I slid my hand from beneath hers and turned to look out the rain-splattered window. What should I say? This was the moment of truth, so to speak. If I made up some excuse, I would have to carry it around and pretend it was the truth forever. That’s a huge burden. Also, I would just be flat-out lying. I had already lied to TJ. It was a little lie, but it was a lie just the same. If I turned to Hailey Joanne and lied now, that would be it—Mango Delight Fuller would be a liar for sure. I might get away with it because no one had any idea what really made me freak out, but I would know the truth, and every time I looked at myself in the mirror, I would be looking into the face of a liar. I couldn’t do that to myself. I had to tell the truth, for me.
Besides, I had grown to like Hailey Joanne for real, and I wanted us to be friends with nothing fake between us. I was faking when Brook first got her phone, pretending I was so happy for her when I really felt envious and afraid. If I’d been honest from the beginning, things might have turned out differently. Maybe if I was completely honest now, there could be a way for us to truly be friends.
It was so hard, but I turned to face Hailey Joanne and said, “I got upset and screamed backstage … because I saw you and TJ kissing.”
Hailey Joanne’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Why would that make you scream? You know I like him. I’ve been telling you about it for weeks. I don’t understand how that would upset you.”
I felt as though I was on the edge of a cliff. Hundreds of feet below me were jagged rocks with waves crashing into them. I couldn’t breathe for a minute, thinking that I had no choice but to tell the truth no matter what happened. Would I splash into the water, or land on the rocks? Either way, I had to jump. “I … like him, too.” There. I had jumped, and I was falling.
Hailey Joanne sat back and looked at me with her head cocked to the side. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you just listen to me go on and on about him? You even encouraged me.”
“I didn’t want to upset you.” I was falling faster and tumbling, my stomach lurching into my throat, but there was no way to stop now. “I was afraid that if you were mad at me, you’d fire my father and find another caterer for your party.”
Hailey Joanne’s lips tightened as she looked down at her freshly manicured fingernails, and then she turned away from me, looking out the window. The whomp whomp of the windshield wipers counted off the long seconds that poured between us like sand filling an hourglass. Car horns were blaring outside the window as we inched forward in traffic. Finally, I said, “I’m sorry.”
Hailey Joanne whirled on me. There were tears in her eyes. “Don’t be. It’s not the first time I’ve been used, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.”
She was right; I had used her. Even though I thought I had a good reason, was it really an excuse to treat her so badly? How could she ever know who her real friends were when people like me took advantage of her? I felt ugly inside, charred and shriveled like a cigarette smoker’s lung. I said, “I’m really sorry, Hailey—”
She lifted her hand and cut me off. “I can’t hear a word you’re saying.” She shouted, “Versey, stop the car! Mango is getting out here.”
Mr. Versey said, “But, Miss Hailey Joanne, it’s raining mighty hard.”
Hailey Joanne snapped, “Did I ask you for a weather report? Open the door and put her out!”
Mr. Versey made eye contact with me in the rearview mirror for a brief instant and kept on moving forward, inch by inch, in the bumper-to-bumper traffic.
Hailey Joanne screamed, “Versey! Do as I say, or …”
“Or what, Miss Hailey Joanne?”
“I swear I’ll fire you!”
“You go on and do what you have to do, Miss Hailey Joanne, but I’ll put you out in the street before I let this poor child walk all the way home in this storm.”
Hailey Joanne threw a tantrum. You know, the kind little kids have when they scream and bang their fists and kick their feet. I moved as close to the door as I could get to keep out of the way of her flailing limbs.
Finally, when she had worn herself out, she dropped her head onto her knees and sobbed until she fell asleep. It was unbelievable, but by the time Mr. Versey pulled up to my building, she was actually snoring.
Mr. Versey hurried around to the passenger door and opened a huge black umbrella. I looked at Hailey Joanne, and, even though I didn’t think she would hear me over her snoring, I said, “I’m really, truly sorry.”
Mr. Versey escorted me to the entrance of my building. He said, “You did good. She needed to hear the truth.”
I nodded, thanked him for the ride, and went inside.
Riding up on the elevator, I tried hard not to cry. I made myself think about how Dada loved my tomato, arugula, and grilled cheese sandwich. I used cheddar and Swiss cheese—two slices of each with a few leaves of arugula between them. I sliced the tomato very thin and buttered the inside of both pieces of the bread. I spread mayonnaise on the outside (that makes the bread golden brown and gives it the perfect crunch). I put the sandwich in a hot pan and use another pan to smash it down really good and cook both sides until the cheese was melted to the point that it started to squish out from the bread. Delicious! By the time I reached my floor, I had avoided crying, but I still couldn’t get the image of Hailey Joanne’s tantrum out of my head, and the fact that I had caused it made me feel the need to start thinking of another recipe quick.
CHAPTER 20
The Big News
When I opened the door to our apartment, the earthy aroma of brown stewed fish embraced me. Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds” was blaring from the speakers and there was laughter coming from the kitchen. There, I found Mom and Dada dancing and singing while Jasper watched from his high chair, clapping and bopping to the song.
