He saw a chance at a future.
If they found Reese.
“We’ll find her,” Carla said, reading his mind, if not his heart.
Jackson scraped one hand across his face. “She could be anywhere.”
“There are a lot of us and only one of her.” She picked up her backpack and slung it over her shoulder. “We will find her.”
He hung on to her hand as if it was a lifeline tossed into a churning sea. “We have to.”
* * *
Have to hide. So Daddy can’t find me. So he can’t make me leave.
Tired, Reese stumbled slightly as she walked. Her legs hurt and her toes pinched in her Scooby-Doo tennis shoes. Beside her, Abbey whined, and she turned to look at the big golden dog.
Don’t be scared, Abbey. It’s just trees and rocks and probably no monsters. Monsters don’t come out in daytime, do they?
But if she was still hiding at nighttime, then what? Would there be monsters? Or a wolf that liked to gobble up little girls? Her tummy ached, partly ’cause she was hungry and partly ’cause she had a scary, icky feeling inside. Reese chewed on her bottom lip as her gaze moved over the trees. There was too many of ’em. She couldn’t see anything but trees. Turning in a slow circle, she wondered how she’d ever find her way back to Carla’s house when she was finished hiding.
Abbey poked a cold nose at her, pushing her head beneath Reese’s hand, hoping to be petted. Tiny fingers stroked her while the shadows played around them, and Reese wished her daddy was there. Then they could go back to Carla’s house together.
And Reese wouldn’t be so scared.
* * *
Hours later, Nick squinted into the afternoon sun, pushed the button on his walkie-talkie, and said, “Tony, this is Nick. Paul and I have covered most of the beach.…”
Static crackled, then his brother’s voice hissed at him, “Anything?”
Nick glanced up as Paul stepped out of the closest cove, shaking his head in disgust.
“Nothing.” Nick looked back over his shoulder at the beach they’d already searched. He and Paul had talked to every surfer, every tourist, on the sand. They’d shown everyone the picture of Reese that all of the search teams had been given, but no one had seen her.
Paul walked up to him. “Anybody else have any luck?”
Nick shook his head. “Tony? We’ll keep going. Still have some beach to cover and there’s the old cave.…” The one where the Candellano boys had played pirate games when they were kids.
“I remember,” Tony said. “Keep in touch.”
“Right.”
“Let’s go then,” Paul said as Nick hooked the walkie-talkie back to his belt. “If the tide comes in and she’s at the cave—”
“I know.” Nick scowled at the thought and the two of them hurried across the wet sand.
* * *
Tony walked the edge of the lake, wishing to hell somebody would find the kid. His walkie-talkie bristled regularly, but there was no good news.
Glancing to the edge of the water, he watched the reeds sway with the wind. Beneath the surface of the lake, he knew, the water was murky, the lake bottom covered in mud thick enough to snatch a man’s shoe off.
He didn’t like to think what could happen to a little girl who might stumble into it. Instantly, baby Tina’s tiny face rose up in his mind and a cold chill ran down his spine. Thank God his daughter was safe at home.
Damn, he felt sorry for Jackson right now.
* * *
“Where the hell is she?”
Carla’s own fears spiked at the worry in Jackson’s voice. She wished there was something she could say to help. Something she could offer him. But the truth was, she had nothing.
They’d been looking for hours and hadn’t found a trace of Reese. Carla’d used every trick she had at her disposal, but it hadn’t done any good. She’d checked for footprints; she’d examined bushes and low-hanging branches, hoping to find a trace of fabric or a strand or two of blond hair. But it was as if Reese and Abbey had just vanished.
Damn it.
Just like Jamie, a voice in her mind whispered, and she cringed from the words. No. It wouldn’t be like Jamie. Not this time. She wouldn’t let it be. Her heart ached and pain seemed a part of her now. But she wouldn’t give in to it. Wouldn’t surrender to the desperation clawing at her insides.
