“Those are not granny panties.”
I opened my eyes a crack to see the absolute shock on his face. And something else sizzled in his eyes. Something hungry-looking. I plucked my beanie off and made a run for the pool in my lacey yellow boy shorts.
“Mel,” I heard him groan behind me a second before I jumped into the pool.
I stayed under the water and studied the moon glimmering off the surface. The water splashed beside me, and soon, he was there, face oddly serious. He looked almost mad. He pointed up and swam to the surface. I broke the water and turned to find him glaring at me.
“What?” I asked.
“You could have warned me.”
“Warned you what? You told me to do it.”
He swam close and his hands settled on my waist under the water. “You could have told me that you were wearing see-through underwear with a body like that.”
“A body like what?” I put my hands on his shoulders to steady myself in the bobbing of the water.
His fingertips dug into my flesh. His wet lashes and hair only added to his beauty. “Like this.” He looked down, his eyes unabashedly studying my cleavage before returning to my eyes.
“I didn’t know there was anything to warn about.” I let him go and pushed the water away with my arms, kicking out and swimming away from him.
When I got back to the surface, everyone was watching. Including Maisy. A hoard of teenage boys dove into the pool. The entire basketball team tried to get to me. Dare laughed so hard, I thought he’d crack a rib when I screamed and started swimming away.
“Melanie,” they all groaned, like zombies.
I giggled, kicking my feet harder. When I got to the edge of the mountain, I climbed up, and then skimmed the edge of the mountain as they all flopped around senselessly. Maisy and Miranda jumped into the pool though, long, curvy bodies in skimpy panties and bras, and all of their attention went to them. “Maisy,” they groaned, starving for a new brain.
Grateful, I turned around, giving my back to the pool. Overhead, the song changed to one I finally knew, and I planted my feet, and then back-flipped into the water.
Dare greeted me when I broke the water. I pushed my hair back with wet hands to see him better. He swam past me for a shadow in the mountain. Curious, I followed him past the shadow, which was really a dark opening in the mountain. The opening brightened, showcasing a cave that looked like it curved around the pool itself. The blue lights were embedded into the mountain itself, and the entire cave glowed cerulean. There was a hot top built into the corner and there was a bar in there too.
“Cool, huh?” Dare swam over to the bar and stood. The water went to his waist. He pulled out a bottle, shrugged, and then got down two shot glasses. “Your boyfriend is lonely. Take a shot with me.”
“If I weren’t here what would you be doing?” I stood beside him, eyeing the clear liquid with unease. I wasn’t scared of the alcohol or even what might happen. I was more scared because I wasn’t scared. Choosing wrong should feel wrong. But Dare was doing it, and lately, not everything he did felt all that bad.
“I’d be shitfaced already.” He slid the shot glass over to me. “Cheers to… creating our own rules.”
I picked up the glass and gently bumped it against his. A moment before the glass touched my lips, our eyes locked. “To our own rules,” I agreed softly, and then let the fire of the drink slide down my throat. “Ugh, that tastes like crap.” I tried to wipe my tongue off on the back of my hand.
Chuckling warmly, he reached into a bucket and pulled out a lime. “Suck on this.” He brought it to my lips.
I leaned forward gratefully and bit into the sour lime, letting the acid chase away the bitter fire. My lips touched his fingers, and I glanced up to find him doing that intense, I’ll make you melt with one storm cloud look of my eyes, thing I didn’t think he knew he was even doing.
“Thanks.” I licked the lime from my lips as a shiver of disgust traveled over me. “That’s gross stuff.”
He shook his head out and shrugged. “It’s good for blocking shit out. As long as you’re safe about it. Which you will be, with me. Let’s take one more and then get some grub, cool?”
Cool, I thought, loving the pull in his eyes. We took another shot and then swam out of the cave and into the party and out of the pool. He plucked up a towel from the pile near the back door and handed it to me as he dragged one over himself. I felt instantly off. Not wrong, but lighter. Hazy. Mom and Dad who?
