The Tomboy & the Rebel

by Leeann M. Shane

  “Where are they now?”

  “Dad married his assistant.” She looked so melancholy, my heart broke. “He spends most of his time with her and her kids. Mom’s quietly dissipating. And I’m as happy as a clam at a seafood buffet.”

  “Come over tonight?” I begged. “We can do homework together.”

  “Can’t. I have to watch my little sister. Mom’s working overtime.” She quickly changed the subject. “You’ve only kissed him, right?”

  “Yes,” I hissed, looking around in case someone heard it.

  She gave me a hard look. “Oh, come on. With the way that boy looks at you, you’ll be pregnant before college starts.”

  “What!” I squeaked, but she skipped away, laughing to herself as I paled.

  Today, I tried to pay attention in English class, but they were almost done with Life of Pi, so I spent the class catching up and hectically searching for answers in the chapter test. The teacher dropped a stack of missed assignments on my desk with a heavy scowl, and I sighed, piling them into my notebook. Biology and history class were the same thing. I was swamped in missing assignments and a headache. But at least I had money for lunch. Dad had given me a prepaid Visa with fifty bucks on it.

  I got lunch for everyone, and precariously balanced the slices of pizza, chips, and soda in my arms. On my way out of the cafeteria, Dare was coming in through the other side. He paused when he saw me, but I kept going, mumbling, “hey,” under my breath like nothing was wrong.

  “Mel,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

  I sped up, hating that I got four slices. One for him. I made my way to the amphitheater. Sean and Genna were at the top, but my heart was at the bottom with Darren freaking Morre.

  “Who’s hungry?” I asked.

  “You’re not trying to buy our affection, are you?” Sean looked unimpressed.

  Genna snorted. “Is that combination? I think she found my price.”

  “Where’d you get the money?” Sean asked as Genna shoved her face.

  “Mom and Dad are playing house. So in the meantime, I have food and attention.” My tone was dry.

  “That’s good, right? They might work it out.”

  “Or they might get me used to it before they split again.”

  He looked down at his pizza. “Incoming.”

  “Gosh, he looks good in jeans.” Genna peeked between her bangs.

  I paused in the middle of taking a bite to find Dare taking the stares to the top. Right toward me.

  “They’re just jeans,” Sean scoffed.

  “Don’t be a hater. Maisy’s still not in your league with or without him in your way.”

  “Wow, thanks for the encouragement, Gen.”

  I watched him approach me with my heart in my throat. He did look good. Tousled hair, designer jeans, and a gray and red Cardinals shirt open to reveal a white undershirt beneath. I could see his abs as the sun shone through the thin material.

  He stopped on the step below us, putting his hands in his pockets. “Can I sit down?”

  “Uh…” I swallowed the pizza in my mouth and then fumbled with my soda. “I think you have to be a little less popular to sit here.”

  Sean laughed. “Yeah, you’re screwing with the natural order of high school. The moon’s going to mess up the gravitational pull on earth and we’re all going to be under water.”

  Dare gave me an annoyed dip of his brows and sat down beside me anyway. He snatched the piece of pizza in my hand and shoved it into his mouth, staring down the amphitheater like a pissed off king. He sat there, his breathing hard, his eyes far away and both present.

  As Genna and Sean argued about what a world under water would look like (mutant sharks or mutant humans,) I pressed my chin to his shoulder and peered at him from under my lashes. “We don’t need to talk about it, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  His shoulders slouched, and he gave me a sideways glance, his eyes dripping with relief. He pressed his forehead to mine. “Thank you,” he whispered, his lips brushing over mine.

  And every wrong thing felt right again.

  Those pictures did that to him, made him pull away.

  Why?

  I kissed him back, the taste and smell of pizza mingling between us and mixing with his cologne. His hand came to tangle in my hair and his tongue was hot and insistent, saying things he wasn’t. I found myself fumbling, trying to keep up, but this kiss wasn’t mine to keep up with. I gave up and let it have me, losing myself to the sweet fire burning on his lips.

  “I’m so sorry,” he breathed against my lips. “I was just… scared. I don’t know what I was doing.”

