“Emmy,” he said.
I couldn’t quite read the look on his face—but it might’ve been close to pity. “I know it sounds crazy and impulsive. I know. But you know what? Ever since Isa disappeared, I’ve realized what a boring, safe little life I’ve lived. I was always the good sister, always the one whom people could depend upon. The one who wasn’t going to do anything crazy or impulsive. Well, guess what? Now that I’ve actually done a few things that have been outside of my safety zone, I actually like it. A lot. And if I’m ever going to find my sister, I think it’s going to take something a little bit unexpected.”
“Like just up and going to British Columbia.”
“Exactly.”
“It’s not that I’m entirely against the idea,” he said slowly. “It’s just that I also don’t want to see you get your hopes up just to go on this wild goose chase that ends up in disappointment.”
“I don’t want that either. But I’ve got to at least try this. And maybe you’re right, maybe nothing will come of it, but... I have a feeling.”
And I did have a strange feeling in my stomach that I couldn’t ignore, something that was telling me that, despite the impulsiveness of going up to British Columbia like this, I was going to find something out there that I wouldn’t be able to here. Maybe I wouldn’t actually find Isa, but I would be able to find something out that might help me track her down. There was a part of me that new it could just be wishful thinking, but a stronger, more insistent voice was saying that it wasn’t.
“Okay,” Jason said. “If this is something that you want to do, then I’m in.”
“Great,” I said. “We leave the day after tomorrow. I booked us a cute little place I found on Airbnb, and I’ve got a car rental reservation and all that.”
“Geez. How much is this costing? Let me give you some money.”
“You don’t have to,” I said. “It wasn’t that much, since we’re not going to be there for long. I mean, I can’t travel around the world just looking for my sister for the rest of my life. This is just sort of a hunch I have, and if it doesn’t pan out, well... I’m not going to be booking tickets to go somewhere else anytime soon, I promise.”
I smiled. “I don’t mind getting away, so long as it’s with you. I would like to give you some money for it, though.”
“I don’t want you to. This is something that I did—and, yeah, it’s not cheap, but I have some savings. My friend Carolyn and I have gone on a few vacations, but nothing recently, and I’ve never done something like this. There’s always been a ton of planning and booking places months in advance and getting everything all set up way ahead of time.”
But not this time. This time, I was just going to do it. And I actually liked the feeling.
***
The next morning, I went back up to my place while Jason went into work. I tossed some stuff in a suitcase. I found my passport. Before driving back down to the city, I stopped at my parents’ house. My mother was in the kitchen, emulsifying homemade Caesar salad dressing.
“Oh, Emmy,” she said, turning the emulsifier off. “I didn’t realize you were going to be stopping by today. Are you hungry? Can I get you something? Is Jason with you?”
“No, he’s working right now.”
“I’d still like to set up a time for the two of you to come over for dinner. Even if your father can’t be here for that, though I’m sure he’d be thrilled to meet Jason. I told him all about him.”
“You did?”
“I did.”
“Well, I’ll talk to Jason and we’ll figure out a time. But it won’t be for at least a week. We’re going on a little trip.”
“Where are you going?”
“British Columbia.”
I had thought about whether or not I should tell my mother why we were going and had decided that it would be better if I didn’t, for now. I probably wouldn’t even bother mentioning it if nothing came out of it, and I didn’t want her to get her hopes up, probably much in the same manner that Jason didn’t want to see me get my hopes up.
“That’ll be nice. Is it just the two of you?”
“Yeah. We just... we wanted to get away for a little bit. We won’t be gone for that long.”
“I’m sure it’s been very stressful for the two of you. Which is unfortunate, because the early stages of a relationship are so much fun.” My mother smiled, a faraway look on her face. “I can still remember the early days when your dad and I first met. What a time that was! You’ll probably find it hard to believe, but we went all over the place. Traveled a lot. It was really exhilarating.”
I smiled. “It sounds like it. Don’t you miss that?”
“I’m too old for that sort of thing. That was a lifetime ago! It almost feels like someone else’s life, actually. But I still have the memories. Your father and I did have some good times.”
I felt an ache in my throat, which I tried to swallow away. My plan in coming here had just been to tell her about the upcoming trip, but now that she’d veered onto the topic of my father and how much fun they used to have together, I knew that I needed to just tell her about what my dad was up to. She deserved to know the truth, and I felt guilty that I’d been keeping it from her for this long.
“Mom,” I said, taking a deep breath, “since you’re bringing up all this stuff about Dad right now, there’s something... there’s... well, I have something to tell you, and I... I’m not really sure how to say it. I thought about not telling you, actually, but I don’t think I can do that.”
“Sweetie, what’s the matter?” she asked, frowning in concern. “Is everything all right?”
“Dad’s having an affair.” I blurted it out, because I knew if I didn’t just come out and say it, I wouldn’t be able to.
“Oh,” she said. The frown deepened.
“With some blond woman I’ve never seen before. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this.”
My mother sighed, the frown vanishing. “I appreciate you being honest with me,” she said. “But... I know your father is seeing someone.”