She couldn’t. Not if she expected to find Reese.
And she damn well would find her.
“I don’t know where she is,” Carla finally said, and came to a stop, swinging her backpack to the ground. Pulling her water bottle free of the pack, she took a long drink, pushed her hair back out of her eyes, and looked up at Jackson.
His features were tight, drawn in pain too deep for words. His blue eyes were narrowed as he continued to scan the woods even as he took a long drink of water himself.
They’d hardly spoken since they’d started searching. There hadn’t been time. Or breath to waste. And really, she thought, what was there to say? I love you? Not the time. Also not what he wanted to hear. She’d found that out last night. No, the only important thing now was Reese. Her safety.
Wounded hearts and feelings really didn’t stack up against a child’s life. Carla fought down a thread of panic that began to unwind in the pit of her stomach, sending small curls of terror throughout her body. Fear wouldn’t help. It would only make her second-guess herself. And she couldn’t afford that.
Especially now.
Now when memories of Jamie were darting around the edges of her mind, looking for a way in.
Reese needed her.
And Carla would not fail.
Not this time.
“I’m going nuts here,” Jackson muttered.
“I know.” It had been two years since she’d done this. Since she’d had to try to hold up a net of hope beneath a parent tumbling down a slope of misery.
And this time, she needed that net as much as Jackson did.
“It’s early yet,” she said, refusing to give in to the fear scratching at the base of her throat.
“Early?” He tossed the bottle back into his pack. “She’s six years old. She’s been missing for nearly five hours.” He waved a hand, encompassing the surrounding trees, the shadowed spots beneath the low branches, the leaf-littered ground, and the seemingly endless nooks and crannies where a child could hide. “She’s wandering around out here. Alone.”
“She’s not alone,” Carla reminded him. “She’s got Abbey with her, and that dog will give her life to save Reese.”
“Yeah.” He sucked in and blew out a breath. “That’s something.” His jaw twitched and she could see the effort he was putting out to keep from howling in frustration. “How in the hell will we ever find her?”
The pain in his voice, the agony in his eyes, tore at her heart. She could no more have stayed away than she could have stopped breathing. Stepping in close, Carla wrapped her arms around his waist, splaying her hands against his back, and held on until he reacted, holding her tightly to him. Resting her head on his chest, she listened to the pounding beat of his heart, savored the feel of his arms around her, and whispered, “We’ll find her because we have to. Because she needs us.”
He sighed and his breath ruffled her hair. “It’ll be dark in a few hours. What then?”
“Then we use flashlights,” she said simply, and tipped her head back to stare up at him. “We don’t stop. Ever. Not until she’s safe.”
Jackson looked down into her eyes and saw the worry, the panic, shining there. But he also saw determination and a glint of pure steel. She wouldn’t give up on someone she loved. It wouldn’t occur to her. And he silently thanked whatever fates had sent him here, to Chandler.
To Carla.
“If I didn’t have you with me right now,” he admitted, releasing his grip on her waist long enough to reach up and stroke her cheek, “I’d be more lost than Reese.”
“Jackson…”
“It’s true.”
He’d taken from Carla, giving nothing back, and excused it all by holding Reese out in front of him like a shield. He’d hidden behind his past, his child, and his own fears.
And in that blindingly clear instant, Jackson wondered how he’d ever believed he could leave Carla. The thought of never seeing her again opened up a black, deep hole inside him that shook him to his bones. The idea of living his life without her in it was unthinkable.
Unimaginable.
Those dark brown eyes of hers looked straight into his soul and somehow saw beyond all the bullshit to the man he really was and … God help her, she loved him anyway.
How could he leave when the very thought of being without her was enough to steal the air from his lungs?
I love her.
Those three little words bounced in his mind like a Super Ball on steroids. Every little corner of his brain lit up when the words hit, until the inside of his head felt like a pinball machine on Tilt.
