by Maggie Marr
“You got it.” Shelly wove through the room. Kids darted and dodged around tables and grownups, ignoring adult after adult who asked them to please walk and use inside voices.
Shelly didn’t bother telling them to slow down. Today was too close to Christmas for the children to contain their exuberance. She’d been the same type of kid; Santa had meant everything to her. Christmas was a perfect moment each year filled with family and joy and food and presents. The thought sparked a long buried memory. Vinnie had always gotten her the best gifts, the things she wanted so badly that year but nobody else seemed to notice she liked.
Damn, Christmas without Vinnie.
Her throat closed up. She breathed deep and forced back the prickle in her eyes, the widening pit in her gut. This year was almost like her first Christmas without her brother, because the one after he’d died she’d been flying high, partying on some rich guy’s boat off the coast of Texas. Times had still been good then. Rolling with rich men, high-class drugs, high-class dates, all before she got really bad, really dirty, and had been willing to do nearly anything for the hits that she needed.
Too many memories. A shiver raced down her spine. She closed her eyes. Nope, she was not doing this now, not reliving the past, not beating herself up, staying here and in the now.
“You look beautiful.”
A warmth filled her body and her eyelids opened. Anthony’s voice caressed her skin. Every muscle in her body tensed with desire.
She tilted her head and turned. Her eyes drifted from his shoes up and over his calves, his well-muscled thighs, his belly, up past his tie to his lips, those lips that last night had forced her to say his name, begging for release. Finally, she looked into his molten brown eyes, filled with a rough-edged desire she knew he barely contained. He moved closer and leaned toward her, his lips brushing her hair. “Let’s leave and go to my place.”
Her heart beat fast. Her mouth curved into a smile. “Absolutely not. This is your event. I promised to help, and you need to be here.”
“My event? Who told you that?”
“Your sister-in-law.”
A hint of concern shot through Anthony’s eyes. Perhaps even remorse? Shelly was glad to see it. Anthony had finally realized that family meant as much to him now as it had when they’d been younger and a couple and very much in love. That realization was the first step in repairing the relationships he had damaged. His gaze left hers to look around the room.
“Looks good, doesn’t it?” she asked.
“Like chaos,” he said. “But a happy chaos.”
“I’ve been tasked with assisting at the Christmas stocking table. Why don’t you come and help, at least until Santa arrives?”
Anthony nodded. He reached out and grasped her fingertips. Yes, there he was, the Anthony she remembered, the one she loved, the guy with the big heart who loved family and children and Christmas.
“I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do.”
*
Happy chaos was the correct term for this afternoon. Anthony stood beside Shelly, watching as kids streamed around the room in a euphoric frenzy. This was Christmas, and the noise and activity and absolute joy was exactly the way this event was meant to be. Yes. Yes, he had been the one to think of the Teddy Bear Luncheon as a way to make certain some at-risk kids got to celebrate the holiday. The first year, they’d had about twenty kids. But Travati Teddy Bear Luncheon grew year after year, and well, this year? The party was beyond what he could have hoped for or imagined. For that, Anthony had his sister-in-law to thank.
Anthony’s gaze landed on Aubrey, in her red dress, with her round belly. She stood beside a redhead in a green dress who looked vaguely familiar. Jen? Gwen? The party planner they’d used a couple times in the past and Aubrey had hired to help her with the event. Throughout the planning stages, Aubrey had tried to include him. She sent him emails and texts about venue and menu and agenda and timing, communications to which he’d responded with abrupt, one-word answers.
Most unkind.
But Aubrey had run with this event, exceeding not only his expectations for this year, but what he imagined this annual charity could provide. The Christmas carols booming from the speakers stopped, and then started up again with familiar lyrics: “You better watch out, you better not cry!” A huge cheer erupted. The children who’d attended in the past knew this song meant Santa was close. They scrambled toward the tables, looking for their parents and their names on the place cards. The room settled surprisingly quickly for a pack of kids amped up on Christmas cheer. “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” ended, and the next song, “Up on the Housetop” started. The kids jumped up at their chairs. A roar of excitement trembled through the room.
