by S. R. Watson
“Yeah. We’ve decided to keep seeing each other.” She raises an eyebrow and I quickly clarify. “Not like that. Neither of us wants a relationship, but we can admit that we want to fuck each other.”
“This sounds more like him talking, and I haven’t even talked with him much.” She rolls her eyes in exasperation. “You’re going to get your heart broken,” she warns.
“Goddamn, Brooke. This is why I didn’t want to tell you. What’s wrong if I just want some dick? You freaking do it all the time,” I huff.
“Exactly. I do this all the time. I can separate the emotional from just having a good fuck,” she retorts. “Up until a couple of months ago, you wouldn’t even let a man get near your pussy. You don’t have the same experience as me, and you’re damn sure not on his level when it comes to “just fucking.” He’s already changing you and you can’t see it.” I don’t want to hear her confirm the same shit he said. I turn over in the bed, away from her. Thank God I didn’t share the other shit.
“Whatever,” I mumble. “You don’t have to worry about it. I’m seeing him Wednesday and I’m going to fuck his brains out.” She laughs at this and pulls my shoulder until I’m looking at her.
“I think you have that one backwards. You will be the one getting fucked.” I try to turn back over, but she straddles me. “Don’t be mad, Lourdes. I will support your decision. If you want to play in the big leagues, then do it. I will be here to support you, no matter what.” I stare up at her and see the sincerity in her eyes. What she is really saying is, she thinks I’m going to get hurt, but she’ll be around to pick up the pieces. She doesn’t have the whole picture and her reaction is exactly why I can’t tell her.
“I know. I’m a big girl, okay? I don’t want you to keep seeing me as this fragile person you need to shelter. I don’t want to be that girl anymore. Don’t make me.”
“Okay, babe. I’m here.” She leans down and gives me the biggest hug. I’m still not going to tell her everything, but this is a start.
“Mhmm.” She pulls the cover back and holds it tight to her chest. “Come on. Let’s go get breakfast. We need a game plan for Wednesday.”
“Oh Jesus,” I gripe.
“No, Oh Jesus. We need you to be ready. You need a Brazilian wax, so your friend downstairs will be ready.” So it seems my pussy has yet another name—comical. I’m not opposed I guess.
“I don’t want to make a big deal out of this.”
“Too late,” she sings. “You need sexier panties and bras, at least. Give him the package. Make it fun for him to unwrap. I think lingerie is kind of like its own form of foreplay—something to look forward to. After you’re waxed to perfection, we need to get you some sexy black lace. It will look great against your skin.”
“Brooke,” I chastise. She is already getting carried away. Who the hell does she think is going to pay for all of this?
“What? You want to play in the big leagues, right? You can’t show up still wearing Hello Kitty on your panties. That’s not hot. A bit pedophile, but not hot,” she laughs. She needs to stay the hell out of my underwear drawer. I only have one pair of Hello Kitty panties. They’re mostly what I call cotton full backs in my drawer. I call them that because the cover everything, but they’re comfy.
I’m not completely out of touch with what it means to be sexy. I do own a couple of sexy pairs of lace panties. That is what I wore the last two times I hooked up with Diesel. On second thought, it may be smart to purchase a few more. I don’t want him to think those are the only two that I own, even though that is the case.
“We can go shopping Tuesday and do that Brazillian wax thing,” I suggest.
“Waxing tomorrow and shopping on Tuesday. This will give you a chance to acclimate to the waxing and deal with any redness before you see Diesel,” she corrects. Gah, this already sounds like too much. I hope he appreciates all of this.
“Fine.” I get up finally to search for something to put on. “Let’s get breakfast, so I can probe your sex life now,” I chide. If we talk about her it will take the focus off of me. I don’t want to work myself into a ball of nerves before the time even comes. I prefer to fantasize about what is to come when I’m alone. If that orgasm he brought me to last night, without even being here is any indication, I’m ready. A shy hot mess, but ready. I couldn’t be anymore of a contradiction of feelings right now. I want it, but I’m slightly nervous about the how and what of it all. I’ve seen a glimpse of a different Diesel when he slips into control mode—I can’t explain it. It’s like it’s him, but not. I let Brooke’s voice fade to the background as she starts talking again about her hook up last night.
