by Emma Nichols
“As bad as the first time we kissed,” I admitted.
“What happened between you two anyway?” Jamie asked. “I thought for sure you two were going to go the distance. You know—college, career, kids. But when I never got an invite to any wedding, I figured something must have happened.”
“You know how it goes,” I said, trying to avoid all the gritty details. I didn’t need that playing in my head when I spoke to Maddison again. “Life just got in the way.”
We talked some more about the things they’d been doing since school ended and we all expressed our guilt over letting the years pass without enough contact. The conversation moved on to Jamie’s time with his new band. Before long, our conversation turned to gossip over who was staying in their parents’ houses for the weekend, and who—like me—was staying in the hotel. It was a pleasant surprise to learn Jamie was in the room across the hall from mine.
An hour later, I’d done the rounds and said a quick hello to everyone. I was itching to ask Maddison whether she was willing to go back to my hotel room. Before I could though, I lost sight of her.
Was she going to play hard to get?
My blood froze as I considered the possibility she might have left without letting me know. Maybe she’d changed her mind—or at least made it up in a way that meant we wouldn’t have any alone time.
I moved through the room again, greeting people as I went but keeping my eyes peeled for the one I most wanted to see. In the tight red dress she’d been wearing she wasn’t exactly easy to miss.
I’d almost given up and was ready to go back to my hotel room alone when she appeared at my side. “I was thinking about your proposal,” she said, running her hand over her purse—where my hotel card sat.
“And?”
“And . . . I was wondering if you wanted to drive to the woods near the school campus. For old time’s sake, you know. We can talk some more there.”
I couldn’t agree fast enough. Nothing could stop me from enjoying every second I could with her.
Maddison giggled as I led her from the car and through the woods.
“God, do you remember the fun we used to have in here?” She pressed her hand against my back to steady herself as the ground grew uneven.
“Some of the best nights of my life were had under this canopy.” Years ago, the same path we were now treading had been our route. We’d taken it so often when we were kids, sneaking past those students who’d come down to drink and smoke. We wouldn’t stop until we were as deep into the woods as we could go without starting to head back out the other side.
“Is that right? What would your wife think to hear you talk like that?”
“I think she’d understand. She has her own history, after all.”
“Like what exactly?”
“Do you really want to know about my wife?”
“Well, she must be pretty special to not care about this . . . whatever this is supposed to be.”
I spun around and took her in my arms. “She’s damn special, but I really don’t want to talk about her right now. I want to talk about us.” I cupped her cheek. “Or not talk as the case may be.”
Her breath caught in her throat as she rested her hand on mine. “I would definitely like to not talk with you now. We just need to go a little deeper first.”
“That’s what she said.” I laughed as I revisited one of our favorite jokes from high school. I turned back onto the trail and helped her on.
“Good to see you’re as mature as ever.” Even though I couldn’t see her face in that moment, I was certain she’d rolled her eyes. “Here I thought we were having an actual adult conversation.”
“Where’s the fun in adult conversations? From my experience, they just lead to pain.”
“I guess you’re right.”
After we’d walked to our old spot, I spun and captured her in my arms. “Do you remember the first time we came down here?”
A dreamy look overtook her features. “Our first time. You were so sweet.” She retreated. “Too bad it was all downhill from there.”
I followed her movement. “We had some good times.”
She took another step back, and a sorrowful grin crossed her lips. “And some bad ones. Remember some of the fights we’ve had?”
“Remember the make-up sex?”
A cute laugh left her.
“I missed that,” I admitted. “It’s been so long.”
“Too long,” she agreed before dragging me closer to her. She continued her trajectory until her back was pressed against a tree.
Using the trunk as support, I leaned against her and touched my lips to hers. The instant we connected, it was as if we’d spontaneously combusted with need for one another. Every thought and desire that had been building since I’d learned about the weekend burst from me in a rush and I couldn’t hold her tight enough. She shoved my jacket off my shoulders before setting to work on my tie.
I didn’t stay still either. My heart pounded as I slipped my hand underneath her dress, riding it higher up her thigh.
“Ow! Ow! Ow!” Maddison shoved me off her and turned her attention behind her. When she did, she tugged her dress back down.
My heart sank as I figured she was getting ready to back away and leave. I needed her too much to let her go without a fight, but I wouldn’t force her to stay against her will.
“That tree is a lot more uncomfortable than I remember it being. It feels like it’s cutting my back to ribbons.”
“Let’s try this instead . . .” Trying to keep the moment going because I didn’t want to stop, I laid my jacket on the ground and guided her on top of the material. I followed her down, kissing her neck and leaning on top of her.
“Stop,” she muttered almost as soon as her back touched the ground.
Although I was reluctant, I slowed and moved away just a little without giving up entirely. We only had forty-eight hours together before we both had to go back to our real lives.
Maybe I was expecting too much, but I needed to recapture at least some of our spark. I needed to prove that I wasn’t a failure or the easily-cheated-on loser my wife seemed to believe I’d become.
