by Kayla Oliver
Because I’m in too fucking deep. Everything about her drives me mad in just the right way.
Suddenly, everything Dakin has said makes more sense. His reactions and how his life changed when Camille came into the fray is less alien to me now.
Because when the right person comes along, you just know.
I feel her breathing even out and know she’s fading fast. So I readjust and place her on the bed before pulling the covers over her. She gives me a weak smile, and I brush a stray lock of hair out of her eyes.
“You’re amazing,” I say as I press a kiss to her forehead.
But I know she’s out based on how deep and even her breathing is. I stretch out next to her, wondering when my feelings for her had slipped into something so deep. And I realize it wasn’t an all-at-once thing. It happened bit by bit, piece by piece, inch by inch over the last few weeks since she came into my life.
Pulling her close, I hold her and just enjoy her heat.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Addie
I wake with a strange heat beside me. Cliff tightens his hold on me. I snuggle into him, loving how it feels as he stirs. He’s awake; I can feel the change in his breathing.
“Good morning,” I whisper.
He doesn’t answer but presses a kiss to my forehead in that way I freaking love. It’s amazing, this change in him. He’s more affectionate, but it’s not weird.
I want more of what we’d done last night. I want him to teach me everything. But the weight of everything that’s happened is pressing down on me, and I feel tears threatening.
I force them back, reminding myself that it’s going to be okay. Cliff isn’t going to let anything happen to me. He’s so protective, so very careful, that it doesn’t matter who comes after me or what they try. He’s not going to let anything happen.
“You’re not thinking of leaving, are you?” he asks, and I look over at him. There’s worry in his eyes, and I wonder if he’s actually scared I’m just going to run out on him.
“No,” I say, and there’s a gentle curve to the corners of his lips as his hand comes up to brush my hair off my face. “Because there’s nowhere you could go that I wouldn’t follow.” The gentle words are so soft and sweet, I feel my heart melting in my chest.
Love this man.
There’s just no denying it anymore. I reach out to touch his face, to feel the stubble he’s accrued overnight. His lips kiss my fingertips, and I can’t help but smile. Everything he does is larger than life, frightening even, yet I’m not afraid of him.
There’s a knock at the door, and my heart kicks so hard I feel like I’m going to be sick as panic sets in.
“Cliff?” a female voice says on the other side of the door.
“Yeah, we’ll be out in a few, okay?” he responds, and I hear love in his tone as he snuggles into me and places a hand over my chest like he can calm my thumping heart. “You get to meet my mother,” he says, pressing a kiss to my chin, my jaw, my cheek as I shove him away.
“Don’t do that with your mother outside the door,” I say, the words ending on a hiss of disbelief that he’s being so casual about kissing me right now.
“Yeah, she knows,” he says, laughter in his voice.
“That doesn’t make it better!” I say, feeling humiliated that his mother knows I’m sleeping with him before I even get to introduce myself. How embarrassing.
“She’s not going to judge you,” he says seriously as he sits up and begins to dress.
But even with these words on his lips, I can’t help but worry. What if she hates me? I just admitted that I love him to myself—if his mother hates me, how can I ever even consider a relationship with this man?
I dress with trembling fingers, worry eating at my thoughts. She’s going to think I’m just some dirty whore like the rest of the world. How could she not when her first impression of me is that I’m sleeping with her son? I don’t have a chance.
When I’m dressed I turn to Cliff, who’s watching me with a sexy grin on his handsome face.
“Stop it,” I say, and his grin grows.
“Can’t,” he says simply.
I roll my eyes at him. He opens the bedroom door and strides out, his shoulders square and his chin held high. I wish I had even an ounce of his confidence as I slink behind him, hoping not to be noticed.
“There you are!” I hear the woman’s voice and wince. She walks up to hug Cliff, and I’m struck. She’s tall and beautiful, her hair dark as Cliff’s with a distinguished stripe of silver slightly to the right of her part. Her face is beautiful, her eyes navy and her cheekbones wide and high.
Behind her a tall man who’s the spitting image of Cliff, though older, turns and walks up to pat Cliff’s shoulder. Then they part. His mother cups his cheeks and looks him over.
“You’ve been eating. Good boy,” she says, her voice cool and calm, and I can’t help but like her.
Then she looks past him at me, and I shrink back in fear as she steps around him and walks toward me.
“You’re beautiful,” she breathes, her eyes tracing my face, her hands coming up to touch my face like she can’t believe I’m real. She glances over her shoulder at Cliff, and I sense she’s approving before she turns back to me. Without another word, she pulls me into a hug. I hug her back, surprised by how easily she seems to accept me.
When she backs off, she takes both my hands and holds them, her eyes locked on mine. The guys walk off, talking in low voices as I stand here with his mother.
“I’m Robin,” she says, and I nod.
“Addie,” I say, before clearing my throat and trying again. “Madeline. My friends call me Addie.”
“Beautiful,” she states again. “Cliff has never brought a woman home, so I assume it’s serious?” There’s an open expression on her face that leaves me sure I can confide in her.
“Um, kind of. He’s just… protecting me.” I say, unable to explain things. I don’t know how much she knows, or how much I even want to tell her.