  That was the second time he’d mentioned being scared. “Of what? I’m not that scary, am I?”

  He clutched my face in his hands and the silver in his eyes glimmered like smooth, sun-warmed metal. It was breathtaking. “I’m not scared. I’m terrified.”

  “Of what?”

  “Losing you, Mel.” His eyes closed like he’d just revealed the hugest most hardest of all truths.

  But it didn’t make sense to me. Not when I was right there in his arms. “You’re not going to lose me.” But I looked down. “What if I’m scared of that, too?”

  His breath left him in a sharp exhale. “Don’t be afraid of losing me. It’s pointless. I’m never going anywhere. If that’s what you want.”

  “Is it what you want?” Why couldn’t I breathe? My head was foggy, and my body needed to breathe, but I didn’t want to make a noise louder than our admissions.

  I didn’t want them to be scared too.

  He smiled simply. “That’s what I want, Tom. Just you. And maybe that other slice of pizza if you’re sharing?” He scooped it up, settling back with a satisfied smirk on his face.

  I gaped at him, and then thought better of pressing him.

  “I thought your mom only worked overtimes on Friday’s?” Sean was saying.

  I peered over my shoulder to see Genna duck her head. “I’m busy, okay? Leave me alone.”

  Sean and I frowned at each other.

  “Tell Rudy I said hi, Genna,” Dare said.

  She slapped her hand to her face. “I hate you, Dare.”

  “Wait.” I laughed humorlessly, in utter disbelief. “What?”

  “Who’s Rudy?” Sean wondered.

  “Power forward for Phoenix High’s basketball team,” Dare supplied casually, licking sauce from his fingertips. “He’s teaching her how to drive.”

  “How long have you known this?” I looked at him.

  “Since last night.”

  “And you didn’t tell me?”

  “I was preoccupied.” He looked away, his jaw ticking.

  “It’s nothing. I owed him for helping him on a test and he begged me to let him repay the favor. I’ve always wanted to drive a fancy car. Over and done.”

  So maybe the brightness to her had nothing to do with the caffeine this morning. Maybe the look Rudy gave me when I left his house had nothing to do with Dare at all either. I studied my friend and felt wonder. And also, a little surprised. “He has a girlfriend,” I stupidly said.

  She looked down at her lap. “I know.”

  I didn’t know what to say, and when she hid her face with her hair, I figured she didn’t want to hear it anyway. I scooted closer to Dare and tried not to stare directly at him.

  “For what it’s worth, I fell asleep thinking about you last night. Mostly because I passed out outside and woke up with a raging morning wood, but partially just because of you.” His crooked smile was aimed at the amphitheater.

  “I’m weirdly flattered,” I teased.

  He laughed, a spark reentering his eyes. “Come with me to the dugout?”

  “Dare, seriously, stop being so romantic.” I gave him a sly smile and then grabbed my backpack, racing down the amphitheater steps before he could answer, with a, “talk to you later, guys,” thrown over my shoulder.

  Behind me, his feet chased me.

 
I liked it when he chased me. The sound of him getting close. The heat of his body as he approached me. Having him behind me felt comforting.

  ***

  “How’s this for romantic?” he breathed onto my lips. We were tangled on the dugout floor, our lips close, our limbs twisted; the swollen just-kissed tenderness on my lips hadn’t had a chance to fade

  I touched his sculpted lips and let out a sigh. I was stuck in the fog, and I was perfectly fine there. “I think I have a rock in my back.”

  He guffawed, throwing his head back and laughing without restraint. I’d never heard him laugh that hard; his Adams apple bobbed. “Does this mean we have to ditch our secret make out spot? I think the bleachers are free in the football field.”

  “Nah. There’s too much trash. There’s enough of that in here.” I ruffled his hair.

  His face became serious. “Did you just call me trash?”

  “The finest trash. Only candy wrappers for you. Oh, and maybe a soda bottle or two.” I giggled when he glared down at me.

  His flushed cheeks and the glimmer of humor shining in his eyes made him look boyish and adorable.

