Her cheeks flushed sweetly. “Good morning. You’re the first person to ever call me beautiful. It feels weird when you say it.”
“Then I guess I’ll say it over and over again until it’s not weird anymore,” I said as I fingered a strand of her soft waves. “You’re beautiful, Faith.”
She smiled sweetly and then leaned up and kissed me. I kissed her back with all that I was and tried to stay in control of myself. Not only was it morning and my morning wood hurt like a bitch against my jeans, but she was pressing against me in ways that she couldn’t know were making me crazy. I wanted her, more than I’d ever wanted a girl, but I also wanted to make sure she was ready.
She brought out a side of me that I hadn’t known existed before. I wasn’t usually a patient man, but she made me patient. She was slowly transforming me into a better person, a person worthy of her.
I gasped when I felt cool fingertips against my stomach. She fingered the creases of my abs slowly, as if she were memorizing me. Even though it was killing me, I restrained myself and allowed her the freedom to roam my body.
“You’re so hard,” she said as she pressed her palms to my chest.
I couldn’t help myself. “In more ways than one.” I grinned down at her.
Before she could figure out what I was saying, I kissed her again and chuckled against her mouth. Time slipped away as we made out in the back of my mom’s Jeep like normal teenagers. The waves crashed against the shore outside and the birds flew above us in the warming breeze.
I felt something cold against my chest. I stopped kissing her and leaned back to find her necklace had escaped her shirt and was lying against me. She’d always worn the silver cross around her neck as far as I knew, and there had been many times when I’d see her pull it out of her shirt and hold it in her palm as if it soothed her.
I picked it up to inspect it. “Where did you get this?” I asked.
She looked down and pulled the small cross from my fingers. It disappeared in her tiny fist as she wrapped her hand around it. “My grandmother gave it to me when I was little.”
“Do you ever take it off?”
“Never.” She shook her head. “It saved me when I was little, so I never take it off.”
She looked up at me. Her deep-brown eyes swirled with some profound emotion I wanted to know more about.
“What do you mean it saved you? Did something happen to you?”
I knew I was pressing her, but I was worried there was something going on in her life that she wasn’t telling me about. I wanted to know everything when it came to Faith.
“When I was little, my dad used to tell me that if I was bad, the devil would come and steal my soul. For years, I worried that my soul was never safe. So whenever I felt like I’d done something bad, or when bad things would go on around me, I used to pretend that I could hide my soul inside my cross and keep it safe. I panic when I even think about taking it off. It’s engraved in my head that I have to keep my soul safe.”
When she looked up, a tiny tear clung to her cheek. I kissed it away before kissing her. When I pulled back, she smiled down at me.
“I’d never let anyone take your soul. It’s too precious… You’re too precious.”
This time, she kissed me and I let her, but just when my body relaxed into her, she suddenly pulled away from me, leaving my lips burning and my breath stuck. She stared up at me in confusion and then as if released from a spell, she jumped up, her eyes wide with fear and her breathing deep and fast, as if she were in a panic.
“Oh my God, my dad’s going to kill me.” She gripped her cross with one hand and pawed at the door to open it with the other.
A salty breeze wafted into the car when she finally pushed it open. I followed behind her and my shoes sank into the thick sand beneath our feet.
“Don’t freak out. This is my fault. I’ll tell him it’s my fault.” I tried to calm her.
“No, this is my fault. I knew better than to leave the movies, but I did it anyway. Please, Finn, just take me home. I might as well face the firing squad. It might be a while before we get to see each other again, though.”
Panic seized me. I hadn’t thought about the consequences of my actions the night before. I never really thought about consequences ever, but not thinking was biting me in the ass. Because I’d practically forced her to the leave the movies the night before, I’d made it ten times more difficult to be able to see her. Of course once her dad knew she was with me, he was going to forbid her to see me again. I had to remember that I wasn’t dealing with the girls from around my way, whose parents didn’t give a shit about them.
I wouldn’t let it happen. For the last few weeks of my life, I’d been able to see Faith, and if it were up to me, that would continue.
“Nah. If I want to see you bad enough, I’ll just come to you. I’m kind of a pro at sneaking in windows.” I grinned.
She gave me an adorable eye roll and threw her hands in the air in frustration. “That doesn’t make me feel better, Finn.”
I couldn’t help myself. I laughed and pulled her to me. She melted in my arms.
“Don’t worry about this, okay? I’ll make it better.”
And I would somehow. No matter what I had to do, I’d make it better. At least that’s what I thought, but thirty minutes later, when we pulled on to her street, I knew things were about to get worse. Two police cruisers were in her driveway waiting for us. Her hand tightened in mine and I felt the moisture of her nervous palms. She was afraid and I hated it. I wanted to take away her fear.
“Just follow my lead,” I said as I pulled in behind a cop car and put the Jeep in park.
She nodded her agreement, popped open the passenger’s side door, and then climbed out. The front door to her house snapped open loudly, and her mother and father came barreling out of the house, followed by two police officers. The screened door was practically ripped from its hinges.
“You!” The preacher pointed his finger at me. “You kidnapped my daughter!”