“Zach, stop.” She giggled as she pushed me off. “Now I’ve got rocks poking into my back.”
I sighed. I should’ve known better than to think winning her over would be as easy as revisiting our old rendezvous spots. “Do you remember what it used to be like?” I asked as I sat on the ground to give her as much space as she needed. “Coming down here and just getting lost in each other.”
Her gaze trailed around the trees, as though our story was printed on the leaves. “We did get carried away.”
“It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve felt so carefree.”
“Yeah.” She’d found a stick while I was talking and then used it to draw patterns in the dirt in front of her. “I know the feeling.”
“Let me carry you away again. Please?”
She dragged the stick through the dirt. No doubt, it was a distraction. It seemed she‘d rather do anything than look at me. “I guess I’m just not the same lovesick teen I was. Too much time has passed. Too much life.”
I leaned over and stilled the stick she traced through the dirt. “Please don’t tell me the weekend is over already?”
With a sigh, she brushed off her hands before cupping my face. It was enough to send a shiver of pleasure down my spine. God, I’d missed her touch. I’d barely understood how much until we’d stood side by side on the deck earlier.
“No. I’m not saying that,” she said. “You went to the trouble of trying to arrange this catch up and I really do want to talk. I think there’s a lot we need to say to each other.”
“So you don’t want to stay here?”
She shook her head.
“But you don’t want to end things?”
With a growing smile, she shook her head again.
“So what do you want to do?”
“Take me back to
that fancy suite you booked. I’m sure the bed there has no rocks.”
“No bark either,” I agreed.
“But it does have pillows?” She kissed me after she’d finished the question.
“And blankets,” I murmured as her lips lifted off mine.
“A shower,” she added.
“A Jacuzzi tub.”
“A Jacuzzi?” Her grin grew wider. “What on God’s green earth are we doing out in these woods if your room has a Jacuzzi?”
“You’re right.” I pushed myself up to my feet and offered her my hand. Once we were both standing, I bent down and grabbed my jacket before placing it over her shoulders. “Let’s get out of here.”
We’d only just made our way to the edge of the forest when bright streams of light flicked through the tree.
Flashlights.
Memories of the security guards that patrolled the area rushed through me. Some of them had been cool, letting us sneak past in exchange for a cigarette or two. Others though, they weren’t so amenable. It was impossible to know whether any of the guards would look the other way for trespassing alumni.
“Shit, it’s the man!” I whispered to Maddison before chuckling. “We better run.”
She shushed me as she ran as fast as she could in her heels.
“Do you remember that time we were caught by security?” I added as I matched her stride.
“Shh, or we’ll get caught again. And this time will be worse because we’re trespassing on top of being outside of the school campus.”
“Doesn’t the outside of the school campus thing cancel out the trespassing thing?” I teased. “After all, you can hardly get in trouble for trespassing in the school if ‘the woods aren’t school property.’”
“You think you’re funny, don’t you?” She asked the question through clenched teeth.
I held her hand tighter and dragged her away from a second flashlight. “I think I’m hilarious.”
“Well, Mr. Comedy. Somehow I don’t think your wife will be happy if she has to bail you out.”
I considered her words. “You’re probably right about that.”
“I know I’m right about that. I’m—” She stopped when I glanced over at her. “I’m a woman, after all. One who had to put up with you for long enough.”
With a grin, I indicated toward the flashlights. “There’s only two of them. One’s over there, the other’s over there”—I pointed out the two guards as I spoke—”so let’s make a break for it while we can. In three. Two. Go!”
We rushed through the gap between the two security guards and ran back to my rental car as fast as we could. When we reached the car, I burst out laughing. “Well, that’s one way to capture nostalgia.”
“Sure.” She glanced back over her shoulder before opening the door. “It would’ve been really nostalgic to be back in the Dean’s office again.”
“I’m sure there’s a new Dean by now.” I slid behind the wheel.
“Maybe.”
“We could always go back and get an escort to find out if you’d like? I’m sure either one of those guards would be willing to help us.”
She punched my shoulder playfully. “I think I’ll survive not knowing.”
I started the car and then slid my hand onto her knee. “Hotel?”
Her breathing shortened and she rested her hand over mine. “Hotel.”
Although it meant moving my hand away from her, I rushed to put the car in gear.
My God, I had missed this so much.
The short drive was charged. She kept glancing in my direction before darting her eyes away as soon as I turned even the slightest way toward her. Worse than that, her breath was short and spoke of her need. Then there was the way she wiggled in her seat.
I wanted to ask what thoughts were making her squirm that way but figured if she gave voice to a single one we wouldn’t make it to the hotel. I’d have to pull the car over and demand a demonstration.
Instead, I decided to tease her a little. Whenever I didn’t need my hand to shift the stick, I rested it on her thigh. Each time I did, my fingers trailed a little higher.
By the time I pulled up at the hotel, my pinky grazed against her pussy. She pushed her hips forward. I was certain she was trying to be discreet about the action, but there was a definite increase in pressure against my hand.
