by Emma Nichols
It’s a little out of left field, but I’m so curious, I say, “Not at the moment.”
Leaning in closer to me, she says, “I know that you and Ethan Brooks were together for a long time and personally, I liked you together, but that’s not my point. What I wanted to tell you is that he hasn’t been the same since you left. As you know, the band didn’t stay together and he went to work for his parents. I love Ed and Heidi, but their son shouldn’t be wasting his musical talents away at an insurance agency. And don’t get me started on Jane. They don’t belong together. He seems miserable.”
Wow. That’s a lot of information. It sucks that Mrs. Armstrong thinks that Ethan is miserable. “I didn’t realize he was working with his parents.”
“It’s not ideal for him. He’s got a musical mind and shouldn’t be sitting in an office stifling his artistic gifts.”
My heart hurts thinking of Ethan being unhappy here. I don’t think that Mrs. Armstrong would exaggerate either.
A text alert goes off on her phone. Looking down, she scowls at it. “I’m sorry. I thought I shut this thing off. It’s Bill. He needs me to stop at the pet store. I’m going to have to go.”
“It’s okay. It’s been nice catching up,” I say and mean it. To this day, she is still one of my favorite people.
Rifling through her purse, she says, “Did the waitress bring over the bill? I’ve got my card.”
“No. I insist, it’s on me. You go to the pet store. I’ll take care of it.”
“Thanks, sweetie. I’ll see you tomorrow night at the reunion. It’s going to be fantastic.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I stand and we hug goodbye.
Finishing the last of my coffee and a couple bites of the sinful cinnamon goodness, I wait for the waitress to bring me the check.
Getting up to pay, my stomach sinks when Jane walks through the door in a conservative gray dress, her short dark hair styled perfectly and red lipstick on. She’s by herself and I’d love to duck out of here without her seeing me, but that’s impossible.
“Well, well. If it isn’t Caroline Carter. Great to see you this morning.” She gives me a condescending smirk.
“How are you today, Jane?” There’s no warmth to my tone. I’d love to waltz by her, pay, and leave, but she’s physically blocking my way.
“I’m fine, but you know what would make me even better?” She brings her head close to mine and whispers, “If you’d leave my boyfriend alone. We’re in love and he doesn’t want anything to do with you.” She straightens up and pastes her fake smile on again.
“Don’t worry, Jane. Ethan and I are just friends; you’ve got nothing to worry about.” She must be incredibly insecure talking to me this way.
“Good. I also heard that you don’t want to sing with the band at the reunion. Wise decision. It’s for the best.”
Oh, hell no. It’s as if all the noise in the diner stops. My nostrils flare and I grit my back teeth together. She doesn’t have a say in my decision to play with the band or not. “I don’t know what you heard, but we’re playing at the reunion. It’s a done deal. Thanks for the advice though.” My tone is dripping with ice.
Scooting around her, I drop the check and a twenty on the counter near the cash register and storm out of the diner.
3
Caroline
On the way to Tom’s house, my stomach has wound itself into Girl Scout grade knots. I’m really doing this, and I’m going to prove it to all of my band mates tonight at rehearsal. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to pull it off, but I’m giving it my all, if only to make Mrs. Armstrong proud and to spite Jane.
As soon as we get there, the door is ajar, and Rachel and I are greeted with the sounds of guitars jamming. It makes my heart happy to hear them playing one of our old songs; it’s got a fun beat and it isn’t serious or emotional in any way. This is what I need. If we can keep tonight light, I think I’ll be okay.
Rachel and I walk down the stairs to the basement and the guys continue to play. Ethan looks up from his bass and a slow smile builds across his face. I smile back, something to let him know that I’m here to stay tonight.
Walking up to the mic, I start singing the last verse of the song about summer sun and beach fun, blazing heat and ice cream, sun-kissed skin and relaxing. Rachel puts her guitar over her shoulder and joins in. The vibe is cool and easy with this song and the air all around us is lighter. I open up my voice for the end of the song and let it all go; my fears and inhibitions fly out with the last lyrics. The music stops and the guys start clapping.
