by SJ McCoy
Summer had to laugh. “But you braved it anyway, just to come see me?”
“Nah.” Cassidy grinned at her over the rim of her glass. “I came to see you because I was out braving it and needed a drink before I turn around to go back!”
“Thanks! Glad to know I come in handy for something.” Summer stuck her tongue out at her friend.
“You’re welcome. And while I’m here, how are you doing? It’s so different this time. I mean, last time you were here we spent so much time together, but now Shane’s at my place and you seem to be spending every waking moment with Carter.”
It was true. The two of them had hardly had any time together. “I’m doing great.” She smiled. “I’m loving spending time with Carter, and I know you and Shane are all wrapped up in each other.”
“We are, but I want to see you, too. If you can fit me in.”
“You know I can. Did you fix anything up with Chance for this week?”
Cassidy shook her head sadly. “He left for California yesterday. His dad had a stroke.”
“Oh, no! Is he going to be okay?”
Cassidy shrugged. “I don’t know yet. We haven’t heard anything. I want to call him, but Shane says he’ll call us if he wants to.”
“Poor guy. And it must be awful for his sister, just before her wedding.”
Cassidy nodded. “There’s nothing we can do for them though. And since we’re not going to get a night out with everyone, I thought you and I might have a day out.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I thought maybe we could go over to Bozeman one day. Have a girly shopping trip?”
“That sounds great, when?”
Cassidy laughed. “Don’t worry, we can do it on a weekday when Carter would be at work anyway.”
“Thanks.” Summer really did want to spend time with Cassidy, but she was glad she wouldn’t have to give up a day with Carter in order to do so. She shook her head. That wasn’t like her.
“What?” asked Cassidy. “What’s bugging you?”
“Just that, I’m not that girl, you know? The girl who skips out on her friends when there’s a new man on the scene. I’ve never been like that. It’s just that I keep thinking I want to spend as much time with him as I can. If we’re only going to have a short time together, I want to make the most of it.”
Cassidy raised an eyebrow and gave her a stern look. “And have you done any more thinking about whether you are going to have just a short time with him?”
Summer shook her head. “I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what I feel.”
Instead of the sympathy she’d been hoping for from her friend, she just got another stern look. “Well, I think you need to figure out how you feel sooner rather than later. And not just for your own sake. It’s hard watching Carter fall hook, line, and sinker for you. He’s going to be devastated when you leave.”
Summer hung her head. “And you think I’m not?”
Cassidy patted her arm gently. “No, I think you’re going to be just as bad as he is. What I really think is that you should get your act together and admit right now that you don’t want to leave.”
Summer’s head jerked up. It was true, but she didn’t want to admit it even to herself yet. It raised too many questions about how she could stay and would cause too many problems if she did.
Cassidy smiled. “Sorry. I told myself I wasn’t going to push, but I hate watching you do this to yourself—and to Carter.”
Summer nodded sadly. “Life’s not always about what you want though is it? It’s about what you have to do.”
Cassidy shook her head. “See, you’re talking to the wrong girl there. I’d tell you that life is all about what you want to do. The things you have to do are just obstacles to be overcome on the way to getting what you want.”
“In your world maybe, but it’s different for me. What about Autumn? What about Clay? I can’t just leave them in the lurch because I want something else.”
Cassidy nodded. “No, you can’t, and you never would; that’s where the obstacle part comes in. You have to find a way not to screw them over, but you can’t use them as an excuse to screw yourself over. And that’s what you’d be doing you know—screwing yourself over.” Cassidy took a long sip of her wine. “Anyways. I talk too much, and it’s up to you to figure out what you’re going to do and how you’re going to get there. It just boils down to, I care about you and I want to see you happy. And I care about Carter, too, and I don’t want to see him get hurt.”
Summer nodded. “Yeah, thanks. I just wish you were coming up with ways to make it all possible.”
“That’s for you to do. I can be a pain in your ass, and I can be your cheerleader, but you’re the one who has to figure it all out.”
Summer took a sip of her own wine and let out a big sigh. “I know.”
“Anyways. On to happier subjects. Have you heard from Autumn? Is she coming next weekend?”
“I don’t know. She hasn’t called me back yet. I’ll try her again in the morning.”
Cassidy nodded. “You know, when she sees you with Carter, she’s going to realize this is big?”
“You think so?” Summer’s voice cracked. It had been holding up so well the last few days, but it seemed that stress made it worse.
“We both know so! So you might want to do some thinking about what you want before she gets here.”
Summer nodded. Cassidy was right. She might want to just live in the moment and enjoy her time with Carter, but that wasn’t going to be fair to anyone around her.
“Sorry,” said Cassidy. “I didn’t mean to come over and pee on your parade, but I’d hate to see you go into ostrich mode and then have it all blow up in your face when you finally get your head out of the sand.”
Summer nodded. “Thanks. I know you’re just looking out for me…” She looked up at the sound of a truck coming down the driveway. It was Carter.
“I’m outta here,” said Cassidy and downed the rest of her wine in a gulp. “Have a great evening, I’ll call you tomorrow about a day out, okay?”