I watch as she looks around the suite, trying desperately to hide her nerves. She mentions how nice it is, but it is the least of my focus. She’s worn another fitted dress, which is so out of touch with who she is. I wouldn’t care of she was wearing a potato sack, but we’ll work on that. Right now my dick strains against the tightness of my jeans. I watch her delectable ass it nearly swallows the hemline of her dress. She has to tug on it, every few seconds, to encourage it not to ride up. I walk over and find the control panel imbedded in the wall that generates the music. I press play and Beyonce’s Haunted fills the room. Sexy enough.
“Come here, Lourdes,” I ask firmly, but with finesse. I will need to ease her into my commands. She doesn’t say a word. She comes to me and instinctually looks down. Her shyness shines through like a beacon. “Look at me.” She looks up at me through her eyelashes, and her innocence, to all of this, tugs at my heart. I’m going to strip that all away. I’m a selfish bastard. I shouldn’t want to taint her with my darkness, but it is beyond my control. I haven’t wanted anything as much as I want this in a long time.
“Yes,” she says simply, as if she is answering so many unasked questions—extinguishing any doubts that remain. She is giving me the green light to proceed.
She looks in the direction of the bedroom and I smile wickedly. How vanilla of her. She is about to get her first lesson. In a split of a second, I grab her and spin her until her back is to the wall behind us. My arms extend to the wall on each side of her head. “I want you to release my dick from my pants and stroke me.” My voice is purposely a little more direct this time. I want to see how she responds. Baby steps. “No hesitation,” I add.
“Okay,” she whispers. She slowly unbuttons my jeans with trembling fingers. She reaches in and finds that I’m commando and hard as fuck already. She releases me and my dick juts toward my navel. She takes me in her hand and strokes me as I have instructed. A bead of wetness forms at the tip of my dick. She doesn’t stop her long, slow strokes. She just uses it to lubricate me well. I let her play until her hooded eyes give away her readiness. I grab the hemline of her dress, that she had been toying with, and raise it above the curve of her ass.
“I didn’t tell you stop,” I chastise, as she pauses to see what I’m going to do next. I wait until she continues her strokes before I slip a finger into her black lace thong. It’s quite sexy. Too bad it’s a waste. I soak my finger in her juices as I add a second finger to glide through her wetness. “So slick,” I observe.
My fingering has her so distracted, kind of the point though. I get a grip on the thin piece of fabric and with one rip; it is snatched away from her body. Her eyes widen in surprise. She opens her mouth to protest, but I silence her with the same finger that was just wreaking havoc on her pussy.
“Shhhhhh, princess.” I rub the wetness across her lips. “Open.” She complies and I insert my fingers into her mouth, so she can see how good she tastes. Her eyes look upward in confusion and thought. I can tell that she is processing my commands and is still in her own head. That just won’t do. I need her in subspace. She licks my fingers, one at a time, and it is so erotic. I use my other hand to keep fingering her until that telltale sign of her shaking legs lets me know that she is close to an orgasm. She is so fucking responsive. I can feel my dick hardening even more in her petite hands. She
is barely stroking me now, as her own impending orgasm rocks her body. I remove my fingers from her soaking pussy to give her the first lesson of edging—orgasm denial at it’s finest.
“Dieeeeeesssel,” she whines around my fingers. “Please.” I smack her ass, but not enough to cause her pain—simply to get her attention. I remove my fingers from her mouth and lift one of her legs to wrap around my hip.
She immediately inserts my dick where she so desperately needs me. I let her for now. I pacify her with a few generous strokes, but just short enough to prohibit the pinnacle she is trying to reach. Her ass wiggles as she tries to top, but I control the tempo with a simple angling of my hips against her. I gently caress her neck.
