by Dena Christy
She was right, eventually they would destroy each other. It was better if they ended this now.
She must have seen something in his face because a look of regret came over her and her shoulders sagged.
“I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but you know I’m right,” she said as she reached out to touch him. He pulled his arm away from her. He couldn’t do what he needed to do or say what he needed to say if she touched him.
“I think we’ve said enough. I was a fool for thinking that we could make this work. Too much has happened, and we can’t go back to the way we were before,” he said, as a deep sadness settled inside him and his entire body felt deflated.
“I’m sorry,” she said, and it killed him to see the tears clinging to her lashes.
“Don’t be sorry. I wouldn’t give up these past few weeks with you for anything. I think it was something we both needed to get closure on our relationship. When it ended the last time, it happened so fast that I wasn’t prepared for it. And then I thought you were dead, so I never got the chance to say what I needed to say. I didn’t have time to let you go. I have that chance now,” he said, and he took a deep breath as the pain in his chest deepened. For all he’d said about needing closure, a part of him wanted to beg her to stay. It hurt so much to let her go, but he could see now he needed to. Getting her to stay would only delay the inevitable. It would be best for both of them if she went. Hopefully she could go somewhere far from here, out of the Order’s reach, and away from his father.
“What are you saying,” she whispered.
“I think you should go,” Lee said, and his chest squeezed so tight he could barely breathe. “As much as I want it to, I realize that it will not work between us. Maybe if things were the way they were before, but not now. We may have had a chance if I was the human you thought I was in the beginning. I can’t change who I am, and we can’t go back. Too much has happened, and we’ve both been irrevocably changed by it.”
He walked toward her and framed her face with his hands. His heart pounded in his chest as he realized he would never feel the softness of her skin, never be this close to her again. He leaned toward her, and while he knew it would make her leaving that much harder, he couldn’t let her go without one last kiss.
He pressed his mouth to hers and crushed her body to his. As he kissed her, he tasted the salty sweetness of tears, and couldn’t tell if they were hers or his. He longed to hold her forever, but forever was not something they would have together. He took a step back, unashamed to let her see the pain letting her go had caused him.
“I’m going to go for a run,” he said as he took a step back. “I’m prepared to let you go, but I can’t watch you walk away.”
She nodded. He turned and walked out of the house. Once he got to his favorite running spot, he stripped out of his clothes and pushed his body through the change. The pain felt like nothing compared to the agony in his heart, and once he was in his wolf form, he ran like the devil himself was after him. He pushed his body to the limit of his endurance as if by pushing himself so hard he could outrun the reality of what was happening.
Finally he could push himself no longer, and he came to a stop. His head hung down as his sides heaved in and out with each breath. He turned and made his way back to his clothes. He went through the transition back to his human form and put his clothes back on. The walk home took much longer than it had when he left, and he felt like he was trying to push his body through molasses.
His house loomed in front of him, and he stood for a long time, just looking at it. Finally, he forced himself up the steps and in through his front door. Silence was his only greeting, and he knew that she was gone. Although it was what he told himself was necessary, it didn’t stop the agony he’d been holding at bay from slamming through him. His knees hit the floor, and he buried his face in his hands. She was gone, and although he didn’t think it was possible, it hurt more than when he’d thought she was dead. She was lost to him forever now, and there would be no going back for either of them. Having her in his life again had given him hope. He now realized that his loving her had not been enough. They’d blown their second chance. He tilted his head back and a howl of sheer torment was ripped from his throat.
Chapter 14
Simone surreptitiously wiped at the skin under her cheek. God, she was such an idiot, bawling in the middle of the Greyhound bus station and trying to hide it. Like anyone in the terminal cared about what she was doing.
She sniffed and sat back in the hard plastic chair and took a deep shuddering breath. This was the right thing to do, and she knew it, but it didn’t stop the pain from lancing through her. She didn’t know what she’d expected Lee’s reaction to be, but she was shocked that he’d let her go with only one kiss goodbye. Had she thought he would beg her to stay like the last time? He’d been there, done that and it hadn’t done him any good. She went her own way, and she knew him well enough to know that his pride wouldn’t let him beg a second time. And frankly, she didn’t want him to, not really. But sitting here in this bus terminal, with a ticket to British Columbia in her hand, she couldn’t help but think that it was all a big mistake.
She glanced up and saw a man across the room, reading the paper and periodically glancing up at her. Something about him tickled the back of her mind, but she couldn’t place where she’d seen him. She got up and walked over to the vending machine to get a bottle of water and turned her head slightly so she could get a good look at him.
Her heart pounded in her chest when she realized why she recognized him. He lived in the house across the street from Lee, and she’d seen him once in a while, watching her from his front porch when she’d gone out for one of her walks. She slowly removed the bottle of water from the vending machine and went back to her seat. She opened the bottle and drank deeply to relieve her parched throat. The water helped her dry mouth, but did nothing to relieve the anxiety coiling in her stomach.