Jasper spied me first and cried out, “Maga! Maga!” As Mom and Dada turned to look at me, the smiles on their faces told me something wonderful had happened. I lifted Jasper out of his high chair, sat with him on my lap, and said, imitating Dada’s accent, “What a gwan?”
Dada turned the music down, cleared his throat, and said, “Thanks to you, my sweet Mango Delight, I received a call from the mayor’s wife this afternoon. They are hiring me to cater their daughter’s wedding and maybe more events for City Hall!” Dada leapt up into the air, clapping and laughing. Mom was laughing, too. I was happy and did my best to eke out a smile, but it wasn’t convincing at all.
Mom said, “Mango, what’s the matter with you?”
I didn’t want to tell another lie, but the truth was just too heavy for a time that called for celebration, and I didn’t want to ruin it. But if I was going to be an honest person, I couldn’t turn back now just because it was convenient. So I said, “I really don’t want to talk about this now, but I’ll just say … I hurt someone’s feelings today. I never wanted to, but I did, and I don’t feel good about it.”
Mom said, “Who?”
“Mom, please, this is something I need to deal with on my own. Please. May I be excused?”
Dada knelt in front of me. “I understand, sweetie. Why don’t you go lie down? You want me to bring your dinner to your room?”
I handed Jasper to him and said, “No, I’m not hungry.”
Mom said, “But you love brown stewed fish.”
Dada nodded with a crinkle of concern around his eyes. “You usually gobble it up like a harbor shark.” He put his hand to my head. “You have a fever?”
“No. No, I’m fine. I just have a lot on my mind.” I walked past them, went into my room, and crawled under the covers, still in my clothes. That’s where I stayed until the next morning.
School dragged by for the rest of the week, except for when we were in rehearsal. I was so anxious to escape inside my character that I couldn’t wait to hit the stage. Bob and Mr. Ramsey said my performances were getting stronger and my voice sounded better than ever. Bob said, “Whatever you’re doing, keep on doing it! It’s working!”
Right. Keep on bein
g miserable in real life. If that’s the secret to being good on stage, I think I’d better choose another career.
When TJ and I were onstage together and in character, we really connected as Juliet and Romeo. Offstage, it was still awkward but not in a bad way. Boss Chloe told me her “little birds” saw him in the mall coming out of the multiplex theater with Hailey Joanne, so they were probably boyfriend and girlfriend now. That hurt a little at first, but I did my best to get over it. We were boyfriend and girlfriend onstage, and that’s what I’d have to settle for since I messed up any other chance of us being in a relationship.
I did my best to avoid Hailey Joanne, so our paths didn’t cross at all—mostly because all the cast members were excused from eating lunch in the cafeteria until the show ended its one-weekend run. We spent our lunch period in the auditorium, eating together, running lines, rehearsing music, getting fitted for costumes, and testing makeup. I was now a full-fledged Dramanerd, and I enjoyed being with my cast mates. We all spoke the same language and shared the same silly jokes that no one would get if they weren’t a part of our stage family. I was relieved and pretty happy—except, surprisingly, a part of me missed Hailey Joanne.
The week of tech rehearsals flew by. We ran through the play in costumes and would have to stop and hold our places, sometimes for fifteen or twenty minutes, while the big lights that hung above the stage were adjusted, focused, and gelled. We were like race horses at the gate ready to run; we were anxious to perform for an audience but had to give the crew time to perfect their part of the show.
There was one long hold when the crew was lighting the recording booth scene where Romeo and Juliet fall in love. We had nothing to do but hold our places and wait while the lighting guys moved the scaffold in and scrambled above us, focusing the special “love lights.” I could sense that TJ wasn’t nervous around me anymore, because he didn’t blurt out any obscure factoids. He simply waited. I simply waited. We were like two people in an elevator just waiting to get off on different floors.
Finally, I said, “How’s Hailey Joanne?”
“She’s fine. I guess. Why?”
“No reason. I thought you two were dating now.”
“Why would you think that?” There was a bit of odditude in his voice, like he was surprised at what I said and irritated by it, so I thought I’d better back off.
“No reason. Never mind. Forget it.”
He went on. “You’re the one who’s got the wrong impression for some reason.”
“Someone saw you coming out of the movie theater with her.”
“Uh … I don’t know what your little spies have told you, but I didn’t go to the movies with her. We ran into each other on the way out of separate theaters and spoke for a minute, but that was it. So tell your spies to get their stories straight, okay?”
I was fuming. How dare he talk to me like I was some little kid or something? I said, “I saw you kissing her backstage at her birthday party with my own eyes. I didn’t need spies for that, TJ.”
I was about to walk offstage when Bob called from the audience, “All right, we’re ready to move on. Take it from the top of ‘Duet Forever.’’”
The orchestra started playing. I turned away from TJ. He whispered, “You’re supposed to be looking at me.”
I didn’t turn to look at him. “I’d rather eat a bowl of rabbit turds.”
TJ began to sing. When my part came, I sang it without looking at him; I just couldn’t. As the song progressed, I slowly got back into character and turned to look at him just before we had to kiss. I looked up into his kiwi-green eyes. They were moist, on the verge of tears. I reached for his hands, and he took mine. We moved together slowly and kissed as the lights faded to a blackout.
