“I was a pretty pissed off fourteen-year-old. But it wasn’t anger I felt. It was probably more like hopelessness. I remember driving around the freeway and staring down at this lake town and wishing we could stop there. That we didn’t have to leave home, my friends. I guess I wished I could do what I wanted, even then. Everyone around us dictates what we should do, say, and be. But they’re never any of those things, Mel. We’re almost eighteen. This is our last chance to figure this shit out.”
Okay, so maybe he wasn’t on the same page as me. Maybe we had two different stories to tell. Two different wars to fight. I reached over and grabbed his hand off the steering wheel, holding it on my lap as he drove. I tangled our fingers together and traced his knuckles with my other hand. His hand was large and smooth, emanating so much heat I felt it in mine.
When the sun set completely, the night was endless, stretching across the desert; the stars shone above, watching us. Knowing. Accepting.
The stars didn’t judge us. They understood. Stuck in the sky, shining, never moving; the stars couldn’t run.
But we could.
I fell asleep around midnight. When I woke up, I blinked, stunned by what I saw. We were parked at the edge of a lake, and all around us were towering peaks of dusty red mountains. The crag was jagged and sharp, towering around the lake like guardsmen. The lake was huge, in the shape of a crescent moon, but wider in the middle. The mountains looked like they took a bite of the lake, encroaching on the surface. The lake was cerulean blue, glimmering under the glaring sun. Desert plants jutted out of the crag, giving the lake pops of green. Higher up, I could see a city the size of my fist dug into the mountain; stores and houses broke up the city.
I turned to Dare with my mouth agape. He was sitting up, his feet hanging out the window. His arms were behind his head, and the hat that brought us together was on his head as he gazed out at the water with a strange look in his eyes. His gunmetal eyes looked bluer against the water; the lake brought out the flecks of sky in his irises so well, my throat jammed closed and my belly filled with heat.
He looked too beautiful for words.
His gaze fell away from the lake to fall on mine instead. “See what I mean? This place is magical.”
I nodded, unable to find words. Even if I used them I’d probably sound like a frog. I sat back and took my shoes off, hanging my feet out my window. The sleep in my mind faded as I watched the tranquil lake glitter under the sun. I already felt the effects. There were no dust motes in a place like this. It was alive and loved.
The way I yearned to feel again.
“Thank you for doing this with me, Mel.”
I didn’t look at him. If I did I feared what I may do. Like maul him in the front seat. The bad boy in him was alluring. But the good boy trapped inside of his hurt was ten times sexier.
“It’s the least I could do. You did buy me sushi.”
A low laugh sounded from him. He dropped his feet and groaned. “Let’s go see about a hotel.”
He backed up in the gravel, his tires kicking up clouds of red dust. I kept my feet out the window and swept my toes through the cloud of dust.
Dare drove the truck around the mountain and then got onto a road, following it around the curve and into the city. welcome to free fall, Arizona. please don’t fall. seriously. it’s not pretty. have fun!
I giggled.
The road into the city immediately spit us out onto Free Road, the cities equivalent to main street. Drug stores, restaurants, and shops took up the street. The shops looked like they were old western and Cape Cod-inspired. Lots of white wood and rustic decorations with pops of blue and yellow. I loved it so much, I took my camera out and snapped as many pics as I could.
There was a young couple in the main square as we drove around the turnabout, probably early twenties. I snapped a picture as he kissed her, wanting that. Not the kiss, but a relationship that mattered enough to kiss on main square.
Dare squinted ahead, and then pointed. “Lake cottage rentals up ahead.”
He took the turn off. The road turned west, a dusty dry tree laden road that took us all the way down to a row of apartment like cottages that overlooked the west side of the lake. It looked more beach-like on this side; the desert mountains towered over us from afar.
We both got out and I followed him to the rental bunker to find it manned by a woman wearing an AC/DC tank top and dreadlocks in her hair. She beamed when she saw us.
