Unfortunately, that particular reason was upstairs at this very moment, sharing Doritos with my brother.
I spent the afternoon working on dinner, doing my homework at the dining room table, and getting Johnny up and changed after his nap.
Thankfully, the little guy was a pure pleasure. It seemed as if he had decided to skip his terrible twos and just enjoy the world as it was.
When I put him down in his playpen, he smiled up at me like I was the greatest big sister in the world. It was enough to make my eyes all watery.
By dinner time I was almost feeling normal. That was the thing about my family. There were always too many things going on for any one person to take their problems too seriously.
I thought for sure I was going to be okay until I realized they’d placed Tank next to my chair.
I was bringing the salad bowl to the table when I saw him sitting there like a giant tree stump. My heart lurched for a second. He seemed to fill half the room.
Swallowing hard, I placed the salad on the table and sat down next to him. The tension between us was like a vibrating wall of pure energy. It was enough to make a girl rethink her love for her family. How could they do this? Place me here, next to him.
Jason and Amber were whispering about something. Mom saw and shook her head, but I could see a secret smile behind her eyes. She really liked Amber, thought she was a good influence on Jason. She didn’t put up with his crap and was helping him keep his grades up so he could get into college.
Besides, Amber loved books. That made my mother, the librarian, love her even more.
Tank reached for the garlic bread and then passed the platter to me. Our fingers brushed for just the briefest of seconds. I thought for sure he’d see the electrical shock running up my arm. How couldn’t he be aware of what he was doing to me?
I held my breath as everyone began eating. I had this sudden vision of them all falling over with food poisoning or choking on their food as the desperately tried to get rid of the taste.
The thought of Tank not liking it filled me with pure terror. The boy hadn’t turned down food once in his entire life. The thought of him turning up his nose and pushing his plate away wouldn’t leave my mind. It was like a horror movie, playing over and over inside my head.
“Thanks, Mrs. T,” he said around a mouthful of spaghetti, “It’s very good.”
Mom smiled. “Don’t thank me, Marla prepared dinner tonight.”
He stopped chewing for a second then he nodded sharply and muttered, “Thank you,” to me. I swear it was like pulling teeth.
“If Marla cooked dinner, does that mean I have to do the dishes?” Jason asked with a sour look. Amber elbowed him in the ribs.
“Yes,” my father said as if it was a dumb question. Jason’s shoulders slumped in defeat. My dad smiled at me and gave me a quick wink. “It is good honey, thanks.”
I tried to keep my face from blushing too much. Suddenly, the last thing I wanted was to be the center of attention. Why couldn’t my family just eat their food and shut-up?
Of course, my appetite had disappeared as soon as I saw the seating arrangements. For some reason, the idea of Tank watching me eat filled me with a sickening terror that threatened to stop my heart.
I picked at my food and tried to ignore the wall between us. Why? I wondered. Tank had eaten thousands of meals at our house. He was like a piece of the furniture. Solid, friendly, always there. Now, here he was, inches away, and I was having a hard time thinking straight.
I caught a brief smell of soap, leather, and Tank. The subtle smell filled me. Every crease of my soul seemed to reach out and hold on to it. Closing my eyes, I let the scent wash over me, knowing I would never forget it.
My father chose that moment to interrupt my drifting thoughts and bring me back to reality.
“So Marla,” he asked, “Anything interesting happen at school today. Any boys, Jason and I need to be worrying about?”
My stomach jumped into my throat as I glanced at Tank. He’d stopped eating for a moment, his fork halfway between his plate and his mouth.
The tips of his ears were turning bright red, and I knew he was thinking of our run in. Thanks, Dad, I’d almost been able to put my idiocy out of my mind.
“John!” my mother said with a quick shake of her head.
My dad looked back at her with a confused frown then shrugged his shoulders and resumed eating.
“No,” I said, “Just another day.”
After that, the rest of the meal went by in a numbed blur. People talking, laughing, teasing. But it didn’t really register with me. All I could think about was that awkward wall between Tank and me.
I wondered if it would ever go away. Then I wondered if he felt it. Probably not, I realized. To him, I was the little sister who had yelled at him earlier. No big deal.
The realization that he wasn’t even aware of how awkward things were between us sent a bolt of pure pain through me.
I just couldn’t handle this anymore.
Tossing my napkin on my plate, I said, “May I be excused, I’ve got a bunch of homework I need to finish.”
Before anyone could say anything, I slid my chair back, grabbed my plate and got the hell out of there. My world might be screwed up. But that didn’t mean I had to sit there and enjoy it.
After I had cleaned my plate into the trash, I went out through the laundry room just so I wouldn’t have to walk back by the dining room. The last thing I wanted was questioning looks from my mother or a worried frown from Amber.
The only thing worse would have been seeing Tank enjoying himself in my absence.
God, I had it bad. There was no longer any doubt in my mind. I was a full on lost cause.
Throwing myself on my bed, I tried to push everything out of my mind. The words I’d screamed at Tank that morning. The way I became a jittery fool whenever I was in the same room with him.
No wonder he couldn’t like me. I must seem like such a child to him. A ridiculous little girl with a silly crush.
