by A. P. Watson
“Tennessee. Didn’t Misty tell you that?”
He shook his head before answering. “No. I told her I wanted to get to know you myself.”
“That’s sweet.”
Kenneth shrugged his shoulders, his gaze dropping to the table. “I try.”
“Have you guys had enough time to look over the menu?” our waiter asked after silently approaching with a pad of paper and a pen in his hands.
“I have. Wren?” Kenneth asked.
“Yeah. I’ll have the Palomilla and a mojito to drink,” I said, flashing my driver’s license.
“And for you, sir?”
“I’ll take the Chivo and then a side order of sweet plantains.”
“Would you like another glass of rum?”
“No, just a glass of water this time.”
“Alright,” our waiter said, jotting down the order. “I’ll have that out to you in just a bit.”
“Thank you,” Kenneth replied, handing over our menus.
“So,” I began, “where are you from?”
“I’m originally from Dayton, Ohio. I moved here for work.”
“How long have you lived here?”
“Six years.”
“Do you ever think about moving back home?” I asked.
“No, I love it here.”
“Me too. I’ve only lived here since last August, but I love this city.”
“Well, I for one am glad you decided to move up here,” he replied sweetly.
“You sure are a smooth talker, aren’t you?”
He chuckled a bit. “Honestly, I think it’s the rum that’s making me so confident.”
“Rum has been known to do that.”
“Very true.”
“Here are your drinks.” Our waiter placed a glass of water in front of Kenneth and a mojito in front of me before scurrying away. The restaurant was filled to the brim with people, and food and drinks littered the tables surrounding us.
I took a sip of the mojito, savoring the taste. “So, I know you are a pharmaceutical sales rep, but what company do you work for?”
“Right now, I’m working for Publicis Healthcare Communications Group,” he answered. “I started working for them a little over a year ago, and I really like it. We sell diabetic medications and testing supplies.”
“That’s awesome.”
“Have you always worked in the intensive care unit?”
“Yeah. It was my favorite rotation during clinicals, so as soon as I graduated, I got a job working in the ICU at a hospital back in Tennessee.”
Our waiter’s return with our appetizers created a break in the conversation. The food was delicious, and the company proved to be just as wonderful. Admittedly, I had my doubts about whether or not going on another blind date was a wise decision, but so far, things were off to a good start.
“Would you like another mojito?”
“Actually, would you care to order me an iced tea instead?” I asked, standing. “I’m just going to run to the ladies’ room real quick.”
“Okay.”
“Thanks so much, darlin’.”
Kenneth beamed at my reply. “My pleasure.”
I hurried through the crowded restaurant in search of the restroom. Sure enough, it was at the very back of the building. I navigated around multiple tables until finally reaching my destination. After touching up my lipstick and tousling my hair a bit, I returned to the crowded restaurant. I was almost back to the table when a familiar voice stopped me.
“It’s good to see you again, Wren.”
My teeth ground together as I turned on my heel. “Henry.”
“So you do remember me,” he replied with a grin. He may have only been dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a navy cardigan, but his smug attitude was the exact same one he donned while wearing a designer suit.
“Believe me, I wish I could forget.”
“You look lovely, as always.” He kissed my cheek, quickly rescinding. “Not here with Jackson?” He gazed around the restaurant in a clear attempt to confirm his suspicions.
“We stopped seeing each other a long time ago.”
“That’s right.”
“Well, this has certainly been an enthralling conversation, but someone is waiting for me.”
“Someone? Like a date?”
“I missed the part where that’s any of your business.”
He inched closer, leaning to whisper in my ear. “I’d like to make it my business.”
“Unfortunately for you, harassment is a crime.”
“There is that mouth.”
I smiled as I stared him down. “Tell me something, Henry. What bothers you more: The fact you want what you can’t have? Or the fact that Jackson had what you want?” I let the sting of my words sink in for a few moments. As I hoped, my comment flustered Henry. He ran a hand through his hair repeatedly, clearly at a loss for words. “We both know I find you repulsive, and while you’re content to waste your time talking to me, I’d rather you not waste mine.” I tossed my hair over my shoulder and spun around.
When I approached Kenneth, he smiled and stood. “The food and your tea arrived while you were gone.”
“Excellent. Thank you so much for ordering it.”
“It was no trouble at all.” We each dug in to our meals, which proved to be even more delicious than the empanadas. “I saw you talking to that man. Is he a friend?”
I gulped loudly, washing down a bite of food with half my glass of tea. “More like an acquaintance.”
“Oh, okay, I just wondered because it looked like the two of you knew each other.”
“Nope, just a simple acquaintance.”
“How is your food?” he asked.
“Delicious,” I answered. “Yours?”
“It’s really good. I’ve been wanting to try this place for a while but never found the time to make it over here until tonight.”
“Well, I’m glad we have the opportunity to try it together.”
Kenneth and I finished our food and each had another drink over the course of the next two hours. Time slipped away from both of us, and to my surprise, I was even glad he offered to walk me to my car.
