I pulled all of our bags into the bedroom and threw them into the corner until tomorrow. I climbed into my bed, turned on my TV, and adjusted the sleep timer, and then I went to sleep.
A loud banging on the front door woke me the next morning. I was almost fully awake when I could hear Hope’s voice in the living room.
“What the fuck, dude? This is my girl’s house. I don’t know who the hell you are, but let me in or I swear to God I’m going to go all crazy bitch ninja on your ass.”
I jumped out of bed and ran into the next room.
“It’s okay, Zeke. You can let her in.”
Zeke let the door open and Hope gave him a big kiss-my-ass smile as she walked into my apartment.
“Sorry to wake you up, but I wanted to bring these to you and get my money back before class,” she said as she reached into her book bag.
“Not here,” I said in a rush.
Both she and Zeke looked at me like I was nuts.
“In the room. We’ll be right back,” I said to Zeke. “It’s girl stuff,” I said before he could ask any questions about why I was acting so weird.
I shut the door behind us when we got into my room.
“He doesn’t need to know. This is between me and you, okay?”
“Whatever you say,” she said as she shrugged.
She pulled out a cellophane wrapper from a pack of cigarettes and inside were three long bar-shaped white pills. I held up the baggy and shook it around. I’d never felt like a criminal in my life, even after taking a life, but for some reason, being holed up in my bedroom and exchanging money for pills made me feel like I belonged under the prison.
“What are these?” I asked.
I’d never seen pills that were long and rectangular.
“Xanax. They’re better than Valium, I think. Just take half and you’ll be set.”
“What does it do?”
I had no business taking pills. I was entirely too paranoid.
“Chill, girl. All it will do is relax you when you feel like you’re about to lose it. Trust me, these come in handy. Anyway, I gotta run. Class starts in twenty minutes. I’ll see you at practice this afternoon?” She turned toward the mirror and used a thumb to wipe away extra eyeliner from under her eye.
“Yeah, I’ll be there.” I handed her the twenty bucks. “Thanks for this, Hope. I really appreciate it.”
“No worries, chick. Let me know if you need more.”
I walked her out and shut the door behind her. When I turned around, Zeke was standing there with his arms crossed and a pissed-off look on his face.
“What the fuck was that about?” His stare was accusing.
“I told you it was girl stuff.” I went into the kitchen and dug through the cabinets for something not stale.
“What kind of ‘girl stuff?’” His eyes followed me around the kitchen.
“Geez, Zeke, I needed some tampons, if you must know, and Hope brought me some.”
I mentally patted myself on the back for thinking so quickly on my feet. And when his lips lifted up into an awkward smile and he turned away without another word, I celebrated inside.
When it was time for me to go to class, I left Zeke at home. He didn’t look too happy about sitting around the apartment all day, bored, but until we got used to these new arrangements, it would have to do.
By the time I got home from practice, it was late in the afternoon. I was expecting him to be lounging on the couch, miserable—the way he was when I left him—but I was surprised when I walked into an empty place. Since my apartment was so small, it didn’t take but a few seconds to see that he wasn’t in the shower or the bedroom.
I was pulling out my phone to call him and see where he was when the front door opened and he came in with an arm full of groceries. I rushed up to take the bag from him, but he pulled away.
“I got it!” he said quickly.
I let him struggle to get the bags to the kitchen counter.
“You went grocery shopping? In a strange town with no car and a broken hand? What were you thinking?”
Sure, he was a grown man, but had he waited a little while, I could’ve taken him and saved him from possibly injuring his hand worse.
“I was thinking I was fucking starving. All you had here was bad milk. I’m not a baby, Patience. I can handle going to the grocery store.”
Exhaustion kept me from arguing. He was here and his hand seemed to be no better or no worse than it was when I left him. There was no need to push it. It’s not like arguing was going to make things better between us.
I threw my bag on the counter and went for a shower. When I got out, the smell of food cooking in the kitchen filled the room. It smelled amazing and made my stomach rumble. I was starving.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” I said as I towel-dried my hair.
“It’s the least I can do. If I’m going to be staying here, I can at least make sure you’re fed.” He grinned up at me and for a brief moment, he felt like my Zeke again.
“I love it when you do that,” I said without thinking.
“Do what? Cook?” he asked as he took a pot from the stove.
“No. Smile at me. I miss it. I miss you.” Tears clogged my throat, making my last words sound thick.
Turning off the stove, he crept over to me and put an arm around my waist. He worked his fingers through my wet strands of hair and shook his head.
“I miss me, too. I know I’ve been weird lately. I just don’t know what to do if I can’t play. I feel lost.”
“You’re more than just a guitar player, you know.” I snuggled against his hard chest and breathed him in.
“Is that so? Tell me what I am, then.”
Hooking my arms around his neck, my body shivered when he ran a finger across the bare skin just above my pajama pants.
“You’re my happy place,” I whispered against his lips.
He nipped at my top lip and teased the seam of my mouth with his tongue.
“And you’re mine. I love you, Patience. More than you could ever comprehend.” His hand moved under my shirt and brushed the soft skin beneath my bra.