“Oh, you poor thing. You have no idea, do you?” she says, and I look back into her eyes in shock. She studies me a moment, her face breaking into a smile before she pulls me into a hug. “I’m very pleased to meet you,” she says, and I echo her sentiment.
“Me too,” I say with a lot less eloquence. I’m still puzzling over what she means as the men walk back into the room and her father comes to my side. He stands, looking down on me as Robin releases my hands and steps back.
“I’m Addie,” I say, unsure how to handle him. He’s so… intense. He really is a copy of Cliff, though older. Though I guess Cliff would be the copy, since his father came first.
I offer my hand, but his father pulls me into a hug. “Welcome,” he says gruffly in my ear, and I hug him tight. This welcome is so much more than I could have ever hoped for.
These people are kind and wonderful. They’re not judging me like I expected, ad they don’t seem to care who I am or where I came from; their son vouching for me is all it takes to gain their love and trust.
“Thank you,” I whisper, feeling tears crowding my eyes. I blink them back, not wanting to look like a cry baby to these wonderful people.
“Breakfast?” Robin says, and Cliff nods. She hurries off to the kitchen, and Cliff follows her after giving me a dark stare that promises that I’m not off the hook yet. I shiver, standing close to his father.
“So how do you like it here?” his father asks, and I smile up at him as we walk toward the back door.
“It’s beautiful. Cliff is very fortunate to have such fond family memories of this place,” I say, and his father nods. Outside, the air has a snap of chill to it, and I breathe deeply as it ignites my lungs. We wander toward the docks as his father asks about my parents, and I give honest answers.
I explain that we haven’t talked in a while and I feel bad for it, but life has managed to get in the way. We talk about how important family is, and how much love there is in our families. And I decide
I like him.
“Cliff is a good guy,” his father says, and I answer absentmindedly as we stand on the dock overlooking the blue lake.
“Yeah, he is,” I say, loving the way the wind whips the lake into white caps. It’s picturesque.
I’m happy here. Even with all the pain that’s been plaguing my life, I feel safe here, at home, loved and accepted. It’s more than I could have ever hoped for.
“I love him.” The words slip out, and I peek up at his father, worried about his reaction.
“Have you told him?” he asks, his eyes scanning the lake.
“No.” I feel ashamed of the admission and how weak and silly I must look right now. His father turns to me. He takes both my shoulders in his hands and looks me in the eyes. “Want my advice?” he asks, and I nod, mute in the face of this moment.
“The only thing I regret,” he says, his voice soft, “was waiting for what I was told to expect. The world tells us that love looks like this, and feels like that, and we should act a certain way.” He’s so very honest and gentle, I feel the words touching my heart and I nod.
“But if it feels right and it feels good, just listen to that feeling, okay?”
I nod, and he releases my shoulders and turns to look over the lake again. “Is the fishing any good?” I ask, and he laughs.
“Yeah, bass and rainbow trout,” he says, “And catfish if you’re fishing deep.”
“Got any extra poles?” I ask, and he’s quick to tell me I’ll find everything I need in the garage.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Cliff
She and my dad walk in, laughter in their voices as they speak. And I feel like my life is complete. With her here, and my parents, everything feels like that same happy, loving home I remember as a child, but with new depth. The depth of having the woman I love here too.
It’s like everything has come full circle.
“So why the surprise visit?” I ask Mom, and she’s quick to confide in me in a low tone of voice for my ears only. I appreciate her caution.
“We saw the news. That poor girl.” She sounds upset, and I know that she’s feeling terrible for all the things that have happened to Addie. That’s my mom, though. Compassion is something she’s always had in spades.
“I love her, Mom,” I say, and Mom gives me a look that tells all. There’s a slight smile on her lips and a set to her eyebrows like she’s wondering if there’s even a chance I think she didn’t already know.
“I know,” she says, confirming everything I’d been thinking. “But my question is what are you going to do about it?”
Well, that’s nothing if not a loaded question.
Before I can say anything, Addie and Dad come in from the back. They make their way toward us, and I see the smile in Dad’s eyes while she talks, and I know he already approves of her too.
Addie is animated, excited as she speaks to me. “Your father said there are fishing poles in the garage and everything. We have to go fishing!”
I can feel Mom looking at me, but all I can see is Addie. Her luminous green eyes are sparkling, and her lips are curved in a beautiful smile. Of course she’d like fishing. She fucking can’t get any more perfect for me, can she? Not even if she tried.
“Of course,” I say, unable to stop looking at the huge, happy grin on Addie’s face. “We’ve got kayaks out there too,” I say, and she bounces up and down on her feet and giggles, clapping her hands like a little girl. But her huge breasts are bouncing with the movement. She’s not a little girl. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I feel like I’ve been kicked in the balls.
Fucking hell, I want her again. I want to usher my parents out of here with thanks for stopping bys and see you laters so I can get Addie back in bed.
But there’s no way in hell I can make that happen, so I have to tamp back that desire and put on a happy face. Fucking hell, I want to drag her by the arm into the nearest room, close the door, and use her sexy body to sate this need rising up in me.
