“I’m fine. Just let me finish my—”
I never got to finish my sentence. The room danced around me a few times before going completely black.
She dropped like a sack of potatoes in a mix of dirty towels. I flew across the room and scooped her into my arms. She felt lighter than the last time I’d carried her. Something was up with her and as much as I tried not to care, I couldn’t help it.
All this time I’d wanted nothing more than to watch her suffer, but now that the pieces of Faith’s life were coming together, I wasn’t so sure I was happy to see her so unhappy. She never smiled—ever. It was as if she didn’t know how to anymore. I wasn’t sure if she just hated being around me, which was understandable since I’d gone out of my way to get under her skin, but she always looked so damn miserable.
I laid her on my bed and got a cold rag to press against her flushed cheeks. I was the only one in the condo since everyone had gone out for the night. I contemplated calling an ambulance, but by the time I got my cell, she was already starting to come to.
I sat on the edge of the bed and watched as she blinked and slowly figured out where she was. The room was so silent that I could hear her stomach growling loudly. Had she not been eating? And by the look at the dark rings around her eyes, she was either strung out big time or not sleeping. I had to go with no sleep since I knew Faith would never touch drugs. At least the girl I thought she once was never would have.
She tried to lean up on her elbows, but she wasn’t successful.
“When’s the last time you ate?” I asked.
She looked over at me as if she was just realizing I was there and closed her eyes again.
“I ate earlier. I can’t believe I fainted. Just let me finish up around here and I’ll be out of your hair.” Again, she tried to get up.
It was obvious she was weak, and I was starting to feel bad for her.
“Don’t worry about the damn condo. It’s fine the way it is. Earlier like when? An hour ago? Lunch at noon?” I asked.
Something told me she was lying. No way would her stomach be growling so loudly after only a few hours. I knew hunger and I also knew that stomachs that growled like hers did had gone a few days without food.
“I ate lunch.”
She couldn’t even look me in the eye with that lame-ass lie.
“You’re lying,” I said.
She glared over at me.
“I don’t lie,” she growled.
I chuckled. “That’s a lie.”
She jumped off of my bed, grabbing the edge when she lost her balance.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m leaving. I don’t have to take this crap,” she said as she tried to walk to the door. I stopped her and forced her to sit back down.
“You’re not going anywhere until you can walk straight.” I crossed my arms over my chest as I stood above her.
She looked up at me and rolled her eyes. “You can’t keep me prisoner here, Finn. I have somewhere I have to be.”
Did she have a date? Why the fuck did I hate the idea of her dating? She was beautiful. Of course, she was dating. Why wasn’t the guy she was dating making sure she was eating properly? What if it was someone who treated her badly? What he beat her or some crazy shit like that?
My brain wouldn’t stop as I thought every bad scenario she could’ve possibly gotten herself into.
“You can stay put right here while I go make you a sandwich or something. You need to eat.”
“You don’t know anything about what I need. What I need is to be away from you!” she yelled. Her voice sounded rough and it cracked.
Her words stung a little, but I guess I deserved them, considering I’d been a dick since we ran into each other again.
“You yell a lot. I don’t remember you yelling you so much before. You’ve become a bit of a bitch over the years, huh?” I shook my head and sighed.
“Don’t call me that!” She stood up and pushed me.
“And you’re awfully abusive, but I guess I know where you got that bad habit.”
I hadn’t meant to sound so rude and I hadn’t meant to be mean when I said that. It was the truth. We both knew it was. Her father used to beat her. It only made sense that she’d pick up the habit.
She didn’t like what I said. She pushed even harder and literally growled at me. I almost laughed, but I figured laughing in her face would only piss her off more.
“Come on. Sit down and I’ll get you something to eat.”
“I don’t want anything from you! I just want to go home!” Again, she pushed me.
I was disgusted by the fact that her pushing me around was kind of turning me on. It wasn’t every day that anyone stood up to me and the fact that this tiny girl did just that was kind of hot.
“Why are you so angry all the damn time? You need to relax. Let’s call a truce until you eat something.”
I was trying to be reasonable, but she wasn’t having it.
“Why am I so mad? Maybe because of you! You push my buttons and you make me so… you make me so damn mad!” She covered her mouth when the word came out. Her face was bright red in anger and embarrassment. It was probably the cutest fucking thing I’d ever seen. Faith had probably never said a cuss word in her life.
I couldn’t help myself. I burst out laughing. It was uncontrollable laughter that hurt my stomach. Apparently, laughing at her was all it took. She charged me with tiny hands and pushed me up against the wall. I could have stood strong, but it was too funny to watch her rough me up. It was super-hot and I was getting hard.
“Don’t you dare laugh at me. I’m so mad!”
I didn’t know she was capable of such anger. She’d always been so meek and mild—always letting people run over her like she was nothing. It was one of the main reasons I’d been so shocked when she up and left me hanging. Part of me knew it had to be someone else’s fault, but at the same time, I was upset that she didn’t care enough to stay.
“I’m sorry. I can’t help it.” I continued to laugh. “You’re like a rabid Chihuahua puppy.”