My jaw dropped. “You do? Like... romantically?”
“Of course he’s seeing someone romantically... He’s not the sort of man who would just befriend a woman for the sake of friendship.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
Mom shrugged. “I gave him my blessing, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Now it was my turn to frown, because I really could not understand what it was she was trying to say. They had talked about this first? She gave him her “blessing”?
“I know it probably seems like a pretty big shock,” Mom said. “I can’t imagine that any child wants to have to see or hear about their parents’ relationship in that way. I considered telling you, but then when I thought about how that conversation might actually go, I just couldn’t. It would’ve been too awkward. So, I hoped you wouldn’t find out, because it’s not really something I’m sure you want to know.”
“You’re right—it’s not. But really because it’s not fair to you.”
“And your father would probably say that it’s not fair to him, having a wife who doesn’t want to go out and do all the things that I used to enjoy doing. You know how Dad is. He loves to go out to restaurants, always enjoys a night on the town. Just because I’m not interested in doing that sort of stuff anymore doesn’t mean that he should have to stop. I didn’t plan on being this way—this certainly wasn’t how I thought my life would end up—but I am okay with how things are, in that regard, anyway.
Chapter 23
Jason
I had decided to keep my thoughts to myself about whether this trip to British Columbia was going to yield any results. I knew it wouldn’t; I knew that Emmy was just overcome with the desire to do something more than just talk to people Isa had known in the San Francisco Bay Area, and that she wanted us to go do this because she had a hunch. Because two people had mentioned British Columbia to her and the idea had stuck in her mind.
Nothing was going to come of it, but I certainly didn’t want to be the one to have to break the news to her—and, besides, going away for a little while would be fun. I hadn’t used a day of vacation time in the past two years, so I had more than enough accrued, and we didn’t have any major events this week, so if there ever was a time for me to do something like this, now was it.
***
I could tell Emmy was a little tense and I wondered if it was because she was having second thoughts about this whole thing. I decided not to ask her about it, though, and instead to just be supportive, and hopefully we’d have a good time. She seemed jittery, though, the whole plane ride, and once we got to Canada, it was like she was on high alert, as if Isa might be hiding around every corner.
After we got the rental car, she looked up the address of the place we were staying at and showed me on the map. We took a scenic drive through winding roads, against a picturesque backdrop of mountains, thick forests, and rushing rivers. The sky seemed bigger out here, a deep, endless blue, dotted here and there with those puffy, fair-weather clouds.
The place we were staying at was a Craftsman-style cottage set within several acres in the woods. There was a long, unpaved driveway that curved like a river away from the main road, trees all around us. Then there was a clearing and the house, with its front porch and rocking chairs and garden full of colorful flowers.
“This place is great,” Emmy said, her mood seeming to improve a bit.
She found the key to the place around back, underneath the base of the ceramic bird bath. Inside, everything was clean and orderly, with well-appointed furniture and decorations, more personal than a hotel, and certainly more spacious. There were two bedrooms, the master bedroom with a bathroom attached, and then a smaller bedroom with bunk beds.
“Well, we made it,” I said, going over to stand behind her as she looked out the sliding glass door toward the backyard. I put my hands on her shoulders and squeezed lightly, feeling how tense she was. I leaned down and kissed the back of her neck, and she turned into me and gave me a kiss. I would’ve been more than happy to bring her into the bedroom and try to help her relax, but then she was pulling away, saying she wanted to get in the car and drive around.
We were both a little hungry, so we headed toward the downtown area. We passed a campground, a trailer park, crossed a bridge over a river. Parking wasn’t a problem, so when we saw the sign for a diner, I pulled over and we got out. It seemed as if we were surrounded by mountains. The buildings were low, quaint, with a funky sort of vibe; no sleek skyscrapers, no crowded one-way streets. The people we passed by smiled and said hello; everyone seemed friendly. When we went into the diner, Emmy asked if we could sit in the empty booth by the window.
“So,” I said after we’d given our order to the waitress, “I am a little curious as to what your plan is.”
She picked up a little single-serving cup of half-and-half from a tan ceramic bowl and peeled the paper cover off. Every time someone walked past, her gaze followed them. “I don’t really have a plan,” she said. “I thought that when I got here, I’d just know what to do. That the next step would seem obvious.” She frowned. “I can’t say that’s really happening, though.”
“Getting something to eat is a good start. And we can go from there.”
“You think this whole thing is foolish, don’t you?” she said. “It’s okay. I would probably be thinking the same thing if I were you.” Her shoulders slumped as she stirred the cream into her coffee. “This is why I don’t do impulsive things. Because at the time it seems totally plausible, but now that I’m actually here, I realize it was pretty stupid to think that I could find Isa. Maybe she is in British Columbia, but this is a pretty big place. What are the chances that I’m just going to randomly run into her?”