There were whoops, shouts, and applause from the audience. Bob called for house lights and rushed up onto the stage. He called the cast onstage from the wings, “Did you guys see that? Did you?” He turned to me. “Mango, that was an amazing choice, to turn away from him until the end of the song. It was so powerful. And, TJ, the longing in your eyes was … oh, it was magnetic!”
Bob turned to the rest of the cast. “You see, kids, this is what real actors do. They keep exploring and taking risks, being in the moment and staying in character. We’ve been rehearsing for six weeks, and we all think we’ve got the show down pat, but I want you to understand that there is still time for discoveries and surprises. That’s what makes the theater vital and unique. Every performance is different, night after night.” He turned back to TJ and me. “Keep up the great work. Keep exploring. You’re amazing, both of you.” He clapped us both on the shoulders and called for a five-minute break.
As the cast scattered, TJ and I just stood there for a moment and looked at each other, both of us about to burst out laughing. We ran backstage, and, as soon as almost everyone had cleared out, we let go and had a long laugh. TJ said, “How did that happen?”
“I don’t know. Maybe we should try to get mad at each other before every show?”
“I’m not mad at you, Mango. I thought you were mad at me for the longest time. I mean, at one point we were … friends. But after that time in my garage—”
“I’m sorry. I acted like that because …”
“I know. Hailey Joanne told me what was going on when I saw her in the lobby at the movies. She’s really hurt. She felt like you were using her.”
“I was. I guess. I mean, I came to really like her, but yeah, I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings.”
“You pretended to be her friend because of your dad. I understand. Hey, listen, sometimes we all do stupid things for the right reasons. That’s just life. It’s not too late to make up for it. I mean, you’re both still breathing, right?”
“Right.” He was being so cool. How could anyone not like him? I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything.
We just stood there looking away from each other, neither one of us wanting to leave.
“Just so you know, sometimes I do stupid things for the right reasons, too,” he said.
“Like what?”
“That night, at the birthday party.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yeah, I did kiss Hailey Joanne. I knew she kind of liked me. I mean, that’s why she gave my band the gig, right? So when she caught me backstage and asked for a birthday kiss … I couldn’t refuse. I didn’t want to make her mad.…”
“Or hurt her feelings?”
“Yeah, that too.” He shook his head, shrugged his shoulders, took a deep breath, and blew it out through his lips. “That day at the mall, we had a long talk. I told her I thought she was cool and beautiful, but I liked someone else, so.…”
Boss Chloe yelled, “We’re back. Places from where we left off. Let’s go, people!”
I turned away from TJ and rushed back onto the stage. The lights went out, and the orchestra started playing the music that transitioned to the next scene. As scenery moved and I headed to my glow-in-the-dark tape mark, TJ held onto my arm and whispered, “It’s you. I told her that you’re the one I like.”
The next scene was in Juliet’s bedroom with Izzy as my agent. TJ’s last words had left me so stunned that I floated through the rest of the play as if I were an airplane on autopilot.
At the end of rehearsal, Izzy cornered me in the girls’ dressing room. “What’s going on with you? Where was your mind today?”
“Was I that bad?”
“No, you were good, but …” She circled her index finger around her temple, making a cuckoo sign. “I don’t know, you were just … out there.”
“You think everyone could tell?”
“Of course not—they don’t have a sick sense like me.”
I giggled and led Izzy toward a dark corner just outside the dressing room. “TJ just told me.…”
“What? What?”
“He told me that he told Hailey Joanne that he liked me.”
Izzy gasped, “Like? Or like like?”
“Like like!”
Izzy squealed out loud, and I covered her mouth. Braces Chloe stopped on her way to the dressing room and peered into the dark corner, but I don’t think she saw us.
I uncovered Izzy’s mouth. “This is between me and you. No one else. Promise?”
Izzy hugged me. “Cross my heart. I wouldn’t do anything to mess this up for you!”
As we headed for the dressing room, I wasn’t worried that Izzy would spread the news all over the school. I was sure I could trust her. I was sure we were that close.
Since rehearsals were running late this week, Dada showed up to drive me home. I saw TJ on the way out. We smiled and waved to each other. When I was seated in the car, I didn’t mean to, but I shivered and let out a squeal. Dada smiled at me. “Good rehearsal?”
I beamed. “Yes. The best ever.”
I looked out of the car window. It was dark, and I could see my reflection in the glass. I looked happy. TJ liked me, and I liked him—and not just because he liked me. I really liked him. That made me wonder about Hailey Joanne. She liked TJ, too, and he rejected her. I’m sure he did it in the nicest way possible, but it must have hurt. After all, two people she liked had used her.
The helium in the balloon of happiness I was floating on began to seep through a pinprick of guilt until, by the time we got home, my happiness was completely deflated. I couldn’t just ignore what I had done to Hailey Joanne. I would have to face her, tell her how really sorry I was and confess how much I really had grown to like her. Maybe she’d forgive me, or maybe she wouldn’t, but I had to do my part to make amends.
But when? How?
CHAPTER 21
Mango Delight Page 15
