“It’s not that I don’t want to go back to the city,” he said, “but a part of me does feel like I’m giving up too easily.”
“You’re not. You tried. You took time off from work to drive all over the place. You got in touch with people you haven’t talked to in years. I did, too. I mean, I found out that my parents didn’t actually die in an accident like I thought. That certainly wasn’t the information I was expecting to find out, but... now that I’ve had some time to think about it, I’m glad that I know the truth.”
“So, you get it then,” he said. “That’s what this whole thing has been about: finding out the truth. And while I’m not glad that your parents died, I am glad that you were able to find out the truth about it. Does it change anything? Does it change the fact that they’re dead? No, it doesn’t. But it matters to know the truth about something, and I guess that’s what bothers me so much about this whole situation with Ashleigh. I had believed this narrative that she’d been taken against her will—and that could still be the case, though ever since you gave me her journal I’ve seriously begun to question it—and in believing that, I didn’t realize I was just telling myself a more palatable story. Of course it didn’t seem that way at the time. But the fact is, it’s really fucking bothered me to now be thinking that she chose to leave, yet she somehow also chose not to clue me in at all.”
He entwined his fingers in mine and I turned toward him, my body already humming. I wanted him so badly, I’d do it right here on this rock—I didn’t care what sorts of scrapes or bruises I’d get. We were about to start kissing when I heard a noise.
It was a car engine, loud and getting closer. We pulled apart and looked in the direction of the sound. The field was surrounded by trees, and for a few seconds, we didn’t see anything. But the sound was definitely getting closer.
“What the hell,” Drew said. He jumped down from the rock and then turned and took my hand and I jumped down too. Right as my feet hit the ground, a mud-spattered truck burst into view, coming right out of the woods. It was one of those big, jacked-up trucks that looked like it could probably scale a mountain. I froze when I saw that there was a guy hanging out the passenger-side window, holding what looked like a rifle.
“Shit.”
I glanced at Drew, who had just muttered that. There was no way we could run, seeing as we were out in the middle of the field like this, but I had a feeling Drew wouldn’t run anyway. He had his gaze fixed on the approaching truck, jaw clenched. The truck slowed and came to a stop and two guys jumped out. Neither looked very friendly or happy to see us at all.
“What the hell is this?” the guy who got out the passenger side said. He was wearing a ratty-looking T-shirt that said The Trashers across it, and he had a cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth. They were probably in their mid-thirties, a bit grizzled-looking. Both had goatees, tattoos. The guy who had been driving wore a camo-print baseball cap. He walked around to the bed of the truck and got his own rifle out. I had seen guns before at Joshua’s, but I had never liked them, and the fact that these two guys both had guns and were staring at us the way they were made me wish we hadn’t gone for this walk but had instead just kept driving.
“We’re just out for a hike,” Drew said. “I’m not sure what the problem is.”
“The problem is,” the guy with the baseball cap said, “that you’re on our property. You think that there’s fields like this on some government-owned piece of property?”
Drew shrugged. “I don’t know—maybe?”
I would’ve shot him a look if I didn’t feel paralyzed by fear. Having a flippant attitude right now was not the way to go, I was pretty sure.
“We’re really sorry,” I said, and my voice quivered slightly. “We didn’t realize this was private property. We parked at the trailhead a ways back and walked in; we must’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere. We’ll leave.”
“Oh, will you, now? See, the problem is that you’ve already been on our land, so we’re going to have to collect some sort of fee.”
“Give me a break,” Drew said. “We’ve been here for literally five minutes.”
“Longer than that.” Camo hat gestured vaguely over his shoulder. “We’ve got video surveillance. Hunting cams. All over the place. Works pretty good to catch trespassers, too. Got that shit connected to our phones. So we know that you’ve been out here longer than five minutes.”
Cameras? I tried not to shudder, thinking about how things might have been if they had only waited a few more minutes—Drew and I would be doing it on that rock, and they’d have been able to watch.
“I wanted to give you guys a little more time,” the guy in the Trashers shirt said. He smiled, revealing crooked yellow teeth. “I was telling Todd here that things were just about to get good, but he can’t stand people being on our land. More than anything. More than wanting to get to watch some real live porn.”
“Okay, we’re leaving,” Drew said, his hand going to the small of my back. “You have our sincerest apologies and guarantee that you will never see us on your property again.”
“That’s not the sort of fee we’re looking for—your apology.”
“Well, my wallet’s in the car, so there’s not much else I can do for you.”
“Oh, I think there’s plenty more you could do for us. Well, should I say we could do—to your lady right here.”
The words hung in the air. No. This was not happening. This was not how this was going to end.
“You will do no such thing,” I said.
The guys looked at each other and then started to laugh. “Usually the person without the gun is not the one calling the shots.” The guy with the hat lifted his gun and pointed it right at me. I couldn’t move; all I could do was stare at it.
Was my life supposed to flash before my eyes right now? How the hell had this happened anyway? We had just been on a nice walk! I had been feeling pretty good about things, even though the trip hadn’t gone exactly how we might have hoped. And now it had most certainly taken a turn for the worse, the absolute worst, because it looked like I was either about to be killed, or raped, or maybe both.
