His lips left hers to kiss the tip of her nose, the top of her lashes, and down to her ear where he breathed against her. She shivered in his arms. It had been so long since a man had totally dominated her. The old feelings of lust climbed inside her. She fought her emotions. One part of her wanted the excitement, the thrill of being in Dillon's wild arms. The other told her it would be futile as long as he felt the way he did.
His hands wandered, cupping her breast against the material of her dress. She moaned aloud as his thumb circled her nipples through the material and he pulled her ever closer, thinking she accepted his dominance.
"I want you… now…" he whispered.
She gasped and pulled out of his arms. What had she done? One kiss and she was putty in Dillon's arms. Had she lost her mind? This wasn't love, and for the first time, she could see the difference. This was lust!
"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have allowed you to do that," she stammered, her cheeks burning hotly. "I should be slapping your face."
"Why don't you?"
"Because I asked for that. I did. I'm not proud of it either. And a romp in the hay is not what I'm after, Dillon."
He shook himself. "Sorry, I should have had more control. What do you want—marriage? I can deal with that."
"You sound like it's some kind of jail sentence."
"Not with you. You and I belong together. You like Harry, but it's me you want."
His words stunned her, and she pulled away, backing away from him with tears in her eyes.
"To be truthful, I forgot myself. I do know what I want, Dillon. This isn't the time to make decisions and declarations. I've been through an emotional upheaval, and you are taking the advantage of that."
He frowned at her.
"We better get some sleep." She turned to go lay down once more. She had to stay away from Dillon. He was simply too powerful, and her feelings were all mixed up right now.
He pulled her arm so she turned to look at him once more. "You know I'm in love with you. And I haven't said that to any woman before."
"Y-yes, I think I do…But out here, like this. That's not love, it's lust. And I know the difference."
"And you. How do you feel?" Staring into her eyes, he pulled her unresisting body against his once more. She felt herself melting into the man, weakening.
But her words stopped him. "I like you."
"Like?" he repeated. "You kiss a man like that and tell him you like him?"
"I didn't mean to lead you on, Dillon. It's just when you kiss me like that…"
His brows knitted. "You are a real lady, and I sometimes look at you and forget myself. I'm sorry. You aren't used to a man manhandling you. I should have known. You just tempt a man to lose his head is all. The way you respond in my arms is one thing. Like you've done it a million times before…"
Jo Ella pinked. He was so close to the truth it hurt!
As she lay down once more and began to control her feelings, she realized the truth. "I'm in lust with you," she whispered to herself.
Lust wasn't what she wanted in life. She'd already had a lifetime of lust. She had to keep her priorities right. Lust and love were two entirely different things. And she suddenly knew the difference.
Dillon was a good kisser. He could make her forget about her plans of becoming a real lady. He could make her forget that she had a past even. He was a force unto himself, and somehow she had to keep the upper hand. For it was certain he wanted to control her, and she'd be a slave to her own lustful self.
Chapter Seventeen
Maggie hugged her. "What on earth happened? You must tell us everything. We've been worried out of our minds for you. And to think Dillon brought you home! How on earth did that happen?"
Jo Ella moved away to look at her and all the others. "He joined up with Harry before they found me. He came after me. Harry wanted Dillon to bring me home."
"How romantic for you. Two heroes." One of the girls giggled.
"Yes, and Harry is out there now, chasing those outlaws alone. I'm so worried about him."
Maggie watched her for a moment. "You sure didn't look worried to me when Dillon kissed you goodnight on the steps last night. That wasn't some peck on the cheek kiss, and the whole town could have seen you. Has he given you a ring and asked you to marry him?"
Jo Ella remembered the kiss well. She actually tingled when he touched her. And half the town could have seen them, that was true.
"He's such a hero." Sarah smiled at her. "Any girl would lose their head. And so handsome."
"Most would, I agree, but I didn't expect Jo Ella to swoon over him." Maggie pursed her lips. "She's the strong one of this bunch, or the least to have stars in her eyes I thought. You're in love with Dillon, aren't you?"