My insides turned over for the hundredth time as I fought to stop from crying.
Somehow or other, I fell asleep for a few hours which meant my night was going to be filled with tossing and turning. At least that was the explanation I was going to use.
When I woke from my nap, I changed into my favorite silk pajama shorts and a tank top. I didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing me in them. Tank and Jason would hang out in the basement playing Madden until Tank headed home.
The house was quiet, I wondered briefly if everyone was already asleep. Shrugging my shoulders, I turned over and punched my pillow to try and find a comfortable position.
Of course, nothing worked. Instead, I tossed and tumbled half the night into the early hours of the morning. In fact, I’d moved so much my blankets were wrapped around my legs like a giant snake refusing to let me go.
Reaching over, I turned off my alarm before it could go off and headed for the bathroom. The horror that greeted me in the mirror made my squeal.
Frizzy hair, bags under my eyes that made it look like I hadn’t slept in a week and I swear, a pimple threating to show up on my forehead.
Great, just what I needed.
Then, to top it off, I couldn’t find my favorite blouse. The pink one that made me look semi-pretty.
Grumbling under my breath I headed down to the laundry room to see if it was in the folded clothes. Clothes I should have moved upstairs yesterday if I hadn’t been avoiding the whole downstairs situation.
“Mom,” I yelled as I hurried down the stairs, rubbing my eyes. “Have you seen my pink top?”
A gentle cough grabbed my attention.
Tank was sitting at our kitchen table, his mouth open, staring at me like I was a long-lost yeti.
My stomach dropped to the floor, and my heart stopped beating. NO! This couldn’t be happening. Not now.
His eyes shot down to my bare legs and then quickly looked away as if the mere sight of me was
enough to put him off his food.
How was this possible?
“What are you doing here?” I barked.
“Marla,” Mom said sternly as she placed a plate of toast on the table. “Tank’s staying with us for a few days.” Her frown let me know that she wasn’t very pleased with me at the moment. The one thing mom would not tolerate was rudeness.
“But ... but ...” I muttered as I tried to get my mind around the fact that Tank Gunderson was sitting there looking at me like I was some creature from the swamp.
I did what any normal girl would do, I screamed and ran back to my room.
The funny thing is, I swear I could feel Tanks eyes staring at my silk clad butt the entire time.
Chapter Five
Tank
Oh crap, I thought, as I watched Marla run from the room. When did that happen? How was it possible that I hadn’t noticed those long legs before? Or the curve of her waist? Or every other perfect curve, for that matter.
It was like being blindsided on the football field. It hit me out of nowhere.
The girl was gorgeous. Pure, knock you over with a feather type gorgeous.
I know I shouldn’t be thinking like this. Not about Marla. But, that was now impossible. I would never be able to look at her the same again. She wasn’t little Marla. No. definitely not. That body, that face, oh my God, what was I going to do.
Mrs. T gave me a curious frown making me close my mouth and focus on the food in front of me. No way did I need her knowing the thoughts racing through my brain about her daughter.
Those were the kind of thoughts that could get a guy shot.
I quickly finished my cereal and said, “Thanks, Mrs. T, I’m going to run home and get changed and pick up a few things. Thank you for letting me stay for a few days. It’s just until we get things figured out.”
“No problem Tank,” she said as she gently patted my shoulder. “You know you are always welcome here.”
I wondered if she would have said that if she could have seen what I was thinking about her daughter.
The sudden realization of what Jason would do if he ever found out, sent a cold chill down my spine. Then I thought of Mr. Turner. The man would string me up from the rafters and let me hang there like a cured ham.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, fighting to get out of there before anyone could read what I was thinking.
Great, I couldn’t stay at home. Not with him there. And now, it looked like I couldn’t stay at the Turners. Not with Marla there.
Something had shifted inside of me. I don’t know how. But suddenly, things were different.
Marla had always been special. Feisty, quick with a comeback and heaven help you if you got on her bad side. But she was also sweeter than cotton candy. Kind, and gentle. The kind of person who would move heaven and earth to help a friend.
But that wasn’t what I couldn’t stop thinking about. It was those long legs.
Me and Marla had always been close. I liked watching out for her. She’d always been so tiny. Her fair hair and twinkling blue eyes had made her look like a fairy when she was little.
The kind that brought magic into the world.
She was the one person in my life who accepted me for the way I was. Big, lumbering, clumsy at times. Never looking down on me. Never teasing me when I over reacted.
I knew that I sometimes reacted without thinking. Lashing out before I had time to think. A trait that had been highly praised on the football field. But not exactly endearing in real life.
I knew that the rest of the time I was rather quiet. The kind of guy who was perfectly all right with letting other people do the talking.
With Nick and Luke, and even Jason. That had never really been an issue. Those guys could talk forever. It seemed like they each had a different opinion about everything. That was one of the things I liked about my friends, they didn’t expect me to keep a conversation going.
That was the thing about Marla. Just like the guys. I had never felt pressured to entertain her. Never felt any expectation.
The problem was. She wasn’t one of the guys. Not anymore. Not with legs like that.