“You eighteen?” she asked knowingly.
Dare bristled. “Does that matter?”
“Can’t rent a cottage if you’re not eighteen. You’re both cute as a button, but you’re not cute enough to get stiffed with an unpaid bill.”
Dare removed his hat and ran his hand through his hair, and then he pasted on a smile full of his straight white teeth and charm. It wouldn’t work on me; I thought he looked stupid. She, on the other hand, lowered her lashes and put her elbow on the table.
Her eyes flashed to me for a brief go and then moved right back to him. “She your girlfriend?”
He nodded, giving me an indulgent look. “The little rascal can’t get enough of me.”
I glared. “Little rascal?”
He ignored me. “We won’t stiff you with the bill, because we’ll pay cash up front. How much is one night?”
“Sixty-five for a one-bedroom a night.”
“We’ll take five nights for now.” He reached into his pocket and produced his wallet, keeping the contents hidden but still somehow managing to produce three-hundred-and-twenty-five-dollars.”
I did the math quickly in my head. At that rate, we’d be broke in less than twenty-five days, and that was only for the room. That didn’t include food or anything else. The sheer stupidity of what we were doing struck me in that moment, but mostly it struck how I looked at Dare. He wasn’t like other boys my age, but he was still wistful. The fact that he wanted to run so badly with no idea of his failing made heat burn even hotter in my body. It was endearing. And entirely relatable.
“We’ll take one night,” I intervened, snatching the cash from his hand and counting out the correct amount before he could hand it all over to her.
“What are you doing?” he hissed, lowering his voice, which made no difference; she was looking right at us.
I fixed a smile on my face and handed her the sixty-five. “One night, please.”
She took the money and reached below her desk to slide a room key over to us. “Check out will be at this time tomorrow.” She looked at the clock and then down at me, this weird look in her eyes. I thought she was impressed, but I wasn’t sure what for. “And if anyone asks, you’re eighteen. We clear?”
“Yes,” Dare and I both answered automatically.
“Great. Get on. Lake’s public, pool for the hotel is out back. Just follow the path down and you can’t miss it. Fresh towels are in the clubhouse outside your room. You can find ice there, too. Pleasure doing business with you.”
“Why did you do that?” he asked once we made it back outside, snatching his money from my hand and curling it in his fist.
“Because you’re being totally impulsive about this. Do you want to run for a week, or do you want to run for longer?” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“What are we going to do for a place to sleep tomorrow?”
“Maybe you should have thought of that before.” Sighing, I dropped my arms and looked around. We were so stupid. “Let’s go to our room. We’ll figure it out.” I stomped over to his truck, and together we both wrestled our bags out of the back and trudged through the front gates and down the quaint dirt path between the rooms. The cottages were narrow and long, instead of wide and squared. Attractive sardine cans came to mind.
Dare stuck the key into the door knob, and after giving it a rough twist, he pushed it open to reveal our room.
I gasped, and then slapped a hand over my nose at the smell. It stunk of mildew and something sour, like last night’s puke. It looked no
thing like the brochures up in the office. There were no pillow lavish beds, but a single twin bed with a sickening green blanket and one pillow that looked like Bigfoot used it to prop his feet up on.
When I ran, I didn’t think about what lay ahead of me. I ran to escape what was behind me. And Dare had done the same, running toward a paradise with a few bucks and dirty sheets.
I didn’t want to be mad at him.
It was still beautiful outside.
“What the hell?” he grumbled, dropping his bag to the floor. He went deeper into the room, a disappointed frown between his brows. He looked appalled. “What the hell is this?” He kicked at the bed, causing the lightweight mattress to flip over far too easily. “She just got us for sixty-five bucks.”
Operative word. Just sixty-five.
I knew that this room was so small in comparison to everything else, but it felt like the start of a horrible idea. I set my bag down in the chair beside the desk phone circa 1992. It was see-through, and it only had a touch pad. The TV was thicker than the bed.