“Nice to have you back,” Darren says.
Rachel pats my shoulder. “That sounded great.”
“Thanks, guys,” I say and do a little curtsey. “Can we stick with songs like that for the reunion?” It’ll be easier for me.”
Ethan bends over and picks up a piece of paper on the floor and hands it to me. “What do you think of these songs?”
Scanning the list, none of the songs look like they’ll provoke too much emotion. My muscles seem to relax.
“Looks great, but I don’t know the last one.”
“Oh, yeah, here is the sheet music. Can we practice the music, keep it instrumental for now?”
Everyone shakes his or her head and we start practicing the set list Ethan planned. It’s amazing how fast the lyrics and chords come back to me. It goes better than I expected. If I wondered if the musical chemistry between Ethan and I would still be there, it was clear after the first song that nothing has changed. The air seems to be charged with the same electric energy it always had when we played together, the type you feel move through your entire body—the same that I haven’t felt since the last time we all were together.
At the end of rehearsal while I’m packing away my guitar, Ethan comes up to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. “Can we talk for a minute?”
Standing, I turn toward him and nod. “Sure.”
Ethan smiles; it’s a serious, tight-lipped smile like he’s got a lot to say. “Let’s go outside.”
My chest fills with heat as I take a cleansing breath and follow Ethan up the stairs and out the door to the backyard. The evening is warm with a light breeze. Someone close by has a fire burning, the scent of burning embers wafts through the air. We don’t talk while we walk to the gazebo and have a seat on the lawn chairs, him next to me.
The moon is high and the sky is filled with stars. There’s decorative outdoor bulbs on the back deck that cast some light to where we’re sitting, giving me the perfect view of the Ethan’s gray eyes.
“You did great tonight,” Ethan says, breaking the silence.
“We all did. It felt really good,” I tell him. He was always easy to talk to and it seems that space and time have done nothing to change that.
“I forgot how much I missed this,” Ethan says, looking toward the night sky. He lounges back and puts his hands behind his head.
“Yeah,” is all I say. Tonight proved to me that I am better, more inspired with The Trees than I am on my own. Tomorrow night at the reunion should be a great performance if it’s anything like tonight.
Ethan stares at me and leans in closer, causing my palms to sweat. “So, tell me, Linus, how has Nashville been?”
Clearing my throat, I say, “Great. What about you? How have things been here?” I don’t let on that I talked with Mrs. Armstrong and she filled me in on what’s been going on with him. It’d be nice if he told me.
He looks away, off in the distance. “It’s been fine.”
Here’s where it shows, the distance between us. Our guards are up. We’re reverting to pleasantries now, easier than opening up and being vulnerable with each other.
I broke his heart when I told him I was ending things and moving away. We’d been together for almost nine years, he and I. We got the band together our junior year. It was together for seven years. We were able to do regular gigs together because those of us that went to college were all within a two-hour radius of each
other. When my dad died, I was overwhelmed and lost in my pain. The only thing that made sense was to pull back from anything and everything that I loved because it could be stripped from me at any time. It was the lowest point in my life. Moving to Nashville seemed like the best solution, to move away from the ghost of my dad at home and start fresh. Ethan didn’t want to go and I didn’t really want him to. I didn’t just break his heart, I broke mine, too.
“I had coffee this morning with Mrs. Armstrong,” I say.
“Oh, yeah. I see her around quite often. She’s a sweetheart.”
“I missed her.” I’ve missed so much. “She helped convince me to come back tonight to rehearsal and try again.”
“That’s good. What happened last night?” His brows knit together and he leans in closer to me.
So much. Where do I even start? That being with him and singing our song again brought back too many emotions that I thought I had buried deep down. That if I’m honest with myself, I’m still attracted to him and miss him more than I thought I did. “It was a little too much for my first night back in town. Sorry about that. I certainly didn’t want to be dramatic, but I was a little overwhelmed.”