Aubrey stepped onto the stage. Her eyes met Anthony’s, and she waved for him to come forward while the holiday tune still played. He nodded and walked toward the stage.
Once beside her, he leaned down to speak in her ear over the sound of the music. “You did an amazing job, Aubrey. Thank you.”
She turned her face to his. In that moment, he knew how deeply his thanks registered with her. Maybe it was the pregnancy, but her bottom lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears.
“Anthony, that means so much to me.” A trembling smile curved across her face.
She’d been doing all this not only for Justin, and not only for the Travati Charitable Foundation. She’d been doing this for him, in the hope that he’d notice and maybe let her finally be a part of his family.
“Hey, there’s no crying in Christmas,” he said, trying to make light of the situation. He still needed to apologize, and definitely would, but now, standing at the front of a room full of a hundred screaming early grade schoolers, wasn’t the optimal time. She sniffled, touching her fingertips to the corners of her eyes.
“I think you should have the honor of introducing the star,” Anthony said, gesturing toward the microphone she held.
“I think we should do it together.”
Anthony nodded.
The music faded and Aubrey lifted the microphone. “Okay, we have a special visitor here today, my favorite elf in the entire world, who has some presents for all of you!” A giant smile spread across her face as she handed the mic to Anthony.
He looked around the room, picking up where she had left off. “Let’s all give a big hello to…”
“Santa Claus!” he and Aubrey finished together. The entire roomful of crazy kids yelled Santa Claus in unison with them.
Warmth flooded through Anthony. How could anyone be unhappy in the presence of such amazing joy? The kids, these underprivileged kids who might not know much of a Christmas without this event, vibrated with excitement. He looked across the stage to watch the entrance of the star of the show, Saint Nick, the guy who made everyone’s Christmas dreams come true—
“Wait? Is that—?” Anthony squinted. The familiar gait, the distinctive eyes… “Did you get Justin to be Santa this year?”
“Uh-huh. And next year is Leo, then you, and then Devon.”
Anthony’s jaw dropped open and a laugh burst from his lips. “I can’t believe you managed that. Justin?” He slipped his phone from his pocket. He had to get a picture for posterity, and to unmercifully tease his oldest brother. He snapped a shot as the first child, a little boy in a red sweater and jeans, walked up the steps and sat on Santa’s lap. After a whispered exchange, a smile, and a picture, the boy took his present and returned to his mother, who sat beaming at a table near the back of the room.
“Amazing, Aubrey, absolutely amazing. I could barely get my brothers to even come when we did this before. Now you’ve managed to co-opt them?”
“Take a look behind the sled.”
Devon stood there in an elf costume, complete with fake ears and pointy shoes, handing presents to Santa. Anthony snickered. “That’s more embarrassing than being Santa.”
“Uh-huh. I wanted to make you an elf, but Devon got the job this year.” She smiled sweetly at hi
m. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness, or her friendship. But he would make it his mission moving forward to be sure that he did, because Aubrey loved Justin. He guessed that Aubrey loved all the Travati brothers, even the one who had acted like he didn’t want to be loved.
“I wanted to do this more privately, and I can. I can go on at great length if you’d like, but Aubrey, I owe you an apology.” His gaze flicked toward Shelly, who sat beside Mrs. Bello. Both women wore giant smiles on their faces. “In fact, I probably owe you a hundred apologies, at least.” He looked into Aubrey’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ve been very…” He shook his head. Damn, as much as he wanted to apologize and make things right, the words were hard to get out. “I’ve been awful since the day you arrived, and I shouldn’t have been. I was wrong and I’m sorry. I’ll do whatever needs to be done to make this right with you and with Max.”
“And with Justin?” Aubrey asked.
Of course. The love of her life, Anthony’s brother. Aubrey wanted the family to be right, the brothers to be close, their family to be whole.
