“I think you should. Well, I have a date with my man and French pastry so I should probably go. Ta-ta.”
By the time I end my call with Kai, salmon pink suit lady has officially opened the bakery. Though, really, calling this place plainly a bakery is pure blasphemy. It’s more akin to the Mecca of baked goods. I’m welcomed by the fragrant aroma of freshly baked bread, a hint of rich cocoa, the light sweetness of sugar, zesty lemon and powdery, spicy cinnamon, as soon as I step in. Baguettes, glazed pastries, and mouth-watering croissants. My salivary gland is working overtime. I leave the little food utopia armed with a couple of pain au chocolat, a chocolate-filled puffed pastry, in one hand and two cups of café au lait in a carry tray in the other.
Sebastian is still peacefully asleep when I return to our room. I peel my clothes off down to my panties and put on one of Sebastian’s undershirts.
“Buenas,” a husky murmur comes from the bed. I turn around to a crooked smile and a squinting eye.
“Morning.” I take a few steps toward the bed, setting the amazingly smelling loot I got on the little sidetable. Sebastian’s hand snakes from under the cover and curls around my wrist.
“Come to bed.”
God, his morning voice, all hoarse and coated by that accent. My salivary gland is over timing once more, only this time it has nothing to do with food.
I lift a finger, signaling “a moment please,” and haste to the bathroom.
Sebastian is slouched high on a couple of pillows upon my return. Nearing the bed, I lift one leg, sinking my knee to one side of his pelvis. I bring my other leg to rest in the same position next to the other side of his hipbone. Gently, I lower my rear till I’m straddling him. Sabastian watches me attentively, his lip tipped to the side. I bring my index finger forward, the one I’ve smeared with a dab of toothpaste.
“Open up, handsome,” I say in a ludicrous “sexy” voice and bring my finger near his mouth. Sebastian opens up over a grin and I rub my finger against his warm tongue. He chuckles and lightly bites my finger as I try to retrieve it.
“Now, where were we?” I dive with my mouth toward his. He meets me halfway, raising his upper body for our mouths to meet quicker. His hand finds the nape of my neck, his fingers combing my hair. I cross my legs around him, hugging his waist, my hands tracing up and downs his biceps.
As we leisurely ease back, I hand him one of the coffees. Sebastian shifts backward to lean on the headboard, carrying me along with him.
“Thank you for the best birthday present ever,” I say, taking a sip from my paper cup. His response is a warm smile. He asks me if I spoke to my mom yet while we munch on the heavenly pastry and drink coffee.
“Yes, and it was a treat, just like I thought it would be.” I’ve been pushing aside that phone call for a while. Around a week ago, I decided that the whole situation was absurd and finally called her with the news I knew she wouldn’t easily gulp down. “I guess I have this innate talent for devoting myself to being something other than who I am, or doing things I don’t want to do just so she will be pleased with me. And I told her so, together with the news that I won’t be coming back.” I snort in contempt. “She said it’s my life I’m playing with, and since I’m not clever enough to take good advice, there’s nothing much she could really do.”
Sebastian shakes his head, his lips in a flat line.
“To make an annoyingly long and equally irritating long story short, I basically told her that as much as I love her, I don’t really care what she thinks. So, yeah, she was ecstatic.” Needless to say, that call didn’t end with warm wishes of good luck or any sort of pleasantries, for that matter.
“Speaking of mothers who adore me, did your mom buy us the tickets here?”
Sebastian’s eyes twitch at the corners and trail up to mine while his teeth sink into the pain au chocolat. He chews on the contents of his mouth with a smile under my animated gaze.
“She actually thought it was a great idea to take you here for your birthday.” He wipes his grinning mouth with the back of his hand. I raise an eyebrow. “When I told her that you aren’t going back home, after all, I think she realized there’s actually a future for the two of us and she was glad. In fact, she was genuinely happy for me.”
For a span of a moment, I process what he said and a smile blooms on my lips. “She actually gave me something to give you, but I’m not sure where it is now.”
“She sent me a present?”
He tilts his head from side to side, considering my question.
“You could say that.”
“What is it?”
Sebastian flips us over so I’m lying on the bed and he’s on top of me.
“Tell me,” I persist.
His lips feather the skin of my neck, reaching higher to my jaw, a little higher, reaching my lips. Unceremoniously, his tongue is plunged into my mouth, tasting divinely of chocolate and him. I melt into his kiss, and everything else forgotten.
The rest of the day passes lazily with naps, a late, light lunch due to extensive time spent in bed that had nothing to do with resting, and an easy walk along the river Seine.
Night has taken over the city and the air becomes chilly as we make our way back to the hotel after a perfect dinner in a small traditional restaurant. Sebastian takes off his jacket and shawls it around my shoulders as we walk in pleasant silence, admiring the beauty that is the Champs Elysees at night, with its old architecture and massive buildings beautifully illuminated with tiny lights.
Sebastian’s arm embraces my waist, and he leans in to leave a soft kiss on my hair. “It’s so incredibly beautiful here,” I say.
He nods. “You know that you have this expression when you’re at awe, or muddled, that I’m crazy about.”