I crossed my arms over my chest and pursed my lips.
“Don’t start,” he warned, shooting me a dark look.
“I wasn’t saying anything.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Your cute little face says it all.”
“Is it saying that you’re an idiot?” I asked hopefully.
He ignored me, tearing his hat off his head. He plunged one hand through his hair and looked around helplessly. “I’d rather sleep in my truck.”
“Probably not going to happen,” a deep unfamiliar voice stated.
I gasped, whirling around to the door to see a cop standing on the outside of our room, hand resting on his hip by his gun. He gave me a wink and moved the piece of neon green gum in his mouth to the other side of his cheek.
Dare studied him. “Who are you?”
“I’ll tell you both everything you need to know at the station.”
“The station?” I squeaked. “But we didn’t do anything.”
“Uh-huh. You’re both dressed, clean, and young. Runaways who couldn’t even rent a room. Misty, the hotel clerk, kindly gave me a call. I’m sheriff of this county. Get your stuff. We’re going to take a drive down to the station and we’ll call your parents to come and get you.”
Dare paled.
I paled further.
Our eyes met, and I knew what we were both thinking. No one would answer his calls, but we’d end up right where we started. With the dust motes.
We both made a run for it, but he caught us both by our arms, and fighting and glaring, he dragged us to the cop car in the parking lot. Misty stared out the window, an indulgent smile on her face like she wasn’t ruining our escape plan.
“No talking,” the sheriff barked when Dare cursed under his breath.
We were side by side in the cop car. I was equal parts humiliated and enraged. I couldn’t even look at Dare. I closed my eyes instead, breathing, counting, doing anything I could other than harming him.
“I’m sorry, Mel,” he whispered.
I decided to pretend that was a dream. An unpleasant one. The sheriff drove us around the city and through a small desert turnoff to the sheriff station. None of this was real. I wasn’t actually being forced back to Phoenix already.
And, as it turned out, what happened was way, way worse.
The moment we made it to the station, we were separated immediately. I figured if I kept my mouth shut long enough, they’d get bored and release me. But I realized really fast that not all adults felt the way my parents did about their seventeen-year-old daughter. To them, it wasn’t right to be alone, to be setting my own rules.
“Can I talk to Darren?” I asked the sheriff.
“That your friend?” he asked, sitting back at his desk.
I also thought the sheriff didn’t have enough to do. “Can I talk to him, or not?”
“Not.” He leaned close. “Until I know what you’re doing here, I’m not playing along.”
“I told you already. We were taking the weekend off.” That wasn’t entirely a lie.
“I’ll keep you in a cell until I get a name, and a number.”
I didn’t know why I fought him. The jig was up. Our prison break rained down around me in a pathetic flurry of exploded promises and desperate attempts. I gave him my name and then I gave him my father’s number since he’d texted, which was more communication than I’d had with Mom.
“Good girl.” He sat back and picked up his desk phone and dialed my father’s number. “Hello? Who am I speaking with? Mr. Barton? I’m Sheriff Jerry. I have your daughter in my police station as a runaway. I assure you, I do. We’re in Free Fall, Arizona, sir. Phoenix?” he said, giving me an impressed flare of his nostrils. “That’s a long way from home. Didn’t you notice she was gone?” His eyes took on a fatherly tone, and then his eyes fell on me, and I looked down at my hands. “Here’s the deal. I don’t care who was supposed to be watching her. You or your ex-wife. You’ve got by tonight to come and pick her up, or I’m booking her in the juvenile ward.”
My entire bottom fell out of me. He couldn’t be serious? Please don’t forget about me, I prayed. The one time I needed my parents to see me, that was it.
I heard Dad’s loud growl of anger, and then Sheriff Jerry nodded approvingly. He handed the phone off to me.
I felt sick. I took the phone and placed it to my ear. “Dad?”
“Melanie Barton, what the hell do you have to say for yourself?” he demanded.
