by Emma Nichols
I tried not to choke on my wine. “First of all, Mandy, I am standing right here so you can talk to me directly, not about me. Second, that was ten years ago. We’re all different people now.”
Mandy looked at me hard. “I was just over there talking to Mike Burns. He played me a song in armpit farts. We are not all different people.”
“We three standing here are,” Jordan interjected. “We’re all adults, and no one is going to run away or get spooked, and certainly not by me.”
“Good,” said Mandy, “because I need to duck out and call Jack. You two behave but not too much. You are here to have fun.”
“Thanks for the reminder,” Jordan said to her back. “Was she always this bossy?”
“Yes,” I replied. “Always. It was part of her charm.”
“I don’t think that was it for me,” he teased.
“Well, it was part of it for me. Although another part was all the perky blondness and a friend who got me up and dressed and off to class on time when I needed the push.”
“You don’t need that now.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I still sleep late, wait until deadline, and am reluctant to join society most days.” That was probably over-sharing, but the wine was loosening my lips and he’d always been easy to talk to.
“Lucky you. I’m up at the gym as the sun rises, in the studio by eight, and spend half my life making small talk with celebrities.” He sighed.
“And you love it.” I’d watched him on red carpets doing interviews. He liked it because he liked people. It was probably what made him good at it.
“Yeah I do. I didn’t expect to be standing here at this reunion as a TV reporter. I really did think I was heading to Silicon Valley.”
“So what happened?”
“You,” he said, his voice low and serious.
Another wine-choking moment. “Me?”
“Yeah. Before you stopped talking to me, you asked me a few questions about my career path that got me thinking. Did I really want to spend all day at a desk? How would that work for a people person like me? I thought about it over the summer and when I got to college, I changed my major.”
“Wow, that’s…surprising.” Half the time when we talked, I’d have sworn he wasn’t listening.
“You made a lot of sense. Why is that surprising, Scoop?”
“Because I’m not really the sort of person one takes life advice from. In fact, I would strenuously recommend no one do it. Ever.”
Heck my own life was a hot mess. Sure my career was going well enough, but only because I had found a niche that I could work in from home. The rest of my life was on hold. I had mild agoraphobia, I hadn’t been on a date in four years, and this week’s trip to get my hair done had been the first in almost as long. I didn’t travel. I barely entertained, and all of my social contact took place over the internet. The only advice people should take from me would be to see what Sage did and do the opposite.
“I’m sure lots of people value your advice.”
I don’t know who Jordan thought I was, but his image of me was way off base. Lucky for me, Penny came up to ask him about his recent interview with Julia Roberts and gave me a chance to slip away. It wasn’t because he spooked me either. I needed to look for Rachel, that’s what it was.
2
I turned up the incline on the treadmill and ran. I’d considered running around the town, but the Hilton had a sweet gym, and it was cool out. A decade on the West Coast had made me soft.
Last night I’d lost Sage, but maybe that was for the best. I didn’t want to come on too strong, and, as Mandy suggested, spook her. Still, I needed intel, and from talking to people at the reunion, I’d learned the only person who had actually stayed in touch with my girl was Mandy. I was meeting her for breakfast in the hotel shortly to see what I could find out. People might read into it one of us was still carrying a torch for the other, but I doubted it. She was ridiculously over the top with her wedding planning.
I showered and changed into jeans and a basic white t-shirt. I grabbed my bag for the pool party later and headed down to hit the buffet.
Mandy was ready and waiting at a table by an arched window.
“This is so fun. Imagine how excited we’d have been to escape the hideous St Martin's food for a breakfast buffet.”
“They have real fruit,” I said in a voice filled with amazement.
“Who knew they had such a thing in Pennsylvania?”
“Not the catering crew at St Martins. They thought it only came in tins.”
We laughed. She was still beautiful and kind, and I felt nothing for her beyond a sense of nostalgia.
“So, you like Sage,” she blurted.
“I never said that.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to. You guys always had banter. She’s not an easy person to get chatting. And she’s smart and gorgeous…”
“I like Sage.” I might as well admit it.
“Did you back then?”
The million dollar question. “Kind of. I was a teenage boy. I liked most girls, but, yeah, there was something.”
“She’s…special.” Mandy struggled to find the words to describe Sage.
“Can she fly?” I teased.
“You know what she’s been through. She’s struggling now to move on, to have a grown up life, and not be scared. She doesn’t trust people easily.” She sipped her coffee.
“That makes sense,” I said sipping my own.
“So you have to earn her trust. If it’s just a game to you, don’t even bother, Jordan, just walk away and find some LA bimbo. It’s taken me months to convince her to come to this reunion.” She gave me the hairy eyeball over her cup. “I love you, you know that, always and forever, but you are Mister Easy and she’s not like that. If you want her, go for it. I like the idea of you two together. But if she’s not your end game, keep walking.”
“Because you will crush me.” It was a statement not a question.
“You know it.” Then she pushed her chair back and stood. “Now come on. I need French toast and lots of it.”
“You know we’re going to the pool later, right?”
