by Helene Young
She disconnected as the man pushed into her face, screaming at her unintelligibly, spittle landing on her cheek. He smacked the phone from her hand and stamped on it, still gesticulating like an enraged octopus.
‘Well, shit, that’s handy,’ she muttered, her heart hammering as she stood her ground. She raised her hands in an effort to placate him and tried to control her breathing. She only hoped Ray’s phone was safely tucked away.
The officer glared at her and she tried a tentative smile, unable to swallow. ‘Okay, sir, so you don’t want me to phone the company. I understand.’
‘You have no right to leave.’ The switch had flicked the other way and he was calm again.
‘Well, now, we do have papers,’ she offered. ‘We gave you those and they were in order and signed.’
He flung his arms wide. ‘Who signed them? I would be very foolish to accept them. You can fill forms again and I will sign them.’
‘Good suggestion, excellent suggestion,’ she said, knowing they’d reached the point where the little suitcase with greenbacks, tucked up under her seat, would come in handy. ‘It’s very hot here. We could talk in the flight deck, the cockpit,’ she amended as his eyes narrowed briefly. ‘Come, this way.’
She half bowed, pointing towards the aircraft. The rear ramp of the Herc was still open, crewmen standing ready to secure it for departure. As they walked through the hold the old women cowered, most looking away. A bemused Ray brought up the rear. A baptism of fire for her first officer, she thought.
It took half an hour and 10 000 US dollars, but they were finally permitted to depart, minus her phone. As they climbed away, Georgina’s neck prickled until they were on track and into Turkey controlled airspace. A phone was a small price to pay for leaving.
‘Your aircraft, Ray. I just want to check on our passengers.’
‘Sure, ma’am. I’ll call if I need you.’
As she made her way down the length of the aircraft through the seated women, the smell of vomit and unwashed bodies mixed with the ingrained odour of a cargo plane was cloying. It was no easy ride in the canvas seats and these people had already suffered enough. But she saw gratitude in their eyes and many of the women held out their hands in thanks. Skin like tissue paper barely covered their fragile bones.
‘Salem, salem,’ she repeated with a reassuring smile. Too little too late. These were women who’d raised children and grandchildren, whose wisdom and knowledge had been handed down to successive generations. How many of them would survive in a camp? How many would die before their time, purely because of a war that was not of their making? Senseless bloody conflict.
She reached the toilet. With the door locked behind her she sat on the closed seat and buried her face in her hands. She was halfway around the world trying to save other people’s mothers while her own faded away. Surely she could find the compassion to go home and visit Ivy. If Felicity was right, and she rarely pushed the panic button, then someone needed to pull bloody Ken into line. Felicity didn’t have a fighting bone in her body, which meant it was up to Georgina, the only one capable of staring down a rampaging Ken. She’d done it before.
The last time Ken had bested her she’d been seventeen years old. They’d been arguing about something trivial as he drove her home from a flying lesson at Mareeba. In a rage he’d stopped the car and shoved her out, leaving her with a dusty ten-kilometre walk home with her heavy flight bag. Mitch Trethowan and his father happened along in the farm ute and drove her the last long stretch, but she didn’t explain to them what had happened. Mitch could only have been about seven or eight at the time. Both her parents were away with Felicity in Cairns doing Christmas shopping and when they returned two days later she’d decided that Ivy would only have found an excuse for Ken.
Suck it up, Princess, and plot your revenge, she’d decided. It hadn’t taken long before she spotted Ken two-timing his girlfriend. A word in the right ear had saved both the young women from what Georgina considered to be a fate worse than death.
So why did she hesitate now? Act first, ask later could have been written for her. She looked at herself in the polished steel mirror. It wasn’t Ken worrying her. It was Ivy. What if she rejected her still? Surely, at this point in her life she should she accept once and for all that a mother’s love was not necessary. Hadn’t Ivy raised her to the best of her abilities? She’d made her tough enough to break into an industry that at the time had few women in it. And yet her mother was the one person who could still make her feel insecure. She should be strong enough by now to let it wash over her.
Clearly not, Georgina, she chided, or you’d have gone home more often.
