by Rosie Harris
She didn’t answer but watched in silence as he folded up the pages of lists and put them into the inside pocket of his jacket.
‘Will you also accompany me to the Women’s Institute meetings or to the Townswomen’s Guild?’ Margaret asked in a tight voice as Jason started to walk away.
He stopped and regarded her with raised eyebrows. ‘I think those are a little out of my league and I can’t imagine you would enjoy them either.’
Margaret felt herself bristling with annoyance. ‘Why ever not?’
‘All those tedious discussions about cooking and sewing won’t interest you and you’re not really into do-good ideas. In fact, I am at a loss to understand why you want to engage on such a hectic round of activities at all. I thought you were happy with your life as it is.’
‘I am but since we’re on the brink of a new year it seemed to be a good idea to make a note of some of the other things that I have always wanted to do,’ she said lamely.
Jason shook his head and looked at her indulgently as if she were a child that had to be humoured.
‘Excellent idea; leave it all with me and as I’ve already said I will take care of it all,’ he told her, patting her shoulder reassuringly.
That night Jason was even more loving as if he was trying to recompense for annoying her earlier in the day.
Margaret still felt annoyed though. She had been thoroughly enjoying making out her list and thinking about each place she planned to visit and deciding for herself which ones she would put at the top of the list and which ones at the bottom. Now they would be in the order Jason decided and which suited his taste.
She knew she was being childish but it had been so long since she had been in control that she resented having to take a back seat.
As if reading her mind Jason said sleepily, ‘You don’t like it, do you, if someone muscles in on your ideas?’
‘I don’t mind in the least as long as they agree with what I want to do,’ she retorted quickly.
He laughed sardonically and then turned over so that his back was towards her leaving her to lie there feeling angry and now so wide awake that she knew she wouldn’t get to sleep.
After a few minutes she got out of bed and went downstairs to make herself a cup of tea and see if she could find a sleeping pill to take.
When she returned upstairs the bed was empty
She woke extremely late the next morning feeling tired and disgruntled. Her list, with half the places she’d planned to visit now scored out lay on the breakfast table. She read it through while she drank a cup of tea and then with a resigned sigh tore the pages in half and put them in the trash bin.
For the next couple of weeks leading up to Christmas there was a truce between them. They both seemed to be trying to make amends and be on their best behaviour although neither of them would bring out into the open what was worrying them.
Two days before Christmas Jason suggested going away for a few days. ‘I thought Torquay might be nice. They call it the English Riviera so it might be quite warm and sunny there and since it was on that list you compiled and which now seems to have vanished I thought it would be a good start.’
‘It will be Christmas in a couple of days’ time. I can’t go away now!’ Margaret exclaimed in exasperated tones. ‘I have all the presents for the grandchildren to wrap up.’
‘That shouldn’t take long. I’ll give you a hand with them and help you to deliver them.’
‘I want them all to be here with me on Christmas Day; I want to see their faces when they open them.’
‘So you are planning to entertain your entire family here for a meal are you?’
‘Of course I am! We always spend Christmas Day together. It’s about the only time in the year when the entire family is gathered under one roof.’
‘Very well, if that’s the way you want it then we’ll delay our celebration until later. Tell me what the numbers are going to be on Christmas Day and I’ll plan the menu.’
‘Oh no! This is my family and I intend to be the one to entertain them.’
‘You mean you intend to do all the cooking?’ he asked in surprise.
‘As I have already said, it is my family so naturally they will expect me to do the cooking.’
‘Am I invited or don’t you want me here on Christmas Day?’ he asked quietly.
She hesitated so long before answering that his face darkened angrily. ‘If you would rather I wasn’t here then say so!’
Margaret took a deep breath. ‘Well, it is a strictly family affair so it might be better if you were not here,’ she said quietly.
Jason looked so angry that for a minute she wondered what he was going to do.
‘This is your way of repaying me for interfering in your list, isn’t it, Margaret? How childish can you be.’
When she didn’t answer he walked away and she heard him going upstairs to his room. She wondered if he was sulking or whether he had gone up to pack his belongings and leave.
She felt uneasy. Could she afford to go on living at Willow House if he left permanently? She wondered if she ought to run up and apologize.
The truth was, though, that she didn’t want him sitting down to their family Christmas dinner. It wasn’t simply that he would take over as if he was the man of the house – she knew that her family wouldn’t like that at all.
But things between them really must change and the New Year would be a good starting point, she told herself. Jason was, after all only a lodger.
Thirty-Six
The New Year certainly did bring changes; ones that Margaret had not foreseen. Gradually she realized that Jason was using her home, her beloved Willow House, as a showcase for prospective clients.
