by David Mamet
(He steps back, looks at the Land-Rover.)
So what is the thing here, what you doing . . . ?
(ANDERTON steps over to a workbench, takes a brochure out of a box, hands one to ESPOSITO.)
(Insert: The brochure. In the manner of a travel brochure. It reads: “We will take you there.” There is a picture of the fitted-out Land-Rover in front of a waterfall. The brochure is opened, the text reads: “Hunting, fishing, camping, exploration. U.S., North and South America, and abroad. If a truck can go there we will take you there. Fifteen years experience. References.”)
(Angle: ESPOSITO holding the brochure. Looks up.)
ESPOSITO: What is this, like a taxi service to the wilds . . .
ANDERTON (smiling): Something like that. You want to play?
ESPOSITO: I want to play? I'm here, ain't I . . . ? Just tell me where we're going . . .
ANDERTON (ribbing him): You're slowing down, Danny. You never used to care . . .
ESPOSITO (holds up his hands, defending himself): Just so I'll know what coat to bring . . . (He walks over to the Land-Rover.) Nice truck you got here.
(He nods approvingly. Smiles at ANDERTON.)
TITLE SEQUENCE:
A manila envelope. The brochure we have just seen is placed on top of it, a map is placed on top of the brochure, and an area on the map outlined in red grease pencil. The map and brochure are placed in the envelope, and a hand takes a rubber stamp, and stamps the upper left-hand corner of the manila envelope with the logo “We Will Take You There, “ the words in a large circle around the device of the Land-Rover.
ACT ONE
AUTUMN DAY.
The porch of an old house on a northern lake. Below the house a very large lake, an old wooden pier jutting out into the lake. ESPOSLTO perched on the porch looking out at the lake. From inside the house, the sound of a teakettle whistling. ESPOSITO gets up and goes inside.
Camera follows him inside. The main room is fitted out as a turn-of-the-century hunting lodge, antlers on the wall, guns in racks, fish mounted. ESPOSITO walks through this room into the kitchen where MACLAREN, a woodsman in his early sixties, is making instant coffee.
ESPOSITO: Nice day.
MACLAREN: Nice day if it don't rain. No sugar for both, cream for one, is that right?
ESPOSITO: What'd you hear from the plane?
MACLAREN: Nothing since they left Prince Rupert.
ESPOSITO: Nothing?
MACLAREN: They ain't got a radio. Your client's coming here to look for what . . . ?
ESPOSITO: For lichens. For moss.
MACLAREN: Why?
ESPOSITO: Well, I don't know why. He's a professor.
MACLAREN: Of what?
ESPOSITO: Something to do with moss. I don't know . . . (ESPOSITO takes the two coffees, leaves the room.) Thank you.
MACLAREN: Yessuh.
(Camera follows ESPOSITO back into the main room and upstairs and into a bedroom where ANDERTON is studying some maps he has spread out on the bed.)
ANDERTON (taking coffee): Thank you.
ESPOSITO: Pleasure.
ANDERTON: Any word on their plane?
ESPOSITO: The plane has no radio. It's a nice day. If it does not rain. That's my report.
(Sound of an airplane.)
Aha.
(ANDERTON and ESPOSITO go over to the balcony, go outside, A small ancient amphibian plane is circling, about to land on the far side of the lake.)
ANDERTON: Well, let's go meet the people.
(Camera follows the two out of the room, down the stairs, out to where their Land-Rover is sitting, outside the house. They get into the Rover, and drive it the fifty yards down to the dock. MACLAREN walks out and joins them as the amphibian plane glides to a stop at the dock. The pilot throws MACLAREN a line, and he makes the plane fast to the dock. PROFESSOR GEORGE SCHOLTZ, a man in his late fifties, dressed in safari clothes, a large revolver in a shoulder holster, jumps from the plane to the dock. The pilot starts handing out rifle cases to the PROFESSOR.)
(Angle of ESPOSITO and ANDERTON standing by the truck.)
ESPOSITO: You said that fellow's looking for moss . . . ?
ANDERTON: I think that maybe he was fooling . . .
(In the background PROFESSOR SCHOLTZ sees them. Greets them.)
PROFESSOR SCHOLTZ: Mr. Anderton . . . ?
ANDERTON (to ESPOSITO): Excuse me.
(He walks over to the PROFESSOR, extends his hand.)
Professor Scholtz . . . ?
(MACLAREN helps a woman in her forties out of the plane. She is togged in the style of her husband, PROFESSOR SCHOLTZ. MACLAREN walks back and, out of the side of his mouth, confabs with ESPOSITO.)