I scrunch my face in query, looking at him. “What expression?”
“Sort of like the one you are wearing right now, but not quite.”
I cock my head with a faint smile.
“Come, I have an idea how to show you.”
“What?” I ask through a giggle, letting him tug me after him, trying to figure out where he is taking us.
I giggle some more when we stop next to an old photo booth.
“I didn’t know these even existed anymore.”
“Well, they do.” His grin echoes mine. He gestures for me to get in with an exaggerated curtsy, and I obey, my smile intact. Sebastian’s wide frame almost overflows the confined space. He takes a seat on the low stool and pulls me to sit sideways on his thighs.
“Hola.” He smiles at me and gives me a quick kiss. He produces a couple of coins from his pocket and inserts them into the machine.
“So, about that expression of yours.” He kisses me again over a unified smile as the first click sound indicates a photo has been taken. He hugs me, pressing his cheek against mine and says with humored lining, “Smile at the camera.” And another click is heard.
I make a goofy face, looking ahead when all of a sudden he says, “Marry me.” I’m sure he’s managed to get the expression he was looking for, as in the next couple of shots the camera captures me utterly flabbergasted. When I finally regain my wits, I turn to look at him, my jaw still dropped and my eyes still wide open.
“Did you just?” I say and don’t even let him answer. “Good one, you got me. Haha.” I watch him carefully. “It was a joke, right?”
He returns my stare and twists his mouth, moving it from side to side. “Let me see, you are much older than me, and sometimes you are sort of too nitpicky and uptight, yeah, let’s not forget uptight, and it took you almost forever to actually let me in, and you always have to taste my food. Umm, you know what, yeah; maybe it wasn’t such a great idea after all. Forget it. Joke. It was a joke.”
Okay, now I’m even more shocked and a tad upset. Maybe hurt would be a more accurate way to describe how I feel. And mad. I’m also mad. Yeah, pretty damn ticked actually.
His lips tip up at my riled expression, and he chuckles. He looks down at the
tiny square floor of the booth and then at me.
“Can you please stand up on the stool for me?”
I’m too stunned even to argue, and while I’m absorbed in composing the mother of all tirades, I do as told. When my anger is about to catch up with my vocal cords, he sends his arms around my thighs and tilts his head up to look at me. I look down at him and he returns my blazed gaze with a warm one.
“So, since I can’t do the whole getting on one knee thing in this damn narrow place, this will do.” I move my hands to his shoulders for support because the combination of the flimsy stool I’m standing on and the fact that I’m starting to lightly shake is not the greatest combination. “You okay?” he asks. “I was just messing with you, Liv.”
I’m not sure I am okay because my heartbeat is a mile a minute as I wait for him to go on, but I still nod.
After a silent beat, looking at me with soulful eyes, Sebastian asks. “Liv, would you marry me?”
I can feel my features wavering from joy to overwhelming emotion and back to happiness. For an extent of a loaded moment, every possible positive emotion runs through me.
“Of course.” It’s a weak whisper because it’s the only sound I can produce given my throat is swelled. Sebastian grabs me by my hips and helps me down, right into his arms. Right into his embrace. Right onto his mouth. I sense him searching his pocket while we continue to kiss tenderly. He slowly breaks off our kiss, tilting back to look at me.
He takes my hand in his and slowly slides an antique looking, elegant ring with a blue sapphire, studded with a halo of diamonds on my finger. Mesmerized, I look at the ring now decorating my hand and bring my eyes to his.
“It’s so beautiful! I love it.”
“It belonged to my grandmother. Remember that thing my mom gave me to give you?”
“I love you beyond words.” I throw my arms around him, pressing my face to his noticeably beating heart, happier than I’ve ever been in my life.
Long moments have passed when I finally slowly ease my lips back from my fiancé. Sebastian reaches his hand to the machine in front of us to fish out the photo strip with two fingers. He gives it a peek and grins. Pressed snuggly into the side of his biceps, I lower my head to have a glance.
“This expression,” he says, and our smiles expand.
It feels like my journey to find happiness has finally come to an end at this very instant. Lastly, I understand the true secret of being genuinely content as I look into the eyes of the man I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with. It’s about not following the path. It’s about drawing your own map, even if it’s not the easiest way to reach your destination. Because then at least you own it and it’s entirely yours. And you need to remember to do it while accepting and loving yourself. Loving yourself with that couple of extra pounds and the things you sometimes utter with so little thought. With all the imperfections that make you who you are because, above all else, you can’t leave your true self behind. Yes, in the end, it’s about experiencing it all and having that special someone to share it with. The one who makes you feel at home no matter where you are. Because a real home is not a dot on the globe or four walls and a roof.
Home is where your heart chooses to be.
Ah! Let’s see you one up this pearl of wisdom, Dr. Smartass!
Note from the Author
Dear Reader,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read LEAVING ME BEHIND.
Leaving Me Behind is the first full length novel I’ve ever written. It’s also the first book I’ve ever rewritten. It’s the first book that has some of my own life’s experiences from living as an expat for the greater part of my life, laced in the story.
