by Susan Meier
As he had with Nina.
Jason wasn’t worried that Kristen was using him. He was worried that if Dean hurt Kristen, she’d spiral out of control as he had after Nina’s death...and she’d lose her dream.
She caught his hand, as naturally, as perfectly, as if they belonged together, and crazy fear raced through Dean.
What if he hurt her?
What if something he said or did ultimately hurt her enough to destroy her dream?
Some people really did only get one shot at life.
What if he ruined hers?
“So Dom and Ginny took the baby to their room. They’ll leave him with a nanny and be back, but I think it’s so cute that they are hands-on parents.”
He did too. He imagined that being raised by a nanny could be as cold and unhappy as being raised by a grandmother who didn’t want you.
So he couldn’t even think he’d work out his fears of being a bad father by hiring help. Help wasn’t what a kid wanted or needed. Love was. Love from a parent.
His blood ran cold at the truth of it. He slid his hand out of Kristen’s.
“I...um...need to mingle with my staff.”
Her smiled grew. “Great. I’d love to meet them.”
He took another step back. “No. I’m fine. You mingle with your potential benefactors.”
“I’ve already mingled. I talked with everyone in the receiving line.” She grinned. “Any more talk and I’m going to look obnoxious.”
She could never look, act or be obnoxious. She was too honest. Too open. And he was nowhere near that.
He was grouchy, lonely, driven. And two weeks in her company couldn’t change that. Just as two weeks in her company couldn’t possibly cause them to fall in love.
He took another step back. “I don’t want you to come with me.”
Her eyes brimmed with confusion. “What?”
“Look, I get it that you’re excited. I get it that things are going your way. But this is my company, my legacy. I don’t want or need your help.”
He let the words fall out, deliberately cruel, to chase her away, but also to remind her that she didn’t really know him. And getting to know him would be stupid because, in the end, she wouldn’t like the person she would find.
He took another step back. “Goodbye, Kristen.”
He said it the same way he had the night he’d first kissed her, intending it to be the last time he saw her. Except this time, it wasn’t an easy decision. This time he knew her enough to recognize what he was giving up.
He took one last look at her face, one last long glance into her pretty green eyes, and walked away.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THE REST OF the reception was a whirlwind for Kristen. Though she’d told Dean she didn’t want to make a nuisance of herself with potential benefactors, everybody seemed interested in her cause. Everybody had advice. Start a blog. Do a Kickstarter campaign. Get on Facebook.
By the time she was free enough to look for Dean, he had gone.
She didn’t understand what had happened. One minute everything between them was perfect. Warm. Romantic. But also casual, like two people so in tune they didn’t have to work at getting along. And the next he was running away from her.
Telling herself not to make a big deal of it, she went home that night, took off her pretty pink gown and fell into a restless sleep. The next morning, she went to the hotel to see him, but he was already working. When she stopped by the meeting room, he had Jason tell her that he was too busy to be interrupted.
“We’re at a pivotal moment,” he said, smiling patiently. “I finally got him working with staff. He told me that there were to be no interruptions.” He peered at her over his glasses. “From anyone.” He smiled benignly. “It’s best that you don’t come back. He’s a busy man, who really doesn’t date. Now that he’s made up with the royal family, he’ll be dealing with them.”
Her heart about pounded itself out of her chest. If it hadn’t been for their dance the night before, she might—might—have wondered if he hadn’t used her to pave the way to make up with Prince Alex.
But that was absurd.
Wasn’t it?
She hadn’t done anything to facilitate him talking to Eva and Alex—
Except bring him to Grennady.
And tell the princess he was in Grennady two days before they returned home so that Eva had time to get Alex acclimated...
So that by the time they did meet, both Alex and Dean were in a good enough frame of mind to make amends rather than sling accusations.
The truth of it settled in on her, made her breath shiver and her heart hurt.
Once again, she’d been taken in by somebody who used her.
And like an idiot, she’d fallen in love with him.
Except all she had was Jason’s word that he didn’t want her around.
So that night, she waited until she knew Dean had gone back to his suite. Standing in a quiet corner of the hotel lobby, she watched as he stepped into the elevator for the penthouse. Then she used the house phone to call him. He answered on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me, Kristen. I stopped by to see you before but Jason said you were busy.”
“We’re on the verge of being ready to ship the games to beta testers.”
“That’s great.”
“So you can understand why we don’t want any interruptions. I appreciate everything you did for me with Alex and Princess Eva, but we have work to do now.”
He hung up the phone and Kristen just stared at the receiver in her hand shell-shocked.
He really had used her.
* * *
It had physically hurt Dean to disconnect the call. But he knew this was for her own good. He deliberately led her down a path where she’d draw some wrong conclusions about him and his intentions, to prevent her from trying to get back into his life.