“I’ll try,” Anthony sighed. “It won’t be easy.”
“Most things worth having aren’t.”
His eyes strayed back toward Shelly, who now looked at him with her head tilted and a smile on her face. “No, no, they’re not.”
“I really like her,” Aubrey said softly, her tone almost asking for permission. “Meeting her helps me to understand.”
Anthony’s brows tightened.
“Why this was hard for you. Why accepting me and Max and Justin was difficult. You and Shelly love each other, and for whatever reason…I mean, I don’t know why you weren’t together for a while, but from the stories I’ve heard and from what I’ve seen, you were meant to be. Still are.”
Anthony nodded. He put his arm around Aubrey and gave her a gentle squeeze. “I’ve always loved Shelly, even when I didn’t want to.”
Aubrey sighed. “That’s how love works. We don’t choose love, love chooses us. Kind of inconvenient sometimes.”
Completely inconvenient and unkind and unfair and difficult and soul-destroying when love chose you and you chose love, but then awful things happened to the person who received all that love. Yes, love could be inconvenient, but he hoped to hell that this time, this Christmas, his love for Shelly wouldn’t be heartbreaking as well.
Chapter 11
Taking Nonna home, changing clothes, and then going back to Anthony’s place with him felt normal. Right. As though Shelly’d been meant to do this, just this way, since she first fell in love with Anthony. She cuddled against him as they rode up on the elevator to his condo. His chin settled on the top of her head, his whiskers scruffing her hair, and his strong arms wrapped around her. Contentment flooded through her body. She was safe. Serene. Whole.
“Today was nice,” he whispered into her hair.
She pulled back and looked up into his eyes. “Today was amazing. Aubrey did a fantastic job, and Gwen is really good at event planning.”
“Okay, Gwen, it’s Gwen.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t remember if her name was Jen or Gwen.”
A tiny bit of satisfaction pulsed through Shelly. Of course she knew that Anthony was hers…for now…but she was still a tiny bit pleased that he hadn’t even noticed the perfect party planner enough to remember her name. The elevator dinged, the doors opened, and they stepped off the lift into Anthony’s place.
The sight that greeted her wasn’t what she’d expected and yet, it was exactly as Anthony’s home should be.
What had she expected? Perhaps that his condo would be a reflection of the man Anthony Travati had become—hard, cold, workaholic. She’d expected chrome and leather and glass, and stark curtainless windows. Perhaps black marble floors. Everything pristine and untouchable. Instead Anthony’s place looked as though a Travati lived here. Warm plush brown leather furniture with deep thick carpets. Built-in wooden bookshelves loaded with books. Not a bit of chrome or black marble.
“You like?”
“It’s just exactly what I’d want for you.” Shelly pressed closer to him. “Warm and homey.”
His eyes turned dark and filled with want.
A shiver shot through her body.
“It is tonight.” His voice was low and raspy.
Heat pooled in her belly. His gaze was intense. He leaned closer, his size, his vitality…he backed her against the wall. His lips brushed hers in a soft, tentative kiss. She wove her fingers through his hair. His body fit to hers and his hard maleness pressed against her. A soft moan escaped her lips.
His tongue thrust deep into her mouth. More insistent, more needy, he claimed her with his kiss.
Yes, oh God, yes. A desire so deep, one only Anthony could fill.
His arms embraced her and he lifted her. She wrapped her legs around him, tightening her thighs around his waist. The top of his cock pressed against her swollen female flesh through their clothes.
“Shelly, I can’t get enough of you,” he whispered against her mouth.
His words speared her heart. Her sex clenched tight with an unsatisfied need. He held her tightly, his mouth still devouring hers, and carried her down a long hallway. He nudged open the door and kicked it closed behind them with his foot.
An ache wrenched her body, a physical want she feared she’d destroyed with her addiction and her abuse. But no, both last night and now, the desire, the need, the hunger for Anthony’s touch remained insistent.
Slowly and deliberately he lay her on his giant bed. He stepped back, his eyes assessing her.