She had two more days of flying, then a ticket to anywhere. She pulled a face at her reflection and smoothed a hand over her hair. ‘Better make it Brisbane and talk to Felicity first. It’s time to go home.’
The decision left her feeling lightheaded. It had clearly been weighing more heavily than she thought. And what about Dan? Her breath hitched. Grey eyes, a fall of brown hair and a smile that could light up her world. What had she thrown away all those years ago? What a gullible idiot she’d been.
The wave of embarrassment flushed her cheeks and she pressed her palms to them. Her eyelids flickered closed for a moment. Never look back, Georgie, she admonished. Regrets are for fools and you are a fool no more. No one knew the truth about her and Dan, and with Felicity dealing with her own marriage breakdown now was not the time to share her fall from grace with her sister.
But she should touch base with her ex. It was always easy with Dan, uncomplicated. He remained her best friend despite their history. Maybe he’d have some advice on what to do about Ken and Ivy. Ivy still sent him Christmas cards, apparently. And Ken never stepped out of line when the deceptively mild-mannered Captain Dan was around.
Plus Felicity could probably do with the moral support. Todd was an arse. Bloody horrible way to find out the truth of the man, but Lissie was resilient, even if she hated arguments. Always the optimistic Pollyanna. If Lissie thought Ken was helping himself to money, then the idiot was probably embezzling on a grand scale. Why the hell did Ivy still indulge him?
As Georgina headed back to the flight deck she looked around at the old women cradling young ones in their arms. The answer to Ivy’s behaviour was staring her in the face. A mother will do anything, risk everything, to protect the child they love.
‘Top of descent in ten minutes, ma’am,’ Ray said, as she strapped herself in again.
‘Thanks, Ray.’
Twenty minutes and they’d be parked on the bay. She’d speak to operations as soon as she landed. The journey to Brisbane would take the best part of two days. She could stay a night or two with Felicity before heading north. No point in going to Roseglen with jetlag. Her temper was short enough on a good day.
‘So what are you planning to do?’ Ray asked, breaking into her thoughts.
She smiled at him. ‘Same as you. I’m going home, Ray.’
‘That’ll be nice. Has it been long since your last visit?’
She laughed, knowing she’d shock him. ‘Three years.’
‘No way!’
‘Not everyone has a family they love to visit.’
‘I see.’ He clearly didn’t, but his good manners prevented him from saying anything more.
And she wasn’t going to try explaining. On the surface she’d had a privileged upbringing. Opportunities abounded and her father loved her unconditionally. But Ivy, having grown up with the strict Protestant principle ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’, knew no other way to raise her family. She had no idea how to show her children affection, but that didn’t fully justify the dynamics of Georgina’s relationship with her. There was more to it than that, but she was over trying to analyse it right now.
She’d go back to Roseglen and see what tomorrow would bring. How hard could it be to whip Ken back into line? She’d been doing it for years.
Ivy was delighted with how the evening wa
s going. Her little Ella had most definitely inherited her cooking gene. There wasn’t a scrap of beef remaining. Then Ivy had prevailed at Scrabble, and now they were all sitting around sipping hot chocolate, apart from Ella.
On a night like this, surrounded by people she loved, in a house that had felt like home from the moment she’d stepped through that wide front door with its stained-glass panels, it was easy for Ivy to believe she could still do with more time in this world.
Mitch was on the couch next to Felicity, arm stretched along the back, looking like a man in his prime. Felicity had drunk enough to have a pretty flush in her cheeks and Ella had drunk far too much, but there was laughter in the house again. It felt like the walls were absorbing all that happiness.
‘So, Granny D, what shall we do tomorrow?’ Ella asked, draining her glass and reaching for the bottle.
‘Why do I need to decide now, dear? Plenty of time tomorrow.’ She sent a stern look at the bottle but Ella ignored it.
‘I need to know whether I can have another glass of wine or whether I can sleep in.’
Ivy bit back a waspish retort. ‘I’ll be up at six, but you can do whatever you’d like.’
‘I think a spring clean is in order,’ Felicity said, placing her mug on the coaster.
‘It’s autumn, Mum.’