“There’s no reason to do anything other than let us walk back to our car,” Drew said in a low, calm voice that was completely at odds with the way I was feeling inside. But there was no fight-or-flight response; I couldn’t move. If one of the guys made a grab for me, I doubted that I’d be able to do anything, because it felt like I had lost all control over the ability to move my limbs. “We weren’t hurting anything or anyone; we took a wrong turn and, you’re right, we shouldn’t be here. So we’re going to go. Okay, fellas? There’s really no point in doing anything that is going to have ramifications for anyone later on.”
The two looked at each other for a moment and then started to laugh. “Using some pretty big words there,” the guy in the hat said. “Suppose that’s meant to impress us, or maybe scare us into thinking that we’ll somehow get in trouble if something unfortunate should happen to you. Here’s the thing, though—this is our family’s land. And there’s a whole hell of a lot of it. What do you think the odds are that anyone would find you if they were to come looking? You’re not in the city anymore, where everyone’s all up in everyone else’s business. You’re out here in the sticks where people mind their own business, and I can promise you that no one’s going to be able to find a couple of urban hipsters who took a wrong turn.” He raised the gun and pointed it right at Drew.
“Stop!” I shrieked, and my voice sounded shrill, seemed to echo back to me. “Why are you doing this? Why don’t you just let us leave? We didn’t mean to trespass; we’re not trying to do anything wrong. You don’t want to kill us. Please.”
“You listen to The Trashers?” Drew said suddenly, nodding to the other guy’s T-shirt.
“Yeah,” he said slowly.
“I know them.”
The guys looked at each other again and then shook their heads. “You do not.”
“S
ure, I do. I’ve played with them before. I even filled in for Lance for a couple of shows once. Probably five years ago at this point.”
“The fuck you did.”
“I did. It was two shows in San Francisco, then one up in Santa Rosa, Clearlake, and Ukiah.” Drew paused. “I’m the bass player with Field of Vision.”
“That’s a load of horseshit and you know it. You’re just saying that because you’re trying to get out of this.”
“I’m not.”
Something strange was happening as Drew talked: the guy with the baseball cap was slowly lowering his gun. He had a frown on his face, but it wasn’t of the menacing sort; it was more like he was trying to remember something.
“We saw The Trashers in Ukiah,” he said. “And they did have a different bass player.” The frown deepened. “You’re telling me that was you?”
“It was.”
“I don’t remember the face. But I do remember it wasn’t the regular guy. Sort of convenient for you to claim to be Field of Vision’s bass player, though, wouldn’t you say? Considering that no one knows who he is?”
My mind whirred, spinning all the way back to when Austin had found that website that showed Drew and the mystery bass player from that band.
“It is him,” I said. “There are some people out there who do know. Do either of you have a phone on you?”
“You’re not calling anyone.”
“I’m not going to. But if you have your phone and can get online, you can look it up. Look up his name. Drew Parker. And there’s a webpage where someone has a picture of him and a picture of the bassist.” From the corner of my eye, I could see Drew looking at me; here I was, admitting that I had looked him up before we’d really known each other. But did that matter at this point? No, it didn’t, because if we didn’t figure out a way to get out of this situation, nothing mattered—because we’d be dead.
“I’m not going to look up some website that you probably created,” the guy in the baseball cap said. He trained his eyes on Drew. “If you can tell me the name of the club you played, we’ll let you go. But if you aren’t able to, then it’s pretty damn obvious to me that not only are you a trespasser, you’re also full of shit, and I will rape your girlfriend here and make you watch. How does that sound?”
“That sounds like it’s probably the best offer I’m going to get. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you the name of the club.”
It felt as though my heart stopped. After all this, and he couldn’t remember the name of the club? Ukiah wasn’t that big of a city at all; surely he could hazard a guess.
“Why am I not surprised?” the guy said. “I knew you were full of shit.”
“I can’t tell you the name of the club because it didn’t happen in a club,” Drew continued. “It was an outdoor festival on the village green. The first and last of its kind because of how trashed the place got. Which I suppose you should expect if one of the main attractions is a band called The Trashers.”
The two guys were quiet. I turned to look at Drew, but he just stared at them, until finally, the guy in the hat nodded.
“Well,” he said, “I guess you’re telling the truth.”
I could only hope that these guys had been, too, and that they would let us leave.
“I am,” Drew said. “And now you know the identity of the bass player for Field of Vision, too.”
“That’s really you?”
“Yes. Really me.”
“Shit. Wouldn’t want to be responsible for dispatching the bass player of FoV. I like The Trashers better, but FoV are pretty good, too.”
“So, now that we’ve got this all cleared up, we’ll be on our way,” Drew said. “And I promise you that you’ll never see either of us here again.”
Drew nodded curtly and then took my hand, and we turned and started to walk across the field. My palm was sweating; the only thing I could think of was they were going to shoot us in the back and then bury us somewhere on their vast property. But that didn’t happen. No shots were fired, and right as we were about to reach the woods, I heard the rev on the truck engine. When I looked over my shoulder, the truck was roaring off in the opposite direction.