MACLAREN: What did you say this fellow's looking for?
ESPOSITO: MOSS.
MACLAREN: Carrying some heavy equipment go looking for moss.
ESPOSITO: It's wild moss.
(In the background ANDERTON indicates ESPOSITO.)
ANDERTON: And this is my partner, Danny Esposito.
(ESPOSITO starts over toward them.)
ESPOSITO (to himself): Yes sir, a nice day if it does not rain.
PROFESSOR: And this is my wife, Mrs. Scholtz. (The PROFESSOR surveys the area around him.) Lovely country.
(MACLAREN is unloading rifle cases and video equipment from the plane.)
ESPOSITO: Professor?
PROFESSOR: Mr. Esposito . . . ?
ESPOSITO: What are the rifles for?
PROFESSOR: They're tranquilizing guns.
ESPOSITO: For moss . . . ?
PROFESSOR (looks around to his wife, on the dock): Karen, are you okay?
MRS. SCHOLTZ: I'm fine.
(He leads ESPOSITO and ANDERTON out of earshot of MACLAREN, speaks in an undertone.)
PROFESSOR: Gentlemen, I'm sorry. I've been less than frank with you. Suffice it to say, for the moment, that the area of our search will remain more or less the same, but its object will be somewhat different than the one which I informed you of.
ESPOSITO: SO what is it we're looking for?
PROFESSOR: When we're on the trail, I will, of course . . . if you will wait ‘til then . . . it's a matter of security. When I tell you, you'll understand.
ESPOSITO: Oh.
(MRS. SCHOLTZ, down on the dock, needs help with a suitcase or pack she is taking from the plane.)
MRS. SCHOLTZ: George . . . ?
PROFESSOR: Excuse me. (He goes down to her.)
ESPOSITO: Wednesday is Anything Can Happen Day. (Beat.) What do you think?
ANDERTON (shrugs): Pays the piper, calls the tune.
ESPOSITO: ... I guess . . .
(They go down to the dock and start loading the Land-Rover.)
INSIDE THE HUNTING LODGE. THE LIVING ROOM.
Hunting trophies all over. ESPOSITO, PROFESSOR, and MRS. SCHOLTZ and ANDERTON sitting, drinking coffee.
PROFESSOR (holding forth): . . . operating in the tradition of Ancient Voyagers, which is to say: each mission, each ship had a pilot, his responsibility was the actual day-to-day functioning of the ship; and, over him, a Captain, who is charged with the direction of the mission which is, of course, myself. (Nods to ANDERTON.) Now: you were saying?
ANDERTON (stands): Thank you. (He picks up a small pack, marked with a large Day-Glo cross. Holds it up.) This is a little daypack. What's in it? (He starts unloading it.) Several packets of raisins and nuts. Some chocolate. A flashlight. A small first-aid kit. A hunting knife. Some nylon line, a whistle. Matches. A small hatchet. Most importantly . . . (He takes a compass out of a side pocket.) A compass. (Takes a beat. Composes his thoughts.) We are going out into the woods. Where any of these things could save your life. Where the presence of any of them could mean the difference between life and death. Your safety is the responsibility of me and my partner. We are here to take you where you want to go, to help you accomplish whatever it is you want to do, to bring you back safely. But you're going to have to do your part. Think. THINK BEFORE YOU ACT Stay with the
truck. Stay in camp. Do not leave the camp except with Danny or myself. You may have outdoor skills. Defer to us. Let's do things our way. We'll make the fires and we'll dowse the fires, we'll mark the trail and we'll read the maps for you. What you're paying us for is technique, which is to say habit: the ability to act correctly faster than you can think. This is what we're trained to do. Listen to us. Use your common sense, stay alert. That's it. Tomorrow we'll be heading . . . North? Professor . . . ?
PROFESSOR: That is correct. North. I thank you, and so if you could show us to our rooms, I'm sure my wife . . .
ANDERTON: You want to tell them, Danny . . . ?
ESPOSITO: Thank you. (He rises, goes to the front of the room.) We're going to be making a Hudson's Bay Start. Let me explain that to you: The Fur Trade: the eighteenth, the nineteenth, and twentieth century, all of this area, of course, was controlled by the Hudson's Bay Company, the Fur Trade. They found that when their men went off on an expedition that they made a better start if they spent the last night before they left, not in the camp, but half a mile outside the camp. And living as they would on the trail . . .
PROFESSOR: What was the purpose of this?