I stood my ground, but suddenly Faith was standing between me and her father as he growled at me.
“Daddy, this wasn’t Finn’s fault. It was mine.”
“I didn’t kidnap her. She drove me home. I was drinking, sir, and…”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses. You stay away from my daughter, do you understand me?”
“Daddy, please just calm down for a—”
She was quieted with the back of his hand. The sound of his hand landing against her cheek echoed all around me. Long brown hair shifted in front of me as she skidded to the side, landing hard against the Jeep before falling to the ground.
I didn’t even realize I was moving until I felt my shoulder connect with his stomach. I slammed him on the ground as hard as I could and punched him in the face twice. He put his arms up to block, and I lifted my fist to hit him again. I would’ve kept punching except I felt tiny fingers dig into my arms as Faith pulled me away.
“Stop, Finn, please stop!” she was yelling.
Her mother was screaming nonsense, drawing attention to our little drama in their front yard. Strong fingers replaced Faith’s as a cop pulled me from the pastor. I was thrown against the side of my Jeep and handcuffed immediately. I stopped fighting once the cop shifted my body and threw me into the back of his car. Faith stood there staring back at me with dirty tears running down her cheeks.
Neighbors had started coming out of their houses and were openly staring. I looked down at the pastor, who was still lying on the ground. His silvery hair shined in the sunlight as he turned his head to the side and spit a mouthful of blood onto the dirt at his side.
His wife helped him up from the ground and then he sat and talked to the police. I couldn’t hear anything they were saying, and I couldn’t keep my eyes from Faith. She still hadn’t stopped crying, and I felt like shit for not being fast enough to stop her dad from hitting her and then for being so crazy with rage that I’d kicked her dad’s ass.
There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to jail and my poor mom was going to have a hell of a day. I felt like shit. We’d only been together for a few hours, and already I’d made Faith cry and ruined my mom’s day. I was a selfish asshole. I’d put what I wanted ahead of others and what they deserved.
I was shocked when one of the officers came over, opened the door, and pulled me out. Spinning me around to face the car, he unlocked my handcuffs.
“Well, son, it looks like it’s your lucky day. Pastor Warren here has decided to not press charges.”
I turned to face the pastor. His cheek was turning purple and there was a trickle of blood on his lip. He walked up to me and the officer and placed his hand on the officer’s shoulder.
“Thank you, Ronald. We look forward to seeing you and the wife at church soon.” He smiled.
When he turned to face me, his smile wasn’t real. He was putting on a show for the police, and it only made me despise him more.
“James, I’d appreciate it if you stayed away from Faith. Your community service is done, so that means my family and I shouldn’t be seeing much of you anymore. All is welcomed in the house of the Lord, so if you decide you’d like to come to church on Sunday’s, then please, by all means, come, but make sure you’re nowhere near Faith when you do.”
My eyes collided with Faith’s as his words sank in, but honestly, I’d known all along it was going to be difficult to see her.
He couldn’t have known it at the time, but he’d issued a challenge and I’d accepted wholeheartedly. He wasn’t going to keep me from what I wanted, and I wanted Faith. End of subject.
I nodded and turned to go back to my Jeep. I had to keep in control if I didn’t want my mom having to spend money we didn’t have to bail my stupid ass out of jail. I shut the door behind me, cranked up the Jeep, and then sat there and stared at Faith through the dusty windshield.
She held up her hand as if to say good-bye, with sadness in her eyes. I could see it in her face that she thought I was done. She thought I was just going to walk away from her so easily—let them win. Well, she had a lot of things to learn about me. I wasn’t going to give up. When it came to her, I was just getting started.
That night I went to bed with a bruised cheek and more welts on my legs than I’d ever had. One of them actually bled to the point that I had to cover it with a bandage. It wasn’t pretty, and for the first time in a long time, I cried because of the pain.
I was slowly coming to realize that my dad had something wrong with him. No person should feel enjoyment over beating another person, and what I saw in his face as he took his belt to me after the police left was joy. It had been a bad one. So bad in fact that my mother, who usually stayed out of it, stepped in and told him to stop.
Honor thy mother and father, and I did, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t allowed to hate them. I’d never used the word hate before. I had no idea I was capable of the emotion, but I was. I hated my father for what he’d done to me. I hated my mother for sitting by and watching it for so many years.
I rolled onto my side and stared out at the moonlight that drifted in past my white lace curtains. My mind hadn’t stopped going since I’d stepped foot in my yard earlier that morning, but finally, I could feel myself getting tired. I’d never begged for sleep so much in my life. I wanted it all to go away for a few blissful hours until it was time to get up and run to school.
My eyes were heavy and slowly closing. Sleep was just beyond my reach and I was grabbing at it in full force. I was almost there when a shadow crept across my room. With wide eyes, I sat up and screamed, but a hand over my mouth stopped any noise from getting out.
My body tensed up and I went into full freak-out mode. I bucked in my bed in an attempt to get away, scratching at the hand with my nails and thrashing so hard that my mattress springs popped loudly. If I was being murdered or kidnapped, I wasn’t going down without a good fight.
“Faith, it’s me,” Finn whispered.