She realized the man across the room was from the Order, and if he was here, that meant that Cadric already knew she’d attempted to escape his clutches. She half expected agents from the Order to come in and take her down, but she was sure that Cadric would go for the more subtle approach. She wondered how far he’d let her go before he brought her back. One thing she knew, her next destination would not be BC if Cadric had anything to do about it. He would give her a one way ticket back to her cell.
She set the bottle of water aside, scooped up her purse and walked into the ladies room. She steadied her shaking hands against one sink as she thought about what she was going to do. Getting out of here, and away from the Order was her first priority, but how was she going to do it? There were only two doors in this place, the front door which she had to walk past the man to get to, and the side door where the buses boarded. Unfortunately for her, the bus station was in the middle of a parking lot, and there wasn’t a lot of cover. No matter what door she chose she would be exposed. The only advantage that she had was it was now dark, and if she could only get past the street lights around the building she might have a chance. Perhaps if she appeared casual and made it look like she was straightening her legs? Or, even better, maybe she should wait until they announced the boarding of the next bus, and make it look like she was getting on it, and slip away while the other passengers boarded.
With her mind made up, she quickly washed the nervous sweat from her hands. Slinging her purse over her shoulder she returned to her seat to wait. The man was still in his seat, but appeared to have given up on the newspaper.
She settled back in her chair, hoping it would appear that she wasn’t going anywhere. She lowered her eyelids, peering at him through her slitted gaze, and hoped he thought she was taking a nap. She must have fooled him because he stood and went to the restaurant attached to the building, and his back was to her while he waited for service. He glanced at her periodically while he stood in line, but she made sure not to move.
An announcement came over the loudsp
eaker that the next bus was now boarding, and adrenaline shot through Simone’s body. She remained where she was when she saw him look quickly at her, his body tensing as if he was ready to spring at her. People moved toward the door, and a particularly large man obstructed her view of the Order’s agent and she knew it was time to make her move. She didn’t bother with her suitcase, taking only her purse as she stepped in front of the man, and made her way out the side door of the bus station.
Her heart pounded in her ears as she quickly turned to the left as soon as she was through the door. She could see the area just past the station, where the lights didn’t reach. She stayed close to the walls of the terminal and made her way around the back of the building. If she could stay in the darkened areas, and avoid the light, maybe she could get away from the agent long enough to decide what it was she needed to do. She rested her back against the brick work of the building as she surveyed her surroundings. A lone sedan sat at the very back of the parking lot, on the cusp between the light and the dark, and she made that her target. If she could get past that car, she would be in the clear.
She sprinted toward the car as quickly as she could. She didn’t risk looking behind her to see if the agent followed her. Hopefully he hadn’t realized that she was gone, and if he had, he would have a hard time getting through the people milling at the boarding area. She maintained her speed as the car got closer and closer.
Relief slowed her for a moment when she got past the car and into the darkened area behind the parking lot. The sound of a car door slamming behind her tickled the edges of her consciousness, but she ignored it. She needed to get out of here. The bus station was in an industrial area, and she had no idea where she was going, she only knew she had to get as far away from the bus station as possible. She slowed to a walk as she looked around to see where she should go next.
A hand grabbed her arm from behind and pulled her back toward a hard male body. She let out a startled yip seconds before a gloved hand clamped around her mouth as his other arm clamped around her middle and nearly squeezed the breath from her. The scent of werewolf and leather overwhelmed her, and her heart pounded so hard in her chest that she thought it would come through her ribs. The agent must have caught up to her more quickly than she’d thought. She struggled against her captor, determined not to go back to the Order like she had the last time.
“Stop struggling, my dear,” a harsh male voice rasped in her ear as the arm around her squeezed her tight and he pinched her nostrils closed with this thumb and index finger as his palm pressed even tighter against her mouth. Her breath was cut off, and she stilled. As soon as she stopped moving, he let go of her nose and she drew in a deep breath. “You can’t imagine my surprise when I saw you running toward me. I thought for sure you’d seen me in the car and was coming to me.”
Simone stiffened as she recognized the voice whispering in her ear. Dany. Her struggles renewed as he lifted her against him and carried her toward his car. The back of her foot connected with his shin, and he stumbled slightly, but his hold on her remained firm.
“You little bitch,” he growled as his thumb and index finger returned to her nose, pinching it tight. She wriggled in his hold, but couldn’t break free and soon she didn’t want to fight as her lungs screamed for air and lights danced in front of her vision. He let go of her nose again, and she drew air into her oxygen starved lungs. A sob escaped her as he pushed her against the car. He pushed her down onto the trunk which lay in darkness, pinning her using the weight of his body. Her head was turned to the side as his hand pushed against her, crushing her cheek against the metal of the car.