Well, he’d picked a helluva time to see the light. But now that he had, he knew he had to tell her.
“This isn’t the right time,” he said, his gaze moving over her features like the softest caress, “but you need to know something.”
“You don’t have to say anything.”
“I was an idiot last night.”
“That’s not important now.”
“Yeah, it is. You took me by surprise, Carla. I never thought I’d … care so much for someone.”
She flinched at the word care and Jackson saw it. And he couldn’t blame her. Care was a pretty weak word to describe how he felt about her. He hadn’t meant to confess anything to her now. But suddenly, in the midst of this confusion, this worry, it seemed more important than anything to get the words said. The right words.
“I love you,” he said, and watched her eyes widen, darken, then dim slightly with a sheen of tears she frantically tried to blink away. “You are the missing piece in the jigsaw puzzle that is my life. Without you, there’s no completion.”
Pulling back, she shook her head as she reached for her backpack. “Jackson, you don’t have to—”
“Yeah,” he said, reaching out to grab her upper arm in a tight fist. Swinging her around to face him, he said quickly, “Yeah, I have to. I have to tell you now. Before we find Reese, so you’ll know that it isn’t gratitude talking.” She flinched at the word gratitude and he remembered why. “I do love you, you know. You sneaked up on me, Carla. I wasn’t looking for you. Hadn’t planned on you, God knows. But suddenly there you were and it threw me.”
She inhaled sharply and blew the air out in a rush.
“I’ve spent the last year concentrating on Reese. And before that, there was Diane. I thought I loved her once, you know? And I watched that feeling disintegrate into nothing more than irritation.”
“This isn’t the time to—”
“Yeah, it is,” he insisted, wanting to say it all. To make sure she understood. “Jesus, now more than ever is the time. I finally figured out how important it is to say what you’re feeling when you’re feeling it. When Diane died, I realized that life could be over in a heartbeat. Go out for breakfast and be dead by lunch. So whatever we say, whatever we don’t say, matters. It matters so damn much, Carla. It’s all that does matter.” Grabbing her other arm, he pulled her close to him again until their bodies pressed together in a way that made him want to hold her even closer. “I love you and I need you to know that—before we continue this search.”
“I love you, too.” There were tears in her eyes as she said the words, making them that much more precious.
“I’m counting on that,” he said.
“We will find her, Jackson.”
God, he needed to believe her. And right at that moment, he did feel as if they could accomplish anything as long as they were together. “You’re right. We will. And when we do, there are some things I have to do. I have to do whatever I can to help Reese.”
“I know that.”
“I’ll still have to take her back to Chicago. To see the doctor the Barringtons have found.” He shook his head. “They’re rotten human beings, but in their weird way, they’re concerned about Reese. They wouldn’t settle for less than the best in a doctor.”
She nodded. “Of course they wouldn’t.”
He slid his hands up her shoulders until he was cupping her face in his palms. His gaze locked on her, and he knew in that instant he would always see her as she was this moment. With tears shining in her eyes and the wind tossing her dark curls into a black halo around her head. And he made a promise, for the first time in he couldn’t remember how long.
“When Reese is well … when she’s come all the way back to me … to us … I’ll be back.”
She smiled up at him and nodded again. “Damn right you will.”
He bent his head and kissed her gently, briefly, and even at that, a sizzle of heat shot through him as surely as a lightning strike would have.
“Jackson,” she whispered, then stopped. Jerking her head around to the right, she held her breath, stared off into the distance, and listened.
“What is—”
“Shh,” she ordered, then added, “listen.”
He did, straining with everything in him, and that’s when he heard it.
A dog.
Barking.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
JACKSON TENSED AND LISTENED again. A dog’s bark. Faint. At a distance. Abbey?
Coming from where?
“Damn it.” He turned his head, trying to pinpoint a direction. “Sounds like it’s coming from everywhere at once.”