My knuckles brushed over Dare’s, and the connection shot through my entire body. The song changed, and Dare started singing along, snagging my hand and pulling me into the kitchen. I forgot I was in my panties until eyes began to burn the backs of my legs and my ass. I wrapped the towel around my waist and glared at anyone I caught ogling me.
Me. The tomboy.
Serves them right, I thought smugly.
“Pizza?” Dare said over the music. He grabbed a piece and sang the lyrics and ate at the same time, eyes heavy-lidded, posture relaxed.
Bad.
Dare was a bad boy right now, and I was caught in his web.
Rudy appeared behind Dare, put his arm around his shoulder and leaned in to get a piece of pizza, both of them singing the song perfectly, looking at me while I watched them with what I was sure was a super drunk smile. Easy, uncaring, and oddly amused. And starving.
I snatched up a slice and hopped onto the counter, studying the people around me with foggy, heavy eyes. They all looked… like me. Teenagers. But I knew that wasn’t true, I was in a mood to make exceptions for our social standings. I didn’t forget the amphitheater hierarchy. Not when they ate on a stage and I ate in the nosebleeds.
When I turned back, Dare was gone. I thought I saw his hair in the crowd close by, so I didn’t worry.
After a few minutes, I needed to pee, so I hopped down and fought through the crowd, ending up in a hall just as crammed. I didn’t know which way to go. A ninety’s hip-hop song came on, and everyone started jumping in the air, dancing along. I got dislodged on the other side, in a room that looked like a pool room. There were lots of boys in there smoking something sharp and grass smelling. Weed, I realized, catching the lower eyes of a boy that was in my biology class. He did a double-take when he saw me, so I stuck out my tongue and pushed my way out of the room. Someone pushed me. I stumbled into someone else. And arms grabbed me, pulling me through the crowd into what looked like a library.
I blinked in confusion at the rows and rows of books. The door behind me closed. And staring at me were three girls I didn’t want to be alone with.
The music thumped through the closed doors.
But it was quiet in that library.
“I warned you, tomboy. Leave my boyfriend alone.”
Maisy, Miranda, and Tyra, stared down at me like the villains they were.
CHAPTER TEN
I sensed my impending downfall, but I hadn’t fallen yet, and I wasn’t going to let these bullies get to me. Even if they got to me.
I crossed my arms over my chest. They were all still in their bras and panties from jumping in the pool earlier. Damp hair falling down their backs. Mutant Barbie’s came to mind. “I have nothing to do with why you and Dare broke up. We both know that.”
“Oh,” Maisy said, widening her eyes into a falsely innocent expression. “Did you think I wanted you to talk back? This isn’t a give and take conversation. This is me letting you know once and for all how things are going to go. Darren is mine. He’s always been mine. He will continue to be mine. You’re just some pathetic idiot he’s too nice to kick out of the room. I’m not that nice.”
I opened my mouth to respond, and then Miranda stepped forward and slapped me. Just. Like. That. It was insane to me, how every single hurt I’d felt lately came out in that moment. I brought my hand back and slapped her back so hard she fell to the ground, and then I ran at Maisy.
Unfortunately, she was as messed up as me. She growled and our fists both
connected. We hit, and scratched, and hair pulled. It was amazing. I didn’t feel her hits, but I made sure she felt mine.
“Get off her!” Tyra screeched, trying and failing to break us up.
“His hat looks better on me,” I sneered.
She hissed, ripping at my scalp. “He’ll never leave me.”
I knocked her hands aside and pinned her hands on either side of her head. “He’s already gone.” I tossed her arms away and stood. Her two bodyguards stood close, not as messed up as I thought, since they didn’t make a move to jump in. I bent to pick up the towel that had dropped during the struggle, and wrenched the library door open, disappearing into the crowd.
I didn’t let my tears loose until I’d managed to find myself back into the backyard. I hated to let any of those people to see me cry, but I was pissed. I stomped over to the cabana and started getting dressed.