‘Whatever.’ Lissie waved her daughter’s comment away. ‘It’s time to open the doors, clean the curtains and wash the floors.’
Cleaning had always been Lissie’s preferred household chore, but Ivy was irrationally miffed. ‘It only needs to have the vacuum run over it, Lissie. I’m not a charity case.’
Hurt flickered across her daughter’s face, but Lissie kept smiling. ‘You silly possum. I’m not having a go at you, I just feel the need to clean.’
Mitch frowned at Ivy and she frowned back, only partly mollified. Did everyone think she was incapable of looking after herself?
‘How about we go for a drive to the caves?’
Trust Ella to shift the mood.
‘When was the last time you visited them, Granny?’
‘Great idea,’ Felicity said. ‘We can check out whatever it is that Mitch is doing.’
He cocked his head. ‘What am I doing?’
‘Everyone’s talking about some development you’ve been working on,’ Lissie said.
‘They are?’ He looked surprised.
‘Yeah, according to Joan West.’
He laughed then and she could see so much of his father in him. ‘Is that so?’ he said. ‘You’d better come and check it out, then, seeing as I’m trying to convince your mum to go halves with me.’
‘Partners?’ Felicity darted a quick glance her and Ivy arched an eyebrow.
‘There are worse people we could be in bed with, dear,’ she said, watching the inevitable blush creep up her daughter’s neck. Mitch gave a tiny shake of his head, but he was watching Lissie.
‘So what’s the go?’ Lissie asked.
‘Just feasibility studies at the moment,’ he replied. ‘I’ve talked to Patrick and he’s discussed it with the other elders from his mob. The land claim around Yarrandunna Station has never included the caves. But they’re happy to be part of it, share their stories, create jobs for the young people. If Mrs D wants in as well, I think there’s potential for Roseglen to do quite well out of it.’
‘So it’s a tourism development.’
‘Yeah. Those caves are pretty special. I’m sure you remember how fascinating they can be.’ He was definitely watching Felicity and she was glowing like a stoplight. Damn shame it wasn’t her he got pregnant all those years ago, Ivy thought.
Felicity looked across at the portrait of Charlie hanging on the wall. ‘I remember them being spooky but fun. Except when Dad found out we’d been there.’
‘Ah, yes,’ said Ivy.
‘What happened?’ Ella asked.
‘He was ready to ban Mitch from setting foot on Roseglen again and Lissie was grounded for a month.’ Charlie had also demanded an apology from Bill Trethowan, who simply laughed it off.
‘And then he went to the cattle sales,’ Lissie said. ‘So in effect I was grounded for about two weeks.’
Ella looked to Ivy. ‘You didn’t agree?’
‘I thought Charlie was unreasonable when it came to the caves. I knew the two of them were mucking around down there. I trusted them to be sensible. Mitch was never going to lead your mother into danger, were you?’
‘I was more scared of you than Charlie. He’d never hit a thing in his life, not even the dogs.’
‘I never laid a finger on you, either.’
‘Maybe not a finger, but you were pretty handy with a wooden spoon.’
‘I never was!’ He and Lissie were laughing. Ivy searched her memory. Had she forgotten?
They laughed harder. ‘You had to catch us first, but you were pretty nippy back then,’ he said. ‘Round and round that kitchen table.’
There was a sudden flash of memory, but it was Georgina bearing the brunt of her rage. ‘I may have had to discipline Georgina, but I don’t remember having to use it on you two.’
‘Trust me, you did,’ Lissie said, wiping the tears from her cheeks. ‘Mind you, it was more of tickle. I do remember Georgie having bruises from it. I would have been about six and she was home from boarding school for holidays.’
‘Bruises? Really?’ Would she really have smacked her daughter that hard?
‘Dad was pretty annoyed with you that time.’
‘She must have done something awful.’
‘Actually, I think she and Ken had a fight and she pushed him in the dam.’
‘So she deserved it, then,’ Ivy said.
‘He’d been teasing her as usual. Bossing us both around. He always knew which buttons to push.’
Ivy waved it away. ‘You two were always whining about Ken.’