  “If I’m trash, what are you?”

  When I opened my mouth to answer, he put his hand over my mouth.

  “Let me answer this one, Tom. If I’m trash, you’re the one who tossed it. If I’m a candy wrapper, you were the sweet contents. If I’m a soda bottle, you were the one I let have my insides.” He leaned close, his nose touching mine; his eyes were breathtaking. “Don’t let me do that again.”

  “Do what?” I whispered in his arms, trapped.

  “Let me push you away. I always run after you when you push me away. And you just let me push you away. No matter what kind of mood I’m in, shitty or good, I want you there, Mel. Damn, that was worse than being without you.” He ducked his head and buried his face against my neck.

  I felt horrible in seconds. “I thought you wanted me to leave.”

  “I didn’t.”

  I wrapped my arms around him, trying to sift through his logic by comparing it to my own. Did I want him there when I pushed him away? Maybe. I liked that he knew what I wanted even when I didn’t know myself.

  “You don’t get it at all, do you?” His deep voice was muffled against my shoulder. He kissed me there, nipping at my skin.

  Overhead, the late bell rang.

  “Get what?”

  He sighed against me. “Nothing, Mel.” He rose, fluidly rising to his feet and adjusting his pants. Then he held out his hand, and we walked silently to my class. “See you in photography?” he asked, pausing outside my classroom.

  What was going on with him? I bit my lip and nodded, staring up at him pleadingly.

  He smiled, an indulgent warm smile. “You’re so innocent, you know that, Tom? So good. So sweet. So tempting.” His hands settled on my waist and I lifted my chin, so he’d press his lips to mine.

  “Mr. Morre, let Melanie get to class,” Principal Darwin ordered, walking past us and shaking his head.

  Dare winked. “Think about me?”

  He left without waiting for an answer.

  “You wish!” I called out to him in the hall.

  His chuckle sounded in the crowd. “I do, baby. I really do.”

  By the time photography class came, I was ready for the weekend. It was only Tuesday, though, but I kept that detail from myself. Dare was already in his chair, camera in hand. He aimed it at me, the shutter of his camera following my every step.

  I was reminded of the pictures on his locker.

  “Spank bank material. Check.” He set his camera down and grinned when I threw a disgusted glare his way.

  “We’re so far behind.” I took my notebook out, flipping to our introduction. “Let’s work on our three main key points.”

  “Boobs. Boobs. And boobs.” He checked them off with each finger.

  I ignored him, jotting down ideas. “What are the three main key points of our project? Of love?”

  “Boobs.”

  I reigned in my anger. “Grow up, please. Pick up your pencil.” He did. “Put it to the paper.” He did that too. “Now write.”

  He did. I leaned over to read what he had written, and my breath caught.

  Three main key points of love

  Melanie

  Dare

  Us, together

  He gave me a second of eye contact. “Done.”

  He refused to erase it. Even when I begged him to. He had a determined glare in his eyes, and he even went as far as to close his notebook and put it in his backpack. I gave up half-way into class, and in the interest of not failing this project, I spent the rest of the class outlining my main key points.

  Only, I didn’t know what they were.

  What made love what it was?

  Was it possible to condense an emotion that large into three little points?

  And why the heck did Dare seem to have no problem including me in that impossible equation?

  In the end, I picked what I wanted. Right now. From love.

  Three main key points of love

  Dare

  Dare

  Dare

  He was the only aspect of my life that made sense.

  That terrified me at the same time it made me thankful.

  When the bell rang, I quietly closed my notebook, feeling hollow again. I didn’t even know what love was. Had no clue what it even felt like. I loved Sean, but not in the way I should. I loved Genna, and even though my parents were lame and insane, I loved them too.

  All of which were not romantic love. But Mr. Rios never said it had to be romantic love. Dare had made that leap all on his own. He’d created the idea of it in my heart. He continued to cultivate it.

  He stuffed his backpack and closed it, standing up and slinging it over one shoulder. With a look down at me, he quirked a brow. “What are you waiting on?”