“Mel,” someone breathed, relief thick in their voice. “Where the hell did you go?”
The sound of his voice killed me. Took the birds and the air from my world. I tried to get my legs into my pants, but I was way too fuzzy, and I fell down on the couch. When I looked up, his entire face became hard, frightening stone.
He turned without saying anything, stomping into the house in his underwear.
I got dressed quickly, put my hair back up, and then I left the way I came, ignoring the crowd that had gathered in the back of the hall where I’d been. I heard screaming, loud, deep, male screaming. And a female sobbing.
I ditched out the front door and took off running down the driveway, past the expensive cars; the moon followed me, shining a path. I was fueled by anger, by pain, by the fact that the only time I felt anything at all lately was because it hurt.
The dark road swallowed my footsteps. My tears.
My nothing.
I’d managed to make it to the mountain access road before I heard him. In my mind, I was done. Done with everyone and everything, and I didn’t see how I could keep letting people in, or maybe I didn’t want to. Maybe I wanted to be as alone as my parents had left me.
“Melanie, stop running!” Dare roared.
Toxic emotions swirled in every inch of me. I felt weighed down and bruised. I wanted to run far and away and come back when everything was good again. But I feared that wasn’t an option. Pre-divorce Melanie couldn’t exist. She had to stay. She had to learn to be this new her without parts she’d had; I had to be okay with the missing parts.
But I wasn’t.
Those parts had only barely dislodged, and their absence burned hot and ruining in my blood. Plus, I wasn’t the one to make this mess.
I was up to my waist in it.
I spun around in the road, the taillights of passing cars illuminating his approaching body. He had that stupid hat in his hands. I pointed at him. “This is your fault.”
He skidded to a halt in the dirty embankment, coming for me with outstretched arms and a deeply guilty expression. “I know, Mel,” he breathed, deep voice ragged with emotion. “And I am so sorry they did that to you. Because of me. That had nothing to do with you. How could it? You’re way too good to attract that toxic shit on your own. I’m sorry,” he insisted, his voice breaking.
“Don’t do that!” I lashed out, thrusting my pointed finger at him. “Don’t make me feel sorry for you. I’m not. You’re not the one with another mark on her face!” I wailed, doubling over as my sob tore through me. “Don’t touch me.” I tried to scream, but only a breathless gasp came out.
My knees dug into the gravel embankment. His knees sounded as they did the same. His arms came around me. He didn’t tell me to breathe that time and I didn’t seek out the free fall in his eyes, either.
“This is my fault,” he whispered heavily, like it was a secret.
“Let me up.” I was too weak to fight his hold. “Darren,” I snapped, not wanting him to touch me right now.
Sensing the breaking point in my voice, he let me go, but not before giving me a heavy browed look of concern. “I can’t drive right now.”
Good, I thought. I wouldn’t be going home with him anyway. “I can walk.”
“You are not walking all the way home by yourself, pissed off and drunk,” he barked, getting to his feet with me. “Don’t be stupid. And stop running from me. You can blame me all you want, but you’re going to do that looking into my eyes. Not from a distance.”
“You are not my boss, Darren.” I took off down the road.
“Fine. We’re both walking home.”
I gritted my teeth and crossed my arms over my chest, my face starting to smart. The desert at night played tricks on you. It was freezing, even though the heat from the asphalt rose up and kissed my legs. But my hair was wet, and the air was cool; shivers rippled through me.
“This is so dumb. It’s like a four-hour walk. At least let me call an Uber,” he said from behind me.
“No.” I stared straight, hating the sound, the feel, of him behind me.
I was taking my anger out on him, but it wasn’t without cause. I was angry. And sad, because for a moment there, Dare had managed to take me to a place inside of myself that didn’t hurt so much.
“Melanie,” he exhaled behind me, growing irritated. “You’re so damn stubborn. You can be mad at me all you want but do it in a damn Uber.”
Four hours walking home did seem like a lot of desert roads at night when it was only a twenty-five-minute drive. “Fine.”
