Apollo hung up. “Cai and Matisse are going back,” he said. “There’s video from the doorbell camera. It looks like a kid.”
“Did they wreck the place?” Ryan asked.
“Thankfully, no.” He dropped into a chair and put his head in his hands. “Stole one of Matisse’s old computers. He had a laptop on his desk. It was the only thing taken.”
Stomach dropping, Nora shut her eyes. “Dr. Murray.”
“That’s my guess, too,” he replied. “One of his people, Jessica, met me outside the house one day. I can’t help but wonder if this has something to do with her.”
“I haven’t given a thought to Murray,” Ryan said. “The break was nice. But then with the accident, it’s been off my radar.”
“We haven’t been off theirs,” she said. Another thing to feel guilty about. “What are you guys still doing with me?” she asked and then wished she hadn’t. Why couldn’t she keep her thoughts inside her head?
“We love you,” Ryan said. “This bullshit? It’s just a blip.”
She hadn’t said that to be reassured of their love, but when Apollo didn’t answer right away, like Ryan had, something niggled the back of her mind. Dismissing it, she blurted out, “It’s just a lot of work. The shooting. The police. Murray. This accident. Don’t you just want it to go back to normal?” Shut up, shut up!
“No,” Apollo answered. “Normal was just denial.”
Ryan’s eyes widened, and he seemed on the verge of saying something, but shook his head. “I’m never sorry you’re in my life, Nora,” he finally said. He turned his attention to Apollo. “Matisse okay?”
“Frustrated,” he answered, and she understood completely. Tisse was in the same boat as she was, healing and unable to hurry things along. “He sent the video to the police.”
“When will they leave?” she asked. The guys took shifts with her, but it really wasn’t necessary. She was sleeping through the night; having one of them here to babysit just meant they weren’t getting sleep.
And from the look of Seok this morning, they all needed to be taking care of themselves.
She studied Ryan and Apollo. Dark circles beneath their eyes, and their clothes were wrinkled. They needed sleep, too.
“You know,” she said. “We should look at this schedule you have going on. I’m pretty well done by the time seven o’clock rolls around. There’s no need for one of you to stay all night.”
“We like to be here,” Apollo argued. She smiled, because out of all of them, he was the one who monitored her health the closest.
“I know,” she replied. “And I love waking up to you, but you need to take care of yourselves. This is essentially a spa for me. Someone brings me food. They help me dress and shower. I’m like a princess in an open-backed hospital gown.”
They snorted. “You’re right,” he said, “but I don’t like it.”
“If it makes you feel better, you could always bring me green smoothies.”
He shook his head, chuckling. “You knock my smoothies, but they keep you healthy.”
“I’m not knocking them!” She’d give anything for one of his smoothies, honestly. Not the green ones, but the strawberry…
“Yogurt!” Ryan handed Apollo what he’d bought. “Almost forgot. And one for you,” he said. “In case you didn’t want the muffin. The speech therapist should have tested you after you ate. I’m always slow until after I eat.”
He removed the top from the yogurt before he placed it along with a spoon on her table. His thoughtfulness made a lump form in her throat. They were always taking care of her.
As she ate, she focused on that feeling still sitting in her belly. Every time she looked at Apollo, it seemed to surge, like there was something she was missing. For the life of her, though, she couldn’t put her finger on it.
The speech therapist came back into the room before she could delve deeper. Between bites, she answered the therapist’s questions. Ryan was right, she did feel much better having eaten.
“I have to score these tests,” Beth said, “but from glancing over them, you did pretty well. Your short-term memory is good, and given the shake your brain got, that’s pretty amazing. You’re very lucky.”
Nora agreed. She glanced at Ryan and Apollo who smiled back at her. She was very lucky.
Days passed in a flurry of therapies. After speech came physical therapy, and while Apollo seemed to know exactly what was happening, Nora couldn’t understand it.
“I have a broken leg, and you want me to walk,” she repeated what the physical therapist had said.
“Yes,” she answered.
Nora raised her eyebrows and looked at Apollo. “For real?”
He crossed his massive arms over his chest. “Yes. You’ve lost some muscle, I’m sure, so you won’t be able to put all your weight on it.”
She started off using a walker. Ryan and Apollo stood close, hands outstretched, ready to catch her.
Seok stood at the end of the hall, phone in hand, while Matisse and Cai watched her from Vermont.
Her brain was holding onto things longer. She could remember smaller details of the day, like what she had for breakfast. She remembered things that happened yesterday, or days ago. But the accident and the time right before it stayed blank.
The notebook Seok had gotten to help her remember was blank now. She didn’t need it. She was finally, finally, healing.
“Chére!” Matisse called, his voice cutting in and out through the speaker, “You’re doing it!”
Glancing up, she smiled toward Seok. She couldn’t make out her guys from this distance, but she could picture their faces. They’d look like the guys who remained here with her: proud.
Full of love.
Hopeful.
“We’re getting there,” she said, already ridiculously out of breath. Sweat poured down her temple, but she couldn’t lift her hand from the walker to wipe it away. It trickled down the back of her neck, into the collar of the baggy t-shirt she was wearing.