ESPOSITO: To make a good start. To break camp early and get on the trail. To not waste the day looking for the articles that one has left behind, to shake down, to get in the right frame of mind. We've chosen a campsite (points) ’bout half a mile back in the woods, we'll get some practice pitching camp, we'll talk about some safety pro- cedures, I've got some venison that I've bought from Mr. Maclaren, it's out of season, but he tells me it died of a broken heart. So. Let's pack up the . . .
PROFESSOR: Mrs. Scholtz and I . . .
MRS. SCHOLTZ: I'm alright, George.
PROFESSOR: I approve in the abstract of your plan . . .
ESPOSITO: Then let us be philosophers, Sir, let us live as if those things of which we approved in the abstract were the case.
(Sound of the airplane leaving.)
And there goes your taxi, so we're stuck with each other awhile. Who'd like to help me load the truck? (ESPOSITO goes outside.)
MRS. SCHOLTZ: I'll help.
(The PROFESSOR hangs back, comes up to ANDERTON.)
PROFESSOR: Mr. Anderton.
ANDERTON: Mike.
PROFESSOR: Mike, yes. Mike. One question. I saw the first-aid kit, but in the event of a medical emergency . . .
ANDERTON: We have a fully stocked medical kit in the truck. Danny and I are both trained in its use.
PROFESSOR: Yes, yes, but, for example, what if there was a serious . . .
ANDERTON: Seriously, my partner once removed a man's appendix with a hunting knife.
PROFESSOR: Is that true?
ANDERTON: Yes, sir, that's absolutely true.
OUTSIDE. AT THE SIDE OF THE TRUCK.
ESPOSITO and MRS. SCHOLTZ loading the Rover.
ESPOSITO: Some fine equipment you got here, Ma'am.
MRS. SCHOLTZ: Mmm.
ESPOSITO: What's it for?
MRS. SCHOLTZ: "What's it for” is to get my husband out of the house. How old are you?
(The PROFESSOR comes out of the house, comes up to ESPOSITO.)
PROFESSOR: Mr. Esposito?
ESPOSITO: Sir?
PROFESSOR: Did you once remove a man's appendix with a hunting knife?
ESPOSITO: Yes sir. I had to. He was trying to kill me.
(ANDERTON comes out of the house, comes over to the truck.)
ANDERTON: Let's go camping.
(MACLAREN comes up from the pier, calls to them.)
MACLAREN: Looks like rain.
ESPOSITO (under his breath, to ANDERTON): Good “Mossing” weather.
ANDERTON: How do you like being a businessman?
ESPOSITO: Anything to get out of the house. What are we looking for?
ANDERTON: We aren't looking. He's looking. We're driving. You heard the man.
ESPOSITO (shrugs): Okay.
(MRS. SCHOLTZ and her husband are in the truck.)
All set . . . ? (He gets into the shotgun seat.) And away we go.
ACT TWO
THE CAMPSITE. DUSK.
Three tents, attached to the Land-Rover. A campfire in the center, the wind is starting to blow. A corner of one of the tents has come loose and is flapping. KAREN SCHOLTZ comes out of her tent and tries to fasten down the corner which has come loose. MIKE ANDERTON, holding a kerosene lantern, crossing from tent to tent, speaks to ESPOSITO, who is tending the dying fire.
ANDERTON: Danny!
ESPOSITO: Yo!
ANDERTON (pointing to MRS. SCHOLTZ and the tent): Tighten it up, will you . . . ?
(ESPOSITO nods, goes to help MRS. SCHOLTZ. ANDERTON continues into the other tent.)
ESPOSITO: I'll do that. (He works refastening the tent.) Blowing up a bit.
MRS. SCHOLTZ: It's beautiful out here.
ESPOSITO: It most certainly is. (He finishes with the tent, starts back to the fire.)
MRS. SCHOLTZ: We have any more coffee?
ESPOSITO: Uh-hmm . . .
(He pours her some, they sit on a log by the fire. Beat.)
MRS. SCHOLTZ: It makes you lonely sometimes. Doesn't it?
ESPOSITO: What? Being outside. Yes. I . . . I don't know . . .
MRS. SCHOLTZ: Hmm. You feel at home here.
ESPOSITO: Uh-hmm.
MRS. SCHOLTZ: That must be a very good feeling.
ESPOSITO: Well. I suppose it is.
MRS. SCHOLTZ: I make you nervous.
ESPOSITO (smiles): I think you just got to loosen up a bit. You got to leave the city behind. You will. In a day or two.
MRS. SCHOLTZ: I will?
ESPOSITO: Sure. I'll tell you what. Most of the time that people think: I have to do this, the world is coming to an end . . . a business meeting . . . what it is: it's too much coffee . . . not enough time to themselves. (Beat.) Not enough quiet.
