by Cindy Dees
“If it’s money you need, I’ll write you a check.”
Humiliation washed over her. She didn’t want his money. She didn’t want to need anyone’s help. She had always taken care of herself, and she would find a way out of this mess like she always did. Although this was a bigger mess than most. Okay, this was the mother of all messes.
“What do I have to say to get you to stay on the Nymph until you figure things out?” he asked.
“You might try asking.”
“Stay.” He added belatedly, “Please?”
“Why should I?”
“Because I want you to, dammit!” he exploded.
“But why?”
He opened his mouth but no words came out. He tried again, but still nothing. Finally, he surged up out of his chair and came around the table in two powerful strides. He reached down for her and dragged her to her feet. Or more precisely, dragged her up against him. His mouth swooped down and crushed hers in a kiss that left her gasping for air.
The kiss intensified. Deepened. And all those sparks that had been there between them before ignited in a shower of heat and fury. Everywhere he touched her, she burned. He broke the kiss, breathing hard, and she tugged his head back down for more. God bless Gemma Jones for whatever drugs she’d given him to help his breathing because he kissed her so thoroughly this time before he came up for air that her knees went weak.
Finally, he lifted his mouth from hers far enough to mutter, “Say you’ll stay.”
“If I don’t?”
“I’ll have to tear your clothes off and make love to you until you do.”
“Then I definitely refuse to stay.”
He laughed against her mouth.
She started to insist on clothes-tearing and hot, sweaty sex immediately, but then she heard movement behind her. Drat. They had company. Aiden stepped away from her hastily. Why was he in such an all-fired hurry to pretend as if he hadn’t been sucking her lungs out? Was he ashamed of her? The thought burned like acid in her gut. Lord knew, she wasn’t nearly classy enough to fit into his world. But still, the notion that she was an embarrassment to him hurt.
A sailor announced, “Captain wanted me to tell you that, whenever you’re ready, the Nymph can get under way.”
Aiden nodded briskly. “I think we’ve collected everything we need from this town. Let’s go.”
The resulting flurry of activity distracted her long enough that the harbor was retreating in the distance before she remembered her personal things. There wasn’t much, but it was all she had left. A handful of
photographs—the last remnants of her parents. Her camera. And her film. If she was lucky, she’d find a way to cobble together a documentary from the footage she already had and salvage something from this disastrous trip.
“My stuff—” she started in rising panic.
“In your closet,” Aiden interrupted.
“But how?”
“I had the crew fetch your things.”
She frowned. “When did you give the order? You passed out before they got you to the infirmary last night, and they told me when I woke up this morning that you weren’t awake, yet.”
“Yesterday afternoon.”
She turned to face him squarely. “Yesterday?” she asked ominously. “Care to explain how that happened?
“After I saw you at the docks, I realized I couldn’t deal with worrying about you constantly. You were coming back to the Nymph with me last night one way or another.”
“What if I’d refused?”
The corner of his mouth turned up in a smile so sexy it curled her toes. But then it faded, replaced by a look of...she wasn’t sure what. Chagrin. Self-loathing. He answered reluctantly, “You wouldn’t have refused me.”
“But what if I had?” she insisted.
“Then I’d have thrown you over my shoulder and carried you here.”
“You’d have kidnapped me?”
He answered grimly, “If that’s what it took.”
There wasn’t anything even remotely playful in his words. It was almost as if he hated the fact that he would have kidnapped her but would have had no other choice. Well, then. She turned to stare out at the ocean’s deep, deep blue. Maybe he wasn’t quite as detached and disinterested as he tried to be, after all. But what did it all mean?
* * *
Aiden was appalled to realize he would, indeed, have kidnapped Sunny if necessary. Truth be told, he hadn’t thought that far ahead when he’d given the order for her personal possessions to be fetched.
He felt as if he’d been split in two and the separate halves of him were at war with one another. His head could not believe he’d safely gotten rid of Sunny and had turned around and dragged her right back aboard the ship. What was he thinking? He knew better.
His heart exulted in the fact that she was here again. He craved the way she made him feel; not just the sex, but how she made him laugh and yell and really experience every emotion. He hadn’t felt this alive in years. Even in the height of his wild days, he couldn’t remember the last woman who’d made him feel like this.
Yes, his sense of duty replied, but what of his work? What of his vow to grow up and quit acting like a spoiled kid? His vow to use his special skills to protect mankind and work for justice and truth?
His heart’s answer was blunt. What. Ever. He had a right to a little happiness along the way, didn’t he? Why couldn’t he do his job and have a personal life? Other people did it all the time. Even people in dangerous jobs serving the public good like soldiers, policemen and firemen. How was he so different?
The one thing both sides of him agreed on unequivocally was they knew what they’d like to do with her. But it was a far cry from what he should do with her.
Deeply conflicted, he spent the afternoon on the bridge where the crew was trying to acquire the signal from the tracking device he’d planted on the pirate vessel. The radio’s limited size meant it also had a limited range. They would have to sail within about a hundred miles of it to pick up the signal. Assuming the pirates hadn’t already found it and disabled it.