“No,” Carla said, grabbing the backpack and slinging it over her shoulders. “It’s coming from there.” She pointed, then set off, not bothering to see if he’d follow. She knew he would.
Grabbing his own pack, Jackson hitched it onto his back and in a few quick strides caught up to her. “How can you tell?”
“Experience?” She hurried her steps, listening, concentrating. “Instinct? I just know.”
“Works for me,” Jackson muttered, and focused on staying beside her when his instincts were screaming at him to run. Logically, he told himself that it could have been any dog. It didn’t have to be Abbey. But it was and he knew it. Felt it. Which meant that Reese was close, too. Hang on, baby. Daddy’s coming.
They moved deeper into the trees, where the wind didn’t reach, where the air was so still, it felt as though God Himself was holding His breath. Summer heat dripped down Jackson’s back in long lines of sweat, but he hardly noticed. Their footsteps beat out like crazed heartbeats against the leaf- and pine-needle-littered ground. He tried not to think about his little girl, hungry, scared, and unable to shout for help.
He shot a glance to his left and briefly studied Carla’s profile. Her gaze narrowed, jaw set, she looked intense, determined, and he felt better just knowing she was beside him.
“Stop.” She held her arm out to one side, slapping him in the chest.
He froze in place, bowing to her experience, though it cost him. His daughter was out there … somewhere, and he wanted—needed—to get to her. His arms ached to hold her again. Now. This patience thing had never been a big part of his personality and now was no different. Then again, he’d learned a lot these past few weeks with Reese. He’d learned that waiting sometimes brought you what you wanted most, so he forced himself to be still. To be patient, to see what came next, even while he mentally willed Carla to hurry.
Hurry.
His own breathing sounded unnaturally loud in the tense quiet. But then, every sound was magnified. The papery rustle of the leaves overhead. The slide of Carla’s tennis shoe against the earth as she shifted position slightly.
“There it is again,” she whispered, more to herself than him, and started moving at a fast jog. “This way.”
“Right behind you.”
Carla’s senses were on full alert. This was different from a few weeks ago, when she’d walked around with Jackson, looking
for that missing man. She was different. She’d faced her demons. Put them behind her instead of holding them close enough to drag her down. She’d admitted to her failures and vowed to start again. Today, she was using every ounce of her skill. Every trick she’d ever picked up on disaster sites. And making up a few new ones as she went. Today, she was searching not only with her eyes, but with her heart.
She felt Jackson’s rising sense of urgency and sympathized, though she wouldn’t encourage it. Right here, right now, she was the expert; he was the parent. She needed to keep him calm. Hell, they both needed to be calm. Focused. Later, when Reese was safe, then they could each take the time to quietly fall apart.
The distant barking was closer now, yet at the same time, it sounded fainter, weaker. And so damn familiar. Abbey. Another twinge of worry settled around her heart, this one not for the child, but for the dog. At her belt, the walkie-talkie bristled and hissed like a nest of snakes. But she didn’t have time to snatch it free and call to anyone.
Right now, the most important thing was to reach Reese. And Abbey. Later, there’d be time to assess the situation and call in to base to alert everyone else and get help if they needed it.
Carla sprinted forward, running through the trees, not concerned at all about Jackson keeping up. His footsteps pounded out behind her like a reassuring heartbeat in the night. While she ran, her mind clicked off landmarks, pinpointing their location. She heard the dog again and turned left, heading down a leafy slope, toward the huge, jagged pile of stones known to the locals as Castle Rock. Carla gasped and stopped dead.
Jackson ran smack into her and they both staggered. Then he looked beyond her and in an instant pushed past her.
“Reese!”
The little girl looked up at them with tears streaking down her dirty face. Her overalls were ripped and torn, black dirt staining the knees. Leaves and dirt dotted her hair and her bottom lip was bleeding. She sat on the ground, at the base of the rocky structure, Abbey’s head in her lap.
Finding You Page 26
