by A. P. Watson
“I love you too.” I ended the call and sucked in a deep breath to steady my hands. “I can’t go to your place. I need you to drive me to Jacks’s apartment. It’s an emergency.”
“Is everything okay?” Kenneth asked, concern lacing his voice.
“No.”
“Okay.”
I spit out directions to Jacks’s apartment, anxiety creeping into my bones with every mile. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how devastated Jacks must be. David was the only family he had left. His relationship with his grandfather meant the world to him, and now it was gone.
The moment Kenneth placed the car in park, I jumped out and bolted toward the lobby of Jacks’s apartment building. Throwing my purse over my shoulder, I sprinted forward, not even caring if Kenneth was behind me. My lungs burned as I ran, but I pushed on, only stopping once I reached the elevator. I pressed the button, willing the fucking machine to move faster.
We rode to the fifteenth floor in silence. As soon as the metal doors opened, I shot through them and continued down the hall to Jacks’s place. I quickly removed my key and unlocked the door. My conversation with Ter had done nothing to prepare me for the mess I saw when I opened the door.
Shards of glass littered the floor from the kitchen to the living room. Broken remnants of plates were scattered across the island in the kitchen and the glass top of the dining table had a long crack in it. The couch in the living room was overturned, pillows scattered on every side.
“Thank God you’re here.” Ter ran toward me, wrapping her arms around my neck. Tear stains covered her cheeks.
“I’m sorry I didn’t pick up sooner. I shouldn’t have had my ringer turned off.”
“All that matters is you’re here now,” Ryan said, moving to hug me as soon as Ter let go.
“He wouldn’t listen to you?” I asked.
“No. I tried, but he took a bottle of scotch to his room and shut the door.”
“He didn’t lock it, did he?”
“No,” Ryan answered.
“But we haven’t tried talking to him again. We didn’t want him to lock himself up in his room,” Ter added.
I dropped my purse on the counter. “Where is Ford?”
Ryan rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at me. “He’s at our place. I took him over there right after Jackson lost it.”
“Let me talk to him. I’ll calm him down.”
“Wren,” Kenneth said from behind me.
Truth be told, the second I had laid eyes on Jacks’s apartment, I’d completely forgotten he was there.
“What?” I spit the word out of my mouth as if it were venom.
“Look at the state of this apartment. You shouldn’t go back there by yourself.”
“Jacks would never, ever hurt me,” I spat. “I can’t believe you would even begin to insinuate something like that.”
“He’s upset and angry.”
“I know. That’s why he needs me.” I turned on my heel and slipped down the hall. If he said one more idiotic thing to me, I was going to punch that fucker in the throat.
When I reached the door to Jacks’s bedroom, I knocked softly. I waited outside for a minute, but he never answered. Taking a few deep breaths, I opened the door, quickly shutting it behind me. Jacks was on the bed, his head cradled in his hands. A half empty bottle of scotch sat next to his feet, and blood dripped from his knuckles. He didn’t even stir at the sound of my entrance.
“Terayn, Ryan, I can’t right now. Please, just go away. I don’t want to talk to anyone.” I pushed forward, each step taking me closer to him. “Did you not hear me?” This time his voice rose, anger evident in every syllable he uttered.
I tried to speak, but no words ever came. Instead, I placed my hand against his cheek, softly caressing his skin. He inhaled sharply, his hands wrapping around my arm as if he were afraid I’d slip through his fingers. His eyes opened, grief pouring through every facet of his soul. I wanted to ease his suffering, but at this moment, it seemed impossible. “I’m so sorry, Jacks,” I whispered. A single tear slipped from the corner of his eye, carving a path across his cheek. That bead of water was almost my undoing.
He tried to stand but was brought to his knees instead. Jacks slumped before me, his hands reaching out. “I can’t fucking do this. Not again.”
“I know, sweetie.” I knelt with him and pulled him into my arms. “I know.”
A strangled gasp escaped his lips. “After my parents died, this was my biggest fear,” he confessed. “The thought of being completely alone. I—” Tears ran down his cheeks, dripping onto my thighs. “I don’t have anyone.”
“That’s not true.” His pain gripped my heart, threatening to rip it apart. He’d suffered more than his fair share of loss. What could I ever say to make it better? Because the only thing I wanted was to make all of his pain fade away.
“Isn’t it though?” he asked.
“You have me.”
“You’ll leave me as soon as you get the chance.”
“Jacks, look at me.” When he lifted his gaze, I set my forehead against his. “I’m not going to leave you.”
“You should. I deserve to feel this way.”
“No, you don’t.” Tears spilled from my eyelids. “And I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” I didn’t think he could be soothed, but his grief quieted for the slightest moment when I pressed my lips to his cheek. “You will never be without me again. Okay?”
“Really?”
“Yes,” I soothed. “I’m staying with you for as long as you need.”
“I must be dreaming.”
“Why? Do I feel like a dream?”
“Yes, one I never want to wake up from.”
The tips of my fingers caressed his cheeks. “You feel like a dream to me too.”
He sighed, his hold on my waist tightening. “Thank you for coming.”