“It could happen,” I said—though of course I knew the chances of that were low. “Life is kind of all about chance, isn’t it? Just think about it—if you hadn’t come down to the city to Heathens right when you did, if I hadn’t decided to go back there when I did, then we probably would never have met. If I hadn’t happened to show up at Oddlands right when I did, you’d probably be dead. For whatever reason, things do seem to be aligning for you, and maybe that trend will keep up.”
She brightened a little. “And besides,” I continued, “whether anything comes of this or not, we’re in a new place together, and I think we’ll have a good time. We’re not here for that long, so I’d at least like to check out some of the sights.”
“You’re right,” she said. “And thanks for being so cool about it.”
***
After we were done at the diner, we went out and walked around. We poked into different shops, then checked out the community center, before finding ourselves on the banks of one of the rivers. Emmy did stop and ask some people if they’d seen Isa, showing them a picture on her phone. Everyone she asked, though, seemed confused at first, looking from the picture she was showing them back to her again.
“We’re twins,” she explained each time.
And then a look of understanding would cross their faces, but no one had seen Isa. By the time we headed back to the house, I could tell that Emmy was completely discouraged again, though she was trying her best to pretend she wasn’t.
I wanted to take her mind off things for a little while, make her feel good. While she was in the shower, I went into the master bedroom, fluffed the pillows, pulled the sheets back. She came out in a tank top and boxer shorts, her hair wrapped up in a towel.
“Come here,” I said. She came over, pulling the towel off her head, her damp hair releasing a fragrance of something botanical, perhaps lavender. I inhaled as I wrapped my arms around her, her skin smooth and soft and still warm from the shower.
“Listen,” I said. “No matter what happens while we’re here, I want you to know how amazing I think you are for doing what you’ve done to try to find your sister. Anyone would be lucky to have someone like you in their life. So, even if nothing comes out of this at all, just know how incredible you are. And how special you are to me.” I leaned down and kissed her gently, bringing my hands up to the side of her face, then running my fingers through her still-wet hair. Her body relaxed against mine, molding itself to my contours, and, still kissing, we slowly made our way to the bed.
***
We got a bit of a late start the next morning, having stayed up for the better part of the night enjoying each other’s bodies, so first order of business was to go find some breakfast. We drove back to town, though we went past the diner in favor of a little café called Greensleeves. There was reggae playing when we stepped in, and all sorts of eclectic artwork hanging from the walls. Emmy had a big smile on her face and was emanating that sort of post-coital glow that women sometimes get after a night of good sex; I probably had a similar expression on my own face.
We studied the menu, written on a large chalkboard hung on the wall, before making our way over to the counter. The guy behind the counter had a big grin on his face, too.
“That smoothie no good, Callie?” he asked, looking right at Emmy. He frowned. “Hey, you changed your hair. How’d you do that so fast?”
“Callie?” Emmy said. “You think my name’s Callie?”
“Isn’t it?” The guy smiled, brushing his shaggy hair out of his face. “You never did tell me what it was short for.”
“Excuse me.”
Emmy bolted out the door before I could say anything. I followed her, and she stood there on the steps for a moment, looking out to the street, first one way, then the other. She turned and came back up the steps, but instead of going back in, she walked around the wraparound porch to the side, where the outdoor seating area was.
For a moment, we both stood there, surveying the faces of the people who were sitting at the round tables, plates of food and cups of coffee in front of them. And then Emmy stiffened.
“Oh, my God,” she said.
I followed her gaze.
In the far right corner, near a trellis overgrown with some flowering vine, a girl with shoulder-length, auburn hair, straight bangs cut across, sat at a table, sipping a smoothie. She had on big, Jackie-O-type sunglasses, but there was no doubt as to who it was. And she looked well. She did not look like she had been abused, did not look like anyone had ever held her against her will. My mind was having a hard time believing that this had actually happened, despite the fact that I was standing here looking at Isa with my own two eyes. Emmy had been right. She’d found her sister.
I glanced down at Emmy, who seemed frozen in place. She stood there staring, watching as her sister picked up the drink, took a sip from the straw, and put it back down before swiping at the screen of her phone. And then, perhaps because she felt like she was being watched, perhaps because she was just looking up to stretch her neck, she looked right at us.
“There she is,” Emmy said. “There’s my sister.”
Because coming up here and finding Isa had seemed like such a long shot, I hadn’t even bothered to entertain the idea of what would happen if we did happen to find her. But now that we had, I suddenly felt as though I wasn’t supposed to be there, at least not for this first meeting between the two of them. It felt too intrusive.
“Listen,” I said. “I think... I think it’d be better if I gave the two of you some time to talk. I’m going to go wander around, maybe take a little drive; you can give me a call when you’re done, okay?”
She nodded, not bothering to take her eyes off Isa. I looked over Isa’s way, and after a few seconds, she lifted her smoothie cup as if she were toasting us. I gave her the briefest of nods, and then kissed Emmy quickly before making my exit.
Chapter 24
Emmy
It seemed as if the ground had fallen out from underneath me, and I was floating there, suspended in midair, suddenly unbeholden by the laws of gravity. Jason had just left, yet I couldn’t seem to get my feet to move.
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