“Holy shit!” I said. “Did that really just happen? What the hell?”
“Fuck.” Drew ran his hand through his hair and gritted his teeth. “That was so fucked up I can’t even believe it. What a bunch of fucking assholes. Jesus Christ. We just need to get the hell out of here.” He quickened his pace and I hurried to keep up. As we walked, I tried not to think about all the other ways that situation could have gone. Like, what would have happened if Drew hadn’t known the band on that guy’s T-shirt? Or if that guy hadn’t worn that particular T-shirt today? Or if Drew hadn’t been able to remember where he’d played that show? I didn’t want to think of all the awful possibilities, but it was impossible not to.
“That’s the thing with people who live in these rural areas,” Drew muttered. “Not all of them—I’m not making some blanket statement, even though it probably sounds that way.” He looked over at me. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Nothing had happened, after all. I was glad my voice didn’t shake, because I didn’t want Drew to know just how much that whole situation had actually frightened me. How easy it would have been for those guys to shoot us and dispose of our bodies on their vast property somewhere.
He reached over and took my hand. “Good. Because I would never let anything bad happen to you.”
I traced my index finger lightly along one of the bones in his hand and knew that he meant every word he’d just said.
***
And just like that, I was back home.
“So, how’d it go? What happened?” Austin and Jill had both parked themselves on the couch, glasses of wine in hand. Jill handed me one, and I took a sip.
“Nothing,” I said. “I can’t say that it was the most successful trip.”
“Really?” Austin said, looking disappointed. “You were gone all this time and nothing happened?”
“I’m sorry not to have come back with something better. Well, I did find out that my parents weren’t actually killed in a car accident, but killed because the brakes on their car were tampered with. At my uncle’s request.”
“What?” Jill said. “Really? How did you find that out?”
“We ended up going to see my uncle’s estranged friend, Skip. Who’s dying. So I guess he felt compelled to clear his conscience before he finally leaves this earth.”
“Holy shit—that’s heavy.” Austin shook his head. “I wouldn’t say that qualifies as nothing.”
“I know it doesn’t, but it wasn’t the point. That wasn’t what we were trying to figure out, in doing this. I already knew that my uncle was an asshole; this just further confirms that fact.” I sighed. “I’m sorry; I’m not trying to sound so irritated. But... the whole thing just feels so frustrating. So this is it—I just find this journal and that’s that?”
“It might be,” Jill said. “Life isn’t always like some movie just because you find something like that. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear. How is Drew doing?”
“I think he’s disappointed, too. But I also think he knew the chances were good that nothing was really going to come of this.” I paused. “We did... um... we did sleep together.”
I had debated whether or not I was going to disclose this information to them, but I had decided I might as well; they’d find out eventually and I knew they’d be happy for me, that at least one good thing had happened. I decided to leave out the part about almost getting killed by some hillbillies.
“Oh, my God, I knew it,” Austin said, hand covering his mouth. He brought his hand down and then high-fived Jill. “I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! And, damn, girl, that man is fine. The sex must’ve been so hot.”
“It was pretty good,” I said, and I couldn’t help but smile remembering it.
“Look at you!” Jill exclaimed, laugh
ing. “I was wondering if that would happen. And if it was good, then I’m glad it did.”
“Details!” Austin said.
I gave them some of the details, but not all of them. I didn’t really feel like rehashing everything, so after I finished my wine, I said that I was going to head to bed early. I was unpacking when I heard my phone ring, and went over and looked at it, hoping it was Drew. It was not. It was, in fact, a number I didn’t recognize, which normally meant I’d let it go to voicemail, but for some reason, I felt like I should answer it.
“Hello?”
“Is this Gwen?”
“Yes.” I didn’t recognize the voice, a woman’s.
“Hi,” she said. “This is Carla. You were here a few days ago, to talk with my husband, Judd.”
“Oh, hi,” I said, surprised. “How are you?”
“I apologize to be calling like this,” she said. “I... I went through Judd’s phone and found your number. He doesn’t know that I’m getting in touch with you.”
“Okay,” I said slowly, not sure where she was going with this. “Is everything all right?”
“I wasn’t sure if I should call you or not. I mean, it’s not really any of my business, this whole thing. I thought that it might be better if I just stayed out of it. I’ve got enough things going on here as it is. But... I know that Judd wasn’t completely honest with you.”
“He wasn’t?”
“No. I don’t think he realizes how well the sound carries from the deck up to the second floor if the windows are open, which they were that day you guys were over. So I could hear everything you were saying, which is how I know that he wasn’t being entirely honest.”
“Which part?”
“He does know who Ashleigh is.”
I froze, not quite sure I’d heard her right. “Wait—what?” I said. “You’re saying he knows Ashleigh? Even though he said he didn’t?”
“Yes. He told me about her. He didn’t get into a lot of details, and he didn’t mention her by name. But I heard how Drew described her, and Judd had said that Brandon was with this girl who dressed differently, who was into punk rock. Which I know nothing about, so I remembered that, because I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to go around in public with crazy-colored hair or something. I’m just not that sort of person.”
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