“Are you sure you want this?” I asked, needing to be certain that we were on the same page.
Her answer was to lean across the car and press her lips to mine with a genuine hunger.
“I’ll take that as a yes. Let’s go check out the hot tub.”
A shaky breath left her. “Let’s.”
“But first.” I drew her closer to me again and kissed her hard.
“Room. Now.” She murmured as soon as we broke apart for air.
She didn’t have to ask again. I grabbed the key from the ignition and rounded the car to open the door for her. Once she was beside me, I wrapped my hand around hers. It was comforting.
Familiar.
Welcoming.
“How did I ever let this slip away?” I asked, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
“I guess it’s like you said; life gets in the way.”
“Maybe. Can we not let it get in the way this weekend?”
“I can’t make any promises,” she said.
I frowned.
“But I’ll try.” She brushed her fingertips over my dipped brows as she reassured me.
“That’s the best I can ask for. And it’s probably more than I deserve.”
“It’s definitely more than you deserve—” She cut off as she stared at me. “But it’s probably the least I owe you. I’m willing to talk. Maybe we can work out where it all went wrong.”
Once we were safe in the room together, I drew her closer to me before brushing my thumb over her cheek. “I love you, Maddy. You know that, don’t you? I always have, despite anything I’ve done or said that might make you think otherwise.”
She gave me a sad smile. “I thought we weren’t doing that this weekend?”
My stomach twisted as I recalled my original request. “I know. I just wanted to tell you that. I wanted you to know before this all goes back to normal.”
Her brow dipped, and she stepped away from me. I let her go because she was right. There was history between us that we’d agreed to ignore. At least for the weekend.
A pensive look crossed her face before she spun away from me and wandered aimlessly around the hotel room. “I don’t think I’ve told you yet, but I was really surprised when you emailed me about this weekend.”
“Was it really such a surprise? You had to have known how much I loved our time together while we were stuck in this place. How much I miss this part of my life.”
She glanced over her shoulder. “I didn’t know. So much has been lost to time.”
“Back then, I thought I could rule the world if only I tried hard enough.”
“I'm sure you rule someone’s world, even if it’s not in the ways you wanted to.” Her expression softened, and she fell back into step. “Your wife’s maybe?”
“I doubt it,” I murmured as my stomach twisted again. Now would certainly not be the time to raise the issues we’d had. “It's hard to tell sometimes. We're both so busy, and I can’t help feeling like I fail far more than I succeed.”
“So, you’re saying you don’t think your life is perfect?”
Unable to deny it or lie, I offered her a half-shrug. “Whose is? Does anyone ever look at themselves when they close in on thirty and believe they did everything right?”
“I'm sure some people do. Jamie probably does.”
I winced as her words hit their mark. How was I supposed to compete with that? People had always said I was the more talented of the two of us, and yet he’d been the one to make a name for himself. He’d had the career in music I’d always dreamed of. Rather than dwelling on it and letting the hurt take over, I turned it back around on her. “Do y
ou?”
Our gazes locked for a moment. “There are some things I've done that I’m incredibly proud of.” She sighed and turned away again. “Others, not so much.”
While she resumed her lazy tour around the hotel room, I pulled out my phone—already synced to the Bluetooth speaker in the room—and pressed play on a playlist I'd made for the weekend.
“Do you remember this?” I asked as I made my way to her side and offered her my hand for a dance.
“How could I forget?” She slipped her hand against mine. “It’s one of the songs you wrote for me.”
“Do you remember how serious the band was about our future? We were going to be stars.”
“It really was truly awful music though, wasn't it?”
“I don't know . . .” I spun her in my arms before wrapping her tight again. “With lyrics like these, we'd have been able to compete with just about any emo band of the time.”
“Is that right?”
“Here we are, underneath the cover.” I sang the lyrics in a murmur as I pressed my cheek against hers. “You're the one; my secret lover;
“We'll hide away, from the light of day;
“Come with me; we'll dance to our own beat.
“The rhythm grows until we are complete.”
“You wrote this one after our first time, didn't you?” Her question stopped my impromptu recital.
“Yeah.” I couldn’t say anything more than that because I was lost in the woods. Lost in the first night we were together. It was a few months before prom, and we’d snuck out as usual. Neither of us had made any special plans to push things as far as they’d gone. It had just kind of happened. I hadn’t been strong enough to insist we wait until after school. The night was far from perfect, and yet I’d never regretted it. After all, it had given me some inspiration for new songs. And a new maturity in my sound—at least I’d convinced myself of that regardless of whether it was true or not.
Her voice was full of emotion as she said, “It’s hard to remember how in love we were considering—”
I drew back from our dance to press my finger to her lips. “No regrets. We’re just two people hooking up. No history. No talk of what went wrong or what we wish might have been different. Just”—I pressed my lips against hers again—“the two”—my lips lingered over hers a little longer with my second kiss—”of us.”
