I kept my distance whenever TJ was around. I only spoke to him when I was playing Juliet. I did my best to avoid looking into his kiwi-green eyes. When we rehearsed the kissing scene, I just gave him a quick peck automatically, like a robot. As soon as it was over, I walked away.
Izzy kept pumping me for “relationship” updates. I told her there was no relationship. I didn’t like him in that way, and he didn’t like me.
“But you told me you liked him.”
“I said that I like him, yeah, but that doesn’t mean that I like like him.”
“Well, okay, right, but you did say that he said that he like liked you, right?”
“Right. But just because a boy like likes a girl doesn’t mean she has to like like him back. Right?” I was lying to myself, and I was lying to my friend, but I had a duty to my family.
On the way home, I made Izzy promise not to talk about TJ. She said, “Okay, okay, subject dropped. You don’t have to tell me twice. Moving on. So, let’s talk about the party on Saturday. What time should I be at your house?”
“My house?”
“Yeah, I’m your plus one. We have to arrive together. My mom said she’d drive us. So what time should I pick you up?”
Uh-oh. With all the drama going on, I forgot to tell Izzy about Hailey Joanne and the glam squad. When I filled her in on where I would be on Saturday, she completely deflated, like a hot-air balloon with the gas turned off.
“I guess I’m not invited to the spa day, huh?”
“I don’t think so. I could ask if you really want me to.”
“Never mind, Mango. If you really wanted me there, you would have asked from the get-go.” Izzy bit her lower lip and looked as though she were going to cry. Not the kind of crying she did to warm up her voice, but a really sad cry, because she was hurt and I was to blame.
I put my arm around her. “Listen, Izzy, there is so much going on that I can’t explain to you now. I mean, I never even wanted to go to the party, but my dad got the catering job, and if I back out … you see, I have to do what Hailey Joanne wants, so.…”
Izzy removed my arm from her shoulder. “So you’re being fake friends with her so your dad keeps the job?”
“In a way, I guess …”
“And you’re being fake friends with me, so I can help you with the play?”
“No!”
“How do I know that? How do you even know if you’re being real when you spend so much time being fake? Seriously, you need to check yourself.”
I was shocked into silence. I hate to admit it, but Izzy was right. I was fake-friending Hailey Joanne and fake-unfriending TJ. I did get close to Izzy again because of the play—but that wasn’t the only reason, was it?
When we got to Izzy’s house, I said, “Don’t worry, I’ll work everything out about the party.”
She said, “Forget about it. I don’t want to go anymore.”
“You have to go. I don’t want to be there without you. You’re the one who accepted the invitation in the first place.” I held her hands in mine and squeezed them really tight, the way Hailey Joanne did when she wanted to make a point. “If there is one thing I know, Isabel Otero, is that you and I are not fake friends. From kinder to the ender, remember?”
Izzy sort of smiled and nodded and then looked down and wouldn’t make eye contact with me. I remembered how I felt when my friendship with Brooklyn was first starting to fall apart. How confused I was. How hurt. I didn’t want to let Izzy walk away feeling like that. I had to make things right. I bent down to find her eyes and make sure she could see mine. “I owe you so much, Izzy. You are a major reason for all the good things that have been happening to me lately. You gave me confidence. You shared your circle of friends with me when I was all alone after Brooklyn dumped me. I could never ever fake-friend you. Please say you believe me.”
She smiled, and the twinkle in her eyes returned when she looked at me. “Okay, I believe you. I really do.”
We hugged it out, and I said, “I’ll see to it your name is on the list, and I’ll even give you my invitation. I won’t need one if I’m walking through the door with the birthday girl. And once I get inside, I’m heading straight for you. Promise.”
“Okay. I guess I’ll go. Where else am I going to wear a dress made out of balloons?”
“Balloons?!”
“Well, not really, but that’s what the fabric feels like. Mamí is making it for me. It’s really colorful, but it’s not my first choice. Between us, I’m wearing it so I won’t hurt her feelings.”
“You mean you’re fake-liking it?”
