISBN: 978-1-933065-24-3; ebook available)
Subtitled; New Yorkers Have Many Things to Fear: Real and Imagined. This collection of original stories answers the question “What is there to fear in New York City?,” with creative responses from Paul di Filippo, Scott Edelman, Carol Emshwiller, Lawrence Greenberg, Gay Partington Terry, Don Webb, and Barry Malzberg, among others. The contributors represent a combination of New Yorkers, ex-New Yorkers, and wannabe New Yorkers, and their tales of fear all use the city as an ominous backdrop. Blending the genres of fantasy, science fiction, and horror, the stories in this anthology showcase work from up-and-coming writers as well as veterans of fantastical fiction.
_____
Steampunk Prime: A Vintage Steampunk Reader Edited by Mike Ashley, with a foreword by Paul di Filippo, illustrated by Luis Ortiz.
Trade paper $15.95 (ISBN 978-1933065182; ebook available)
“These tales have the pulpy goodness steampunk fans adore....” –Publishers Weekly
“Within this collection, readers will find romance, mystery, adventure, and, of course, the iconic steampunk airship.” –School Library Journal
_____
Cult Magazines: From A to Z, A Compendium of Culturally Obsessive & Curiously Expressive Publications Edited by Earl Kemp & Luis Ortiz; $34.95 ISBN: 978-1-933065-14-4
“Contains a wealth of arcane information about many of the oddball magazines that once graced newsstands.” — New York Times Book Review
Featuring full-color reproductions of hundreds of distinctive cult magazine cover images, this reference’s backgrounds, histories, and essays offer a complete picture of a bygone era. Fully illustrated in color.
_____
Other Spaces, Other Times: A Life Spent in the Future by Robert Silverberg; $29.95 Hardcover ISBN: 978-1-933065-12-0
“For all [science fiction] devotees and novelists in training who relished Stephen King’s similarly autobiographical On Writing.” —Libraryjournal.com
A collection of autobiographical writings. Fully illustrated, partial color.
_____
Library of American Artists
Vol. 1: Arts Unknown: The Life & Art of Lee Brown Coye by Luis Ortiz; $39.95 hardcover. Fully illustrated, in color. ISBN: 978-1-933065-04-4
“A must for lovers of the weird and fantastic.” — Publishers Weekly
“A smashingly beautiful book … reading this fine biography is like riding a train through the history of three-quarters of the 20th century, and seeing Coye’s monsters through every window.” —Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine
______
Vol. 2: Emshwiller: Infinity x Two
The Art & Life of Ed & Carol Emshwiller by Luis Ortiz; $39.95 hardcover ISBN: 978-1-933065-08-3
“… fascinating .... a must have for anyone interested in SF art, writing, and history.”– LOCUS
A 2008 Hugo Award nominee and Locus Award finalist. Fully illustrated, in color.
______
Vol. 3: Outermost: The Art + Life of Jack Gaughan by Luis Ortiz; $39.95 hardcover Fully illustrated, in color. ISBN: 978-1-933065-16-8
Fantastic imagery, explosive color, and occasionally creepy creations merge together in this elaborate collection of the work of genius artist, Jack Gaughan. Extremely prolific and popular from the 1960s through the 1980s, Gaughan is showcased in this chronicle that is the first to detail the art and life of this master of the science fiction and fantasy genre. Overflowing with samples of work from the artist’s personal archives and exploring examples of his working method, this definitive guide provides an inside look into this four time Hugo Award winner.
_____
nonstop-press.com
The Collected Stories of Carol Emshwiller, Vol. 1 Page 84
