He pulled away suddenly to look at me, seemingly dizzy and dumbstruck as the pad of his thumb swept back and forth across my cheek. “I’m kissing you.”
My smile was slow and giddy. “Finally.”
“Finally,” he agreed, his smile growing to match mine.
His eyes searched every feature of my face in wonder. The way he looked at me, the unbridled desire in his eyes, filled me with awe. Nick wanted me. Like I was everything to him. It gave me the confidence to initiate another kiss.
Rising on my toes to reach him better, I kept my eyes locked with his until our lips touched. He groaned and scooped me up flush against him as our kiss gradually grew more consuming. Every nerve in my body hummed, driving me progressively closer toward some imaginary ledge. My breath quickened. My pulse raced. With every passing second, my body ached to feel his hands on me. Just in case he was too caught up in his own experience to notice my growing enthusiasm, I pressed my body more firmly against him and slid my arms around his neck, trying to get closer. Nick must have figured out my unspoken plea, for he cupped my bottom and guided me back toward the front door, trapping me there.
His thighs naturally settled between mine and he let out a guttural groan when our bodies connected through our clothes. From this new angle, I felt him rigid against where my body ached to feel him most, and maneuvered one of my legs up around his hips. His hand trailed up my thigh, pushing my dress up along the way, and he hitched me more comfortably against him. He slipped the straps of my dress off my shoulders, and I helped him push the garment down about my waist. The dress had a built-in bra, so I was bare underneath. Once he had my breasts free, his fingers molded over them and we both groaned. He studied me with a drunken glean in his eyes. “Holy Jesus, you feel like heaven, Lace.”
Overwhelmed and mind-numb to anything but the inferno raging in my body, I started unfastening his shirt and almost missed the slight curl of his lips as he watched me. “What?” I asked, panicked suddenly that I was doing something wrong.
In less than five minutes Nick had already pushed me well beyond the realm of anything my body had ever felt with Kevin, even in our most heated make-out sessions. I had always thwarted Kevin, but now that I wanted his brother, the physical part of a relationship was a new frontier for me. I had no idea what I was doing.
“I’m doing something wrong,” I said, mortified.
He chuckled as he nuzzled his nose against mine. “Absolutely not,” he murmured, calming my fears with a slow, restrained kiss that I knew was his attempt at trying to get things under control. “I just love that look in your eyes and knowing I put it there. Trust me, you’re doing everything exactly right.”
I smiled against his lips and finished unbuttoning his shirt, reveling in his firm body underneath. In reverent awe, I slid my fingers over his chest, the way I’d done in my mind a hundred times over the past few months. Only this was real. I was really touching Nick, and it was better than a million fantasies. I slowly trailed my fingers further down, through the sparse patch of dark hair at his navel. Biting my lip in nervous excitement, I moved my fingers to his belt buckle. He grabbed my wrists to stop me.
“Lace, don’t get me wrong because I’m seriously loving this, but we have birthday plans. If you keep this up, we’ll never get out of here.”
“I don’t care about my birthday,” I said, looking him right in the eyes so he would see I was serious. “I want this tonight.”
He looked shocked for a second. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“We don’t have to.”
“I know.”
“We can stop if you change your mind.”
“I know.”
“Are you sure?” he asked again, making certain I looked him right in the eye when I answered this time.
“You’re starting to make me think you don’t want to.”
I let out a small squeal when he stooped to sweep me off my feet, and nibbled kisses along his jaw as he carried me to the bedroom. Once he had me lying on the bed beneath him, he switched on the bedside lamp so we could see each other in its dim glow, and his lips returned to mine, where he mumbled, “Better?”
“Perfect,” I approved.
I made it a mission to finish removing his shirt and jacket, and he rose up on his knees to let me. He watched my face intently as I marveled at the sinewy muscles threaded along his arms, and the tight planes of his chest, the hard ridges up and down his stomach. My lips made a quest for the warmth of his throat, as my palms glided over his back, greedily memorizing each muscular ripple from his shoulders, all the way down to the frustrating barrier of his slacks. “You’re perfect. You feel perfect and taste perfect.”
“We’re perfect,” he said against my lips, as he maneuvered me back down to the pillow with a kiss. He let me help undo his slacks while we kissed, and we worked together to rid me of my dress. Seconds later, the garment joined his clothes on the floor. He took a moment to sit up and study me, trailing one hand all the way from my shoulder, down over one breast, over my stomach, and down to the lacy brim of my underwear. “You are the most exquisite thing in existence,” he said with quiet wonder. He met my eyes again. “You’re sure.”
After as many times as he had made me assure him already, I decided there was only one way to finally convince him.
I reached down and removed my panties for him. Then to further prove the sincerity of my claim, I hooked my finger into the elastic waist of his briefs, tugging gently downward. “Your turn.”
He grinned. “Look at you, Little Miss Brazen, after all these years of playing bashful,” he teased, as he obliged me by removing his underwear. He gave me only a short, thrilling moment to look at him before lowering me back down to the pillow. “That’s one of the things I love about you most. You never cease to surprise and amaze me.”
“It’s because I trust you. And because this is what I want and it feels right.”