Izzy laughed. “Okay. You got me! I guess we all have to fake it sometimes.” We laughed and hugged, and I couldn’t stop smiling the rest of the way home. Izzy was a true friend because she kept it real with me. I liked that. When I walked in the door, Mom was on the phone saying, “Here she is now. She just got in.” She handed me the phone. “It’s your best friend!”
Hailey Joanne had declared me her new BFF, and so she called me at home every night to moon over TJ and ask question after question about his every move at rehearsal. “Was he in a good mood? How was his dancing? Has he memorized all his lines? Did you see him talking to any other girls? You’d tell me if you did, wouldn’t you? Do you think he likes me? He was looking at me in the cafeteria, did you see that?”
What I actually saw was TJ sneaking a look at me. His secret glances always seemed to coincide with the times I risked a secret glance at him. I knew he was hurt because of how I was treating him. I could tell by the way he moped around. All of our scenes together as Romeo and Juliet fell flat. Bob was concerned but kept banking on the hope that we were money players. “I know you two; you’re saving your performance for when it counts. When the butts are in the seats and all of our reputations are on the line.”
The Friday before the big birthday party was crazy. We couldn’t work on the stage, because the sets were being put up, so we had to rehearse in the gymnasium. The floor was taped to the exact dimensions of the set, that way we could do our blocking, but it felt strange to be away from the auditorium.
We were also getting costumes fitted for the first time. There was a steady buzz of excitement in the air as the cast took turns showing off and taking selfies dressed as their characters. My costumes were very flashy because I was playing a pop star. I liked them, but I had a hard time showing it because of what was planned for after.
TJ wanted to rehearse our duet with the Halfrican Americans in his garage before singing at the birthday party. I didn’t think we needed to, because all of the band members were in the school orchestra that was playing for the show. But Hailey Joanne insisted we do the rehearsal—she would be attending and get to spend time with TJ.
She picked me up after rehearsal, and as Mr. Versey drove us to TJ’s house, I heard a strange clicking sound. I looked over at Hailey Joanne and noticed the manicured fingernails on each hand rapidly clicking up against one another. I said, “Are you okay, Hailey Joanne?”
She turned toward me, her eyes large and moist. “Do you think he really likes me? I mean, it’s really hard for me to tell sometimes and … I guess I have to pretend I’m confident so much that I start to believe it, but then again, I really don’t know.”
A lump started forming in my throat—a cold lump of guilt that instantly made me feel worse for her than I did for myself. I put my hand over her hands to stop the clicking. “I think you should trust your feelings. You’ve been really nice to him, and look at you, you’re beautiful. Why would any boy not like you?”
Hailey Joanne’s hands moved on top of mine and squeezed. “You really mean it, Mango?”
I did my best to smile and said, “Yes, I really do.” And I kind of sort of did mean it. I mean, she was beautiful. The more I got to know her, the prettier and prettier she became. I was honest about that part of what I said. But I started to wonder: Was it okay to say things you didn’t 100 percent mean to spare someone’s feelings? Then again,
maybe TJ really did like like her. I wasn’t being very nice to him at all, and she was super kind and super beautiful compared to me.
When Hailey Joanne released my hands from her viselike grip, I had to use all of my resolve not to bring my fingernails to my mouth and start chewing. I hoped this rehearsal would go quickly so I could get home and sort things out by myself.
The band was already jamming when we arrived. Hailey Joanne was in serious fangirl mode, bopping and dancing along to the song they were playing. I couldn’t even really hear the music, I had so many heavy thoughts and questions clogging my brain. She nudged me. “What’s wrong with you? How can you stand still when they’re rocking out like this?”
I shrugged and tried my best to sway to the beat, but my body felt as though it were encased in concrete. Watching Hailey Joanne gush and fawn and flirt with the guy I liked was making my head ache and my eyes burn. She was acting like a rabid groupie, and TJ was actually smiling at her as though he liked her, too. Maybe he did. Maybe the way I was freezing him out made him warm up to Hailey Joanne. I mean, who wouldn’t turn to her? She was cute and rich with a boom-pow body. Compared to her, I was an unvarnished plank of wood.