When we reached Harlow, he motioned repeatedly between the pristine copper exterior and me.
“This is your car?” he questioned incredulously.
“Yep. This is my baby.”
“That’s a ‘68 Camaro.”
I nodded. “I’m well aware,” I replied with a slight laugh.
“I didn’t think you could get any cooler, and then you pull this on me.”
I smiled at his compliment. “I have a soft spot for classic cars.”
“Who doesn’t?”
“That’s a good point.” I unlocked the door and tossed my purse on the opposite seat. “Well, Kenneth, thank you for dinner and the drinks. I had a great time.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” he stated. “And I had a great time too.” He kissed me on the cheek before helping me inside the car. “Is it okay if I call you later?”
“Of course.”
“Okay, good. Well, good night.” He waved, backing away from the car door.
“Night,” I said, returning his wave.
When I got back to the townhouse, Ter was already waiting on the couch for me.
“So, how did it go?”
“Really good actually.”
“You say that like you’re surprised!” she cried, standing up from the leather sofa.
“With my track record, aren’t you?”
“No! You’re an amazing person and amazing people attract wonderful things.”
I stepped past her and headed for the kitchen. There was a bottle of Moscato in the fridge and it had our names on it. I filled two glasses with bubbling liquid and handed one to her. “Kenneth was really sweet, shy, and cute. It was a very successful date and the conversation was excellent . . .”
“But . . .”
“I don’t know.”
“But . . .”
“But something felt like it was missing,” I blurted out.
“I see.”
I took a large gulp of wine. “Don’t be using your Jedi mind tricks on me.”
“I said two words!”
“And you’ve always had a knack for knowing me better than I know myself, so spit out whatever it is you’re thinking.”
Ter sat on one of the stools at the bar, positioning herself across from me. “What was it like when you were with Jackson?” I groaned loudly. I should’ve known this is where she’d steer the conversation. “Stop thinking about how it ended or about the negativity. What was it like before all that happened?”
“Effortless,” I whispered, breathing deeply. “We clicked instantly, and he viewed all my flaws as things to admire, not hide.”
“I’m guessing you didn’t feel anything remotely close to that this evening?”
“No, but Jacks and I used to spend a lot of time together.”
“That is true,” Ter countered. “However, y’all had an instant connection. I saw it the day after your first date.”
“So what if we did? It’s not like it matters anymore.”
“Jackson is a good guy. One mistake doesn’t negate all the thoughtful and kind things he did for you.”
“Don’t use logic on me!”
“All I’m saying is it doesn’t matter who you go on a date with because that man will never be Jackson.”
I released a deep breath. Every word she uttered was the truth. Any man who wasn’t Jacks would always be second best. “I did compare them . . . subconsciously.”
“I know, babe.” She reached across the counter, taking my hand in hers. “Even if you don’t acknowledge it, or even if you don’t realize it, part of you will always be tied to him.”
I dropped my gaze, the truth of her words seeping into my bones. “How do I stop it?”
“Find someone who can break the tether.”
“That’s easier said than done.”
She nodded slightly, her features turning somber. “Sometimes it can’t be done at all.”
chapter five
completely stranded
WE FINISHED THAT BOTTLE of wine since Ter and I aren’t quitters. I drank to quiet the words she uttered. Perhaps there would always be a tether between Jacks and me. The way I felt about him had never been matched at any point in my entire life. Even if I could forget what we had, would I really want to? There was some truth in him being a good man. Part of me wanted to believe his acts of kindness couldn’t be obliterated by a single gesture, but the pain of seeing him and Elise together was too severe to overlook.
As soon as Ryan returned from hanging out with my ex-best friend, he and Ter passed out. Damn dayshifters. They were always fucking lightweights. So, that left me, the couch, and Netflix together once more. The three of us were practically inseparable these days anyway. To say I was sick of it was an understatement. But the moment I began to dwell on my loneliness, my phone lit up with not one but two text messages.
Kenneth: I really had a great time tonight, and I can’t wait to see you again.
Me: Me too. When exactly did you want to see me?
Kenneth: Sunday night?
Me: I’m actually working this Sunday. How does Tuesday sound?
Despite my aversions to Netflix, I turned on the television. But in an attempt to alleviate the sting of solitude, I also snagged my laptop from my room. Sasha was planning a recital soon, and I needed to choose a song so I could start choreographing a routine. Dancing equated to distraction, and there was no better way to disrupt my current train of thought. Okay, so I was also trying to postpone the inevitable. When my phone first lit up, my eyes caught sight of the letter J and panic set in. Now, I was trying to do everything but look at that second text message.
I searched through my iTunes library four times as I anxiously awaited Kenneth’s reply, but when he didn’t answer after a few more minutes, I decided to bite the bullet.
Jacks: Hey. I got your invitation to Terayn and Ryan’s engagement party. When did you want to start planning everything?
Me: Ideally, we need to get started as soon as possible.
Jacks: How about tomorrow night?