“You have too many clothes on.”
A smile curved over her lips. Before leaving Nonna’s, she’d changed from her dress into jeans and a sweater.
“I can take care of that.” He lifted her ankle and slipped off first her boot and then her sock. His hands massaged the arch of her foot, gently working it over.
Her hips tilted involuntarily. God, who knew a man rubbing her foot could nearly make her come?
“Like that, angel?” The lift of his brow told her he knew exactly the impact his touch had on her arousal. He did the same with her other foot. By the time he finished, she was ready to jump up and strip her clothes from her body. Electric tingles pulsed across her skin, and she wanted nothing more than the warmth of his hands on her naked flesh, his lips, his hard maleness deep inside her body.
He leaned forward, positioning himself above her, a hand on the mattress on either side of her head. “Easy there, angel.” He kissed her nose, and then each eye. “I’ve waited a long time for tonight.”
His words, his voice alone was delicious torture. She pulled her bottom lip under her teeth, a moan escaping her lips. Her hips, her hips had no control. He had barely touched her and yet she was ready to fly apart.
He dipped his head and pressed his mouth to her throat. One hand traveled over her body to her jeans, which he slowly unbuttoned. Then he pulled her sweater up and over her head. She lay back and his lips found her belly, searing hot kisses down to the edge of her jeans. Then with both hands he grasped the waistband near her hips and stripped her bare of the denim. His mouth pressed to the lace of her panties.
“Angel, you’re wet for me.” He spread her legs with his hand and kissed the damp fabric. The heat of his breath teased her sex.
Her hips jolted up. She wanted to rip the panties from her body, let his lips, his mouth, his tongue take her.
He slowly, deliberately, slid the fabric aside and pressed one soft kiss to her mound.
“Anthony,” she whispered, desire evident in her voice.
A soft laugh from him. “Patience, angel, we have all night.”
She felt the pressure of his hands as he pulled the panties from her hips and down over her knees. Her legs fell open. He leaned forward, settling his face between her thighs. He spread her with his thumbs, and her gaze locked with his as he dipped his head. His tongue speared deep into the entry of her sex. His fingertip caressed her engorged nub.
&n
bsp; “My God, Anthony.” She clutched at his hair. He held her hips still with his hands as his tongue laved up the side of her to her swollen clit, pulling her deep into his mouth. Sucking, rolling his tongue against her sensitive flesh. This pleasure, this need, so intense she was coming apart. Her hands tugged at his hair. She wanted him, all of him.
“Please, Anthony, please, I want you inside me.”
He pulled away from her clit and positioned himself up over her body. How did he still have his clothes on? Those clothes needed to come off him now. His lips met hers, and she tasted the salty earthiness of her musk. Her hands yanked and pulled and unbuttoned his shirt in a frenzy of sexual need. His body, her fingertips needed to feel his body. Finally she bared his chest, that perfect chest, with hard muscles and soft hair, ran her hands over it. She pressed her lips to his chest, found his nipple with her tongue. She licked it and reached for his cock, feeling it so hard and thick in his pants.
“Shelly, my God, what you do to me.”
Her hands pulled at his belt and his pants, practically tearing them off his body.
“Please, Anthony, please,” she wailed, needing his hard maleness inside her. Wanting the satisfaction of making love to a man she loved. He rolled to the side and she heard the sound of foil. He ripped open the package and unrolled the condom onto his shaft.
Fuck, he was big. She’d forgotten how big. Her body tensed with the thought of Anthony between her legs, inside her, trembled with the need, the desire to feel his arms around her as he pressed down and into her.
She fell back against the pillows and he hovered above her. Her legs parted and the hard tip of his shaft pressed against her entrance. His gaze locked to hers. Her heart exploded with heat and joy as she saw the love that shone from his eyes, the love they’d shared long ago, which had never died.
“Shelly,” he whispered, gently pushing forward into her. He moved with a reverence, a stillness filled with deep desire, as though acknowledging that this love, this passion could not be taken for granted.