When the band finished the song, Hailey Joanne clapped and bounced up and down, proclaiming it her favorite. She insisted they play it more than once at her party.
When it was time for TJ and me to rehearse our duet, Hailey Joanne pulled up a chair and sat so close that it was almost as though she were in the group with us. Talk about awkward. I was supposed to look into TJ’s eyes as we sang about falling in love, but I was afraid Hailey Joanne would see that I really liked him, so I sang the entire song looking over his shoulder at the garage door. I don’t think Hailey Joanne noticed, because she only had eyes for TJ. But TJ noticed, and when the song was over, he unstrapped his guitar, ripped the cord from the amp, and stomped away.
Hailey Joanne’s phone rang, and she stepped out of the garage to get better reception. The band members wandered off to take a break. I just stood in place, looking at my feet, waiting. I could hear Hailey Joanne on the phone outside the garage, arguing with her mother about some party detail. I felt TJ looking at me, but I was afraid that if I looked at him it would reveal how much I liked him and how jealous I was, so I kept my head down.
A low hum was coming from one of the amps. My heart was beating triple-time when TJ said, “Did you know that baby rattlesnakes are—” He stopped talking mid-sentence, cleared his throat, and went on, “What did I do to make you hate me so bad?”
“I don’t hate you.”
“You sure act like you do. You won’t talk to me. You won’t look at me. You act like breathing the same air makes you want to puke. If I did something wrong, just say it. Get it out so I can apologize and we can move on.”
My throat clenched. Feelings were lining up behind my tear ducts, trying to push their way out through my eyes. I wanted to beg his forgiveness. Tell him that I still liked him—even more than I had before—but I couldn’t. It was too risky.
If Hailey Joanne found out that I liked the boy she liked and he liked me, it would ruin everything for my father.
TJ walked over to me. He reached for my hand, just as I heard Hailey Joanne say, “Whatever, Mother. I really don’t care!” She was about to come back into the room, so I snatched my hand away, grabbed my backpack, and told Hailey Joanne I was feeling sick and had to leave right away. She was concerned—she didn’t want my illness to upset her party plans. I assured her that it was just nausea, probably something I ate, and I’d be fine the next day.
She hugged me and whispered in my ear as she walked me to the SUV, “If you don’t mind, I’ll have Versey drive you home. I’m going to stick around and hear TJ play some more songs. And who knows? Maybe I’ll get to spend some time alone with him.”
As the SUV drove away, I couldn’t hold it in. Even though I didn’t want to cry, the dam burst and flooded the world with tears.
CHAPTER 17
Party Down-er
Dada had already left for work by the time I flopped out of bed on Saturday, the day of Hailey Joanne’s big party. He had hired a couple of line cooks to help prepare the food, and I’m sure they were already prepping and cooking. Mom had arranged for Mrs. Kennedy from the third floor to spend the day with Jasper, because she was going to the commercial kitchen to do whatever Dada needed to make his catering a big success. I showered and got ready to do my part. Hailey Joanne was sending Mr. Versey to pick me up at eleven o’clock so that we could begin our spa day. I was prepared to smile my way through the day, pretending to be her BFBD.
While I was pouring myself a glass of orange juice and noticing the stubby fingernail I had devoured last night, I started thinking about calling Izzy—and the phone rang.
“Hey, girl,” Izzy said brightly. “You on your way to get glammed up?”
“OMGZ, I was just thinking about calling you!”
“Happens to me all the time. I’ve got a sick sense about these things.”
“Don’t you mean a sixth sense?”
“Huh? No, I mean sick, like when your friend walks in wearing some fly new boots and you say, ‘girl, those boots are sick!’ You know? But you mean it in a good way.”
“Uh, oh. Okay.…”
“So, what’s up with you, Mango? What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? What makes you think something is wrong?”
“Like I just said, I’ve got a sick sense. I can feel it in your voice without even hearing you sing. You’ve been crying your heart out. Am I right, or am I absolutely, positively right?”