“Okay. You don’t need to go, though. Stick around and say hello.”
Cassidy shook her head. “Nah. It kills me to see the way he looks at you. If you do leave, I’m going to be helping him to pick up the pieces, you know?”
Summer’s heart hurt at that. She didn’t want to be responsible for making him miserable! She didn’t want to think about how miserable she would be either. “Say it like it is, why don’t you?”
Cassidy shrugged. “Always have, always will. You know me. I’m not trying to be a bitch, but you know I’ll always tell you the truth.”
Summer nodded. She did. It was one of things that made Cassidy who she was, and Summer loved her for it. “Okay, well, I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow then.”
Cassidy was already on her feet and making her way down the steps. “Yep. Say hi to Carter for me. And keep your fingers crossed I don’t run into any hungry wolves on the way home.”
“Do you want me to give you a ride?”
Cassidy shook her head with a grin. “I’ll be fine. It’s the wolves who need to watch out for themselves.”
Summer didn’t doubt it. “Text me when you get home then.”
“Okay, see ya.”
Summer watched her make her way down the path back to the river. She turned and grinned before she disappeared around the stand of cottonwood trees. She’d be fine; Summer wasn’t worried about her at all.
She turned back to the front of the house as Carter’s truck came to a stop and he climbed out. She took a moment to just admire him. He was all kinds of sexy. His hair was still damp from the shower. He wore a black T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up a little. She’s always thought that big guys did that to show off their bulging biceps. Carter had reassured her that it was simply because the sleeves weren’t big enough; they restricted movement if he left them down. In his case she believed him.
He pulled his ba
g out of the back of his truck and turned to smile up at her. “Is Cassidy here?”
“She just left.”
He looked puzzled.
“She walked.”
Carter looked concerned. “Down by the river?”
“Yes.”
“She needs to be careful.”
Summer laughed. “Don’t worry, she knows. She says it’s the wolves and bears who need to be afraid.”
Carter laughed with her. “She may have a point there.”
He ran up the front steps and came to her. She reached her arms up around his neck and stood on tiptoe to kiss him.
“I missed you.”
He smiled. “I missed you, too.”
“You’re here now though, and that’s all that counts.” Even as she said it, her conversation with Cassidy echoed in her mind. It wasn’t really all that counted, was it? What really counted was what the future would hold. And no matter what it held, she didn’t want either of them to end up getting hurt.
As Carter closed his arms around her and kissed her back, she leaned into him, wishing that he could be her future. The thought took her by surprise, but it was true. She did! She didn’t see how he could be though. Even if that was what he wanted, too.
Chapter Fourteen
By the time weekend rolled around, Carter was more than ready for it. He’d ended up needing to be on site most of the week with his new job. He’d spent Monday and Tuesday nights at Summer’s place, but by Wednesday she’d suggested that she come up to see him. He’d gladly agreed. He loved going to see her, but it was adding an extra half hour onto his drive at the beginning and end of every day. Last night they’d stayed here at his place, too, since they were headed to the airport at lunchtime to pick up Summer’s sister, Autumn. Carter wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Well, he knew he was nervous, but other than that he wasn’t sure. Part of him knew he would be under scrutiny. Part of him wanted to defend himself against this woman he’d pictured in his mind; she was almost a wicked stepsister in the version he’d created. Another part of him knew—or at least hoped—that he was being unfair. That Autumn wouldn’t have a problem with him.
Summer came down the stairs, she was fresh from the shower and wrapped in a towel. He let his eyes wander over her. He wanted to take her back upstairs and unravel the towel.
She gave him a knowing smile. “You want to?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “You know I want to, but I don’t know if I have the strength! You’ve worn me out this week.” It was true. While they might have taken their time before they made love for the first time, they’d certainly been making up for it ever since. Summer may seem sweet and innocent, but she was insatiable in the bedroom.
She smiled. “Sorry, I just can’t seem to get enough of you. And since you keep saying you’re not going to stay with me tonight…”
“I can’t. Autumn’s going to be staying with you. It wouldn’t be right.”
Summer rolled her eyes. “Why not? She knows all about you. Knows that we’re seeing each other. It’s not as though she’s sharing a room with me, just staying at my place.”
Carter felt dumb. He shrugged and gave her an apologetic smile. “I know, darlin’. And I’m sorry. It just doesn’t seem right to me. I’ll drive you both home from the party and then I’ll come on home. If she wants to, I’ll come take you both out for breakfast in the morning?”
Summer nodded. “Yes, please. We need to get her back to the airport early in the afternoon, so breakfast would be good.” She waggled her eyebrows at him. “And after we drop her off we can come back here.”
He laughed. “I thought you wanted to ride again tomorrow.”
“I do!”
“I meant Lola, not me!”
She chuckled. “Maybe. If there’s time.”
Sometimes he found it hard to believe just how lucky he was. Summer Breese was standing in his kitchen, wearing just a towel and a smile and she was telling him how much she wanted him. It almost seemed too good to be true. He knew it was true, but what bothered him most was knowing that it was too good to last. He was still wary of her sister—her business manager—who, no doubt, wanted her back in Nashville, and back to her singing as soon as possible.