I gave up my fight and took a minute to let my panic subside. My eyes adjusted to the darkness around me, once again allowing me to see his silhouette in the moonlight. I was so happy to see him, but at the same time, all I could think about was my dad coming in and catching him. He’d let Finn off once. I seriously doubted he’d let him off twice. The last thing I wanted was for Finn to get arrested. I wasn’t sure what breaking and entering would get you, but I knew it was more than community service.
Once he removed his hand from my mouth, I sat up and threw my arms around his neck.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered into his shoulder.
Leaning back, he captured my face in his hands. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. I’m sorry about what happened today.”
I wanted to see his face. I needed to see his smile and know that he was really there with me. Reaching over, I turned on my small bedside lamp so I could see more of him. Once the light was on his face, the smile he wore dropped. He softly fingered the bruised side of my face with heartbreak in his eyes.
I pressed my sore cheek into his palm. “I’m okay.” I smiled.
“I should’ve moved faster. I shouldn’t have let him touch you,” he rasped.
“Stop.” I pressed my finger to his lips. “That wasn’t your fault. I’m just sorry you had to see that.” I used a finger to move a strand of hair from his eyes. “No more depressing talk. How did you get in here?” I asked.
His frown was replaced with his signature cocky grin. “I told you sneaking in and out of windows was super easy for me.”
I got up and made sure my bedroom door was locked, and then I opened my window wider so Finn could have a quick escape in case my dad came to my door. Once I was done with that, I turned back toward my bed and caught him staring at me.
“What?” I asked.
He stood and came to me. I loved it when he played with my hair, so I was happy when he buried his fingers in the strands around my face. His smile darkened as his eyes dipped down and over my body.
“I’ve only ever seen you in long skirts. Your legs are so long and beautiful—sexy.”
My face lit up with heat as I looked down at myself. I’d forgotten what I was wearing. My white cami and plaid boxers left little to the imagination. I felt even more embarrassed knowing that I had no bra or panties on underneath. I’d never been so naked around another person in my life.
“I should change,” I said as I started to step away.
He caught me around the waist and I felt the heat of his fingers through the thin cotton covering my stomach.
“Don’t. I like seeing you like this. Not because you’re showing more skin, but because you look comfortable. You’re so beautiful and you’re clueless to it.”
I didn’t fight him when he slowly walked me back to my bed and pulled me onto his lap.
“What have we gotten ourselves into, huh?” He smiled and shook his head.
I ran my finger across his dimples and leaned in to kiss him. It was nice being able to do that. I never thought I’d be the kind of girl who would just out of nowhere kiss a guy, but I was comfortable with Finn.
He kissed me back like he was breathing me in, and when he ran his palm across my stomach, I didn’t stop him. He’d told me before that he wouldn’t rush me—that he’d wait for me, and I trusted that.
I tilted my head to the side and breathed deep to keep myself from making embarrassing noises when his lips moved from my mouth and to my neck. I’d never felt something so wonderful. He was teaching me new ways to live, and I was sucking up his lessons like they were my survival.
I could remember the many lectures I’d gotten over the years about being easily led by lust and sexual desires. I’d readily accepted that what my dad said was correct without knowing or understanding anything that had to do with the words lust and sex. But Finn was showing me how right my dad had been. Lust and desire could make you do some crazy things. So when Finn very slowly laid me back onto my bed, I did
n’t stop him.
I didn’t care about anything else but his lips and hands—the feel of his breath on my skin and the deep noises he made, which made the hairs on my arms stand on end. I heard myself actually whine when he pulled away and smiled down at me.
“Time to slow down, pretty girl,” he whispered.
I could feel his restraint in my own bones. Stopping or slowing down wasn’t something that was easy for him, and it made me feel good that he respected me enough to make himself uncomfortable. He brought me up with him and planted a tiny kiss on the corner of my mouth.
As much as I feared getting caught with him in my room, I didn’t want him to leave. Spending the night with him the night before had been so nice. Falling asleep in his arms had been one of the best feelings, and I wanted to feel that way again.
He stood and adjusted his shirt. I got a glimpse of his belly button and the hair that disappeared into his jeans. My eyes moved lower on their own, allowing me to see his long legs. He really was such a nice-looking guy. When I looked back up, he was smiling.
“Stop looking down there like that. You’re not making this easy for me.” He bent down and gave me a small kiss on the lips. “I better go. Have fun at school tomorrow.”
Before he could turn away, I reached out and grabbed his hand. I didn’t want him to go. I felt amazing when he was around. I could forget about how sad my life was when he was there making everything better.
“Stay.”
The minute the word left my mouth, I kind of regretted it. I didn’t want him thinking I was making any promises that something would happen. I just wanted to fall asleep in his arms the way I had the night before.
He didn’t say anything. Instead, he kicked off his shoes, pulled back the cover on my bed, and climbed under it, pulling it back up around us.
We spent the next few hours quietly talking. He told me about his life, the band, and how he’d come to live with his mom. I held him close as he told me about what growing up in different foster homes had been like. He was such an emotional guy, which probably had a lot to do with why he was so guarded around everyone.
Get Rocked Page 50
