by Eva Delaney
So, I switched tactics. Maybe I could get him to reveal a hint of something deeper and more extensive if I didn’t ask what he was expecting.
“Antares…what is your biggest regret?”
He blinked. Fan-fucking-tastic. I caught him by surprise.
“Just one?” he said with that usual grim expression.
“As many as you want to share,” I forced an edge to my voice. “At least one.”
“I regret not leaving the Supremacy sooner,” he said.
“Fuck, you’re not going to expand on that?” I said. “Why were you with them? Why did you finally leave?”
“I told you that already. I joined them because they were there and no one else was. Left due to conscience.”
A muscle in my jaw twitched.
“It’s not that I lie,” he said. “It’s that nobody believes me.”
“It’s that you don’t tell us enough to know if we should trust you,” I said. “Your story could mean anything.”
“The past is not who you are now,” Po said, softly.
I narrowed my eyes but said nothing. I wasn’t who I used to be; neither was Po. Maybe Antares deserved that same benefit of the doubt.
But I didn’t want to give it to him.
Orion won the next hand. I grinned. Antares was fucked.
But Orion didn’t turn to Antares. He leaned past me to point at Polaris instead. “Something I’ve been wondering, Polaris. You act so sweet and innocent all the time. Is that all an act? Are you a virgin?”
Polaris’s eyes went wide as jumpgates.
Was he doing this out of vengeance because he had seen me and Po having fun? Polaris was too sweet for this rude nonsense that us military types were used to. He didn’t deserve this. “Orion!” I said. “Pick another question.”
“It’s okay,” Po said, always putting on a brave face and trying to be one of us. “I’m not. I had a girlfriend back home….” he stared down at his hands. “She was beautiful and charming and…dangerous. Too much for me.”
I eyed him. Something in his tone was strange, hinting at regret or anger. I couldn’t place it. I wasn’t used to hearing anything negative in Polaris’s voice.
I shifted a bit closer against him, though our legs were already pressed together, to offer a bit of comfort. Po’s mouth quirked almost into a smile.
“What happened to her?” Hamal said.
Polaris shook his head. “Too many questions,” he whispered, so quietly I barely heard him.
Antares watched Polaris with his brows furrowed. I would never have expected those two to get along.
“It’s okay, Polaris,” Antares said gently and started shuffling the cards.
After Po’s admission, the room was quiet as we played the next hand. I shot Orion an angry glare for picking on Polaris. He kept his gaze fixed on his cards and his shoulders hunched.
Antares won that hand. I sighed. He was going to mess with someone now.
“Hamal,” he said. “Have you ever wanted to kiss Orion?”
I raised my brows as Hamal sputtered. His warm brown eyes widened with panic. He looked to Orion and back to Antares, who kept his expression flat as he waited.
“These types of questions are intrusive and inappropriate,” I said.
“Are you afraid of the answer?” Antares said.
“I haven’t…I mean, not recently, no,” Hamal said.
“What?” Orion and I said at the same time.
“We were sharing Rose at the same time, so I did think about it, but that was nine years ago, before Calpurnia.”
Orion’s mouth fell open.
“I know you don’t…you know…like it that way,” Hamal said, staring down at the table.
“We’re not blood, but you’re my brother,” Orion said flatly.
“I would never…it was just passing thoughts,” Hamal said, running a hand over his face. “I never planned to actually do anything.”
My heart constricted. Not because Hamal liked Orion—why shouldn’t he? But because Antares might have made their friendship awkward, a friendship that had lasted a decade and that was keeping Orion safe and sane.
Antares shot a quick smile at Polaris. “I got you.”
Shit, this was vengeance for Orion picking on Polaris. Antares was looking out for him—and fucking up my crew at the same time. Fucking up Orion.
“Okay,” I said, gathering up the cards to shuffle them. “Shit is real now,” I narrowed my eyes at Antares.