The sensation was strange without her long hair. She was used to piling it up, flicking it out of her face. There were a dozen tiny gestures and movements she used to make that weren’t necessary anymore.
At night, when the guys left and she was alone in her room, she dragged her hand over her inches long hair. It had been shaved patchily to stitch her wounds, and rather than try to hide those spots with elaborate hair dos, the other night, she had Apollo shave it off.
“Just buzz it?” he’d asked.
Nora had allowed herself one second of self-pity, but she looked like the bride of Frankenstein—all stitched together pieces and swelling. “Buzz it.”
It would be cold when she got back to Vermont. A hat would become a necessity, but when she looked in the mirror, she didn’t dislike what she saw.
Her wounds were red and scabbed, but they were healing. Proof she was alive.
“How much farther?” she asked Katie, the physical therapist.
“Turn around at the end of the hall and go back. I think that’ll be enough for today.”
Her body brace had been removed, but Katie had slung some kind of belt around her waist. She said it helped with lifting and balance, but it made Nora feel a little bit like a dog on a leash.
“You’re doing so good,” Apollo said next to her. She hazarded a glance to her side. He was smiling big, dimples deep in his cheeks, and his eyes were bright with excitement. “Look at you.”
Nora laughed. It hurt her ribs and jangled her entire body, but the smiles that appeared on Ryan and Seok’s faces, and the way Apollo’s eyes seemed to get glassy… it was worth it.
“Ready for the catwalk,” Matisse said, and she rolled her eyes.
At the end of the hall, she turned around. It was quite a process, involving shuffling steps and shifting weight. “I had no idea,” she said breathlessly, “that walking was so hard.” She had a new appreciation for her body and everything she had taken for granted.
By the time
she’d made it halfway back to her room, she was covered in sweat. The pain meds were nowhere near strong enough to counteract what she put her body through. But that was okay. Bodies hurt when they healed; it was just how it went.
And once she was off everything, except the antibiotics, she wasn’t going to ask for something more. Addiction was genetic. She wasn’t going to risk it.
Once in her room, she couldn’t just collapse on her bed. Katie and Apollo had to help her, lifting and shifting. It reminded her of a show she’d seen long ago. “Pi-vot,” she told Apollo as he supported her hips.
Ryan snorted, but poor Apollo was just confused.
“Sorry.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what’s making you laugh, but I love it. Never apologize.”
Seok entered the room a moment later. He’d taken Matisse and Cai off FaceTime and was talking in low tones.
Nora watched him carefully. The more she healed, the more she got the sense that something was off with Seok. Something related to her accident, but also… not.
Where Apollo and Ryan were looking more rested—the bags had disappeared from under their eyes—Seok continued to look wan and pale.
He even looked thinner to her—his clothes baggier.
It reminded her of something. Someone.
Apollo sat in the chair nearby, and she had a flash of memory. Apollo distant. Walking away.
She tried to hold onto the thread of memory and reel it in, but the more she held on, the more the memory seemed out of reach.
“What is it?” Apollo asked.
“Nothing,” she answered automatically. “I think. I don’t know. Just a memory. I can’t quite hold onto it. Did something—”
“Well—” Seok had hung up the phone and tossed it onto a chair. “It’s a good thing we’re in Mississippi right now, because Dr. Murray is all over the news in Vermont.”
Nora swallowed, glancing at Katie who was typing into her laptop. At Seok’s words, she peered up and then away. “I’ll get going,” she said. “Do the exercises I showed you, and I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Bye,” she replied.
Seok waited, his eyes following the other woman as she crossed the room. Only when she left did he go on. “I’d forgotten all about her. Sorry.”
“She can look us up on the internet,” she said, a little confused about why he was apologizing. “I don’t care. What’s happening?”
“Murray is being sued, and the state is considering pressing charges against him. All that government research? It’s disappeared. The government is claiming that his research was supposed to be theoretical or based on case studies.”
“That’s bullshit,” Ryan said. “He had papers in scientific journals. It’s not like posting an article on the internet. Those papers go through layers and systems before they’re published.”
“Those papers were case studies,” Seok said. “Ones he’s claiming were based on research reviews. In other words, he was merely summarizing what other scientists had found.”
Nora followed what he was saying, but she’d been part of it. She knew just how deceitful and careful Murray could be. “He didn’t do anything illegal,” she said. “He scared me and messed with my head. None of that is against the law.”
“Actually—” Ryan used his lawyer voice. She found herself smiling, remembering watching him as TA of his law class. “There’s some precedence for people who have pushed people into suicide. I know of one person in Massachusetts who was charged with manslaughter. A case could be made that Tillie and Reid may not have acted if it hadn’t been for Dr. Murray.”
“Cai’s with Tyler,” Seok said. “It was good they went back when they did.” He pushed his hair out of his face before shoving his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “The kid needs support. He’s getting a lot of attention. Cai says he loves it, but he still worries.”
Tyler was a good kid who’d been a participant in Dr. Daniel Murray’s studies a lot longer than Nora had. The doctor and the people working for him had managed to do a lot of damage to him, and he’d ended up assaulting Ryan and Nora before being hospitalized.