Jo Ella took note of the disappointment in her voice. She wanted to deny it, but a part of her couldn't. Dillon had woven a magic out there in the night. In his arms, she felt helpless but to respond. God help her!
She could feel her cheeks color bright red. "Would that be so bad?"
"I don't know. You tell me." Maggie's brows met.
"I think it was the moment. Things have been happening so fast. I'm not sure how I feel." The honest truth. Yes, Dillon stirred something primitive in her, that she could not deny, but on other levels, they were worlds apart. She didn't agree on his vendetta. She didn't like the fact that Dillon thought her his property. And yet, when he kissed her, she lost her head and she nearly was his to do with as he pleased.
"I was afraid this would happen." Maggie flopped on the bed. "Dillon swoops in and takes all the glory for this, and you let him. What is the difference in Dillon and Randal? They both wanted to control you."
"What?" Jo Ella asked. What was Maggie saying? And was it true? She was so tired and frustrated.
"Honey, your plan to come here and marry was a good one. You wanted men to quit treating you like their property and start treating you like a lady. You wanted to improve yourself, your life. Giving in to your baser needs is not improving, Jo Ella. We came here to find husbands, good solid men who would provide for us, protect us, and take us away from what we once were. It gives us all a chance at a better life. But loving two men at the same time, in the same town, with the same objective won't work. You are ruining your own plans. I've seen Dillon. He's a man who takes what he wants. And he wants you. Harry has staying power. He's steady, responsible, and handsome as the devil. He's also not frivolous. Right now, you are a novelty to Dillon and it intrigues him. But what happens when the intrigue dies? What will he do then? That kind of fire doesn't last forever."
Jo Ella stared at her friend. "Like I said, it was the moment. That's all."
"Somehow even though you keep saying that, I'm not sure you mean it. Are you sure you aren't missing the old life?" Maggie countered. "Because when you came in last night, you had stars in your eyes."
If any other girl had asked that question, she would have been tempted to slap their faces. But Maggie was blunt and always hit on the truth of the matter. Jo Ella couldn't deny some of it. Lust played a heavy roll with Dillon.
"I’m not sure yet."
"Honey, all I can say is, you better get sure pretty quick, because I don't think Harry Jones is the kind to wait around for you to find out. You could lose the best thing you ever had."
"I don't have anything with Harry but a few stolen kisses. He's never offered marriage or a future of any kind. He's never even said he loves me. Dillon says he loves me and even mentioned marriage."
"Mentioned it. That's how important it was to him. The price he'd pay to get you in his bed. Don't we all know that kind? Don't kid yourself. Dillon is exciting. He's everything Harry isn't. But what makes you think he'd settle down, have kids, and stay home with you afterward? Do you honestly think you could tame a man like that?"
"Harry hasn't even said he loves me," Jo Ella cried out in defense. "Haven't you been listening?"
"Then maybe I’m already too late to advise you." Maggie turned away
from her as though disgusted. She threw her laundry on her bed, not caring that it would wrinkle like that. "Because sending you home safe with Dillon sounded like a real declaration. He was thinking of you all the time."
"I don't know. I just don't know."
~*~
The next day, Dillon came to Ma's with a buggy.
Ma Jones let him in and she scowled at him. "Why didn't you stay and help Harry?" she demanded.
"He didn't want my help. Thinks he going to bring those men in alive. I think he's crazy." Dillon pushed through the room with a purpose. "I came to call on Jo Ella."
"You are movin' in on Harry's girl while he's out chasing outlaws you should have helped with? You are something, Dillon. I thought you and Harry were friends."
Dillon turned to smile at Ma. "We are rivals, once again, for the same girl. I'm not wasting my chance. I love Jo Ella, and I aim to have her."
"You aim to have her?" Ma's voice rose.
"That's right. I'll even marry her, if that's what it takes." Dillon laughed at Ma's surprised face.
"Do you love her?"
"I do."
"You are a rat, Dillon. And if she chooses you, then she ain't worth worryin' about," Ma huffed.