“Jacks, I want you to listen to me,” I began. “There is no one on the face of this earth who is more important to me than you.”
“You’re staying with me tonight, right?”
“I’m staying until you kick me out of your apartment.”
He chuckled, his voice catching. “That will never happen, chipmunk.”
My left hand massaged the back of his neck, and I could tell the longer I held him, the more he began to relax.
“How long has it been since you’ve eaten?”
“I had some eggs before work this morning.”
“Okay. I’ll have Ter and Ryan leave, and then I’ll make you something to eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Eat something for me.”
His fingers raked through my hair, wrapping around the soft waves. “Only for you.”
Ter and Ryan picked that moment to peek their heads inside Jacks’s bedroom.
“Are y’all okay?” she asked softly.
“Yeah,” I answered. “I’m going to make him something to eat, and then we’re going to lie down. Y’all can head back to the apartment. I got it from here.”
“Call us if you need anything,” Ryan added.
“I will.”
“Wren.”
I looked to the doorway to see Kenneth had pushed his way between Ter and Ryan.
“You can leave, Kenneth. I’ll be fine.”
His gaze locked on Jacks and me, clearly noting our embrace. “I’m not leaving you here.”
I glared at him, wishing he would leave. The longer he stayed, the more likely he was to upset Jacks. “Yes, you are.”
“Wren.”
I stood, helping Jacks to his feet. When we were both upright, I guided him to the edge of the bed. “Wait here, Jacks. I’ll be right back.” I spun around and started to step toward the door when a hand caught my wrist.
“Don’t go,” Jacks pleaded. His dark eyes stared up at me, reflecting nothing but misery.
“It’s okay, baby. I’ll be right back.” I kissed his forehead tenderly, allowing my lips to linger against his skin.
“I promise.”
With a final glance, I exited his room, silently shutting the door behind me. “Kenneth, it’s time for you to leave. Jacks needs me right now and I won’t leave him.”
“He’s not a child.”
“No, but his only remaining family member just died. I’m the one person he’ll listen to right now. I’m the only person he wants close.”
“But—”
“If you want me to choose between the two of you, I will,” I spat. “I choose him. And it’s time for you to go. Terayn and Ryan will see you out.”
I headed back to Jacks’s bedroom, locking the door behind me before we could be interrupted again.
“You’re back?” he asked.
“Yep.” I held my hands out to him. “Let’s get you in the shower, and then I’ll take care of your hands.”
“Okay.”
I put Jacks in the shower and picked out some clothes for him to change into once he was done. The cuts covering his knuckles were only surface wounds, so I disinfected them and dabbed a little antibiotic ointment on top for good measure. After that, I led him to the kitchen.
“Sit down at the table and I’ll make you something.”
Ter and Ryan had managed to fix the overturned sofa and all of its pillows as well as clean off the kitchen island. I made Jacks two turkey sandwiches and poured him a large glass of water. I placed the food in front of him, watching until he took a bite.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I replied softly. “While you eat, I’m going to vacuum and clean up the broken glass.”
“You don’t have to do that. I can do it later.”
“The only things I’ve ever been good at are taking care of people and stripping. So, just let me do what I do best.”
He nodded and continued eating the food I had prepared. Slowly, he cleared the entire plate, and by the time he finished his meal, most of the glass was gone.
“Fuck,” he muttered, moving to stand next to me. “I destroyed this place.”
“Don’t worry about it. By tomorrow, I’ll have everything straightened out.”
“I don’t even know what I was thinking. I got back here, and it was like I was in a blind rage until you touched my face.”
I took his hand in mine. “Whenever you’re ready to talk about it, I’m here.”
“Thanks.”
“Ter and Ryan are watching Ford. I don’t know if they told you that or not.”
“I feel so terrible. I know my outburst scared him . . . but I couldn’t help it.”
“He’s okay and you’re okay. Those are the only things that matter.”
“I’m fucking exhausted.”
“Then let’s lie down and get some sleep.”
I led him back to his room and helped him into bed. After I changed into some of his clothes, I turned out the light and positioned myself next to him.
As soon as my skin touched the sheets, I pulled Jacks closer to me.
His fingertips delicately traced the line of my jaw as we lay there facing one another.
“Can I tell you something?” he asked.
“Of course. You can tell me anything.”
“In all my life, I’ve never seen a face lovelier than yours.” I averted my gaze, unable to stare into his deep brown eyes any longer. “That day in Audege, you completely took me by surprise. And then, when you smiled at me, I nearly fell at your feet.” His fingers drifted to my neck, running along the curve of my shoulder. “You are without a doubt the most captivating woman I’ve ever met, and just once, I wish you could see yourself the same way I do.”
I sucked on my bottom lip, unsure of what to say. My heart screamed for me to kiss him, but my head begged for sanity to prevail.
I placed my hands on both sides of his face and lightly pressed my lips to his forehead. “Thank you for that.”
After I guided his head onto my chest, his arms instantly folded around me, and it wasn’t long until he was sound asleep.
When Jacks woke up the following morning, he seemed genuinely surprised I was still there.