“Remember you can say no at anytime. You can tell me to stop.” She nods her head to let me know that she remembers. “I want try breath play with you.”
“Breath what?” I explain that it is a form of choking, but the whole point is to deny her air for periods to enhance the orgasm. It can be scary, even when you know it’s coming. I don’t know how she will react to it. “Just let me show you. Stop me if it’s too much. You can just tap my arm and I will stop immediately. Okay?”
“Okay.” She wiggles her ass again as she tries to pull me closer to her. My caress of her neck transitions to me wrapping my hand around her neck, as I gradually increase the intensity of my strokes. I tighten my grip as she begins to fuck me back. I watch the initial shock fade from her face, as I loosen my grip to allow her to breathe again. I set a varying tempo, slowly denying her breath as I pound into her. I know the moment she enters subspace.
She closes her eyes and her entire body relaxes in my arms. It’s so fucking beautiful. I have to be careful for the both of us—for her safety. I’m careful not to suppress her breath too long that she slips into unconsciousness. I only want her in a state of euphoria. Her life is literally in my hands and the control empowers me. Addicting.
“Feel me, Lourdes. Feel your life in my hands.” With each thrust into her warm, inviting pussy, it gets harder to deny my own orgasm. Breath play is more enjoyable than I could have possibly imagined. I haven’t done this to anyone else, besides Melissa-my last serious relationship. My balls slap against her ass as I drive into her. Her pussy clenches around me and I’m right there with her. I apply pressure to her neck as we both ride out the best fucking nut ever. I release her neck and she falls limp in my arms, completely spent.
“That was. That was.” She can’t even finish her sentence. She just clings to me. I know she needs what is formally called aftercare: basically, me to comfort her until she comes down from the high. I sweep her up in my arms and walk her to the bedroom. I had so much more planned for her, but it will have to wait a bit. I anticipated the possibility that she would drop this deep just because she hadn’t experienced this level of pleasure before. It’s a dump of endorphins by the body that causes a feeling similar to intoxication.
It would be unsafe to continue another scene with her since her decision-making ability to protest has been compromised. I lay her on the bed while I get her a glass of water. When I return she is just lying there, curled up with a lazy grin on her face. I crawl up behind her and sit her up so she can take a few sips. After I’m satisfied that she is hydrated, I pull her in my arms and just hold her. I don’t cuddle, but this is what she needs right now: to feel safe. Eventually her heart rate slows and her breathing evens out. Once she falls into a slumber, I feel comfortable enough to join her. I never let her go. Instead, I fall asleep with the woman who has given me the most beautiful gift—her submission.
I awake to strong muscular arms wrapped around my waist. I’m disoriented for a second, but then I remember I here with Diesel. I’m not sure how much time has passed, but I know that I’ve been fucked well. Some parts are a blur, but I remember being frightened and a suffocating sensation before an intense feeling of pleasure took over my body. It’s indescribable other than I felt like I was floating. My pussy is delectably sore from the punishment she took, but it is the good kind of sore. Diesel is an enigma. I wouldn’t have guessed he was capable of any of this, just to look at him.
I mean, who would have thought that this sexy guy, who doesn’t look like your typical rocker to begin with, had so many layers? To know that although he could be considered a manwhore, this is a side of himself that he keeps reserved. I got to see the part of him that he rarely shows to anyone. I’m feeling pretty damn special at the moment, as I bask in the afterglow of the start of something great.
“Hmmm, you’re awake,” Diesel says groggily. I can feel his muscular chest against my back. Oddly I’m naked, but he is still in his jeans. “How are you feeling?”
“More than great, I’d say.” There is just enough sunlight shinning through the crack in the blackout drapes that I can see him smiling with pride. “Why am I the only one naked, though?”
“It was for your benefit. You needed to be comfortable, but you also needed to rest after our breath play scene. Had I gotten naked with you, I can’t say that I would not have rolled you over during the night and slid into you. Your pussy chips away at my self-control.” All I heard through all that is I needed to rest.