"Now, Ma, I thought you liked me." Dillon smiled, reaching to push a strand of her hair out of her face.
"You are wrong." She batted his hand away from her hair. "Harry liked you. Why I don't know. I'll give you this, you sure don't know how to handle a lady. What galls me is that you want so much revenge fer your father's death. Bud wouldn't have wanted that. He'd let the law handle it. Instead all you can see is revenge."
Dillon's gaze narrowed on her as he backed away and walked around the kitchen.
"I want justice."
"Do you?" Ma huffed.
"Maybe you should ask Jo Ella how I handled things last night. I'm the one who brought her home, you know. And I was a gentleman too."
Ma stared at him quietly, then shrugged.
"And kissing her at the door last night for all to see. You call that respectable? You keep that up, and she might as well start working in a saloon."
Dillon frowned and came toward Ma with a purpose. "I told you, Ma, I love her. And she was part of that kiss. She wanted it as much as me."
"I don't think you know what real love is, Dillon," Ma scoffed.
"She kissed me back, Ma." Dillon smiled. "She didn't slap my face. And for your information, I ask her to marry—"
"Marry? You hardly know the girl." Ma narrowed her eyes. "You treat that girl right, you hear me, or you'll have me to answer to. I won't let you ruin her future over your lust."
Dillon leaned toward Ma with a frown on his face, his hands fisted and glared at her. "Will you tell her I've come to call?"
"Sure." Ma gave him an acid frown and marched up the stairs.
~*~
Jo Ella was about to do her laundry.
Wearing a frown, Ma came into the room. "Dillon's come to call."
Just from the sound of her voice, Jo Ella knew Ma was not pleased about it.
Jo Ella put her basket of clothes down. "Tell him I'm sorry, but I have work to do. I've just gotten home, and I don't intend going out today. I'm very tired."
"Of course. He should have knowed better." Ma's frown disappeared and she nodded with a grin.. "I shore will."
Before she left the room, Jo Ella touched her elbow. "You don't like him either, do you?"
"Either?"
"The girls, they have all warned me against him." Jo Ella glanced around. No one was in the room but them.
Ma studied the floor a minute. "Dillon has a deadly charm, Jo Ella. Most women find him more than attractive. A lot of women have tried to nab him. But he's not husband material. He's too restless."
"Why…" Jo Ella shook her head in disappointment and flopped on the bed side. "Why do you say that?"
"He's the kind of man who will marry ya, bed ya, and then go off in the night to drink with the boys all night. He'll go his own way, whether you like it or not. His kind of love don't last. Not for a lifetime. Oh, don't get me wrong." Ma relaxed a little now, as she sat on the bed beside her. "He's a charmer. But he's like a horse in a race, he won't last the entire run."
"Maggie thinks the same." Jo Ella sighed.
"You love him?" Ma seemed to study her face.
"I-I like him."
Ma shook her head and smiled sadly. "I can understand it. There once was this fella, Mike, whom I was intrigued with. He was a lover in every sense of the word. He could charm the bloomers off the ladies. He had me in so many knots I didn't know which end was up. But if I'd gone off with him, I'd have been forgotten after a while. That's what happened to him. He married someone else, and in a couple of years, he was out carousing with every woman in the saloon. Like an itch he had to scratch. Someone warned me off him, and I paid attention."
Jo Ella took in Ma's blouse that came up to her neck and the skirt that was a tad short on her. She was not a young woman, but her eyes mirrored youth and Jo Ella got a glimpse of the woman she was.
"I'm worried about Harry, Ma," Jo Ella confessed.
"So am I," Ma admitted. "Sometimes I wish he'd never taken this job."
"Why did he?"
Ma stared out the window. "Harry has a keen sense of duty. He believes in justice and the law. Not that he can't bend it when necessary, he has. But over all, he's the best sheriff I've ever seen. His father was like that. Always believin' in the right and wrongs of things. It's who he is. I sometimes think he'll never find a woman who can live his kind of life though and that saddens me as I'd love to be a grandmother."