This was truly weird. How could she tell just from the sound of my voice? I hesitated, but then I thought about the other day on the way home and how we sealed our friendship bond outside her house, so … I spilled the tea, poured my guts out, laid it all on the line, and released the floodgates. When I finished talking, there was silence.
“Izzy?”
“I’m here.”
“You did hear what I just told you, right?”
“Every syllable.”
“So … what should I do?”
“About?”
“About Hailey Joanne and TJ?”
“Seriously, Mango, you can’t do anything about Hailey Joanne or TJ. The only one you can do anything about is you.”
That set me back for a second, and I said, “What do you mean?”
“You keep going on and on about how bad you feel about what you said, what you did, how you lied, how you were being fake. You never said a thing about what Hailey Joanne did or what TJ did to wrong you. Did you?”
“Uhhhh, no.”
“So okay, girl, the only one you have to do something about is you. Figure out how you are you going to make yourself feel better about Mango Delight Fuller.”
Dang! Maybe she did have a sick sense or was psychic like her tía Maria Magdelena, but she was right. I’d been lying and faking my way through the last few weeks. I thought I had a good reason to do the things I did, but that didn’t make it right.
This moment of clarity made me relax, and all at once it was like I could feel my face again. No mask. No fakery. Just me. I smiled and said, “Thanks, Izzy. Thanks for always keeping it one hundred. I have to come clean. I have to tell Hailey Joanne the truth. And I have to do it today.”
“Nooooo!” Izzy yelled so loud, I had to move the phone away from my ear. “You can’t ruin the poor girl’s birthday just to make yourself feel better! That’s like a boyfriend telling his girlfriend he’s been cheating on her and then saying, ‘Wow, now that I’ve got that off my chest, I feel much better!’ No, please don’t tell her today.”
“Okay, you’re right. But when?”
“Hey, acting is all about timing. When the time is right, you’ll know. But don’t wait too long. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for her to forgive you.”
“Thanks, Izzy. What would I do without you?”
“Ha! You don’t even want to know. Se
e you at the party!”
When we hung up, I hurried to get dressed. I promised myself that I’d do my best to make sure Hailey Joanne had a great birthday, not because of TJ or Dada, but because she was a cool girl and she deserved it. As soon as I got the chance, I would come clean and hope she could forgive me.
Hailey Joanne’s glam squad was already hard at work when I arrived and was escorted to the beauty salon in the basement of the mansion. It looked like the big hair salons I’d seen downtown with one exception: all of the mirrors were covered up.
A tall, whippet-thin man with a wild Afro walked up to me as I gawked at the lack of mirrors and said, “That’s right. No mirrors here, doll. We are magicians, and you don’t get to see the results until the big reveal.” He lead me to his station. “I am Horatio, hairstylist extraordinaire.”
Horatio had tattoos of stars, hearts, and hashtags on his face. They started at the corner of his left eye and trailed down his cheek and all around his neck. I didn’t mean to be rude, but I couldn’t help staring at them. When Horatio saw me looking, I turned away real quick. He said, “Go ahead and look, Miss Girl. That’s why I have them. If I didn’t want anyone to look, I would never have put a tattoo on this lovely visage.” He cackled and snapped his fingers, and his team cackled and snapped along.
Sergio and Tamara were a married couple. He was a makeup artist/manicurist and she was a masseuse/aromatherapist. Tessica was scheduled to arrive later in the afternoon with our dresses. Hailey Joanne was under a hair dryer, flipping through a fashion magazine, and getting a pedicure when I walked over, smiled dutifully, and said, “Happy birthday!”
She thanked me and handed me over to Horatio. “He’s going to give you a hair treatment, and when he’s finished, you won’t recognize yourself.”
Horatio took me by the hand and led me to a sink. “First things first, doll: I’ve got to wash all of whatever you use out of your hair and replenish it with some of Miss Irma Beth Trueheart’s magic elixirs. I’m telling you, there ain’t nothing in this world better for a black girl’s hair than Miss Trueheart’s products.”
Mango Delight Page 12