Sighing, I headed for my house. My guts were tied up in a knot as I stepped inside. Why was it like this? I wondered. My own house and I felt like an intruder. It wasn’t right.
“Tank? Is that you,” my mom called from the kitchen.
Her words made my shoulders hunch like I was waiting for a sword to fall.
“Yeah, mom,” I said. “I’m going to grab some things and stay over at Jason’s for a few days.”
She stepped out of the kitchen, a heavy frown on her face. She looked at me for a long moment then slowly nodded. I could see a small sense of relief behind her eyes, like she was glad that at least one of her problems had been taken care of.
Great, my own mom was pleased I was not going to be there.
Grumbling under my breath, I rushed back to my room. Maybe if I was lucky, I could get in and out without running into him. The anger bubbling just under my skin was threatening to blow up. There was absolutely no telling what would happen if my dad and I locked horns.
Throwing on a clean set of clothes, I stuffed a gym bag with extras and headed out.
As I came out of my room, he was coming out of theirs. We stood there for a long minute looking at each other. Like two snakes crawling through the bushes, coming face to face. My stomach felt like it had turned to solid rock. The man pissed me off. Every breath he took was a waste of air.
Pushing past him, I started for the front door before I said or did something that could not be fixed.
“Where you going?” he demanded.
It was like an arrow to the back. A sharp pain right between my shoulder blades.
I hunched with the blow, hesitated for a moment, then continued on. Just get out, I told myself. Get away.
Once I was outside, and the door was closed behind me, I was able to take a full breath. The sweet clean morning air filled my lungs as I fought to regain control.
The man had been gone for six years, and he walks back into our lives as if nothing happened. My mom had to scrimp and save, work two jobs and cry herself to sleep too many nights. Or worse, drink herself to sleep. Because that selfish bastard couldn’t keep his pecker in his pants and his hand out of the till.
I shook my head to clear the fog and headed back to Jason’s. Only to find my second biggest problem waiting for me.
Jason, Amber, and Marla were outside. Standing there like silent sentries to see if I was all right. I could feel my cheeks growing red from the embarrassment. I had to tell Jason what was going on when I asked to crash at his place. So of course, the whole world had to know.
The raging shame flowing through me made me want to punch something. Anything.
“We’re taking mom’s car,” Jason said. “She has to borrow my truck. Some kind of book moving thing at the library.”
To them, it wasn’t that big a deal. Marla got to ride with us instead of the bus. But otherwise. No big deal.
For me, it felt like one more spear thrust to my guts.
Gritting my teeth, I nodded. Hey, I was lucky to have a ride. Quit your bitching and suck it up, I thought to myself, as I got into the back seat.
Marla got in on the other side without looking at me. What was it now? I wondered. She couldn’t possibly still be mad at me about that Justin creep yesterday.
The soft scent of a subtle flowery perfume pulled at me. Making me glance over at Marla. She looked as pretty as a summer sunrise. A cute pink top, golden hair, sparkling blue eyes.
The girl was heart-stopping gorgeous. Why hadn’t I seen it before now?
She was staring straight ahead, totally ignoring me. Oh well, this was Jason’s kid sister, I reminded myself. It was better this way.
Sighing heavily, I turned to look out the window. But that soft perfume wouldn’t leave me alone. It was like a magic spell that kept pulling at my heart.
Crap, i
t was killing me slowly. But hey, I had completely stopped thinking about my dad.
The ride to school was silent and awkward. I could see Amber keep shooting Jason questioning looks. He’d just shrug his shoulders.
It was like a heavy mist had settled over everyone, keeping them in their own little world.
I know they were each thinking about my dad coming back. About how they now had a thief living in their neighborhood. I’m sure Jason didn’t mind me crashing there. But, the fact that I didn’t want to go to my own house was not exactly a fun topic of conversation.
Instead, we each looked out our own window ignoring each other.
The silence was eating me up on the inside. I could take the embarrassment about my dad. It was what it was. What I couldn’t stand, was the idea of Marla being mad at me. It just ate at my soul.
I glanced over at her, but she continued to ignore me. It was like she’d put up a brick wall between us.
No, this wasn’t right. I had almost gathered enough courage to try and breach the wall when Jason pulled into the school parking lot. Marla was up and out of the car before he’d stopped.
“Marla,” I yelled as I rushed after her.
She stopped in her tracks but didn’t turn around. Waiting for me to catch up with her.
I quickly got between her and the front doors of the school.
She was looking down at the ground, as if unwilling to look at me. Jesus, how pissed was she? I wondered.
“Listen, I’m sorry,” I said. I didn’t exactly know what I was sorry about. All I had done was try to help her out. Like I had done for my entire life. But for some reason, I’d screwed it up this time.
Her brow creased with confusion as she looked up at me. Her eyes finally looking into mine.
“For what?” she asked.
Crap, she was going to make me grovel and crawl.
“For getting between you and Justin. I shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t think and just stepped in where I didn’t belong. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
Her confused look took on several new creases as she slowly shook her head.
“Justin?” she asked, “You think I’m mad at you about Justin.”
My Brother's Best Friend (The Lakeland Boys Book 3) Page 3