“No need to apologize. I know this must be a lot for you.” He lays his hand on top of mine and strokes it, immediately comforting me.
“Thanks,” I say and struggle with wanting to tell him about my run-in with Jane. It’d be best to leave it alone, but I just can’t. “Hey, I ran into Jane today as I was leaving the diner. She told me to stay away from you and she tried to talk me out of singing with you guys for the reunion. That run-in helped make my decision, too.” I chuckle even though it’s not all that funny.
Huffing out a breath, he takes his hand away from mine and looks toward the sky for a few seconds before his gaze is back on me again with flared nostrils. “I am so sorry she said that to you. Who knows what her problem is. If you see her again while you’re in town, will you please ignore her? She’s got no right to talk to you like that. What are we, in high school again?”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m a big girl. I thought you should know.”
“Okay. That’s enough talk about her. I’m happy you’re here. It’s been good seeing you, Linus. I’ve missed you.”
My heart skips a beat with his admission. I lace my fingers together on my lap to stop myself from touching him. The truth is that I miss him, too.
“Hey, you ready to go?” Rachel calls out from the back door.
“I’ll be right there,” I tell her. Standing, I turn and make to take a step.
Ethan grabs my arm and I stop and turn back to face him. “I’m sorry,” he says, a note of something in his tone; it could be regret or disappointment. For what? I’d love to stay and ask him but I get the sense that going down that road could be dangerous.
“Thanks,” I say and give him a small smile. “See you at the reunion.”
“Can’t wait.”
Leaving Tom’s house, I feel more alive than I have in five years.
4
Caroline
Poking at my salmon, my stomach wants to revolt. Nerves are not my friend tonight. The ballroom at the Hilton is gorgeous, decked out in navy and gray accents everywhere from the chair coverings to the floral arrangements. The food is delicious—I wish I could eat it—and the liquor is top shelf. Everyone is dressed in tuxes and formal gowns. True St. Martin’s pride in all its glory, the alumni committee has spared no expense.
“Do you believe it’s been ten years?” Vixen Delaur says from across the table. Her red hair and blue eyes haven’t changed since high school. It seems that maybe her attitude has; she was a mean girl but tonight she’s cordial with everyone.
“Feels like we graduated yesterday,” Walter Haynes says. He graduated from Harvard and is a partner in a NYC law firm. Handsome as ever and still single.
Looking at my watch, I say to Rachel who’s sitting next to me, “We go on in a half hour. I’m too nervous to sit. I’m going outside to get some air.” Listening to small talk with people I haven’t talked to in ten years isn’t working for me.
She eyes me with a nod. “You going to be okay?”
“Yes. I’m fine. I just need a minute.” I use my most convincing tone.
“Do you need me to come with you?” Rachel asks.
“No, I’ll be fine. You stay and finish your chicken.”
Cocking her head in Walter’s direction, she says, “I’m going to stay and chat with him. Even if he’s gay, he’s smart and gorgeous and I do love intelligent conversation.”
“I’ll see you soon,” I say as I get up and walk toward the exit.
I’m nearly at the door when Mrs. Armstrong rushes over to me, her burgundy dress swaying behind her. “You made it.” She brings me in for a warm hug. It soothes me almost immediately.
“Did you think I wouldn’t?” I ask with a nervous giggle.
“Well, I wasn’t sure, but I hoped you’d find the courage. Are you leaving already?” She raises her eyebrows and tilts her head toward the door.
“No.” I smooth my hands down my black lace sheath dress. It hits just above the knee with a mock neck and a fitted waistline; it’s half glamour, half sexy. “I’m going outside for a breather before the performance.”
Taking my hand in hers, she says, “I know this isn’t easy for you, but once you hit the stage again, I’m sure it’ll be like old times. You guys will be great.”
“You’re the best, Mrs. Armstrong. Thank you.”
“Of course. Now go outside.” She waves her hand around toward the door. “I’ve got to get my hubby a drink or he’s going to come looking for me.”