“It’s okay,” Orion said, running a hand through his curly hair. “You’ve been my brother for years, Hamal. Nothing changes that.”
Hamal heaved a sigh.
Orion forced a cocky grin. “Who can blame anyone for wanting this?”
I chuckled out of relief.
Orion stood and reached his arm across the table. “Brothers, always.”
Hamal smiled his warm smile that crinkled his eyes as he grasped Orion’s forearm. “Brothers,” he agreed.
Orion shot Antares a smug look as he sat back down.
I dealt the cards to distract them and to get back at Antares. I was getting info from him one way or another.
Antares won the next hand with a perfect flush.
“Fuck,” I said.
“Rux,” he said, turning to the gruff man next to him.
Oh, good. If anyone should be fucked with it was Antares and Rux. “Ask about those partners,” I said. “Or where he’s from or why he’s angry.”
“Which crew members do you have sexy thoughts about?” Antares said.
I sighed. “Stop it.”
“Nah,” he said.
The kissing contest might have done less harm to the crew than this nonsense. This wasn’t helping his argument that he was on our side and not here to fuck up the team and the mission. Maybe this was his reason for being here: to divide and conquer from the inside.
Rux sneered at him, his lip curling. “You can’t make me answer that.”
“So, you do have sexy thoughts about someone here,” Antares said.
Rux’s gaze met mine, his angry eyes going soft for a fraction of a second, so quick that I wondered if I imagined it. He turned back to Antares.
“If you don’t answer, you lose the game,” Antares said.
“I rather not sleep than play your bullshit.” Rux crossed his arms.
Antares shrugged. “We have our first loser. Next hand.” He shuffled the cards and dealt—and won.
“The fuck?” I said.
Hamal tossed his cards down and half turned away from the table. The sweet doctor had never been upset with any crew member before.
“What kind of underwear does everyone wear?” Antares said, looking around.
“You only get to ask one person,” I said.
“Fine,” he said, his dark eyes landing on me. They glinted with unspoken thoughts, and he smirked slowly.
Against my better judgment, it made my heart flutter.
“Firebrand, what kind of underwear do you have on?”
“A kind that you can’t get into,” I said.
“I like a challenge,” Antares said, his grin never faltering.
I gathered the cards before he could, shuffled, and dealt. Antares won.
He set his gaze on Orion who tensed against me. Antares grinned like a predator.
“Stop causing trouble,” I warned him.
“Nobody is this good at poker.” Rux eyed Antares, who glanced back with his usual impassive expression. “Are you cheating?”
“You have to win a hand to ask me that,” Antares said.
“So the answer is yes,” Rux said.
Antares shrugged.
I sighed. Of course he was cheating.
Rux slammed his palm into the table. “Asshole.”
“How else do you play cards?” Antares said.
“Honestly,” Rux said.
Antares looked at him like he had gone mad. “No card games are honest. You hide your hand, you lie about how good
it is, you play the people around you. Cheating is how you win.”
Everyone gaped at him.
“How do you cheat?” I said.
“I’m good with my hands,” Antares said, licking his lips as his gaze landed on me.
I crossed my arms. He wasn’t going to derail me.
“Don’t be angry because I’m better at this than you are,” he said, looking at each of us.
“Can we trust anything you do or say?” I said.
Antares blinked at me as though surprised by that. Why should he be? “I cheat, but I don’t lie.”
“That’s the same thing!” Rux and I snapped at the same time. Our gazes met for a quick silent moment, stunned that we agreed on something.
I broke the gaze. “I say you teach us all how to cheat, then we’ll start a new game.”
“Always into the unsavory arts, Firebrand?” Antares said with a smile.
I glowered at him. I hated the reminder that unlike everyone else here, we were used to the criminal parts of life.
“We should banish him from the game,” Rux said.
Antares scoffed.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Fuck this shit,” I said. I tried making things fair and this was what happened: Antares fucked it up, and the others wouldn’t agree to roll with it.