Besides being “my first,” this is also the first book I was about to give up on. Yes, I was minutes away from letting it rest in peace, buried in a folder for ever after. But I’m glad I didn’t and hope you feel the same way! ☺
So, if you have any extra time, it would be great, REALLY GREAT, if you leave a review on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Goodreads, or anywhere else you wish. ;-)
Also, I more than love hearing from my readers, honestly, it’s the best part of the whole writing process. So, send me an email at: [email protected] or chat with me on Facebook.
Thank you for allowing me to share my stories with you, and I hope to be re-invited to your bookshelf with my next releases.
Again, THANK YOU!
Loads of x’s & o’s,
Sigal
Acknowledgments
LEAVING ME BEHIND is the first full length novel I’ve ever written. It’s also the first book I’ve ever rewritten. It’s the first book that has some of my own life’s experiences from living as an expat for the greater part of my life, laced in the story.
Besides being “my first,” this is also the first book I was about to give up on. Yes, I was minutes away from letting it rest in peace, buried in a folder for ever after. But I’m glad I didn’t. Eventually writing it turned out an entertaining, introspective and beautiful journey.
It’s a book about following your dreams and learning that the road, hope and aspiration are a great part of the ride, if not the actual reward. It’s a book about finding yourself, true friendships, and last but definitely not least, unexpected love.
For me, just like Liv, being an expat, raised more than once, the big questions: where is home, and what does it stand for?
And just like Liv realizes that home is not a location on the globe, or four walls and a roof, but where your heart chooses to be - for me, no matter where I actually am, the US, Europe or the Middle East, home has always been and will be where my three nutty kiddos and my (definitely) better half are.
Some gigantic, heartfelt thank yous for those who helped, encouraged, and shared with me the beautiful experience of writing this book.
Beth, Beth, Beth… I think thank you doesn’t even begin to cover how grateful I am to you. Thank you for making this book happen! Thank you for listening, reading, editing, laughing, shedding a tear (or two) and mostly, loving the story and characters as much as I do.
My Betas, Teele, Hila, Ravit, Beth and Nicole. Big, fat, thanks!
Nicole Hornbaker, for your magnificent work and your priceless suggestions. I can’t imagine writing a book without you somehow involved.
Jenny, for all the hard work and professionalism. Jenny, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Ravit, for your time and dedication, the laughter, sarcasm, ideas, and suggestions. It’s always a blast working with you on the final TLC touches of a book. I’m beyond thankful for all your help.
Anais Chevalier, for helping with the French translations. Merci!
Pilar Paz, Muchas gracias por la ayuda con el Español
Capy and Sylvie, well, for existing.
Gal, as always, for making this thrilling journey called life as great.
My kiddos, for being as perfect as you are and still loving me unconditionally even with less mommy-time.
My cyber BFF, my favorite author, my dear, dear friend Olivia Luck, for being you.
For Artie, just because!
BLOGGERS, truly incredible bloggers. I’m forever grateful and humbled by your continuous support. You are simply the best.
Special gigantic gratitude to some special ladies: Julie B., Sharon T., Bianca T., Kelly S., Lies, Carmie, the sweet, sweet Tatia, and the lovely ladies at Love Between the Sheets.
And last but not least, my readers. Since Layers was released I’ve been constantly overwhelmed by your response. You guys are truly amazing and I could have not asked for better readers.
Thank you! Thank you, and then some. Thank you for reviewing, messaging, emailing, loving, liking, spreading the word. You rock big time!
Also by Sigal Ehrlich
Layers
Inner Core
Retrace
About the Author
By teen age, Sigal already lived in three different continents where she was lucky
enough to experience and visit varied places, meet unique people, which only helped fuel her overly developed imagination. Currently, Sigal calls Estonia home where she lives with her husband and three kids.
Not exactly sure where they will end up next …
Sigal would love to hear from you, please visit her on her website, Twitter, and Facebook.
http://www.sigalehrlich.com/
@Sigal_Ehrlich
https://www.facebook.com/sigalehrlich.author
http://www.pinterest.com/authorsehrlich/
[email protected]
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 “Resolution”
Chapter 2 “Wrap Your Troubles in Dreams”
Chapter 3 “This is the Beginning”
Chapter 4 “Playing with the Boys”
Chapter 5 “Seduce Me Tonight”
Chapter 6 “The Morning After”
Chapter 7 “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”
Chapter 8 “The Way it Seems to Go”
Chapter 9 “Can We Figure it Out”
Chapter 10 “This Probably Won’t End Well”
Chapter 11 “First crack”
Chapter 12 “Warning Sign”
Chapter 13 “Infidelity”
Chapter 14 “All You Never Say”
Chapter 15 “Say Something”
Chapter 16 “A Mistake”
Chapter 17 “I’ll Drink to That”
Chapter 18 “Feel This”
Chapter 19 “Torn”
Chapter 20 “Poison and Wine”
Chapter 21 “Matters of the Heart”
Chapter 22 “Sin Miedo a Nada”
Chapter 23 “You Could Be Happy”
Chapter 24 “Protect Me from What I Want”
Chapter 25 “Who Says You Can't Go Home”
Leaving Me Behind Page 26