  I shook my head and got up. In the hall, I pressed into his side. The halls were crowded. My brain was too. Those were the only excuses I could think of why I wanted to cling to him.

  He draped his arm over my shoulder. “What’s the plan? Is your dad coming to pick you up?”

  I told him about this morning, and he grinned.

  “You need a ride, Tom?”

  I peered up at him, tripping over my feet, okay not being stable. “If you don’t mind?”

  He paused, pulling me to a stop outside on the main school steps. He cradled my face in his hands and stroked his thumbs over my cheeks. “Why would I mind?”

  “You’re a busy boy. Maybe you have something better to do than drive me home.” My hands settled on his waist.

  Humor danced in his eyes. “I’m a busy boy all right.” He leaned close and kissed me with his eyes open. Lust glimmered around his pupil as his soft warm lips brushed over mine. “Let’s hang out,” he murmured, his eyes falling closed. His chocolate lashes met his cheek and he held my face tighter, kissing me long and deep as I dreamed with my eyes open.

  “At your place?” I managed to breathe out, this feeling starting to worm its way into my chest. It was warm and bright, lighting the dark parts of me I didn’t even know that I had. They hurt, those dark parts, and the fact that Dare could make them feel good moved me so profoundly, I felt off-balance. If his arms weren’t around me, I’d fall over.

  His lips snapped closed. “No. Uh, not my place.” He stepped away and ran a hand down his face. When his hand dropped, the concerned flare in his eyes had disappeared back to his earlier heat. “Why don’t we go to yours?”

  “To study?” I said, keeping my face serious.

  He winked at me, slipping his hand around mine, and leading me in the direction of the student parking lot. “Oh, of course. I am a gentleman, you know?”

  I snorted, trying to figure out why the idea of me at his house freaked him out so badly. Was it his mother? Was she worse than he had let on? Worried, I gnawed on my bottom lip. “You’re what I think of when I think of what a gentleman
is.”

  His fingers tightened around mine. The sun glared down on the top of the cars crammed in the student parking lot. Heat radiated from the cracked asphalt. Eyes turned our way, and I felt them following us as we headed toward Dare’s truck. I felt the judgement, the criticism, but most of all, the disbelief. It pissed me off. What was so hard to believe about Dare and I together? I thought so at first, too, but my doubt came from our personalities, not our outsides. Which was what they saw. My baggy jeans and Dare’s track record.

  They didn’t delve below the surface.

  They didn’t get to know me.

  Or Dare.

  They liked the neatly contrived gossip. It was easier for them to judge than to know.

  Knowing would make them feel guilty, because it still wouldn’t change their views. And then the rumors and pain would be their fault.

  Not mine.

  Blame and pointed fingers made more since in our society than compliments and smiles.

  “Ignore them, Mel.” Dare opened his truck door for me, his expression contrite. “The shock’ll wear off, and they’ll go back to thinking I’m a piece of shit, and you’re a boy with an incredible ass. But I’ll be the only person who knows that last part’s actually true.” He tossed me an easy grin, leaning his arm on his door.

  I peered up at him without getting into his truck. “What do you think?”

  “About what?”

  “About us? About the fact that I’m nothing like your ex’s? You’re nothing like who I thought I’d date. What about the judgements we’ve placed on ourselves?”

  His eyes softened and glimmered in the late afternoon sunlight. “You want the truth, Mel?”

  I swallowed hard. “Yes.”

  He came for me and put his hands on either side of my face. He cradled me so gently I didn’t even need to know what he was thinking. I could see it, feel it, and then I got scared because maybe I just wanted him to think that, to feel that, and what would I do if he didn’t feel that way? Since when did I need Darren Morre to like me back?

  “I think us together is the only part of my life that has ever made any sense to me. When we’re together I’m not running, or failing, or screwing up my life. I’m doing everything right. You make me laugh, make me pissed off, you make me smile, and want things I never wanted before, and you make me think I can actually have them. Those things don’t come from clothes or what our peers think of us. They come from right here.” He let go of my face with his right hand and placed it over my heart in the parking lot in front of everyone, but only I could actually hear him.