I’d hoped having her would ease some of this need, but I’m not that lucky, of course. If anything, I feel a more acute need to be buried in her now that I know how good she feels.
“Breakfast is ready!” Mom says, saving me from doing or saying something really stupid.
I can’t take my eye off Addie, who’s quick to hurry over and set the table. And I just stand there like an idiot, watching her. She doesn’t even seem to notice me as she and my dad talk and place napkins. But Mom elbows me, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Dish up plates and pick your chin up off the floor,” she says, and I jump to follow her orders.
“You’ve got it bad, don’t you?” Mom says, a gentle teasing note to her voice. But she also sounds happy for me. Or happy this is happening to me. I’m not sure which.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I tell her, and she lets out a rich, hearty laugh.
“It’s okay,” she says. “This might surprise you, but I’ve been in love before.” She must have seen the panic in my face because she looks over at Addie as if to calm me down. “She’s busy and isn’t hearing a word we say,” Mom says. Beyond her, I see Addie and Dad conspiring as they set the table.
They’re talking and laughing so easily it’s warming my heart. Seeing Addie with my dad is something that I hadn’t even thought about, but knowing they’re getting along like a house on fire is really a sight for sore eyes.
With all she’s been through, Addie needs this. She needs to belong, to have a sense of normalcy. She needs support and comfort. And my family has those in spades.
With plates dished high with pancakes—Mom’s specialty—I place things on the table and go back for maple syrup, milk, orange juice, all the fixings for an amazing filling breakfast.
My parents sit together, and I find myself beside Addie, who’s eyeing the food like she hasn’t eaten in months. I love that she eats. I mean, really eats. She doesn’t pick at her food; she’s not a dainty eater. She puts food away like I do.
Conversation trickles and stacks of pancakes are eaten while we all sit. I enjoy listening to Addie talk. When my parents ask her questions, she answers, sometimes shyly, sometimes with excitement. She tells about how her father taught her to fish, and how she caught a giant bass when she was little.
I watch her light up and share pieces of herself so willingly and know that I’m a lost cause. Because I don’t just want to sleep with her. No, I want to hear every story she has to tell. I want to create new memories that make her as animated as she is in this moment.
I want all of her.
When we’ve finished eating, I begin to clear dishes and Addie helps me before my parents jump in. As a group we clean, wash dishes, put things away, and clean the kitchen the way we’ve done things since I was little.
Mom taught me that messes we make as a family, we fix as a family. And now, knowing what I know, I realize that philosophy extends to a lot more than just a dirty kitchen.
When everything is clean, Addie wraps me up in a hug and my parents ask what we’ve got planned. Addie makes a joke that she plans to go fishing and invites my mom and dad out.
I laugh that they’re already making plans like this is just a big family vacation and Addie is a part of it. More than a part of it—the heart of it all.
My parents and Addie are getting along better than I could have ever hoped. “Fishing sounds good,” I say, but my mom gives a little jerk to her head as if to ask me to come talk to her.
I plant a kiss on the top of Addie’s head and walk toward Mom. Stopping in the doorway, I look back at Dad and Addie. “We’ll catch up to you guys, okay?” I say. Addie nods, and I catch up with Mom, wondering what’s so important she decided to pull me away like that.
“We need to talk,” she says, sounding so very serious I’m actually worried for a minute that something is terribly wrong.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, feeling ice line my gut. She hesitates, then nods. I’m not totally convinced as we sit down on op
posite sides of the kitchen table.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Addie
“Fishing, then?” I say to Cliff’s dad as he and his mom disappear into the kitchen to talk. I’m a little disappointed, but I get it. Mother and son have things to talk about. It’s sweet, really, that they’re close.
“Sure,” he says. “Let’s go see what we’ve got in the garage, shall we?”
I follow him out, and the questions come before I can stop them. “So how much do you guys know about me?” The questions have been eating me alive. I want to know if they’ve heard every last sordid detail, if they’ve even seen the naked pictures of me that I swear everyone has seen by now.
“I know that Cliff thinks highly of you,” his dad says, surprising me.
“That’s not what I meant,” I say, and his dad lifts a hand to cut me off as we stop in front of the garage.
“Look,” he says as he reaches up and takes a fishing pole off a rack overhead before handing it to me. “I was young and stupid once. Granted, it was before the internet.” He gives me a wry smile that tells me he knows everything.
I hang my head, hating myself. “So you do know.” Which means Cliff’s mom knows. She’s probably telling him he should find someone better than me to waste time with. That’s what any good mother would tell her son, I’m sure.
“I know, but I don’t care,” Cliff’s father says, and I look up at him as he hands me a tackle box. “You trusted the wrong person. How could anyone hold that against you?” he asks, and I feel my shoulders lift in a miserable and silent I don’t know. He continues on. “Look, it doesn’t say anything about you. It speaks volumes to the character of the person who did it to you. But all it says about you is that you’re trusting. That is not, nor could I ever consider it, a flaw.”
“I guess,” I say as he takes down another pole and grabs another tackle box. “Does Robin see it the same way?” I ask as we walk out of the garage toward the dock. “Or is she going to tell him to spend his time with someone less…”