“Please. I saw the other girls last night. I still look fine. You’re so LA.”
I laughed as I followed her to the buffet. She was right about that.
* * *
I’m not a fan of pools. Or swimsuits or country clubs. If Mandy hadn’t come knocking on my door, the laptop and I would have remained holed up in our hotel room enjoying the expensive sheets and room service.
“Get dressed,” she commanded as she entered. Her blonde hair was held back by dark sunglasses and she wore a beach cover-up the color of sunshine with her bikini top peeking out. “We’re doing this.”
I rolled my eyes at her but headed to the closet for my swimsuit, capris and tank top. I was not a sunshine and bikini kind of a girl. I took my clothes to the bathroom to change while she made herself comfortable on the edge of my bed. I left the door ajar so we could talk.
“You know the event isn’t until two p.m.”
“We’re going to take in the town, make the most of the day. So are you dating anyone?’ she asked.
“You know I’m not. Not since Ron.” Ron had worked on my podcast for a while. Then he moved on to Newsweek and on from me.
“Time to get back in the saddle then.”
“Giddy up.” I faked a little horse-ride and swung my imaginary lasso over my head as I came out of the bathroom. “Seriously, I’m out of the apartment. I’m at the reunion. Can we please do this in baby steps.”
“You look nice.” She smiled sweetly.” And no, we cannot do this in baby steps because you are not a baby. You’re a grown-ass woman who is smart, beautiful and amazing but missing out on life. I for one am sick of it.”
I was kind of sick of it myself but still… “Is this tough love Mandy?”
“It’s just love,” she said linking her arm through mine. “I miss you. I want you to
be happy. Thinking about you all alone sometimes just breaks my heart. Now, enough of that. Let’s go drink cocktails and enjoy some sunshine.”
She was a good friend, which made the fact I’d kissed her boyfriend at prom even worse.
* * *
Mandy and Sage came out of the lift in the lobby, and I was waiting.
“Ladies. Where are we off too?”
“We’re going to check out the town, properly. We were always locked away back in the day. I want to see if it’s as I remembered it, and also what I missed,” Mandy explained. “You want to come with us?”
Sage didn’t look too thrilled by the invitation, but she said nothing. “Sure. Some of the guys went to play golf but…”
“Too old money for you?” Sage asked.
“Pretty much.” I laughed. “I’m more surfing and gym than golf and lacrosse.”
“You loved lacrosse.” Mandy’s brow furrowed.
“No I played lacrosse. It was part of my effort to fit in.”
“You always fit in,” Sage informed me. “Both of you did.”
“No, we just blended better than some people,” I corrected. “Shall we walk?”
Mandy’s phone rang. It was Jack. I knew it was Jack because she and I set this whole thing up. “Hey, you two go ahead. I’ll catch you at that diner at noon if it’s still there. Otherwise text me.”
“We can wait,” Sage said.
“No it’s wedding stuff.” Enough said.
Sage looked from Mandy to me. She was not thrilled.
“Come on. I promise I’ll play nice.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about.”
Ah, a sign of hope. Be still my heart. I put my hand to the small of her back to guide her out through the main entrance of the Hilton and across the drive. It was the first time I’d touched her and even though it was just her back, and through her clothing, it felt like progress.
“Did she ditch us on purpose?” Sage asked.
“Why would you say that?”
“Lots of coincidences.”
“And you don’t believe in coincidences, Scoop?’
“I’m a journalist. I’m trained not to.”
She had me there. We walked across the car park toward the main street, but she hung a left. ”I’m driving.”
“We can walk.”
“I live in New York. I never get to drive. I’m driving.”
“Okay. If you like driving so much you might want to consider a move to LA. It’s all we do.” She stopped next to a vintage, racing-green MG that was the coolest car I’d ever seen. “This is your car?”
“It was my dad’s. I couldn’t bear to part with it.” She gave a one-shouldered shrug. “It’s not the most practical vehicle on the planet, but, as I said, I don’t drive much.”
I ran my hand over the hood. “She’s beautiful.”
“How do you know it’s a she?”
“Anything this pretty has to be a woman,” I declared.
“Yeah, my dad called her Princess.”
Sage was a woman of mystery that was for sure. She unlocked the car and folded the hood down. I slid into the passenger seat as she started her up. As the engine came to life, a wistful smile settled on her face. I gave her a long look. I had a lot of questions. Why did she still live in New York? What had her father done? What could I do to put a smile on her face? But I didn’t ask any of them. I let the wind brush against my face as this enigma of a woman drove me into town.
I’d expected to still want her, but I hadn’t expected her to be so fascinating. Pretty shallow, but that’s how it was.
“The town looks different to how I remember it,” I said as we turned onto Main Street.
“Probably because it isn’t snowing and cold. Man, this place was freezing.”
“You live in New York.”
“Where I can adjust my own thermostat.”
“Good point. I think it took my about a year to get warm when I moved to LA. For the money our families paid the school, you’d think they could have heated the joint properly.”
“Yeah, my mother went here. She said she was always cold. She made me pack thermals, and I laughed at her. I slept in those thermals for four years.” Her voice was tinged with nostalgia..