“My name’s Snowflake.”
He smiled sweetly down at me and kissed me fully for the first time in days. I felt the tension that had formed between us after the accident slowly slip away. Reaching up his shirt, I placed my palms against his hard chest.
He backed me up against the kitchen counter, and I caught him around his cast before he could attempt to lift me up. He stopped kissing me and looked down at me in confusion.
“You’re wounded. Let me,” I said as I kissed him and pulled him with me into the living room.
I pushed him down onto the couch and climbed up on top of him. Lifting his shirt up over his head, I pulled it easily over his cast. He gripped my ass with his good hand and pulled me down onto him. Reaching back, I pulled his hand off of me and intertwined my fingers with his. I pressed his hand into the couch and attempted to hold him down.
“Oh, you want control of me, huh?” He tilted his head up and sucked softly on the side of my neck.
“That depends. Are you controllable?” I bit down on his shoulder and he hissed into my hair.
“Hell no, but it’s fucking hot watching you try.” He lifted his hips and pressed into me.
“Good. Then keep watching. It’s about to get hotter.”
I was content. Happiness and relief was found in the eyes of my snowflake. I never thought I’d feel that kind of peace again. Yet there I was, being straddled by the only woman to ever make me feel anything emotional. I was overcome with a sense of joy that I’d only ever felt with her.
Leaning up, I wrapped my good arm around her and latched on to her hip. Pulling her onto me and closer, she lowered her head and laid her soft lips against mine. Tiny noises spilled from her lips as she worked her body slowly back and forth and up and down. Breaking the kiss, she threw her head back in pleasure. White strands of hair covered my arms
and tickled my thighs when she leaned back. It was such a beautiful thing to watch.
The curve of her slender neck caught my attention. My eyes followed the dip of her collarbone down to her perky pink breasts. I ran my thumb across her flat stomach, allowing it to dip into her belly button. Her body shook with my touch. I loved how responsive she was.
I let her have complete control of me. She was the only person in the world I gave that freedom to. She was the only person I’d ever allow that for the rest of my life.
Her old couch dug into my back as she pressed herself to me over and over again. I lifted my hips for more. I’d never get enough of her. Never.
The rest of the night was a blur of twisted limbs and the sounds of Patience whenever she came. It was a beautiful sound, a sound that I tried to hear as much as possible.
After passing out exhausted, I woke with a throbbing hand. Looking over at the clock, the number one flashed at me. Sleeping through the night was something I was having a hard time doing lately.
I peeled Snowflake’s arm from my chest and slipped from underneath her. At some point, we ended up in her bed. Her place was cozy and felt like home, but that could be because she was there. Home was wherever she was.
I flipped on the bathroom light and looked at myself in the mirror. There was a faint hickey on my chest and I ran my fingers over it. I turned my back to the mirror and pink scratch marks were scrawled down my back. Patience was becoming a bit of a wildcat in bed, and I loved every minute of it. After taking a piss, I washed my hands with something that smelled like coconut, took two of my pain pills that didn’t seem to do squat, and then turned off the light and went back into the bedroom.
The sounds of soft whispers filled the room, and I wasn’t sure what Patience was trying to tell me.
“What did you say, baby?” I asked into the darkness.
There was no answer. I’d never heard her talk in her sleep, but there was a first time for everything.
Slipping back into the bed, I pulled the covers back and pressed my body against hers. She was so warm and sweet. Throwing my good arm around her, I pulled her tighter into my embrace.
At that moment, everything changed. She lashed out at me with her fingernails and dug them into my face and chest. I pulled back and grabbed her arms the best I could, but the cast and the pain made it hard.
“What the hell, Patience?” I asked as I pinned her arms to the bed.
Still, she kicked and wiggled her body as if she were trying to get away. Using my broken hand, I reached over and turned on the lamp next to the bed. It hurt like hell, but I pushed through. Looking back down at her, the soft light illuminated her face and all I could see was fear. Her eyes were still closed, but she looked so afraid it broke my heart.
She continued to struggle.
“It’s me, snowflake. Wake up. It’s me, Zeke.”
Nothing I said made it past her barrier of fear. She continued to kick, catching me occasionally in the shin. I put my leg out and pinned her leg with mine.
“No! Don’t touch me! No more. Don’t touch me!” she screamed over and over again.
“If you’d stop kicking me, I’d let you go!” I yelled back.
I wasn’t sure what the hell her problem was, but I wasn’t about to let her hurt herself or me.
“Please, Daddy, just let me go.”
And then I knew. Raw sickness filled my gut and I wanted nothing more than to take it away. You hear stories about people who’ve been sexually molested and the lives they lead after such a traumatic event, but I thought she was better. She always seemed so happy and improved.
I released her immediately and got out of the bed. Turning on the overhead light, all the dark corners of the room filled with brightness. Her eyes popped open and she looked up at me. Sweat dripped from her hairline and rolled down into her face.
Her wide eyes took in her surroundings before they finally collided with mine. Realization set in and embarrassment filled her facial features as red heat spread across her cheeks and down her neck.