Using his weight against her enabled him to free up one of his hands, and dread knotted in her stomach when she considered what he would do. He made it so she was immobile and she was vulnerable. She heard the snap of a cuff seconds before that familiar ring of fire encircled her right wrist. No wonder he was wearing gloves, she thought as she tried to get away from the silver touching her skin. She couldn’t move at all as his weight rested heavily against her and she stopped moving. She had only one chance for escape and that was if he let his guard down.
“Now be a good girl and move your other hand back. This will be much easier for you if you cooperate. I really don’t want to gut you in this parking lot, but I can make things much more painful for you than the simple wearing of silver cuffs,” he growled at her, and she believed him. She swallowed hard as she brought her hand back and he encased that one in silver too. She breathed rapidly, trying to distance herself from the burning pain in her wrists. His weight eased off her and his hand clasped the back of her neck as he pulled her back up to stand upright.
She heard the clicking of the trunk as it unlocked, and Dany eased it open, maintaining his hold.
“Please don’t make me get in there,” she said as she tried to back away, but his hold was too strong and she couldn’t move. “I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t make me get in the trunk.”
“Sorry my dear, but this is the way it has to be,” he said as he steered her towards the open trunk which gaped at her, like a giant mouth ready to eat her. With her hands cuffed behind her back, she couldn’t climb in the trunk by herself, and he sighed behind her. He lifted her up and unceremoniously dumped her in. Her purse hit her in the stomach as he threw it in on top of her. She looked up at him, her eyes pleading with him but it did no good. He slammed the trunk shut and the darkness inside swallowed her whole.
* * *
Lee paced the confines of his office at headquarters. He couldn’t stay at his house, since the memories of Simone were too strong there, so he’d come into work. In the past he’d always been able to bury himself in his work, and forget his troubles, at least for a while. For the past year he’d used his work at the Order to get him through the worst of his grief over Simone’s death. Having her come back into his life, only to leave it again, opened the wound he’d plastered over with work for the past year. He’d never truly gotten over her, and he wondered now if he ever would.
The phone at his elbow rang, and he looked over at it before picking it up.
“I’d like you to come up to my office now, please,” Cadric said on the other end of the line. His boss didn’t give him the opportunity to agree or disagree, and the line went dead against his ear before Lee could respond. He stood and left his office. He had a feeling he knew what his boss wanted to talk about.
Chances were his boss was going to tear him a new one for his interference between Simone and his father, and frankly he didn’t care. His boss could strip him of his job and throw him in a cell, and Lee didn’t give one shit. Without Simone in his life, his work didn’t really seem that important.
He didn’t bother knocking on Cadric’s door, since there were very few people there this time of night, and he wanted to get this over with. He came into Cadric’s office and sat in the chair across from his boss’ desk.
“So nice of you to join me,” Cadric said as he turned his attention on Lee. “I’m surprised you’re here. I tried your house first and when I couldn’t get an answer, I tried your office here.”
“Simone is gone,” Lee said, wanting to get everything out in the open and over with as soon as possible.
“I know. We’ll get into that in a minute. My question is why did you let her go?”
“Because it’s what she wanted, and frankly I didn’t want to beg her to stay. She can’t accept what she is now, and it would only be a matter of time before she saw me as a monster too.”
“So you’d rather be a martyr than fight for her then? I have to say I’m surprised, I thought your feelings for her were stronger than that, but I guess I was wrong.”
Lee stared at his boss. What the fuck was he talking about?
“I fucking loved her a year ago, and I love her now but love isn’t enough if she hates who she is,” Lee shouted as he stood up.
“Sit down,” Cadric said in a tone that left no room for arguing. “Can you blame her f
or hating herself? She was turned into a werewolf which is about as brutal an experience as you can get without dying. From what I know about David O’Connell, I can tell he wasn’t a stand up guy. Then there’s your father, and the rest of the crew from the warehouse. Not exactly stellar examples of upstanding werewolf society.”
“I know all that, but I’m not like that. Why can’t she accept who she is now and stop fighting it,” Lee said, his frustration mounting at the man sitting in front of him.
“Have you showed her any of the positive sides of it, or have you expected her to take your word for it?”
Lee sat in silence, realizing that while he’d talked a good game to Simone about accepting who she now was, he had made no effort to explain what being a werewolf meant, or even showing her that the change, while painful, was nothing to be feared. All he’d done was berate her for being scared. He’d been too busy being insulted by her equating being a werewolf with being a monster to reach out to her and show her what being a werewolf meant to him.
“What do I do? She’s gone, and I have no idea where. That’s even assuming that she’d want to give us another chance,” Lee said as he raked his fingers through his hair. He’d let her go because saying goodbye was easier than helping her fight her demons. He’d accused her of leaving last year because she didn’t want to do the work to make their relationship strong, but he’d done the same thing. The moment that things had gotten tough for them, he’d bailed because he’d been too concerned with his own wounds. He hadn’t for a moment considered the wounds she carried inside her, ones that went a lot deeper than some pretty words and good sex could heal.