“I’m taking the bed because I’m the commander. Orion is too because he’s second-in-command. Rux and Hamal, you take turns watching Antares and the guards.”
Antares shot me an angry look. “Remember, Firebrand, you’re alive and free because of me.”
I didn’t even bother to look at him as I stood and left the kitchen. He was right. He was keeping us alive and safe—and I still didn’t know why, because he also kept messing with us. The game was supposed to bring the crew together and instead, Antares used it to pull us apart.
But he had also stood up for Polaris.
The bounty hunter was such a mix of helpful and asshole that I never knew what to think of him.
Worse, Rux might have admitted to having the same thoughts about me that the other men did. I hoped I had imagined that, and I hoped I hadn’t. The memory of that fleeting look of tenderness made my skin feel hot and tingly.
Chapter 20
Orion said nothing as he curled up on one side of the large bed. His brown curls spilled onto the white sheet, and my fingers itched to stroke them back behind his ear.
My mind overflowed with all the things I wanted to say to him: Why was he acting jealous? He had to respect boundaries. But I also wanted to tell him I was sorry. The deep scars he carried from his time in prison were my fault. The Uprising had framed him, and I had failed to rescue him. The person he loved the most and the organization he had devoted his life to had left him to languish in prison.
“Do you want to talk about…anything? Everything?” I said quietly so the others in the corridor wouldn’t hear.
He shook his head.
I should say something to ease his pain before anyone stole our moment of privacy—and I wanted to give him a stern talking to about his behavior. But I didn’t know what to say that would make things better.
So, I settled onto the bed tucked against him, our backs touching. Chaste. Even so, he was warm as home.
All I could do was lay next to him and hope that was enough.
I listened to Orion’s breaths and imagined him panicking in a tiny cell, like the one Castor had locked me in a week ago. If Lady Camilla found out who we really were, I didn’t know if I could protect my crew against her massive fleet. I imagined Polaris hooked up to a mind melter, slowly going mad as they extracted The Uprising’s computer codes from him. Hamal’s kind brown eyes full of pain and despair as they left him to die in solitary.
Antares…I didn’t know what would happen with Antares if we were captured. He knew Castor, but I couldn’t pin down how or why.
Rux would probably keep shooting until they killed him on the spot.
I was afraid. Terrified, really, that I couldn’t keep them safe.
Things were simpler when it was just my Firebrand and me with the memory of my sister. But things were lonelier too. A world that was just the echo of my own voice rather than the deep calming sound of Orion’s breath or Hamal’s laughter or Po’s soft, nervous voice.
At some point, I dozed off.
The smell of sandalwood filled my awareness while I was still half-asleep. I breathed deep, savoring it. It felt safe, familiar, and drew me slowly and softly out of dreamless darkness.
I cracked open my eyes. The light from the bedroom’s walls was dim and growing. Early morning by the ship’s sleep-wake cycle. Someone was curled up on the very edge of the bed, as though he wanted to give me space. I waited for my eyes to adjust and saw thick black hair above a wrinkled hoodie that he had been wearing since Vinera.
Polaris. He was facing away from me. It was his scent that had drawn me back to the waking world.
I had to get away from these men. I groaned, rolled over, and sat up.
Hamal was asleep on the floor next to the bed, stretched out so he took up most of the space. I glanced around. No one else was in the room.
That meant Antares and Rux were watching the controls together. Alone.
“Fuck,” I said.
“What is it?” Orion sat up, instantly awake. That was the Orion I knew. Always ready for action.
On my other side, Polaris sighed and stretched his legs.
“Antares and Rux are alone.” I cocked my head. The ship was silent. “And it’s quiet. Too quiet. They might have killed each other.” I wasn’t sure if I was joking or not.
“That would have been noisy,” Orion said, nodding to the open door to show that we would have heard a fight. “Neither of those two go down easy.”
“What about the other option?” Po whispered, still turned away from me.
“What other option?”