The Nymph had been repaired and ready to go for the past two days, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to give the order to leave Djibouti. Not while Sunny was there alone and in danger. Even if he’d been too stubborn to approach her directly and tell her how he felt about her, he still felt responsible for her safety.
The hell of it was Steig and Gemma seemed to have entered into some sort of conspiracy to force him to face up to his feelings for Sunny. It wasn’t that they nagged him about her. It was nothing as open as that. But Steig had put up no protest when he’d fielded a lame excuse about the crew needing to have a little shore leave before they went back out and confronted the pirates. And Gemma merely nodded when he suggested that he was worried about having a major asthma attack if he didn’t spend a few days resting in port.
Aiden sighed and looked around the bridge. Was he the only person aware of how badly he was letting a woman interfere in an important mission? This was exactly why he’d sworn off women in general when he’d agreed to take Gemma’s experimental drugs and work in Jeff’s special unit.
It might be supremely rude of him to avoid Sunny by taking supper in his room, but he seriously needed to put some distance, both physical and emotional, between himself and her. He was supposed to be a man alone in the world, but here he was fretting about a girl. Aiden paced the master suite restlessly until his breathing started to tighten up and he was finally forced to lie down.
It was deep into the wee hours of the night when he woke up. He extended his senses outward into the room seeking what had disturbed his rest. There. A dark figure stood in the shadows by the door. His adrenaline surged in response to the threat, but the intruder did not move. His hand slid under his pillow
and grasped the wickedly sharp bowie knife hidden there.
“Who are you?” he demanded, coiling himself to leap out of bed and fight for his life.
“It’s me.”
Sunny. He’d know that honey-sweet whisper anywhere. The last time he’d heard it she’d been whispering her most secret desires in his ear while she did shockingly erotic things to his body, mind and soul.
“I didn’t mean to wake you up, Aiden. I’m sorry.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I was listening to you breathe.”
The candid innocence of her confession arrested him. As did the note of arousal in her voice. Listening to him breathe turned her on? All of a sudden, the pleasure she took in his most basic life function turned him on a little, too.
She added shyly, “I couldn’t sleep. I was worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” he mumbled roughly to cover up how shaken he was.
“Why didn’t you eat dinner with the rest of us?”
He should lie. Make some excuse like needing to rest or having work to do. But for some reason, when he opened his mouth, the truth came out. “After our last dinner together, I didn’t want to chance the same outcome.”
“A pirate attack?” she asked, sounding confused.
“No. What came after the attack.”
“Oh,” she said in a small, disappointed voice. “I thought—” She backed toward the door. “Never mind. I’ll go now.”
How was it he always seemed to say exactly the wrong thing around her? He surged up out of the bed to stop her. She cringed away from him and he realized belatedly he was brandishing a foot-long knife at her. It fell to the floor, its turning blade catching the faint moonlight seeping in around the curtains.
“Stay.” When was he going to get over his habit of giving orders like that? Berating himself, he added more gently, “Please.”
She paused in her headlong flight. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. I am. I’m glad you came.”
She perched on the edge of the bed while he paced. “Aiden, you confuse me worse than just about anyone I’ve ever met. I don’t know how to read you. One minute you’re pushing me away for all you’re worth, and the next, it’s almost like you’re...seducing me. Trying to draw me in.”
If she was half as confused as he was, then she had good reason for saying that. He sighed and shoved a distracted hand through his hair. “You’re not wrong.”
“What’s confusing you?” she asked.
He undoubtedly owed her more of an explanation than he’d offered her so far. He sighed. “I’m not...I wasn’t...a good person for most of my life. I was wild and irresponsible. I partied and slept around with pretty much anything female and willing.”
“You were a typical college coed, in other words?”
He smiled a little. “I was worse than most. I really was an ass. I’d like to say I was rebelling against something, but the truth is I wasn’t. I just didn’t want to step up to the family name and uphold the McKay tradition of public service.”
“What does this have to do with you and me?” Sunny asked.
“When Jeff Winston approached me a few years ago and invited me to—” Crud. He’d almost let his secret slip. She was so damned easy to talk to. Too easy. He took a deep breath and continued more carefully. “When he invited me to work for him, I knew it was my last chance to get my act together. I promised myself I’d change my ways. Become a better person.”
Her voice took on a subtle note of tension. “So you’re telling me I’m a mistake? A fallback to your old ways? I’m...convenient?”
“That’s exactly my problem!” he exclaimed.
She stood up, indignation painted on her shadowed features, and headed for the door. He lunged forward to grab her arm and stop her so she could hear him out. “Let me finish, Sunny. Please.”
She turned to face him but did not look happy.
“At first I was worried that I had slipped back into my old habits with you. To be perfectly honest, I haven’t been with a woman in two years.”
Her indignant look gave way to one of surprise. He’d been pretty damned surprised to find himself naked and in her arms, too.