She was a good person and he was a bad bet.
But every day it hurt a little more. Christmas decorations once again looked tarnished. Taunting. He didn’t want to hear Christmas music. Didn’t want to eat Christmas cookies. Didn’t want to see even one Christmas tree. He might be busy, but he was also alone, empty. And he felt the way he had when he was six or eight or even ten. The world around him was celebrating, happy. And he was alone.
Within a few days the bugs in the games were nearly gone. They tested and retested, found new bugs and fixed them, and by Christmas Eve morning, they were done.
He gave the staff the option of going home for Christmas but everyone unanimously said no. They wanted to spend Christmas in the winter paradise they’d grown to love.
Dean almost took the plane back to New York, but the smart businessman in him couldn’t miss the Christmas Eve ball being thrown by the royal family. Grennady had brought his staff back to life. Grennady had saved his company. As a thank-you, he’d made an informal agreement with Princess Eva to bring his staff to Grennady two times a year for corporate retreats. Though it wasn’t the commitment she had hoped for, it had given her the idea to entice other tech companies to do the same. He would not be so rude as to walk out on celebrating with the royal family who—in spite of all odds—had become an asset to him.
But he also couldn’t stay in the penthouse an entire afternoon, waiting for the hands of the clock to move far enough that he could dress for the ball. So he put on his parka, caught the bus to the resort and snowboarded until his feet were tired and his nose was frozen.
He found new trails, bypassing the ordinary routes usually taken by tourists and suddenly found himself in the most pristine, peaceful valley he’d ever seen.
He reverently swooshed down a small slope to the center so he could take it all in, the mountains, the blue sky,
the silence, but when he slid down the final hill, he realized he wasn’t alone.
Prince Alex stood staring at the mountains.
He turned to go, but Alex said, “I hear you back there. This isn’t my personal mountain. You’re welcome to stay.”
Dean winced. “Are you sure?”
Obviously recognizing Dean’s voice, Alex turned to face him. “It’s you.”
Alex might have forgiven Dean, his country might have made an alliance with Dean’s company, but he’d also told Dean they’d never be friends.
Which Dean totally understood. He quickly said, “You stay. I’ll go.”
But Alex shook his head. “No. As I said at dinner the night you came to the palace, we can’t avoid each other.” He laughed. “Especially not now when you’ve made agreements with my wife.”
Dean took one foot off his board and used it to flip it off the ground and into his hands.
Alex frowned. “Still a pro I see.”
“It was kind of like riding a bike.”
“Good.”
“Yes, thank you.”
The world became eerily quiet. It was odd seeing Alex in a parka rather than a dark suit or a tux. Dean said, “This is a far cry from the Mediterranean.”
Alex gazed around at the wall of mountain on the horizon. “Yes. It is. But it’s beautiful here. In a lot of ways, Grennady feels more like home to me than Xaviera.”
“Princess Eva is a wonderful person.”
“Most of the people in Grennady are wonderful. They’re kind. Loyal. Fiercely protective of their own.”
“Why do I get the feeling you’re trying to tell me something?”
“Because Eva and I are worried that you’re going to hurt Kristen.”
Dean winced. “You don’t have to worry about Kristen. I scared her off at the reception last week.”
Alex took a cautious step toward him. “You did?”
Dean shook his head. “I shouldn’t tell you this, but it’s easy to see Kristen’s the kind of woman who wants everything. Not just a career but kids. A family. I’m not that guy.”
Alex frowned. “You don’t want a family?”
He did. He desperately did. After two visits with Kristen, her brother and her parents, he wanted a real home, real Christmases, a wife to share his dreams, kids to give his life warmth and meaning...
Dean raised his hands. “What difference does it make? She wants something I can’t give her.”
“You can’t have children?”
“No.” He shook his head. “It’s not that. I didn’t have much of a childhood.”
“Being a genius?”
“And being raised by someone who was tired. I had no father. No male influences. And my work takes up most of my time. Kristen deserves somebody named Sven who will be what she needs.”
“So you scared her off?”
He shrugged.
“Well, this explains why she’s barely spoken this week.”
Dean’s heart thumped. “You’ve seen her?”
“We tried to set up two meetings but she wouldn’t come. Said she was busy with Christmas prep with her mom and we accepted that.” Alex’s eyes narrowed. “But that wasn’t it. She was probably at home licking her wounds.”
Dean said, “I’m sorry.”
“Really?”
“Of course. I love her. Everything about her. But she deserves better.”
Alex put his hands on his hips and sighed heavily as he looked at the sky for a few seconds. “You are a crazy weird man, Dean Suminski. I shouldn’t help you but I’m going to.”