MRS. SCHOLTZ (bemused): Hmmm. And that's the answer to the problems of the world.
ESPOSITO: Yes, Ma'am, that's what I think . . . two things. Now: Maybe I'm this unsophisticated guy who doesn't understand the problem . . . (Shrugs.) And maybe I'm right. (Smiles.) You want a donut?
(Inside a tent. The PROFESSOR at a small folding table. Maps all around him. He speaks into a small tape recorder.)
PROFESSOR: . . . north on this trail A-5. (He makes notes on a scratchpad.) To Kenyon's Hill. The basic bearing is ... (He hunts for something in the pile of maps on the table, he cannot find it. He spies the small daypack marked with the Day-Glo cross hanging on a peg on the tent upright, he goes into the side pocket, takes out the compass, comes back to the table.) The basic bearing is 335 degrees. The Lair, according to the . . . (He makes more notes on the scratchpad.) According to Nessy and Mosher “Notes on Anthropoids, “ . . . should lie within five to six hundred yards of . . .
(ANDERTON comes into the tent. The PROFESSOR stops speaking, covers his maps and notes, turns off the tape recorder.)
Mr. Anderton . . . ?
ANDERTON: Just checking, Sir. Everything alright?
PROFESSOR: Mmm. I'm fine. Thank you. It's . . . tomorrow . . . we'll have breakfast at . . . ?
ANDERTON: Whenever you say, we can spend the day in camp if you want and set out Thurs . . .
PROFESSOR: No. We've, I want to be (points at map) here on the twenty-third. I want to set out tomorrow.
ANDERTON: Then I'd say, we'll get up early anyway. We could break camp . . . I think you'll find we can be on the road by eight. Eight thirty, no problem.
PROFESSOR: Fine. (Sighs.) Fine. I'm glad we were able to do this together. (Smiles patronizingly.) You know, it's not hard to be a visionary, Mr. Anderton, all you have to do is be prepared to take it in the teeth from the rest of the world until they come and catch up to you. (Pause.)
ANDERTON: S'been a long day.
PROFESSOR: Yes. It has. You and your partner seem to be very good at your job. And we appreciate that. (Beat.) Good night.
ANDERTON: Good night,
Professor. Anything you need during the night, we'll be here.
(ANDERTON leaves the tent. Goes over to ESPOSITO, who is cleaning up around the fire. Camera follows.)
ANDERTON: How's every little thing?
ESPOSITO: Fine, hey, you never told me. This is like being a cross between a hotel and a psychiatrist.
ANDERTON: Who knew? S'we get the fire out?
ESPOSITO (looks at the sky): Yeah. It looks like we're ‘bout to get some . . .
(The rain starts coming down in torrents.)
Even as he spoke. Aha!
ANDERTON: Let's check the tents.
(ANDERTON starts making the circuit of the tents, checking the lashings. He goes to the Land-Rover and rolls up all the windows, leans inside and checks the emergency brake.)
(ESPOSITO at the PROFESSOR’S tent.)
ESPOSITO: Looks like we're going to get some heavy rain, you'll be fine, see you in the . . .
MRS. SCHOLTZ: Where's my husband . . . ?
ESPOSITO: Over at the other t . . .
MRS. SCHOLTZ: Anyone ever tell you you're a very attractive man?
ESPOSITO: That's right, Ma'am. See you in the morning.
(He leaves her tent, struggles through the torrential rain to the car, gets out a poncho, goes down to the other tent, where the PROFESSOR is poring over his notes.)
Professor, your wife's looking for you. Poncho. (Hands him the poncho.) Stay dry. Good night.
(ESPOSITO leaves. The PROFESSOR looks down at his notes. Takes off his glasses, wipes his eyes, arranges his notes. Weights them down, puts a note up on a small portable bulletin board. Crumples some of the notes he has been taking, stands up, starts to leave the tent. He absently picks up the notes he has crumpled, looks around. Picks up an empty tin can they have been using as an ashtray, puts the crumpled notes into it, lights a match to it, puts it on the ground. ESPOSITO puts his head back in the tent.)
Really blowing up!
PROFESSOR: Yes. I'll be right there.
(ESPOSITO nods. Camera follows him through the rain, back to the front seat of the Land-Rover, where ANDERTON is sitting, wearing glasses, studying a map by a navigator light on the dash.)
ESPOSITO: Nice day if it doesn't rain.
ANDERTON: Hey, what are you, a weatherman?
ESPOSITO: No, a weatherman is “fifty percent chance it doesn't rain.” “Nice day if it doesn't rain” is a philosopher. You got a route for tomorrow . . . ?