“Are you okay?” I asked hesitantly.
She swallowed hard and peeled the comforter away from her skin.
“I’m okay. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
She leapt out of bed and came over to me. She reached for my cast, which without even realizing it, I was holding against my chest. The truth was she’d hurt my arm like a bitch, but I’d never tell her that.
I pulled my arm away from her and reached out with my good hand and tucked her hair behind her ear.
“I’m fine. Are you sure you’re okay?”
She looked away from me and shook it off like it was nothing.
“Yeah. It was just a nightmare. It happens to the best of us. Come on, let’s get some sleep.”
I held her in my arms for the rest of the night. I felt the pain pills kick in and my eyes got heavy. Finally, around three in the morning, I fell asleep.
Later that morning, I woke to the smell of breakfast. Rubbing my hand roughly down my face, I crawled out of bed and made my way into the kitchen.
“Good morning, sunshine!” she said with a bright smile.
She was pretending last night never happened.
“So I know soccer really isn’t your thing, but I have a game this afternoon. Want to come along? Sydney and Aunt Sarah will be there, so you won’t have to sit alone.”
Patience in tiny gym shorts running around covered in sweat. Yeah, that sounded like good times to me. I was getting turned on just thinking about it.
“Yeah. I’ll come and see what’s up.” I bit into a piece of toast and downed some OJ.
Later that afternoon, I sat with Sydney and Sarah and watched a soccer game for the first time in my life. Soccer was some serious shit. Those girls didn’t hold back at all, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of Patience. She was amazing, and seeing her body move so fluently was beautiful and hot all at the same time.
She shuffled across the field like she owned it. Her ponytail bounced as she maneuvered the ball with the sides of her feet before rearing her leg back and kicking the ball right past the goalie and square into the middle of the net for the winning point. Her face lit up and the smile that spread across her lips was unlike any smile I’d ever been able to put on her face.
The crowd broke out in a cheering roar. A group of girls attacked her with smiling faces and happy hugs as they lifted her up. I could hear a sprinkle of her genuine laughter as she held on for the ride and threw her head back in joy. It was the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen.
After the game, I waited while she was in the locker room with the rest of the girls. When she finally came out, she had wet hair and those sweet little soccer shorts were replaced with a pair of tight jeans. I went up to her and pulled her into my arms.
“You ruled that field, baby. It was sexy as hell to watch.” I kissed her forehead.
“You think everything is sexy.” She playfully pushed at my chest.
“Everything that involves you.”
I captured her cheek in my hand and took a good look at her. Something seemed off. She looked high. Her eyes were glazed over and the sleepy smile on her face looked too happy. Her vision was off and she seemed to be having a problem looking me in the eye.
“Did you smoke something?” I asked as I pushed her away and gave her another look over.
Her mouth popped open in shock.
“What? Of course I didn’t smoke anything. You know I don’t touch that stuff, Zeke.”
I knew that deep down. Many times, I’d seen her pass when everybody was passing around a joint, but something about the way she looked screamed high as a kite.
“I know, but you look high. If you did, you can just tell me. You know I don’t care about that shit. If anything, I’d be pissed that you didn’t share.” I chuckled.
“Well, I didn’t. I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep much and then with the game… It’ll pass.” She shrugged.
I felt bad for asking.
Of course she was tired. Nightmares that kept her up all night, school, and soccer. Not to mention she was helping me out here and there when I couldn’t do something because of my stupid crushed hand.
“I’m sorry, baby. I should know better. Come on, let’s go home.” I grabbed her hand and started toward her car.
“That sounds lovely and all, but there’s an after-party tonight. I have to at least make an appearance. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but I’d like you to be there.”
An hour later, I was at a party full of college students, alcohol, and the smell of smoke. It felt like home and I found myself mixed in with a bunch of dudes I didn’t know and hitting a blunt every time it was passed to me.
The pain in my arm was forgotten as the night got lighter.
“Hey, I know you!” a girl with curly blond hair slurred in my ear. “You’re that guitar player from Blow Hole, aren’t you?”
She was dressed to get fucked. Some girls were like that. Her shorts were easy-access short and her top could be worn at the beach. Those hip-hugging jean shorts made it possible to see the strings of her black thong and she made sure to bend over enough to catch the attention of the guys around me.
I pushed her back from me a little and chuckled as I took a swig from my red Solo cup.
“Yeah, that’s me.”
She ran her finger down my cast and frowned. “I was sorry to hear about your arm. Hopefully it’ll be all better soon and you can use your fingers again.”
She was flirting. Very obviously flirting. I looked around the room for Patience, but she was nowhere to be found.
“Yeah, hopefully soon,” I said quickly as I pretended to not catch her meaning.
She moved closer to me and laid her hand on my knee.
“So what’s a guy like you doing here?” she purred.
If I were the same guy I used to be, I’d already have this girl spread open on the nearest bed. It’s crazy how things change.
“I’m here with my girlfriend.” I stood and walked away, but not before seeing her eyes go wide.
Get Rocked Page 35