He shrugged. “That…umm…Antares won him over?”
I laughed. That would never happen.
“That would have been even nosier,” Orion said.
“Sometimes people surprise you in…private,” Polaris said, sitting up on my other side. Again, I was nestled between them, their warmth seeping into me and making my skin itch for their touch.
Yep, I had to get out of here.
“You like that, don’t you?” Antares said from somewhere in the ship.
My heart did backflips. Were Antares and Rux finally…getting along?
I shared a glance with Orion. He shrugged. “Commanders first.”
I stood and stepped off the end of the bed. Hamal was still asleep on the floor; he must be a deep sleeper.
“Don’t go. Let them be,” Polaris whispered.
I had to know what was happening.
I stepped into the ship’s corridor and looked to the cockpit. Empty. I looked the other way to the kitchen where someone was making a slobbering sound.
Orion stepped into the hall next to me and we exchanged a glance. I took a deep, steadying breath and walked into the kitchen.
Rux and Antares sat at the small round table. Mr. Pancake stood on Antares’s lap as he fed the little dog pieces of pancake off his plate. The dog slobbered and wagged his tail.
“Yes, Mr. Chubby Fuzzy likes that, doesn’t he?” Antares cooed.
I sighed in relief—and disappointment. They weren’t fucking.
“Why did you name the dog after pancakes?” Rux said.
“I like pancakes,” Antares deadpanned.
“Waffles are superior! They have little rooms for syrup.”
“Cells, you mean. I like my syrup how I like my people: Free to run anywhere it likes.”
Something in me fluttered; people free to run anywhere. “Yes,” I muttered despite myself. I shook my head. “That was one way that smuggling was better than the air force: more wandering and freedom.”
“You should try being a hunter,” Antares said. “You meet delightful people.” He gave me a smile.
/> My pulse raced, and I looked away from him to Orion as he poked his head into the kitchen. “Thank the stars you’re not….”
“What?” Rux said.
“Never mind. Hey, pancakes!” Orion rushed to the counter.
“Should have made waffles,” Rux grumbled and crossed his arms. As he did, a ripping sound filled the kitchen. “Shit, not again.” He twisted to look over his shoulder. I caught a glimpse of a tear in the back of his t-shirt.
Antares smirked and I laughed.
“Castor and his gunners are small men,” Rux grumbled.
“Maybe you need to lose weight,” I said to piss him off. In truth, Rux was all muscle.
He curled his lip. “You’ve already had a close look at me. You know what I got.”
“Everyone does,” Orion said, crossing the room to wrap an arm around my shoulders. I took the plate of pancakes from his other hand and slipped away to eat in peace.
After breakfast, I had the first shift watching Antares and the Supremacy docking bay. I stepped into the cockpit to find that Lady Camilla had left a company of guards behind. They stood in perfect formation before our ship, watching.
I gulped. She didn’t trust us. Was she playing us? Was Antares?
The comms flashed, yet again.
Antares heaved a sigh as he plopped into the co-pilot’s chair. “I better flirt. We’ll need her to turn off the tractor beam when we reach Etrea.”
“No blowing shit up,” I said, referring to one of our first conversations.
“That’s why I hate this.”
I couldn’t help but grin at that. As much as I wanted to hate this bounty hunter, I couldn’t always manage it. His recklessness spoke to the part of me that liked flying through asteroid fields for fun.
“Make sure you sound sick,” I told him.
Antares flicked on the comms and put on his best Castor voice. “My love, your continued presence is healing my sickness.”
I gagged and Antares smiled at me as though he agreed.
“You need a better line, my prince,” Lady Lovey-Love said. She wasn’t impressed.
How much of her worrying over fake Castor was political and how much was sincere?
“How about this?” Antares said, pausing to cough and gag. “Some women are like stars seen through a ship’s viewport: Faraway and cold. Some are like suns as seen from a planet’s surface: Warm and bright only for those who are close by. And some, some are pure fire.”
