by Hilary Storm
"Tell me they don't call you Cowboy." What is she talking about?
"What?"
"Tell me your friend Holden doesn't call you Cowboy. Shit, I'm so fucking stupid."
"Yeah. They all call me that, why?"
"Because I lied about my name when I first met you. I'm Kimber. I'm staying in that damn cabin just down this road right here. The road you're on going to check on 'something' Aiden. Tell me it's not Holden's friend you're headed to check on."
"Shit."
"Damn it. I never lie. You were some stranger I just met and I'm just trying to start a new life for myself, then you come up with that fucking smile and swagger and then I lied about my name. If I would've just said what my name is right then and there, you would've known right away, but nooooo, I name myself fucking cheese. Cheese, Aiden. I name myself cheese and have a great fucking time with a stranger that made me forget the shit I'm trying to move on from. I didn't think one fucking time about my real life. I just enjoyed you. I enjoyed being free from the weight of all the bullshit. Fuck." She starts to pace faster and I just lean up against the truck and watch her. This is not as bad as she's making it out to be.
"I kissed you. I kissed Luke's fucking friend. How can I move on from him when I kissed his friend? Hell, I would've slept with you if you hadn't decided to come here." I knew we were going there. Any chance of that has been blown out the window now.
"I'm such a whore."
"STOP. I can handle a lot of things, but I won't listen to you talk like that. You're not a damn whore. I can tell by the way you carry yourself. Hell, I saw plenty of whores in that bar, but you weren't one of them." I move to stop her angry pacing and she walks around me, then behind the truck.
"How does this happen? I went for groceries, decided to stop for a drink and a burger. You just walk in like you own the place, make me lose all logic, then boom, I've fucking kissed his friend. I don't kiss strangers. Hell, I've never even really had the real chance to date like normal people do."
"Are you a damn virgin?" I have to ask, because the way she's talking I'm not even sure what she's saying. She stops in front of me and looks at me like I'm crazy.
"No I'm not a virgin. I've just had a strange life. My father chose my boyfriends through business decisions. It's a long story and I'm just going to walk to the cabin. Can you have your sister's friend bring my Jeep here? I'll leave in the morning. I can't take this shit anymore." She starts to walk fast toward the cabin and I lean in to tell my sister to get the vehicles moved here before I run to catch up with her.
I finally reach her and flip her around to face me. "Stop walking so damn fast. We need to talk about tonight. Nothing happened and Luke isn't some jackass that would hold this against either of us. If he tried, I'd kick his ass."
"Why did I not see that your nickname would have to be Cowboy? Hell, I even heard the girls in the bathroom call you the cowboy and it didn't even register that you could possibly be him. Never."
"Everything happens for a reason."
"Oh my god. I can't even deal with this night. Can we just pretend none of this ever happened?" How can I forget tonight when I've had a great time? I know I'll have to because she's going to run. Not that I want to do anything with Luke's ex, but shit I had a great connection with this girl.
"We can talk about it all in the morning over breakfast if that's what you want." She starts to walk again, this time at a much slower pace.
"No, I'm leaving in the morning."
"Kimber. You and I both know you're here to figure out where you'll be going next. I know you haven't had time to think clearly and besides that, I'm here for the next four days for my fucking vacation. You may as well stay somewhere and think about what your next step should be."
"Aiden, I can't be around you for four days. I can't stay in the same house as you. The shit I've been thinking about is the exact reason I need to go."
Chapter Four
KIMBER
I can't stay. I'm not even sure how I'll get past the fact that I've done what I've done. He finally lets me walk the rest of the way by myself. I need fresh air and I can't seem to get that even though I'm in the wide open night air.
I walk onto the back deck of the cabin, and look down at the damn cheeseburger still in my hand. Seriously. I hate this. I should've known something so easy wouldn't be. I start to think about where I can go. New York City. Or Florida. Maybe I'll drive to both and see which I like better. A lot of drive time will do me good.
I sit back in the wooden chair and prop my feet onto the stool. The cheeseburger is cold by now, but I start opening the wrapper just as I hear his footsteps on the deck.
"Stay for at least one day. Think about your plan before you just get on the road. I'll leave you alone. You won't even know I'm here." He slides the glass door open and starts to step through it.
"Aiden." He takes a step back and we both look at each other. My mind flashes with his smile that no longer graces his face. The look is one of sadness or is it pity? He's not looking at me like he did at the bar. I'm sure my look has changed too.
"You don't have to hide. Just let me think."
"Alright." He moves to go back inside and I hate the way he looks right now. I wonder if he's mad at me for lying in the first place or if he's just upset how the whole night turned out.
I sit out on the deck for about an hour and reflect on a few things. I haven't heard a thing except the girls bringing my Jeep and his truck before they all left again.
How embarrassing. His sister knows about all of this and I know one day Luke will find out. He shouldn't care, but I just don't want him to think I'm trying to hang on to him. I walked away from him so he could have the happiness he was robbed of. Surely he wouldn't judge me for something I did at a bar when I didn't know it was his friend.
Why am I worried so much about this? Luke has so much going on in his life that he most likely won't even have time to care.