“Shit. I don’t have any service out here.”
I looked up at the moon and then closed my eyes in severe aggravation. I set off walking again. I didn’t stop. I put one foot in front of the other, eyes on the road, the moon, anything but him. He walked beside me, hands in his pockets, sneaking peeks at me so often it was hard not to scream. I didn’t want him looking at me, talking to me—I needed a break from him.
From Maisy.
From Dad.
From Mom.
From school.
It was almost two in the morning by the time we made it onto my street. When we got to the front door, I dug my house key from my pocket and stuck it in, my feet raw and sore. I was freezing, and with the air conditioner on, the air was ice blasting me.
I put my hand on his chest when he tried to follow me in. “Not tonight.”
He looked down at the hand on his chest and then into my eyes. “I want to stay with you tonight.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Touching,” I grumbled. “But I’ll be fine.”
His nostrils flared, but he must’ve thought better of pushing me, and nodded slowly, stormy eyes raging. “I’m not leaving, Mel. So, you can either call the police, or let me in.”
I grabbed his shirt and pulled him close. “I need a break.”
“From me?” he asked.
“Yes.”
Hurt-filled clouds moved into his eyes. He swallowed his hurt, if that’s even what I saw, and then shrugged, a mean edge curling up his lip. “Too bad.” He brushed past me and went into my dark house.
I slammed my door shut and stomped after him, up the stairs, and down the hall. I went straight for my dresser and dug out some clothes. Without acknowledging him, I grabbed a towel and stomped across the hall for my bathroom. I slammed that door too and reached behind the tie-dye shower curtain to crank on the hot water. I dug my phone out of my pocket and then tore my clothes off before stepping under the hot spray.
Why couldn’t he leave? Staying wouldn’t appease his guilt. If that’s even what he felt. Who knew with him. I scrubbed my scalp hard, washing my entire body with my wild-berry body wash until the entire room was thick with the scent of berries and all the chlorine was gone from my skin.
I got out numbly and dried, dressing in gray sweatpants and a plain white shirt. I didn’t care about panties or bras, until I remembered I wasn’t alone, and there was an annoying boy in my room. When I got to my room, he wasn’t there. His shoes were on my floo
r in a pile.
I walked over and kicked them.
I decided not to focus on him, and instead dried my hair, and then brushed my teeth. He was coming down the hall when I was coming out, a towel wrapped around his waist. It was a good thing I was mad at him.
I barely even looked at the droplets of water clinging to his abs.
His dirty clothes were balled in his fists. I grumbled under my breath and snatched them from him, going downstairs without explanation to wash them in the washer for him. I poured in extra Downy and soap, and then I sat on the laundry room floor and listened to the whir of the washer numbly.
A shadow moved in front of me, and then he was there. I was half-way asleep, and gasped, startled by his presence. He stooped down to grab my upper arms, pulling me to my feet.
“Your clothes.”
“I already put them in the dryer.” He held my hand as he led me up the stairs. “Thanks for washing them, Tom.”
I was tired.
And still mad.
But I was lonely too.
I let him lead me upstairs and tuck me into bed. He crawled in beside me in my dark room, and he pulled me to his chest. His hands massaged my body. My back, my sides, my hair, my face—his touched soothed my upturned soul. He skimmed his fingers down my waist and brushed them over the exposed skin from my risen shirt.
He took those same fingers and traced my nose and then my lips, dragging the soft pad of his thumb over my bottom lip.
I fell asleep to the feel of his lips on my temple. His warm breath fell across my cheek. “Don’t push me away. Not when I finally have you.”
Three-quarters of the way to dream land, I barely heard his words before sleep stole them from me.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Sunlight bright in my eyes woke me.
I tore my eyes open, and then snapped them closed. One look at the body curled up next to me, and last night—all the hurts, all the anger—came flying back to me. One look at my alarm clock told me that school had been in session for an hour already.
The Tomboy & the Rebel Page 9