The moment his text came through, a lump caught in my throat. Technically, we did need to get started on making arrangements as soon as possible, but fuck. Tomorrow night? I was more ready to perform open heart surgery than I was to see Jacks in the next twenty-four hours.
Me: Tomorrow?
Jacks: Too soon?
Me: No.
Yes, too soon. Several years too soon as a matter of fact.
Jacks: You can just text me a list of things you need me to do if you’d prefer not to see me. I understand if you’d rather not meet in person.
Me: Well, we’ll have to see each other at the party.
Jacks: So you might as well get it over with. Duly noted.
Me: That’s not what I meant.
Jacks: It should be.
Me: Jacks . . .
Jacks: Have you been watching The X-Files?
I didn’t miss how he diverted our conversation away from more serious subject matter. The two of us were never really good at discussing important topics. We much preferred our haven of avoidance.
Me: No. You?
Jacks: Nope. It’s just not the same.
Me: Agreed.
Jacks: How is tomorrow at Monteverde? 6:00?
Me: I’ll be there.
Jacks: Good.
Nervous energy simmered in the pit of my stomach at the thought of seeing him again. But I was a strong woman, and I’d been through worse. If I could get through everything Liam put me through, I could see Jacks again. But something deep inside called me out on my lie. What Jacks did brought out old wounds, and somehow, he also managed to cut me deeper than Liam ever had.
Jacks: I’m glad you decided to keep Harlow. She belongs with you.
Me: She certainly was a sight for sore eyes.
Jacks: I’m sure.
Me: What are you doing up so late?
Jacks: Can’t sleep.
Me: You never did sleep well.
Jacks: Nope. What about you? Perpetual night shift habit?
Me: Yep, you know me. The moon rules every moment of my life.
Jacks: We made a support group for this kind of thing once before.
Me: True. I guess we’re just a couple lost causes.
Jacks: Me, yes. You, absolutely not.
Me: Glad someone has faith in me. I’m just so nervous about this whole party planning business. I want to host an amazing party for Ter and Ryan, yet instead of searching through recipes and drink ideas on Pinterest, I’m researching music.
Jacks: The party will be amazing, don’t worry. We’ll make sure of it. And what are you researching music for?
Me: Sasha is planning a recital soon and I need to choose a song so I can start choreographing a dance.
Jacks: And you’re having trouble thinking of a song?
Me: Yeah. I mean dancing to Talk Show Host was a given.
As soon as I sent the message, I cringed. That song belonged to both of us. Its melody bound our souls together, leading our friendship past the point of no return. Thinking of it made me remember the first time we’d ever listened to it together. We were in much the same predicament as we’re in now. Our chaotic sleep schedules had wreaked havoc on our bodies—Jacks’s more so than mine—so I put both of us in my bed to help us rest. Eventually, we each found reprieve in each other’s company and the sultry sounds of Radiohead.
Jacks: True. Do you mind if I make a suggestion?
Me: Not at all.
Jacks: You should dance to Closer by Kings of Leon.
Me: I happen to love that song! Why didn’t I think of it?
Jacks: Because there are too many incredible songs to choose from. And I’m glad, I think it suits you.
Immediately, I pulled up the song on my computer. It was dark
, mysterious, and the lead singer’s voice was teeming with pain. Something I could not only relate to, but also channel through my movements. Leave it to Jacks to pick a song that perfectly depicted every emotion I was currently feeling.
Me: Geez, I love this song so much. It’s simply perfect.
Jacks: You’re listening to it right now, aren’t you?
Me: Yep.
Jacks: Me too.
Two words. That was all it took for me to remember what Ter and I had been talking about just hours ago. Remnants of the connection Jacks and I used to share were beginning to resurface. The tether was rearing its ugly head, and for the second time tonight, Ter’s words echoed inside my mind.
Would I ever be able to escape her ominous warning?
Thankfully, I wasn’t given much time to consider it. Kenneth’s reply lit up my phone, and the sight was certainly a welcome one.
Kenneth: Sorry I’m just now getting back to you. I needed to take a quick shower.
Me: That’s okay.
Kenneth: But Tuesday is too far away. How does tomorrow night at 7:30 sound?
Apparently, the universe liked giving me the finger, because my earlier admission of being lonely had just been completely obliterated. I’d gone from Netflix and wine to dining with two different men in the span of an hour.
Me: That sounds great!
Kenneth: Awesome! I’ll make reservations tomorrow and call you with the details.
Me: Can’t wait.
Kenneth: Me neither. Well, I’m off to get some sleep, but I hope you have a wonderful night and I’ll see you tomorrow.
Me: Good night.
I never replied to Jacks’s other text message. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. After everything we’d been through, we were still sharing parts of ourselves with one another. And that was something I found truly frightening. I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t allow someone to fool me twice ever again.
I sat on the couch for a long while, content to indulge in the silence. But even an absence of sound will eventually become deafening. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I liked Kenneth. Even if I’d only just met him, he was sweet, and that was definitely something I needed in my life. But what did I feel for Jacks? I longed to believe the answer was a simple one. The truth, on the other hand, wasn’t so distinct.