Jo Ella placed her hand on hers. "I think a lot of Harry too, Ma."
"Do you?"
"Yes."
Ma shook herself. "When you see Harry, you see an upstanding man, a responsible man, a good man, but not a charmer. He'll never be a charmer." She sighed. "The sad thing is, sometimes women don't see that side of a man until it's too late." She looked at Jo Ella with understanding and sadness. "What do you want me to tell Dillon?"
"That I have entirely too much to do today. That I am sorry. Another time perhaps. I can't go gadding about town with a man while Harry is out there chasing outlaws, maybe getting himself killed or shot up." Jo Ella felt the tears welling in her throat, and one escaped down her cheek.
"All right, honey. Rest up." Ma patted her on the arm. "You've had a lot to deal with these past few days. Take it easy. You need some rest."
"Thank you."
Chapter Eighteen
That same evening, Jo Ella asked Ma Jones if she could take a late bath. She told her she would heat her own water and clean up her mess when she was done. Ma consented and hinted that the ordeal she'd been through had been more traumatic than she first thought.
So Jo Ella waited until most had gone to bed and snuck downstairs to the back porch area where the tub awaited her. She lit candles all around her, and put them on the edge of the washtub, and locked the inside door so no boarder could stumble upon her.
After heating the water and filling the tub, she laid her towel out beside her, so she could reach it easily. She climbed in with her lye soap and a concoction of rose petal water that she made herself it gave off a sweet smell that she had grown accustomed to. She had found the recipe from a French whore that traveled to the west once, stopping only briefly at Al's She closed her eyes and relaxed once she was in the tub. It soothed her raw nerves. She needed this time alone to think.
She almost fell asleep when she heard the squeaking of the outside door, and her eyes sprang open.
Dillon stood inside the door, staring at her. She gasped at his audacity, but the look in his eyes almost captivated her.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded.
"Watching you, for one…" He smiled devilishly.
"I'm taking a bath!" Torn by conflicting emotions, she blinked hard.
"I see that." He came a little closer, and she threw the lye soap at him. Sa
tisfaction pursed her lips as she hit him up beside the head. He frowned and started to move closer. He seemed to enjoy her discomfort.
"Don't you dare come any closer. My God, you don't belong here." She fought the urges within herself. The fact that he didn't respect her wishes angered her more than pleased. Even though his eyes sought her out, her rag covered her completely.
"Don't I? I came to see you since you wouldn't come out today with me." He leaned against the far wall, putting one leg up on it as he studied her.
"I had things to do. I've been away, and I needed to do my laundry and clean my part of the room. Don't you have work to do?" A shadow of annoyance flitted over her.
"Not this time of night." His smile was sardonic, knowing, confident.
"If you were a real gentleman, you'd leave." Her breath hitched at his every movement. He moved his knee back to the floor, folded his arms over his chest and tried to glance over the rim of the tub.
She pulled the rag about her, but it was barely enough to keep her decent. Sensing that he wasn't going to leave she grabbed the towel and hid herself with it. This was the second time he had done this! He intentionally intruded on her privacy, and she had her fill of it.
"Why are you here?"
"I wanted to see you." His gaze traced along her body, and she gasped. He looked as though he could see through the towel. Usually cool headed, she tried to calm herself. The more flustered she was, the happier he was.
"Couldn't it have waited until morning?" She asked, hearing the lull of rain in the darkness. Normally, rain soothed her, but this rain did little to settle her already fragile nerves.
"You are beautiful. " He came an inch closer.
The desire in his eyes matched the growing emotions swirling through her body. Goose bumps appeared on her arms. Her heart lurched a tiny bit. Her mouth hung open.
"Dillon. If you truly care for me and my opinions, you'll leave now. This certainly doesn't endear you to me. I know you are a daring man, full of all sorts of duplicities, but this isn't funny nor warranted. I did not invite you."
Heart of a Lady (Book One of the Red River Valley Brides) Page 13