It all started quite innocently. He asked if he could invite a couple who had recently bought a house in their area round to supper so that he could show them the changes he’d made at Willow House.
Margaret shook her head. She knew he was proud of his work and anxious to show it off but she didn’t like the idea of entertaining strangers especially as a business project.
Jason assured her that it wouldn’t be a sales pitch at all. He intended it to be a cosy evening. He’d do all the food preparation and buy in the drink and they were such nice people that he was confident she would enjoy their company.
The discussion went on for several days until finally she capitulated.
They were a very pleasant middle-aged couple but Margaret felt prickles running up and down her spine as they went round her home studying the improvements and interrogating Jason as to how much this or that had cost.
A couple of weeks later when he again asked if he could entertain some prospective clients she refused.
‘Why ever not? You are always saying how much you love your home so surely you enjoy showing it off?’
‘To my friends and family I do but not to people I don’t know and will never meet again. It’s my home not a show house,’ she said sharply.
He’d looked at her with pursed lips. ‘I understand what you are saying but unfortunately I’ve already invited these people. Will it be all right just this time? I can hardly put them off now.’
Reluctantly she agreed. ‘Very well, but I don’t wish to meet them so you must entertain them on your own.’
His mouth tightened but he gave her a smile and a small bow. ‘Yes, ma’am, message received and understood,’ he said in a teasing voice.
She spent the evening in her bedroom watching television with the sound turned down so that she could hear every movement in the house and know where they were and what they were looking at. It had meant that he was unable to show them the master bedroom or the luxurious en-suite bathroom he’d installed there.
Next morning she hadn’t mentioned their visit and neither had he.
It hadn’t stopped him from using her home as a showpiece but afterwards he had done so in a far subtler manner. Without a word to her he arranged for clients to visit whenever he knew she was going to
be out at a coffee morning with her friends or a shopping trip.
Once when she’d popped back to collect a letter she’d forgotten to post she found three cars parked in the driveway as well as Jason’s car. Inside the house several smartly dressed men were gathered in the dining room laughing and talking and all with glasses of wine in their hands. On the dining table were piles of brochures that they were picking up and stuffing into their briefcases.
She wasn’t sure if Jason had seen her but she was so annoyed by what was taking place that she had to restrain herself from flinging wide the dining room door and ordering them all to leave.
Instead she collected the letter and left without a word to anybody.
Jason said nothing about the meeting when he returned hone that evening but as soon as they had eaten their meal she had taken him to task about the matter.
He had listened to her in silence, his face darkening with every word she uttered.
‘Are you asking me not to bring clients here or are you telling me that I can’t?’
Margaret shrugged. ‘It amounts to much the same thing doesn’t it?’
‘No, not really. I consider this my home and as such I feel I am entitled to entertain whoever I like.’
‘No, Jason! It’s not your home, you are only here as a lodger.’
‘A mere lodger? Are you quite sure about that, Margaret?’
His tone was both caustic and scornful.
As he stared hard at her she felt the colour rising in her face. She knew this was her last chance and she must stand her ground. She must make him realize that she had no intention of giving in to his demands but she couldn’t find the words to clarify all that was in her mind.
‘So I’m merely a lodger, am I?’ he repeated.
There was an extended uneasy silence as the question hung in the air between them; each of them waiting for the other to speak.
She didn’t know what to say or how to handle the situation. She knew she was the one at fault because she had been far too lax over their relationship. It was something she now deeply regretted. She should have been firm and rejected his advances from the very first moment.
Once he had overstepped the line after moving into her home there had been no going back. He had taken advantage of the fact that she was so compliant. Unless she took a firm stand now then she would always be at his mercy. He would encroach more and more on her life, take more and more liberties and finally dominate her and take her over completely.
She must make it perfectly clear, she told herself, that she had no intention of letting him entertain his clients there. Willow House was her home and was most definitely not going to be used as a showcase.
The impasse lasted for several weeks. Jason took advantage of the situation. He brought clients to the house more and more frequently. He no longer exercised any discretion, such as waiting until she was out of the house, but brought them alone without warning at all times of the day.
Her nerves became frayed. Willow House lost its charm. It was no longer her beloved home because he had turned it into a mere show house.
Jason even took liberties with the furniture and furnishings, changing them round to suit the taste or requirements of different clients whenever he felt it was to his advantage to do so.
The situation reached its peak the day she went into the drawing room to look for something in the bureau. There had been three men, all strangers to her, in there talking to Jason. She had deliberately ignored them all as she made for the bureau.
Jason excused himself from his clients and came over to her his mouth set in a hard line. ‘Will you please leave. Can’t you see that I am entertaining some important clients,’ he said in an angry whisper.
‘I need to collect something from …’
‘Later, later. I’ll be out of here in an hour or so.’ He seized hold of her arm and steered her towards the door.