I heard no softness in him. No understanding. I heard hardness and anger. The exact same thing I’d heard for the past two years. “Don’t come and get me,” my lips said before I could stop myself. “If I do go to jail, at least there will be adults around, and I’ll have food to eat.” Tears immediately burned in my eyes. Pent up and held back for as long as I could, I could no longer take it.
I could no longer take them.
I wanted Dare so badly my chest ached.
He inhaled sharply. “Melanie, what are you talking about?”
My eyes slid shut in absolute defeat. Emotional defeat and just plain old I give up defeat. “Are you coming to get me or what?”
“I’m changing my flight as we speak. Where’s your mother?”
I felt this strange coldness start at the top of my head, and then it spread. Through my brain. My brain soaked it up and shot it through my receptors, until my entire body was full of cold and nothing else. “I don’t know anymore.”
A heavy sigh filled his end, and someone said something, probably Astrid. He answered her far more warmly than he spoke to me. “We’ll be there in a couple hours.”
I didn’t care anymore. I handed the sheriff back the phone and then I hugged myself against the coldness. I chewed on my nail and kicked the toe of my shoe against the scuffed tile floors. The sheriff’s office would probably be cool under different circumstances. It was outdated and a history lesson. As it was, my circumstances weren’t different.
And nothing was cool.
***
“Melanie?”
I looked up.
My heart broke. Seeing my father should bring me peace. Not anxiety and nausea. His cold hazel eyes pierced me. Would my eyes look like his someday? The thought killed me. I wanted my eyes to be the way Dare saw them.
“How come I never noticed how green and brown they were before? They’re beautiful.”
Behind him was Astrid. Long, unsettlingly straight blonde hair. How did she get it to be that straight all day? In the Phoenix heat at that. Maybe she wasn’t human. I wouldn’t put it past Dad to create a woman. They’re probably a lot easier to destroy when you’re the one making them.
He crossed his arms over his chest, peering down at me like he didn’t even know me anymore.
Ditto.
“You ran away?” he questioned, as though I’d utterly disappointed him. “With a boy?”
Oh. That’s the part that was disappointing him.
“Well? Say something,” he commanded. “Explain yourself.”
My mouth wouldn’t move. No words came out. I lost them all.
Dad’s face hardened. “Let’s go!” he snapped, making me jump. “Running off with a boy,” he grumbled under his breath as we just walked out of the sheriff station.
The Sheriff was full of crap.
“I think it’s kind of sweet,” Astrid spoke up.
Dad glared at her. “Sweet? She’s seventeen.”
“That’s only one year away from eighteen. You know how teenagers are.”
“Exactly,” he seethed, wrenching open the door on his Audi. “Get. In.”
I dug my heels in. What about Dare?
“Melanie!” my father roared.
He didn’t use to be so mean. There was a time when my father hung the moon and the stars. Now he destroyed them.
“Russel,” Astrid said, trying to calm him down.
I could see the mountain overlooking the lake from where I stood. I wanted one more minute with Dare out there. Instead, I got into the back of the Audi.
“Who is he, Melanie?” he asked once he pulled onto the road that led out of Free Fall.
In the backseat beside me were my things.
From the cottage.
From Dare’s truck.
The sight of those bags made my stomach sink further. I dug through them for my cell but came up empty.
When I looked up, I noticed it was in Dad’s cupholder.
He’d gone through my phone?
I started to hyperventilate. He had. He’d gone through my phone. Saw every single picture Dare and I had taken together. Even the one we’d taken eating sushi in bed. Rage moved through me. Even sitting down, I wanted to fall over. He’d torn through the only safe place I had left. Ripped apart Dare and me, like he did to my mom.
“Melanie Barton. I’m talking to you. Who is that boy? In your bedroom like that isn’t the first time. Running away with a boy!” He scoffed, the speedometer needle leaning toward the right. “Where is your mother?”
The Tomboy & the Rebel Page 12