It was the truth. The thought of being in this situation with Kevin had always terrified me. Being exposed and naked, both physically and emotionally, had left me feeling insecure and vulnerable to him. With Nick, it felt exhilarating.
“This is right. This is more than right. This is…” He leaned down to kiss my breast. “Perfect.” He kissed my other breast and whispered, “This is…” He nuzzled his lips directly over my heart and placed a kiss there. “Everything.”
“Everything,” I agreed when his lips came back to mine. Only this time, his kiss wasn’t gentle and languid, but rather a mutual giving and taking that was fierce and possessive in us both, as though we were claiming and branding each other. I belonged to him now, and he belonged to me, and we were sealing this unspoken deal with the feverish, kinetic urgency of thrashing tongues and breathy moans. After a few minutes, we finally had each other crazy and desperate for each other, and I knew it was time.
“I love you, Lace,” he said, staring straight into my eyes, sobering me with his solemn sincerity.
“I love you, Nick,” I said just as solemnly.
Then, in a gentle, careful movement, he made me his own, smothering my whimper of pain with his kiss, holding me protectively close while my body adjusted to him.
“You okay?”
“Yes.” In truth, it did hurt, but there was no way in the universe I was going to tell him because then he might stop. “You can keep going.”
“I need a minute. If I move right now, it’ll be over in two seconds flat.”
“We have all night for more, don’t we?”
He chuckled and smiled as he kissed the tip of my nose. “That we do.”
He shifted his weight on his elbows the slightest bit, and little jolts of electricity started in my core and worked inside out. Reveling in the sensation that was more pleasure than pain now, I grinned up at him. “You feel good inside me.”
“You feel good inside you,” he returned, with a fiendish gleam in his eyes.
“I’m one of your ‘Nick only’s’ now.”
He closed his eyes and swore, “Goddamn it, Lace.”
And then his urgent grip on my hip instantly tightened, and he began to move our bodies together as one.
Lacy
In a moment of quiet filled only with our labored breaths and pounding hearts, he pulled me close to him and kissed my temple. I closed my eyes, silently thanking Fate for giving me this moment. It seemed as though something more powerful than either of us had intervened on our behalf over that weekend so long ago. A weekend otherwise marked by sorrow and tragedy. God was indeed smiling down on me, blessing me with his divine intervention, giving me hope to make up for all the heartache I had endured to get here. Perhaps my mother even had a small hand in this night. As if to reinforce my epiphany, Nick broke the silence.
“Shit!”
He stiffened, and I rose up on my elbow to look at him. “What?”
He raked his fingers through his hair, his jaw muscle tense and twitching. “I didn’t use anything.” When he saw my shock, he went on to assure me. “I swear, Lace, I was always safe with her, and I tested clean after we broke up. The only thing we have to worry about is…”
A baby.
And a baby was indeed likely too. From everything I had ever learned from talking about such things with my mother, I was in the middle of my monthly cycle, when the chance was greatest.
Once I recovered from my initial shock, my mind drifted back to my mother yet again. This was how she had felt in my father’s arms. This warmth. This feeling of love. It drove her to make the same reckless choice I had just made. She had been willing to throw away a career that she wanted, just as I wanted my career and was willing to toss it to the wayside at that moment. She had wanted and loved my father so much that she had given up her dreams to be with him, without a backward glance of regret. I now understood how she could let such a thing happen. When she was in his arms, she had no doubt believed that nothing mattered except reveling in the love that resounded with every heartbeat and breath they shared. The way I felt in Nick’s arms at that moment.
“I don’t care,” I said honestly, kissing him with such fervor that he had no choice but believe me, and respond as ardently as I demanded.
“Are you sure?” he asked when he managed to free his lips from mine.
“I don’t care,” I whispered again. “I love you. I want this and everything that comes with it.”
“So do I,” he swore, brandishing me with another one of his earth-shattering kisses that immediately stoked the fire in us both yet again.
Nick
I woke to Lacy’s sleeping body curled up against mine. I lay still and quiet for a few minutes, relishing the feel of her smooth leg draped over mine, her arm around my waist, her cheek so warm against my shoulder. A thousand times I had fantasized about this moment, and it took a few minutes of staring down at her sun-kissed body in my arms to believe that the night before had really happened. Fate was shining down on us, rewarding me for my patience and perseverance!
The phone ringing stirred me from my musings. I tried to slide out of bed without disturbing her but failed.
“Where are you going?” she asked, looking up at me with a groggy frown.
“Phone. Go back to sleep,” I ordered, as I found my slacks from the night before on the floor and stepped into them. She smiled up at me as I arranged the covers over her and leaned down for a quick kiss. “Be right back.”
“Hurry,” she mumbled, snuggling under the bedding more comfortably.
“Hello,” I answered breathlessly, after running to reach the phone out in the kitchen.
“Hi, honey,” said my mother.
“Hey, Mom.”
“What happened? You missed Kevin’s birthday last night.”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry, Mom. Something came up,” I said, fighting back a snicker over my pun.
“I wish you’d try to drive over for a few hours today. I need to talk to you about something important.”