“I didn’t know your mother went here.”
“Yeah. She met my dad at Brown. She was a lawyer. He was a lawyer. Nothing as exotic as your folks.”
“My dad was an accountant for about five minutes before he hit the surfing circuit. He hated it.” I wanted to ask about her parents’ case, so I just waded in. “They never did get the killer, huh?”
“No. I’m pretty sure it was one of their clients. I have a short list of five. Two are in jail for other crimes, three are walking free and living large.”
“Does that make you angry?”
“Truthfully, it makes me scared.” I couldn’t help it. I reached out and squeezed her hand. We were stopped at the one set of lights in town in front of a hardware store that looked like no one had changed the window since nineteen sixty-five.
“I’m sorry you’re scared. And I’m glad you came. Mandy said she had to needle you to get here.”
“If by needle you mean harass me every day for a year, then yes she did.”
“Why?”
* * *
Why? Why was he asking me why? I didn’t know how to answer that. Or rather I did, and I didn’t want to. The light turned green, and we headed down Main Street to the lake.
“I guess I didn’t want to come back here.” That was an answer, right?
“But why?”
Apparently he wasn’t going to let this go. I swung into the parking lot and pulled on the brake hard. The lake was in from of us. Down the beach, a large group was setting up, but here it was just us.
“Why do you want to know?”
He brushed a curl over my shoulder so he could see my face better. Then he rested his hand there so that warmth spread all down my arm and across my body. This was not good. It felt good but it wasn’t good. We couldn’t be together because it was well, crazy. Apparently my body reacted to him now exactly as it always had. My body wanted him. Luckily my brain was usually in charge. Usually.
“Because I care about you. I’ve always cared about you.”
I had to admit that was probably true. When I looked back on my less than stellar high school years, Jordan had never been anything but kind to me. Whether we were working on a group project, in the dining hall, or I was writing for the paper, he’d always been helpful. The other guys had ignored me. I was an object of curiosity because my parents had been killed, but as a member of the opposite sex I’d been invisible to them. Jordan had never treated me as either curious or invisible.
I looked into his way too attractive face as his big blue eyes searched my own for answers.
“There were a lot of reasons.”
“Such as?” He was relentless. Maybe he was a better journalist than I gave him credit for.
“The short list? One I don’t like going out. I have mild agoraphobia. Two, my memories of school are a combination of hazy and kind of crappy so why revisit, and three…” I bit my lip and hesitated. Why was I even thinking about saying this out loud to him of all people?
“Number three…Is number three maybe sitting here by the lake in a vintage sports car with you?” he asked in a gentle voice. I gave a nod. “You didn’t want to see me.”
“I did and I didn’t.” That was the truth. I didn’t because who makes out with their only decent friend’s boyfriend at prom? Yeah me, so I didn’t need to revisit that. I did because that kiss had played over and over in my mind for a decade and I wanted to revisit it a little too much.
“Well, for the record you are the reason I came to the reunion.” I felt my brow crease in confusion, and he leaned over and used his thumb to rub it away. “No need to frown, Scoop. I wanted to see you again. I missed you when you stopped talking to me. I felt bad about it. I thought I’d stop
missing you but I never did. So here I am.”
“By a lake in a vintage sports car with me.”
“Exactly.” And then he leaned in and brushed his perfect lips against mine, and my body was in charge once again.
* * *
She tasted like vanilla when I kissed her, vanilla and magic when I swept my tongue across her lips and she opened and let me in. I moved my hand from her forehead back to hold her head in place, so I could deepen the kiss. I couldn’t get my body closer in this tiny car with it’s annoying, hard, stick shift in the way. When Sage let a small moan escape, I felt my own stick harden. I loved that sound, and I loved that I was the one who made it happen.
Her hands curled in the front of my shirt as our tongues danced. This was as good, hell, better, than I remembered it.
And then as if the universe knew Sage was better than I deserved, her phone rang.
“Mandy,” I said against her mouth. I didn’t need to check the phone to know who it would be.
She pulled back abruptly as if caught in the act of doing something bad. “Shit.”
She grabbed the phone and swiped. “Hey, sure. See you in five. The Lake. The water looks great. Okay.”
“Hey.” I turned her head back to face me but her eyes were downcast, like she was ashamed.
“We have to go.”
“Just wait.” My hand was on her arm.
“We need to go, now.” Her voice rose.
“Sage, look at me.” She looked at me from beneath her dark lashes. Wary. “That was amazing.”
“That was wrong.”
“No, it wasn’t. It really wasn’t. Mandy and I are friends. You and Mandy are friends. Mandy is happily engaged to Jack. What we do now has no impact on her happiness.”
“But back then…”
“Back then I should have broken up with her before I kissed you. You’re right Sage, absolutely right. And I wanted to, but dumping her before prom would have been mean, and you still wouldn’t have gone with me.” Maybe my apology would go some way toward putting the past behind us. I hoped so because if that kiss was anything to go by, I wanted to do a whole lot more than kiss this woman.