Summer came to him and put a hand on his arm. “What? What changed?”
He met her gaze. There seemed to be so many of these moments; moments when one or the other of them would go quiet as they realized how fragile all of this was. He shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to dampen her spirits or spoil the day. But he didn’t want to keep avoiding it either. They both crept around the elephant in the room, but it was still there. “Nothing changed, Summer. It just hit me again.”
“What did?”
He sighed. “The fact that we’re kidding ourselves. And we’re trying to kid each other. We’re both trying to enjoy every minute we get, but we both know it’s not going anywhere. Sometimes it just hits me. It makes me sad.” He touched her cheek and smiled. “But I don’t want to be sad right now. There’s going to be plenty of time for that when you’re gone.”
She covered his hand with her own and pressed her cheek into his palm. Her eyes were big and sad. “I know what you mean. It hits me too; we can be laughing and then it sneaks up and steals my breath away. I don’t want it to end, Carter…”
His heart hammered in his chest as she searched for her next words.
“…I don’t know what we can do.”
He shook his head sadly. Neither did he. His life was here. Hers was in Nashville. That was all there was to it. “All we can do is what we’ve been doing. Enjoy what we have, while we have it.”
She nodded. “But I want more. I just. I don’t know how.”
He wrapped his arms around her and held her close to his chest. He didn’t want to let go—ever. But he knew he would have to. She tilted her head back to look up at him. Her eyes shone with tears. That killed him. He never, ever wanted to be the guy who made her cry.
He gently swiped his thumb under her eye. “Don’t cry, darlin’.” There was a lump in his own throat as he spoke. “You’re going to be just fine. You’ll go back to your life, you’ll go back to your singing. You’ll be great. You’ll be happy. I’ll be just a memory—hopefully one that makes you smile sometimes.”
Two big fat tears rolled down her cheeks. “I don’t want you to be a memory though!”
He shrugged as he wiped the tears away. Neither did he. But he didn’t see any other way.
“Carter, I…”
He hated that she was sobbing now. He held her close to his chest and tried to quiet her. This was killing him. He hadn’t taken this into account. He’d felt it was all worth the risk, because he’d only been thinking about the pain that he would have to go through when it ended. Seeing her like this, he realized that she was going to hurt, too. And that was the last thing in the world he wanted. He felt helpless. He was causing pain for the woman he loved, and he’d never, ever meant to.
He drew in a deep breath. The woman he loved? He closed his eyes. Yup. That was what she was. He didn’t know when it had happened, but if he was pushed, he’d probably say it was the moment he first met her. He’d let his big dumb ass fall in love with this beautiful, sweet little lady.
He stroked her hair while her sobs subsided. Eventually he tucked his thumb under her chin and tilted her head back to look up at him. He shook his head sadly. “Don’t cry.”
She blinked away fresh tears. “I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Summer. We got into this before we realized what it was going to cost us. I’m sorry. I didn’t understand that it would hurt you.”
She gave him a puzzled look.
“I thought it would only hurt me.”
She blew out a sigh. “Well, you’re wrong there, mister.”
“I can see that now. I can see it, but I don’t know what to do about it.”
She sniffed and gave him a weak smile. “Al
l we can do is what we were trying to do, I suppose. It’s going to hurt, so we may as well do our very best to make the hurt worth it.”
He smiled back. She was right. That was all they could do—until he could think of something else.
~ ~ ~
Summer held Carter’s hand as they stood at the airport waiting for Autumn to arrive. For all she’d reassured him on the drive over here that he had nothing to worry about, she was a little nervous herself. Autumn had been so angry when she’d seen the story in the paper about Summer and Carter the first time she’d been here. They’d gotten past that, but not until Summer had returned to Nashville and reassured her sister that she wasn’t about to give up her career and move to Montana to be with Carter. Now she was considering doing just that, she didn’t know what Autumn’s reaction would be. It wasn’t just about her concern for Summer. It was about Autumn’s own career, too. She was Summer’s business manager. What would she do if Summer no longer had a business to manage? Summer was pretty sure that there were other artists out there who’d love to work with her sister. Autumn was amazing at what she did, but…she sighed. She wasn’t going to solve any of it right now.
Carter squeezed her hand. “Are you all right?”
She nodded. He looked nervous as hell. “I’m fine.” She smiled. “And so are you! Whatever thoughts we have going around in our heads right now, we both have to stop it. She’s my sister and she loves me. She cares about me, and she wants to see me happy.” She smiled up at him. “You make me happy, and she’d have to be blind not to see that.”
He smiled back at her. Then turned to look as the doors to the ramp opened. Summer waved and tugged on his hand when she saw her sister.
Autumn spotted them and waved back. She hugged Summer when she reached them, and then turned to Carter.
“Nice to meet you, Carter. Now I understand why my sister was in such a hurry to get back here.”
A hint of color touched Carter’s cheeks as he held his hand out to Autumn. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Autumn. Can I take your bag?”