“One of those network mystery shows is in Brownington, filming and interviewing.” Seok glanced at Nora and then away. “They came looking for you.”
Her heart sank. “Why?”
“They told Matisse they want to ask about Reid and how Dr. Murray influenced him.” Seok frowned. “Nora. They’ve found some things about him. Stuff he left with an old friend before he got too paranoid.”
Reid was Nora’s foster brother. He’d been a kind teenager, and even though he’d disappeared from her life well before his involvement with Dr. Murray, she’d loved him. Up until the day he became a murderer.
“Dr. Murray did horrible things,” she said. But she’d been in the school when Reid had opened fire on children, and nothing could excuse what he had done. “And so did Reid. No matter what Murray said, Reid shouldn’t have hurt those kids.” That had come out sounding harsh, but her foster brother had made a choice that had changed people’s lives forever.
“Matisse suspects that you’re going to be asked to give a statement to police,” Seok said after a moment.
She snorted. “I already did.” Reid had shot her, and she’d been interviewed over and over by police while she was hospitalized. Besides, in the weeks after she’d been cleared from the shooting, she’d been in touch with Detective Vance, the lead detective on the case. He knew as much as she did. More probably, because he was, after all, a detective.
Ugh. She was hurting and getting grumpy. It would probably be better if she asked the guys to leave for a while. The last thing she wanted was to bite their heads off.
Nora rubbed her hand over her head. The soft hairs tickled her palm but only reminded her how much time had passed and how much had changed.
“That’s true,” Ryan said, referring to her past police experiences. “I’m sure they’ll use what they have, but there’s bound to be more questions. Did Matisse say anything else? How’s he feeling?”
Right. Here she was waxing eloquent about justice while Matisse was healing from the same accident she was and dealing with a house that had been broken into again. Was he still hurting? What if this made everything worse?
“He should come back,” she said. “Or we should go there.” She glanced down at her cast and sighed. “Or you should. This is too much for one person to handle.” It wasn’t fair for him to shoulder the burden of yet another one of her poor decisions.
A lump formed in her throat. Guilt and anger and frustration all combined to overwhelm her, and no matter how many deep breaths she took, the lump wouldn’t go away. To her utter horror, a tear leaked from her eye. Turning away from the guys, she wiped it away quickly.
“Baby?”
“Nore… what is it?”
“Do I need to get the nurse?”
They were all too nice to her. Not once did they point the finger of blame at her. Not once did they make her feel anything but protected and loved. It was hard to believe they were hers. Really, truly hers.
Why didn’t they leave? Just… cut their losses.
“Baby?” Apollo’s warm hand touched hers, resting on top of it. “Talk to us.”
“I’m sorry.” She sniffed and cleared her throat, wiping her face again to hide any trace of tears. “I’m just tired.”
“There’s nothing else?” Seok asked.
“You don’t have to keep things from us,” Ryan said. “We can handle it.”
“Really,” she said, because it wasn’t not true. Her emotions were still out of whack from her head injury, and she’d finished her hallway marathon. Yay. When her head was less muddled, that would be the time for deep conversations. “I’m tired.”
“Let’s relax then,” Ryan said. “You can take a nap. We’ll be here when you wake up.”
“You don’t have to stay,” she said. “You should get some sleep, too. Call Matisse for me, make sure
he’s taking care of himself. And then, you should seriously talk about going home. There’s no reason for you to wait around in Mississippi for me.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Seok’s face flushed. He shook his head, glaring at her. “We’re not leaving—”
Apollo jumped in. “I think you’re right. We’re all tired, and it’ll be better if we give you some space to rest. But we’ll be back,” he went on, “you can’t keep us away.”
Nora let her head rest against the pillows. Her body ached and a headache built right behind her eyes. “I know. I don’t want to keep you away.”
Warm lips met hers, and she opened her eyes, not having realized she’d shut them. Seok’s dark gaze met hers. “I’m sorry, nae sarang. Sleep.”
This was the first kiss she’d had from one of them that wasn’t on her forehead or hand. All the things she’d become addicted to—embraces, intimacy, kisses—all of it disappeared with her injury.
The guys showed her in a dozen other ways every moment that they loved her, but this kiss made her feel like her old self again.
She sighed against Seok’s lips and kissed him once more. “I love you.”
He smoothed his hand over her ear, like he was going to push her hair back, except there was no hair to move anymore. “I love you. Now, please, get some rest.”
Ryan and Apollo kissed her, too, one after the other, and she let herself revel in the sensation of their lips against hers. It was perfect. If only she’d been able to kiss Matisse and Cai before they’d left.
Missing them filled her up, and she wanted to go home so badly. She wanted—needed—them to be together again. Nothing would feel right until that happened.
30
Apollo
When they got to the car, Apollo called Matisse. He had questions Seok couldn’t answer, and when he’d asked them, his friend had shaken his head and cut out, “Just call Tisse.”
So he did.
Matisse answered as soon as the call connected. “Everything okay?”
Finding Strength (The Searchers Book 5) Page 13