Anger flared in her eyes again. “Are you calling me a dog?” Again, she pushed me up against the wall.
I stopped laughing and took a good look at her. She was so different—so jaded. What had happened to her to change her so much? For me, it was her leaving me high and dry—literally—but her leaving me couldn’t have done this to her. Someone else had to.
The thought of anyone else hurting her made me irate.
“What happened to you?” I asked. “Who made you this way?”
The better question was why did I care?
She stepped away from me with sad eyes. Her face dropped and for a second I thought maybe she’d pass out again.
“You happened,” she said as she looked me straight in the eyes.
A tear wobbled on her lashes, but she swiped it away before it had a chance to fall.
“No. You happened to me. You left me,” I said as I dug my finger into my chest. “You don’t get to be altered. You don’t get to be hurt by it. I do.”
Her face paled before her cheeks filled with red heat again.
“You’re joking, right? I hurt you? Yeah, you were so hurt that a week later you were screwing your ex-girlfriend? Wow, Finn, you must’ve really been heartbroken.” A tear leaked down her cheek before she turned and hauled ass out of the room.
I was on her heels. I had no fucking idea what she was talking about, but I hadn’t had sex with anyone for a freaking year after Faith left. She didn’t know what the hell she was saying, but I wasn’t having it. She wasn’t allowed to play the victim in this. I was the victim. I was the one who was hurt—not her. She was the one that left me.
Before she could open the front door, I caught it and slammed it shut.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now? You don’t know what you’re talking about. I suggest you get your story straight before you start pretending like the poor preacher’s daughter
with me,” I yelled back.
“Oh, I don’t know what I’m talking about? I saw you, Finn. I saw you with my own two eyes. I came back. I ran away from California and I came back to you, but you were there with her on your couch. I turned and walked away and I never looked back.”
Again, she tried to pull the door open to leave. She was talking out of her head. Maybe she was medicated or something. She had to be on something. Her story was nuts and there was no way in hell I was falling for it.
“You’re crazy. You’re really crazy,” I said as I released the door for her.
I’d dealt with crazy bitches before, but Faith took the cake. She was talking out of her head and making up stories on the spot. I hadn’t touched Jenny and I knew for fact that Faith never came back. I knew that because I’d received a letter from her saying how much she hated me a week after she left. She was nuts. It was impossible for her to be in two places at once.
“Yeah, you’re right. I am crazy. I should’ve never gone back to South Carolina. Especially after that awful letter you sent me,” she said before pulling the door open and running out.
She left me there staring after her like she was a fucking nutcase. She left me there with doubts about the past and the way things really happened, and she left me there wondering what fucking letter she was talking about. I’d never sent her any letter.
An hour later, after sitting and thinking over the argument we had, the memory of Leroy telling me he had to pull Jenny off me came back quick and clear. Had Faith really come back for me? And if so, was it at the exact moment that Leroy told me about? Things were getting complicated, and as much I knew I should’ve just let the past go and move on, I couldn’t. I wanted answers and I wanted to not feel things for Faith.
I couldn’t get food into my body fast enough. I was so embarrassed that I’d fainted in front of Finn again. I was turning into a weakling who was passing out at the drop of a hat. I needed meat and veggies, and I needed them as soon as possible.
Instead of cooking, I took the three of us out to dinner. Jimmy always got excited when we ate dinner out, and I enjoyed seeing him get excited about all the food on the buffet.
I ate my food and mulled through the argument Finn and I had earlier. I silently wished I could take back everything I’d said. I hated that I’d shown him my weakness like that. But mainly what bothered me was the fact that he had looked seriously offended when I said I knew about him sleeping with Jenny right after I left. Maybe I’d seen it the wrong way. When I closed my eyes, I could still play the scene over in my head and every time I did, I could clearly see Finn’s eyes closed with his arms at his side. Was he passed out?
It wasn’t like I could ask him. I needed to drop it and leave the past in the past, but the problem with that was every time I looked at my son, the past was there to haunt me. Those blue eyes, those sweet dimples, and a smile that was a perfect match to his father’s—it was all too much.
Saturday and Sunday I spent cleaning my own apartment. I started calling Jimmy Hurricane Jimmy, since the boy could destroy a room in less than two minutes flat. It wasn’t that he had a ton of toys; it was that he turned everything into something to play with. Boxes became cars and ships, and paper became people and airplanes. I was happy that my baby had an active imagination. It worked well since I couldn’t afford to buy him much.
I hated to do it, but the following Monday after work at the daycare, I went to the condo to clean. I hadn’t heard anything back from any of the places I’d applied to, so I called Mrs. Cooper to check in and see if she’d heard anything. Sadly, she was still in search mode, but she did have some good news for me. I was happy to hear that the boys were out of town again.
When I got to the condo, no one was there. I went through and checked all the rooms so there were no surprises and then I cleaned the entire place. By the time I was done, I was drenched in sweat and I had something gross all over the front of my clothes. I knew I was there alone so I thought I’d throw my clothes in the wash and grab a bath. Finn’s massive tub had been calling my name since the first time I’d cleaned it.