“So we stopped because of me?” So much for handling the big leagues, as Brooke would put it.
“No worries, Lourdes. It was to be expected. I wouldn’t be worth my salt if I didn’t anticipate your reaction, especially with it being your first time.”
Diesel explains to me what subspace means and the importance of aftercare. It was important for him not to push, because me being under the influence of heightened euphoria wouldn’t be conducive to further play. I couldn’t properly consent to the pleasure he wanted to inflict on my body.
“Well, we can continue now,” I offer embarrassingly.
“Maybe. First let’s run you a bath.” He gets up out of the bed and opens the curtains fully, to let the natural sunlight in. The muscles in his back, coupled with his jeans sitting low on his hips, are hot as hell. His bare feet though is everything. I’m not really into feet, but there is just something about a man wearing nothing but jeans and exposed bare feet—kind of primal. It’s sexy. I’m getting worked up just watching him move about the room. It’s unfair for someone to be that hot and gorgeous without doing anything—just normal shit. I want to fuck him right now. He makes me crazy with lust, yet I can’t just blurt it out what I want. He walks past me into the bathroom. Seconds later, I hear water running. I pull the covers back and decide to join him. First I have to slip my dress on, which is lying on the floor. I’m not that confident to walk around naked. “You could have stayed in bed until your water was ready,” he mentions.
“It’s okay. I’m up now.” Truth is, I feel a need to be near him. His natural scent is intoxicating. I know I don’t have long with him, as we’ll be checking out of the hotel in a few hours. I want to make the most of our time.
“You can get in now,” he says, as he turns off the water.
“Uh, okay.” He is different this morning. It’s crazy, but I want domineering Diesel back. He says and I do. No time to be in my own head and create self-doubts. How do I tell him what I want? It’s like my body knows how much I want the dick, but I’m afraid to speak the words. Fear of rejection paralyzes the words on my tongue. His maybe response in the bedroom, to my hint at continuing where we left off, doesn’t do anything for my confidence. Hell, I don’t even want to get nude in order to get in the tub while he is still standing here. The bright light of this bathroom negates any place to hide. He would see everything.
“You’re doing it again, Lourdes,” he observes. Only I don’t know what he is getting at.
“Doing what?” I know he is about to call me out on something.
“Overthinking. Hiding. You pick.” He stares through me and I can’t keep his gaze. He has me pegged.
“I’m—” I’m about to deny his accusations, but he shushes me.
“Shhhh,” he says bringing a lone finger to his l
ips. I remember that same finger pressed against my lips after it had stroked me and soaked me. “I can see it your eyes. Your face is very telling. It gives away what you’re feeling.” He stands up from the edge of the tub and walks over to me. He pulls down the dress I just put back on. He inches it down to expose my breasts first, perusing the hardening of my nipples.
“Let me help you,” he offers. He pulls my dress the rest of the way down and lets it fall to my ankles. I’m completely naked and I struggle not to cover myself with my hands. “Good girl,” he praises. “Now undress me.” Holy shit. His dom voice is back. I unbutton his jeans and pull them down his legs until he steps out of them. He stands there proud with his dick at attention. It is pink perfection—so pretty.
“Gorgeous,” I say, immediately realizing my inner thoughts have manifested into speech.
“Why, thank you. He likes you, too.” He winks. He walks around me and steps in the tub. “Join me, Lourdes.” I step into the tub and I’m guided to straddle him. He rubs his self against me and I already feel I’m teetering on the edge. His cock is hard and waiting for me. I slide down on it to the hilt. I begin to rock on it. But my motions are halted.
“What’s wrong?” I question.
“I say when, princess.” My control freak is back…okay maybe he never left. “What are the magic words?” he teases.
“Please, Sir,” I say mockingly as I roll my eyes. What does he want me to say? He’s me made me horny and I want to fuck. I’m caught off guard by what happens next. He lifts me up off of his dick and stands. He exits the tub quite pissed with me. His jaw tightens and nostrils flare. What the? I don’t understand.