Shit. My nerves are shot and I know one person I can thank for that. My history with Greg kept me on edge every single minute of the day. The way I'm feeling right now is pulling me back to those days. The days before Luke calmed me and showed me how I deserved to be treated. But the pattern of behavior that I've lived my entire life is so easy to fall back into.
I need to focus on me. The old me and the new me. I'm a work in progress and I'm not afraid to admit that. If I ever have to face the consequences of the way I met Aiden, then I will.
I can finally breathe without the heaviness on my chest. I release a large breath and stand to look over the edge of the railing. I know the scenery is gorgeous even though it's dark. I'll need to have my coffee out here before I leave tomorrow.
I slide open the door and walk quietly to the master bedroom. I feel bad that I took his room, but I don't know where he is and I don't know that I want to open up doors to find an empty room. My luck, he'd be sleeping in one of the beds and I'd make this night even more awkward.
I still can't believe I let him know my mind had us having sex tonight. I'm not sure what I'm thinking. Sex after Luke will be tough. He was good and I truly cared about him. I think that made us even better. He was the first I actually cared about like that.
I turn the knob and close the door silently before releasing my grip. There's not a lock on the door, but I know he won't bother me.
I look around at my bags piled in the corner. Every single thing I own is right there in that three-foot space with the exception of my Jeep and the clothes on my body. It can’t get much more simple than this.
I remember to respond to Holden and send him a simple reply so he knows I’m ok.
Kimber: Sorry. I’ve been thinking a lot tonight. Your friend made it. I’ll call you tomorrow. Thanks for everything.
Holden: You scared the shit out of me. You almost had my ass on a plane coming to check on you.
Kimber: I promise I’m doing ok. I’ll do better staying in touch. Night.
Holden: Goodnight Kimber
. Remember we’re here if you need us.
I don’t respond to him. He knows I know that, just like he knows I don’t want to need them. I have the money from the last fight in my account. Luke had his own money from the band and wouldn’t let me give him the fight fee from that night. We only got half the money since the whole thing was busted, but that’s still enough to help me get relocated and figure out what I want to do with my life.
I take a deep breath and pull back the covers on the massive bed. I don’t even change out of my clothes before I crawl in and lay my head on one pillow and pull the other in close to wrap my arms around it, snuggling it as I bury my head into the softness surrounding me.
I leave the lamp on knowing it’s just easier when I’m in a strange house. It’s not long and I’m out for the night.
I’m watching a fight at my father’s gym. Greg is somewhere behind me and I know he’s watching me. I can feel him. That’s why I don’t dare let my eyes stay on any of the guys for longer than a brief glance. He’s jealous even though he has no reason to ever think I’d leave him.
I feel him come up behind me and the harsh fingers squeezing my hips tell me he thinks I’ve done something to defy him.
“I’ll kill you before I let you fuck him.”
“Who are you talking about? I haven’t done anything.”
“I saw you watching the Cowboy.”
I sit up fast and look for Greg in the room. Of course he’s not here, but I feel like he’s near and my heart won’t stop pounding with fear that he’s coming for me. I know he’s in prison, but I also know he has a way of getting to me no matter where he is. A small part of me wishes Luke would’ve ended him in the fight, but I know Luke didn’t need that kind of guilt.
My father did this to me. He orchestrated that whole night and has manipulated my whole life. I had no idea he locked them in for a til death fight only to make his fucking precious money. I hope he enjoys thinking about that the rest of his life as he rots in his own cell. He only slightly redeemed himself with his help to find Lilly, but I can never forgive him for all that he’s done.
I slide my legs off the bed, because there’s no way in hell I can go back to sleep now. The clock on the wall says four o’clock. It’s still the middle of the night, but after that nightmare, I need to find coffee.
I tip toe through the cabin and find the coffee pot. There’s barely enough coffee to make four cups, but that’s ok. That’s more than I’ll need.
The sound of the water keeps me from hearing the front door open, but I hear it close. I turn quickly to see who in the hell could be coming in the cabin at this hour. It’s Aiden.
“You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing?”
“Ah. Sorry. I just need to get a blanket and I’ll be out of here.”
“Where are you going?”
“I’ve been sleeping in the back of my truck.”
“No, you’re not doing that. Why would you do that Aiden?”
“Kimber. I know this is all hard on you and I don’t want to cause you anymore stress. I talked to Holden last night and I had no idea the shit you’ve been through.”
“So you now have pity for the girl. Great.” I turn to pour the water in the reservoir as slow as I possibly can to avoid this damn conversation.
“No pity. Just understanding. I now see why it was such a big damn deal for you that we connected last night.” We did connect damn it.
“And now you see why I’m leaving today.”
“No, actually. You’re not. I disabled your Jeep so you can’t go anywhere til I know you’re ok.”
“Are you kidding me? How do you think you have any right to do that?”
“Ev called and asked me to do it. Apparently you’ve made quite the impression on the crew and they care about you. I’ll fix it in a day or two when you’re leaving with a clear head.”