I took a towel with me to the laundry room and put all my clothes in the machine. Wrapping the towel around myself, I went back to Finn’s bathroom to a filling tub. Dropping my towel, I lowered myself into the hot water and sighed in contentment. The tub at my apartment was always full of kid’s toys and was so small. I’d never taken a bath there and my body longed for a nice long soak in steaming water.
I adjusted my hair into a tighter bun, closed my eyes, and lay back in the tub. Every ache and pain in my body felt better as all my muscles relaxed and melted into the heat. The steam opened up my sinuses and somehow I felt like I could breathe better. I used my hands to scoop up the hot water around me and lapped it over my breasts and shoulders.
“Oh my God, this is amazing,” I said to myself.
“Yes, it is,” a deep voice said from beside me.
I sat up and covered myself. Turning to reach for my towel, I found Finn leaning against the counter with the towel thrown across his shoulder.
His smoldering eyes touched every part of my body as I tried to sink farther into the water.
“Give me my towel, Finn,” I said with a growl.
“That’s no way to ask for something you want, Faith. I know you have better manners than that.”
He had no shame in looking at me. I, on the other hand, couldn’t stand the thought of him seeing me. I’d had a baby and things were different. Not to mention, he’d already said how awful I looked. It was beyond embarrassing and I knew the minute I got home Mrs. Cooper was going to call about my little swim in my employee’s bathtub. Of course I’d get fired over something so stupid.
“Please, Finn, give it to me,” I said in the nicest way possible, considering I was dying of humiliation.
“Oh, I’ll give it to you, baby. You only have to ask once,” he said as he dropped the towel and stalked over to the tub with a grin.
I held my hands out to stop him. “I meant the towel!” I said quickly.
His eyes dipped down and took in my bare breasts. I hadn’t even realized I’d stopped covering them to hold out my hands to stop him. His smile grew as I covered myself again.
“Your mouth says no, but your nipples say yes. What does the rest of you say?”
His voice was so low and smooth. It worked itself over my wet skin and rippled inside my thighs and lower stomach.
“Don’t talk to me like that,” I said.
Not that I didn’t like it, but the way he was making my body feel was wrong. Everything about the situation I had myself in was wrong.
“What’s wrong? Don’t like it when a man talks dirty? Are you too innocent for that still?”
I ignored his questions. He was making me uncomfortable. He was waking up parts of my body that had been asleep for a long time, and it was making me anxious.
“Can I please have my towel?” I asked again.
His dimples popped and for the first time since I’d run into him again, he looked like the old Finn. The way he was looking at me was playful and sweet—not playful and sinister.
“Let’s play a game. Say something dirty to me, and I’ll give you this towel,” he said as he reached down and plucked the towel from the tile.
My cheeks ached from the heat of my embarrassment. I wasn’t going to talk dirty to him. I wasn’t going to give him what he wanted. I hated that he had the upper hand over me. Not to mention, I had no idea how to talk dirty.
I silently wished I wasn’t so embarrassed by my body. Any other girl would have the confidence to step out of the bathtub and walk away. Not me. The thought of getting out in front of him made my nerves jump into my throat.
“I’m not.” The water was cooling and I could feel myself starting to shiver.
“Then you’re not getting this towel. You’re welcome to get out. Where are your clothes anyway?”
He had me there.
“They’re in t
he wash. I spilled something gross on my shirt.”
He put his head down and chuckled to himself. When he looked back up at me, the amusement in his eyes angered me. “No clothes either. Whatever will you do, Faith?”
“Okay, enough screwing around, Finn. Please give me my towel so I can get out of here.”
“But we haven’t screwed around yet. How can that be enough?” He countered. “I’m still waiting to hear something dirty. Come on, you can do it. It will only hurt a little the first time.”
Everything he said sounded like sexual innuendo and every time he spoke, my memory flashed back to that night on the beach when he pleasured me with his mouth or my first time when he’d held me so close and took to me heaven.
He was winning and I hated it. He had the upper hand and that frustrated me beyond words.
“Fine! What do you want me to say?” I gave in.
The water was beginning to feel colder and I wanted out of it.
He had the nerve to laugh at me. “I don’t know. Surprise me,” he said with a grin.
I racked my brain for something dirty to say, but I’d only ever had two sexual experiences and they were both with Finn. Our past together was the last thing I wanted to bring up. Nothing was coming to me, and the longer I sat there, the colder the water was getting. Every time I moved and the water swished against my skin, I trembled.
“I don’t know what to say,” I said honestly.
This time he didn’t laugh. Instead, his serious eyes settled on me and consumed my body.
“Tell me something that’s true,” he said.
Of course he’d make it even harder. Telling the truth was difficult when I was around Finn. The truth could cause heartache when it came to him.
The truth was he was my only and I didn’t want him to know that. I didn’t want him to know how special our night together had been for me. My mind moved across my memories and settled on the night on the beach—the night when he’d shown me the stars and heaven all at the same time.
“Sometimes when I touch myself, I think about our night at the beach and what you did with your mouth.”
Get Rocked Page 60