After he had pushed her through into the hallway he had turned back to his clients and apologized profusely for the interruption. She drew in her breath sharply as she heard him say with a deprecating laugh, ‘Servants, they have no sense of propriety these days, have they!’
As the loud masculine laughter spilled out in the hallway she cringed, then all the pent-up fury of the past months welled up inside her and she knew the time had come to do something decisive.
Her first instinct was to go back into the room and tell them all, Jason included, to get out of her house immediately.
Realizing that this was childish she went back up to her bedroom and sat there brooding about the best way of stopping Jason from entertaining his clients at Willow House.
There was really only one way to do this, she decided and that was to send Jason packing, tell him that he could no longer remain there as her lodger.
She realized that it was a drastic step and that he would probably put up a fight. Her mind was made up though and she had to get her life back and her independence.
It wouldn’t be easy, she was well aware of that, but she was determined. Everything had turned sour and she wanted to put an end to their relationship and draw a line underneath everything that had happened so far.
She didn’t want any comebacks or a prolonged argument about him leaving. She intended to be strong-willed and make it impossible for there to be any reunion.
She owed him nothing. He had been paid for the work he’d done for her on Willow House and now, as far as she was concerned, the friendship that had existed between them was over; their mutual attraction completely exhausted.
She thought long and hard about what was the best way to go about it because she not only wanted it to be permanent but she wanted it to be done legally if that was at all possible.
She felt the need to talk about it to someone but realized that was impossible. No one in the family would really understand. because none of them had wholeheartedly agreed with her having Jason as a lodger.
The obvious confidants were her three friends but here again she suspected that they had considered she was foolish to have agreed to him becoming a lodger in the first place. Jan certainly had.
No, she decided, it must be her decision, hers and hers alone. And she had to be sure that when she told Jason to go there would be no way he could ever come back.
She thought of nothing else until eventually her mind was made up. She had to completely sever her connection with Jason if she was ever to be her own woman again. She felt desperate to claim back her independence.
There was only one way she could achieve that and she intended to do it; she was not only going to turn Jason out of Willow House but she was determined to banish him from her life completely.
It would take a good deal of courage and she was bound to meet up with all sorts of opposition not only from him but possibly from friends and family as well. It was going to be difficult to explain the situation to them after she had been so adamant that she was doing the right thing in taking him in as a lodger but she knew deep down that it was the only answer.
Margaret put off confronting Jason for as long as she possibly could, trying to clarify in her own mind exactly what she was going to say to him.
She didn’t want to become involved in an argument because she was pretty sure that Jason would counteract anything she said, and she was well aware that Jason was a past master at winning arguments.
No, she resolved, she would tell him straight out that she could no longer tolerate him living there as a lodger and that everything between them was finished and that she wanted him out of her house and out of her life.
She went over and over in her mind what she would say until she was word perfect. She contemplated phoning him at his studio and doing it by telephone; that would be the easiest way since she could simply replace the receiver and cut off his protests if necessary.
Even as she dialled his number she decided that would be a cowardly way of handling things; she must tell him to his face.
When he answered she too
k a deep breath and in as steady a voice as she could muster told him she needed to see him.
‘What right away?’
‘Yes! Right away,’ she said firmly.
‘What’s so urgent that it can’t wait until I get home this evening?’
‘No, now, Jason. Be here in half an hour.’
She had thought she would feel relieved now she had taken such a drastic step but instead she felt nervous about their upcoming meeting.
Shivering, she ran upstairs to her bedroom and changed into a thick black sweater and comfortable grey slacks; it was the sort of outfit Jason hated to see her in.
She came back downstairs and plugged in the coffee percolator and set out two mugs and a plate of biscuits on a silver tray. She may as well be civilized over this, she told herself.
Jason arrived half an hour later dressed with casual smartness in dark trousers, a pink open-necked shirt, and a navy blazer. He was carrying a large bouquet of flowers which he handed to her with a sweeping gesture.
She smiled briefly as she took them from him and turned away quickly in case he attempted to kiss her. She took the flowers into the kitchen and stood them in the sink. Then she poured the coffee and carried the tray through to the living room.
He was standing looking out at the garden but he spun round and took the tray from her and set it down on the low table in front of the settee. Then he sat down on the settee and patted the seat beside him, holding out a hand to her.
She moved back quickly and sat down in one of the armchairs facing the settee. He passed one of the mugs of coffee to her and took the other himself, frowning slightly as he did so.
‘What’s all this about,’ he asked. ‘Is something wrong?’
Margaret bit down on her lower lip, then took a deep breath and said in a firm unwavering voice. ‘No, nothing is wrong. I want to tell you that I no longer want you here as a lodger.’