“Tampering with my Jeep is fucking low. What makes you think this will make me calm down and think things through? Have you even thought about how I’d feel if you fucked with MY Jeep?”
“I did.”
“Well, just know that I can hold my own and will just fix the fucking thing myself. You’d better just hope I don’t jack with yours before I go.”
“Don’t hate me for the situation. They just want you to know you’re not alone. I know Eaven is trying to leave on a roadtrip to come see you because you’re trying to rush out of here. They want to give you your space and also know you’re safe. This cabin is the happy medium. If you leave here, they are worried you will self-destruct.”
“I hate to tell them all, I’ve survived my whole life without someone watching over me.”
“You made it in, Kimber. Once you’re in, they take care of you.”
“Damn it. I’m not in. I’m Luke’s ex, or whatever you want to call me, and I just can’t sit and watch him live his happy life even though he deserves it more than anyone I know. I just can’t watch it all when I want that for myself. We had plans and he made promises that I’d never ask him to keep. In fact, I walked away from him because honestly, I couldn’t stomach watching him break the promises to me that he would obviously have to. He loves her. He never hid that from me. I love him. Now I need to keep my distance and figure out where I go from here.” He moves closer to me as I talk and sits on the bar stool while he watches me while I go on and on, probably sounding like I’ve lost my mind. But he never stops me.
“I mean, how do they expect me to stay in touch when I’ve never even met a group of people like them? It was like I had finally found a real family and I knew when I walked away from Luke that I had to walk away from all of them. That is his family and even though I really felt at home, it’s his home.” I stop and look at him. Why am I telling him all of this? He doesn’t want to hear my issues.
“Just please fix my Jeep and I promise not to leave until I’ve talked to you. I’m working on being completely independent, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to allow you to make me dependent on you when I’ve known you for less than ten hours.” I can’t even talk to him anymore. Reliving all of these feelings is gutting me and I can feel that damn cheeseburger arguing with me and threatening to exit without warning.
I move fast for the master bedroom and go straight to the bathroom and the toilet. My stomach is screaming and my hair falls in my face as I lose the tequila, Jack, cheeseburger, and hell, I think I even lost the salad I had the day before.
I feel his hands brush my face as he pulls my hair back and places a wet towel on my neck. Damn it. Luke was the first to ever do that for me. “Kimber. It’s all going to work out. You just have to remember to live. You deserve to be happy and you’ll find that one day.” I slowly move to my feet and slide the towel in front of my face. I’m a fucking mess. The last thing he needs is to have to take care of me and my complicated issues.
Chapter Five
AIDEN
I wish I could make her calm down. I know she’s hurting, it’s damn obvious on her face. Her life has been hell. Holden told me about her father and that fucker that Luke fought in the ring. I wish like hell I would’ve been there to see that.
She leaves me standing in the bathroom after she flushes the evidence of her stress. “Did you really just hold my damn hair. What’s with you Southern boys?”
“What’s the big deal? Kimber, sometimes you have to let others take care of you.”
“No really, Aiden. I don’t. Because I need to learn that I’m on my own in this journey. I’ve literally walked away from everything and everyone in my life the last few weeks. I needed to get away from all the things that…” She stops talking and looks at her hands.
“Things that what?”
“Just never mind. I told you I’d stay until I told you I was ready to go. I just need to spend time thinking about where I’m headed from here.”
“Things that could hurt you?” She looks at me instantly with anger in her eyes.
“You don’t get to think you know me tha
t quickly. Aiden, please go fix my Jeep right now. I’ll call a tow truck and leave in it if you don’t fix the fucker.” She throws one of her bags on the bed and starts taking everything out.
“I didn’t mess with your Jeep. I would never do that to you. Eaven may have wanted me to keep you safe at all costs, but I do have standards. Kimber, I understand that you want to get away from the group of people that Luke calls family. But just know that in some way they’ll always be yours too. Even if you create a distance with them, they’d all rush to help you if ever needed.” She stops digging frantically as soon as I say I didn’t mess up her Jeep.
“Thank you. I know they just want to help, but it’s really just something I need to do for me.”
“I can respect that.” I can. In fact, it fucking makes me like her even more. How can I still find her so attractive even though I know who she’s been with and that she already has one leg out the door? I need my head examined, but there was something about her the second I saw her and damn it if this shit doesn’t just seem par for my life.
How many times have I been the one to help the girl pick up the pieces only to be left with my own brokenness to deal with?
“Why don’t we just make this a day of simple living? Give you some time to think and reflect. Then maybe you can clearly make a decision about where you want to go from here.” I can see her wheels spinning and I know I’ve tempted her with the simplicity of my plan.
“What are you thinking?”
“Well I’d start the day with breakfast. Then I’d find a fishing hole and maybe catch dinner. I’d make it a day with no plans and let life take us where it takes us.”
“That actually sounds amazing.”
“Alright. You get dressed and I’ll see if we have anything at all to cook in that kitchen.”
“I saw bacon in the freezer and waffle mix in the pantry. Other than that, it’s pretty bare.”
“What if we go and let Rosie make us the works? She opens back up in an hour for breakfast.”