Waving, I take my leave and finally make it outside where I’m greeted by the cool night air. Breathing deeply, I fill my lungs and exhale some of my nervous energy.
“What are you doing out here?” Darren says.
Startling back with my hand on my chest, I say, “I didn’t see that you were out here. You scared me.”
“Hey, sorry about that. Just got off the phone with the sitter. I was checking in. Marcy was worried because Layla was crying when we left her. But she’s fine now.” He smiles that easy smile I’m used to seeing on his face, always the funny, outgoing, talkative member of the band.
“How is your family?” I ask.
“We’re all doing great! Layla is a year old now, talking and walking all over the place. She’s the best.” There’s a glow in Darren’s eyes when he talks about his daughter that seems to add another layer of joy to the man standing in front of me. “How about you? When we talked at Tom’s, you didn’t say much about Nashville. What’s it really like?”
“It’s amazing. You’d love it there. You guys should come visit sometime.” It isn’t a lie. The city is fantastic, but I’m starting to wonder if I really belong there.
“Someday we might take you up on it. But, secretly, I wish you still lived here. It’s been like old times with the band back together. It’d be amazing to play more gigs.” He gives me a hopeful, boyish grin like he would have ten years ago.
Don’t I wish? Too bad Rachel and I are only here for the weekend. I can’t miss a shift at work; it pays too well and they’ve got people knocking down the doors for a job there. Clearing my throat, I say, “I agree, last night’s rehearsal felt like no time has passed.”
“Do you know what the new song is about? The one where we only rehearsed the music last night?”
I shrug. “No, not at all. Ethan didn’t tell you?”
“Not a word. Must be keeping it a secret until tonight. I love the keyboard portion. It’s sick. And to think Ethan hasn’t written a thing in years. When we have jam sessions, he never contributes anything new. It’s good to see his creative juices are flowing again.”
“Wow, I didn’t realize. Ethan and I don’t really keep in touch anymore.” My chest aches when I hear that he hasn’t been writing music. That is one of his greatest talents. So much has changed in the five years since I’ve
left.
Checking his watch, Darren says, “We better get back in there. We’ve got a show to put on.”
“Let’s go,” I say as the butterflies of excitement take flight in my belly.
Inside, the rest of the band is up on the stage tuning their instruments. Darren takes his spot at the keyboard next to Rachel, stage right. Ethan and I are center stage; Tom is stage left sitting behind his drums. I put my guitar on and let the familiar weight of it rest on my shoulder.
Mrs. Armstrong climbs up on the stage and grabs the mic in front of Ethan. “It’s my privilege to introduce to you members of the class of 2008. Some of you might remember them as The Trees. Come on over to the dance floor. You’re all in for a treat.”
She turns toward me and gives me a wink and walks off the stage.
The crowd claps and starts to gather on the dance floor in front of us. Many familiar faces and some I don’t recognize. My heart beats in my ears when I turn to find Ethan giving me a devilish grin, the one he always used to give me right before a show. “You ready?” he mouths to me.
With as much confidence as I can muster, I give him a nod. Ethan turns to give Tom a thumbs-up, his cue, and he begins to play. We’re opening with “Summer Sun.” It’s a fun, fast-paced song that the crowd immediately responds to. Everyone starts to move their hips to the sounds of the music.
My first lines come out of me as if no time has passed. It sounds flawless and when Ethan sings along with me, we look at each other and we’re both beaming. It’s an adrenaline rush hearing our voices together again, moving through the crowd and touching all of the people who hear it. Some people recognize the song and start singing along.
It’s as if every note, every word moves through me for the rest of the set. An electrical pulsing energy seems to stream in waves through the band and the crowd as we play off the energy they’re giving us.
At the end of the set, Tom bangs away at his drums in an intense solo. His talent is impressive and seems that he’s practiced quite a bit since I’ve seen him play last. Each of us come in with our instruments to the final song we practiced last night, but never heard the lyrics to.