“Hey,” I said, combing a strand of hair away from his face.
“For some reason, I kept thinking it’d all be a dream and you’d be gone when I woke up.”
“What will it take for you to realize I’m not going anywhere?”
“I’ve no idea.”
“Let’s just take it one day at a time.”
“Okay.”
“Do you want me to make you some breakfast?”
He shook his head slightly, sitting up. “No, not just yet.”
“Alright.” I moved to sit behind him, placing my hands on his shoulder. “How about I rub your back until you’re ready to eat.”
“You never said anything about eating,” he said, his voice nothing short of wicked.
My cheeks began to burn at his implication. “Oh! You know what I meant.”
“It’s like I can almost hear you blushing.”
I pinched his flesh lightly. “Shut up.”
“Ouch!”
“You brought that on yourself.”
I began kneading the muscles at the top of his back before rounding to his deltoids. Leaning away from me, he tugged at the hem of his T-shirt, slowly removing it. When my skin met with his, he inhaled sharply. The tension slowly melted off his back as I rubbed each muscle.
“That feels good.”
“I guess I’ll keep doing it then.”
“Please.”
“Just think,” I whispered. “In a matter of weeks, we could be in Hawaii.”
“Can we go right now instead?”
“It’ll be here before we know it. And then after Hawaii, who knows.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“The next trip we plan. I’m taking you wherever you want to go, and I’m paying for everything.”
He laughed, but just barely. “You’re impossible.”
“I always thought that was what you liked about me.”
“See, chipmunk, that’s where you’re wrong. I like everything about you.” He pulled my arms forward, forcing me to hold him.
“Ditto.” I kissed his back and turned my head to lay my cheek against him. My eyes flitted to the table beside his bed. I hadn’t noticed it yesterday, but the picture I’d given him was there. “You set up our picture.”
“Of course I did. That is the best present I’ve gotten in a long time.”
“I’m glad you like it so much, because the thought of buying you a present is pretty daunting.”
“How so?”
“Because you can get yourself whatever you want.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is,” I countered. “You barely knew me and bought me a car. You aren’t exactly hard up for cash.”
“Technically, I rebuilt the car.”
“Well, you bought the parts to rebuild it.”
“True, and I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.”
“You’re stubborn as hell.”
“I could say the same thing about you.”
“Whatever.”
“I had a great time rebuilding Harlow. Between doing that and spending time with you, it was the most fun I’d had in years.”
“What do you mean?”
“Before we met, it kind of felt like I was just there, going through the motions. I had absolutely no desire to connect to another person, and then I ran into you. You opened your mouth and I was a fucking goner. In an instant, I knew you were exactly what I needed.”
I nodded as I pondered his confession. When Ter first wanted to set Jacks and I up, I believed we couldn’t possibly have anything in common. And now, the thought was almost laughable. Jacks had been taken with me after a single glance, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t feel the same way about him. Those dark eyes seemed to stare straight into my soul, and I relished every second of it.
chapter twenty
all we had
WE BURI
ED DAVID THAT Friday. He was laid to rest next to his wife, Lorraine, and Jacks’s parents. His absence left a gaping hole in both of our lives. Working in the ICU meant I was no stranger to death. I recognized it was a natural part of life, but David had been ripped away so suddenly. And the thought of trying to cope seemed like such a foreign notion.
Jacks’s hand grasped mine as we stood in front of the tombstone marking David’s grave. A litany of roses surrounded us at every turn, symbolizing the significance of the man we’d lost. During the funeral, Jacks gave a beautiful eulogy. His words touched my soul. The depth of his loss was unfathomable. Yet, the way he perfectly depicted David would’ve made his grandfather proud.
“We can stay as long as you’d like,” I whispered.
“I appreciate you staying with me through all of this.”
“Think nothing of it.” I squeezed his hand, holding on to him for dear life.
Slowly, the mourners dissipated from the cemetery. A few hours passed until the only people left were Jacks, Ter, Ryan, and I.
The sun had started its descent, a chill creeping into the air with the emergence of nightfall.
“We’re going to head home and check on Ford,” Ter stated, giving me a quick hug.
“Okay,” I answered. “I’ll talk to you later.”
She turned to hug Jacks and didn’t let go for a long moment. “I’m so sorry, Jackson,” she began. “I know how it feels to lose someone so close to you, and I want to say you aren’t alone. We may not be your blood, but Ryan and I think of you as family. There is nothing we wouldn’t do for you.”
Jacks nodded, clearly overcome with emotion. “Thank you. That means more to me than you know.” His voice cracked on the last word.
She kissed his cheek briefly. “We love you.”
“I love you guys too.”
“What she said.” Ryan pulled Jacks into a quick embrace. “You call us if you need anything. Doesn’t matter what time it is. Day or night, we’re there. Family is always there for each other.”
“Thanks.”
“Be safe driving home, Ryan,” I said, giving him a hug.
“We will. Love you.”
“Love you too,” I replied, waving as I watched my friends leave.
We stayed in the cemetery until darkness enveloped everything in sight. My head found its way to Jacks’s shoulder as we stood there.