Thinking of Lacy waiting for me at that very moment, and knowing I intended to keep her in that bed for most of the day, I didn’t even bother with excuses. “I’m not going to make it home this weekend. Can’t you just tell me over the phone?”
She let out a weary sigh, as though she had expected my response. “Honey, I don’t know how to say this because I know Jerry has always been like a father to you, but we’ve just found out that he’s sick. It’s cancer, honey.”
I sat down in one of the kitchen chairs and closed my eyes, dreading the path this conversation would take me down, knowing I would have to lie my way through most of it.
“Are you there?” she asked when I sat in uneasy silence for a beat too long.
“Yeah. When did you find out?”
“Yesterday. It’s been obvious for a while now that something was wrong, but we were hoping it was just the drinking. Your father harped on him until he finally admitted it. What’s worse is that he’s known for quite some time now but refused any sort of treatment. Now it’s too late.” She broke off. I patiently waited for her to work through her tears and regain her composure. “At this point, his prognosis is grim. It’s likely he won’t make it more than another month or two. He’s been trying to manage on his own, but he’s to the point now where he’s going to need hospice care soon.”
I already knew all this. I had gone to check on Jerry myself the day before while everyone was at school and work, and saw firsthand how severely his condition had deteriorated over the past few weeks since my last visit. I had insisted he let me tell Lacy but, as usual, he had adamantly refused.
“It’s just a hectic time with finals coming up and trying to put the finishing touches on my senior project. I’ll try to come home and see him one day this week, Mom, I promise.”
“Please do, honey. Jerry’s like family, and he needs all of us to be there for him right now.”
After saying goodbye to my mother, I returned to the bedroom, where I found Lacy still snug under the covers. She opened her eyes when I came in.
“Good morning,” she said, with what I now knew was a deceptively bashful smile.
Lowering myself to the edge of the bed beside her, I leaned down to give her an innocent good-morning kiss that quickly turned fiery, leaving us both desperately fumbling to remove my slacks so we could make love yet again. Afterwards, we collapsed beside each other, sweaty and breathless.
“Holy cow!”
“You ain’t kidding,” I agreed, after my pulse slowed and I realized I wasn’t going to have a heart attack after all.
“So, what do you want to do today?” she asked after a few minutes, propping up on her elbow to face me.
“More of that,” I quipped. “And then as long we have food and coffee in the next half hour, I don’t care what else. And later this afternoon we can try your birthday date again, for real this time.”
Instead of moving to get back out of bed, I rolled over on my side to face her. We both grinned stupidly at one another for a few minutes, kissing each other affectionate little pecks on the nose and eyelids from time to time, lazily stroking each other just to confirm that we were both real, and that last night and this morning were indeed really happening. We were together.
Finally.
At last.
And now that we were, it was time to make her come clean so we wouldn’t be starting off with her secrets and lies still between us, regardless of my own.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the band?”
Her smile faded. “How did you know?”
“I was in there with Chris last weekend and saw you.”
She squirmed, refusing to meet my eyes. “I thought you’d be mad. I know you don’t like me hanging out with Alex, and I thought you’d say I was too young to be hanging out in clubs with him. My dad put you in charge of me, and if you didn’t like me doing it, you could make me quit.”
“And I probably would have,” I assured her. Putting up with Alex and the unknown status of their association had nearly driv
en me crazy.
“But the main reason is that I thought you would be disappointed in me.”
“Why would I be disappointed in you?” I asked, genuinely confused over such an unexpected admission.
Her bottom lip quivered and her eyes watered. “Kevin and I always used to fight about my music. He always said he thought I only wrote or played what I thought would make money. That the business would change me and turn me into someone he didn’t know. Alex’s music isn’t what I’d ordinarily play, but I like it, and I didn’t want you to think I was selling out the way I know Kevin would have.”
My gut clenched when a tear trickled from the corner of her eye, leaving a shimmering trail that disappeared into her hair.
“Oh, Lace,” I crooned, gathering her up warm against me, cupping her cheek to my chest when another of her tears slipped out to join the first. “I’m not Kevin, and I could never be disappointed in you.” And then, I amended my claim. “I take that back.”
She tipped her head back to look at me. “There’s one thing you need to know about me, Lace. I’ve wanted you for a while now, and you’ve made me jealous as hell of that Alex kid. If you want to keep playing in his band and staying out ’til all hours of the morning, I support you, but you’re going to have to change up your routine a bit now that we’re together.”
She studied me for a moment, then blushed as a smile spread across her lips. “We’re together? Like, together together?”
“Yes.”
“I like the sound of that,” she said, her shy grin turning into a full-blown smile. “I can’t believe you’re jealous of Alex.”
“I’m going to have to do bodily harm to the guy if I have to wait up for him to bring you home one more time. I’m staking my claim.”
Her eyebrow rose. “Is that so?”
“Yes.” And then I kissed her hard and long until her arms found their way up around my neck and she arched her body into mine. Tearing my lips from hers, I asked, “Have I made myself clear?”
“No. I think I need a little more clarification.”
Breaking Lacy (Nick & Lacy Book 1) Page 22