He continued, “And then you came along. In one day, there we were on the floor of the salon together. And I panicked. I’d gone and done it again, in spite of my vow to myself not to be that guy anymore. I ought to stay the hell away from you, but I can’t. It’s like ice cream’s my favorite food in the entire world, and you’re a perfect banana split with all my favorite flavors and toppings, complete with whipped cream and a cherry on top.”
“So it’s my fault I tempted you?”
“No! It’s my fault for giving in.”
“Gee whiz, Aiden. I’m so sorry I had to go and nearly drown and inconvenience your life so badly.”
“That’s not it at all, Sunny. I’m confused. And believe me, for all those years I was such a ladies’ man, I was never confused. I knew exactly what I wanted.”
“But you don’t know now?”
“No. I don’t. But I do know I should back off until I figure it out.”
“And when will that be?”
“You want an exact date?” he asked, startled.
“That would be helpful.”
If only. He’d give anything to have a chance at a real relationship with her. But she deserved better than him. More of a man than him. Someone who could give all of himself, all of his humanity, to her. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured.
“You’re kind of pretty yourself,” she retorted.
He held his arms out to her and she flew into his embrace. It was a mistake as surely as he was standing there. But he could no more hold himself apart from her than he could hold back the flood of emotions she provoked in him. Nor could he hold back the raging need he had to lose himself in her and find himself again.
But holding her wasn’t enough. He needed naked flesh, warm and silken. He slipped off her oversize T-shirt, briefly annoyed to recognize it as belonging to Steig. He wanted her to wear his shirts, dammit. The unfamiliar flash of jealousy hitched at the sight of her bra, a sexy little scrap of black lace that fired his imagination.
Her palms smoothed across his chest and he caught himself holding his breath. Not a good idea on land. He didn’t want to pass out in the next few minutes. He exhaled carefully. And then she was leaning forward to kiss in the path of her fingers. She bent her legs, her mouth sliding down his torso. She reached his belly button and his stomach muscles contracted hard as she continued lower. As bold in love as she was at everything she did, she grasped his male parts and murmured in wordless approval as his flesh leaped to attention in her hand.
He lifted her easily in his arms, striding toward the bed with her. He lowered her to the mattress, following her down with his mouth already seeking hers. But she surprised him, sitting up and pushing his shoulders, rolling him over onto his back. Bemused, he gave in to the pressure. She threw a leg across his hips and straddled him, staring down at him warmly. Ahh, his wild mermaid was back.
The smile faded from her face and her eyes grew dark, smoky, as she gazed at him. “You are a temptation, Aiden McKay.”
“Look who’s talking,” he muttered back. “I have no place for you in my world, and yet, here you are. And I don’t want you to be anywhere else.”
“Where is this thing between us headed?” she asked reflectively.
“I have no idea. But shall we find out together?” He sat up, holding her in place on his lap. She really was a tiny little thing. But her personality was so big it was easy to forget. She fit him, though. She was soft where he was hard, curved where he was angular, welcoming where he was demanding.
“I can’t get enough of you,” he murmured.
“
I’m right here. All of me for the taking. I’m yours if you want me.”
He groaned, torn apart by her offer. He’d kill to take her up on it. He’d give up—
His lustful thoughts screeched to a halt. Would he give up everything for her? He didn’t even know if he could at this point. If he stopped the injections tomorrow, would his body eventually revert to normal or not? It was one of the unanswered questions of Gemma’s research. But beyond that, could he walk away from his duty, his social responsibilities? To leave behind the terrible isolation of his life...to feel the things she was offering him...to love...
Sunny squirmed impatiently in his lap, her hand going between them to grasp his raging erection. She guided him inside her and was suddenly moving on him and with him, ripping away all thought or reason from him. And all that was left was the feel of her internal muscles gripping him as strongly as she held his heart.
She was heat and lust and life, and she overwhelmed him completely.
With a groan he surged up into her, taking over the rhythm of their lovemaking with a vengeance. He flung himself into the abyss, and it was glorious. The endless fall into his own damnation was the sweetest thing he’d ever experienced. And his own personal angel took him there.
After the first time, he stunned himself by hardening again inside her. And whereas the last time it had been a frantic rush of hard-driving lust and wild surrender, this time was the opposite, all languorous kisses and long caresses. They found an easy rhythm as smooth and endless as the ocean’s waves.
Ahh, yes. Hell was sweet, indeed. He gorged himself shamelessly upon its false delight, for surely its price would be a bitter thing. But that was a meal for tomorrow. Tonight, he would savor her, come what may.
* * *
Sunny woke up alone in Aiden’s bed. The light streaming around the curtains announced it to be morning. She felt a little sore and in need of a soak in a hot bath, but oh, so very well loved. Last night had been...
There were no words for it. Incredible. Magical. Life changing. When Aiden had finally cut loose and come out from behind his shell, he’d absolutely blown her away. The man behind the mask was one of a kind.