‘With good reason, Mum,’ Felicity said, sliding to the edge of the seat.
The mood was shifting again, but Ivy was powerless to stop it. Why did she defend Ken when she knew there was more than an element of truth to what her girls claimed? He’d always had a sense of entitlement disproportionate to his due.
Mitch saved her. ‘I can take you on a tour tomorrow if you like. I’ll come around and collect you all. The road’s a bit rough going in. Shall we say pick up at ten? I’ll take a thermos and we can have a cuppa there.’ He got to his feet as he was talking, touching Felicity’s hand, like a question almost, and she smiled up at him. It settled Ivy’s temper.
‘That sounds lovely, Mitch. Ella, do you think you can wake up by then, dear?’ she asked, making sure to have an indulgent smile in place.
Ella laughed. ‘I’m sure I can manage that.’
They were all on their feet now. Ella clearing up, shaking the empty bottle. Felicity standing just a tad too close to Mitch. They made a good-looking couple.
Ivy went to stand, but her knees wouldn’t cooperate. Grasping the arms of her chair she tried to heave herself up, hoping no one was paying any attention. Her knuckles turned white and her arm quivered. Last time this happened she was forced to sit for another hour, turning her ankles and moving her legs until she managed to stand. That wasn’t going to work this time.
‘Here, Mum.’ Felicity manoeuvred the walker close enough that Ivy could grab the handles. ‘Ready?’ she murmured.
Ivy nodded and with a gentle lift from her daughter she was on her feet. Felicity patted her shoulder. The grief was an unexpected needlepoint. No matter how much she pretended she was capable of living alone, Ivy knew the truth.
And God still wasn’t listening to her. She hated being a burden, hated her failing body and she feared the strife to come in her family. If she’d been stronger all those years ago none of this would be happening.
‘Bye, Mrs D. You fought the good fight. A deserving winner.’ Mitch dropped a kiss on her cheek.
‘Thank you, dear.’ She summoned a smile, her eyes roaming over his square jaw and soft that
ch of hair. The joy, the lightness that had always been there hadn’t dimmed with the years. Grief hadn’t made him bitter.
He smiled again and squeezed her hand before he turned away.
Ivy started the walk to her bedroom. Lissie laughed at something Mitch said, a husky edge to it. Tears welled and she couldn’t even risk raising a hand to brush them away for fear that she’d fall. Melancholy made her breathless. Why was she not stronger? Why had she given in to Ken? Fear of the truth was no excuse.
She reached her bedroom and sat on the walker, unable to stop the tears. All the happiness from the evening had been extinguished. Sinbad sidled up, rubbing his head against her calf, his purr rumbling deep. She stroked his short fur, but the comfort wasn’t enough.
‘Mum?’ Lissie was at the door.
Ivy looked up and her daughter was by her side in an instant. ‘Hey, we were only teasing about you chasing us with the wooden spoon.’
Ivy hiccupped as she tried to stem the flow of tears and Lissie wrapped her arms around her, resting cheek to cheek. Lissie always let her breathe, gather herself. It’s how Ivy imagined she dealt with patients at the hospital.
‘It’s not you two,’ Ivy managed to say.
‘Your knees?’
She nodded, not ready to tell her about Ken, not yet. Maybe Mitch had offered a way out of this mess. Or maybe he’d just offered a golden shackle of a different kind.
‘Mum . . .’ Felicity hesitated and Ivy was suddenly fearful. She would not be forced into some dreadful home. ‘I was going to wait until tomorrow to bring it up, but I’m wondering if it would suit you if I looked into getting work up here. Maybe even moved in with you.’ As she rushed on, Ivy’s heart soared. ‘I’m not going to try and reorganise you or the house or anything, but at least I’d be here. No reason for me to be in Brisbane now.’
Ivy couldn’t miss the sadness in her face, but there was optimism as well. Her tears vanished.
‘You’d do that? You could get work up here?’ Ivy wasn’t so confident. There weren’t many nursing positions out the back of beyond.
Felicity shrugged. ‘There’ll be something. Hopefully nursing, but I wasn’t going to start looking until I’d talked to you.’