“Help me?”
He took a long breath, glanced at the mountains, then looked at Dean again. “It doesn’t matter if you think you’re made to have kids or not, marriage material or not. If you’ve found someone who makes you want all those things, then you don’t let the chance go by.”
Alex shifted his ski poles. “You work things out. You talk about things. And in the end, everything comes together.”
Hating that assessment, Dean scoffed. “Like destiny? Or maybe magic?”
Alex laughed, pushed his goggles over his eyes. “It isn’t magic. It’s work.” Using his poles he swooshed himself down the slope, then stopped and in a spray of snow faced Dean again. “It’s a lot of work,” he called up the mountain. “But it’s worth it. Don’t let your chance pass you by. Because if you really love her, and I think you do, you’re going to regret it.”
* * *
Kristen had all but decided not to go to the royal family’s Christmas Eve party when her mom appeared in her room. “You’re not dressed.”
Kristen sat up on her bed, saw her mom in a bright red Christmas gown and her eyebrows rose. “You are dressed. What’s up?”
“Your dad and I were invited to this year’s Christmas party too.”
“Really?”
“Something about my position with you in your charity.” She sat on the bed and nudged Kristen’s shoulder. “Thanks for putting your mom on your board.”
Kristen laughed. “You’re one of the smartest people I know. You might not be able to make a million-dollar contribution, but I think we need you.”
“So, since I’m such a smart person, I’m going to give you a piece of advice.”
“I’m not going to the party.”
“I know you don’t want to see Dean, but your days of cocooning yourself in here because you’re upset over a guy dumping you are done. You don’t have that luxury. You need to go to this party.” She rose from the bed. “Even if you go late, you need to go. If nothing else, you need to show your benefactors that in spite of being upset you will do your job.”
Kristen sighed.
Her mother headed out the door. “Your dad and I are leaving now. We don’t want to miss a minute. I’d thought we’d all ride together but we don’t want to wait for you to dress.”
She laughed as her mom disappeared from sight, but when she was gone, she squeezed her eyes shut. Her mother was right. She needed to put in an appearance. She needed to look strong and happy because her charity was coming together. She couldn’t let losing one man, one man who had used her, cause her to crumble.
She had to be strong.
Unfortunately, because she’d convinced herself it was okay to stay home, she hadn’t shopped that week and she had nothing to wear.
She suddenly missed Stella.
Then she saw the black gown hanging in the back of her closet. Memories of how fun that party had been caused her heart to stutter and she almost decided she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t see Dean. She couldn’t face the fact that he’d used her.
But as quickly as she thought that, she realized she had to see Dean. She had to prove to herself, to him and to everybody that nothing would keep her from doing her duty for her charity.
* * *
A quick trip through the receiving line at the royal family’s Christmas Eve party gained Dean entrance to the ballroom. Huge silver and gold ornaments hung from the high ceiling with tinsel that arched between each bell and ball and then looped over to the next. Glittering crystal vases held red rose centerpieces on the round tables. The table for the royal family was awash with twinkling white lights. Replete with the scents of roast goose, good wine and sweet treats, the room smelled like heaven.
Dean saw every style and color of gown, glittering necklaces and every hairdo from simple to fancy. But he didn’t seen Kristen, and he wondered, as Alex had said, if he hadn’t let his chance pass him by.
He’d thought through everything Alex had said and knew he was right. Dean did love Kristen. He was afraid. But he’d spent most of his childhood alone, then ten years unable to trust, and he couldn’t do that anymore. He wanted everything Kristen had to offer.
&nb
sp; When he still hadn’t seen her at dinner, he glanced at the entry one more time, worried that he’d hurt her enough that she’d decided to miss this ball. King Mason had made a Christmas toast. Dancing had begun. She’d be here by now, even if she only intended to put in an appearance for her royal family’s sake.
When he saw her parents mingling without her, his breath stuttered and the truth settled in. She wasn’t coming.
Jason walked up to him with two flutes of champagne. “Here. We need to toast.”
“Toast?”
“Our success today. With that game going to beta testers a week early, I think we proved we’re everything we said we were.”
Dean laughed in spite of himself. “I guess we did.”
“I thought I’d lost you to the pretty blonde, but in the end you came back stronger, if that’s possible.”
Dean’s brow furrowed. “Wait. What?”
“You and Kristen. The thing between you was pulling you away. I had to put a wedge between you.”
Dean just stared at him for a second. “First, you didn’t put a wedge between us. You said some things that made me realize I might not be good for her. But in the end it was my choice.” Not that he was proud of it, but he didn’t like the idea that Jason seemed to think he controlled him. “Second, if you ever do anything like that again, you’ll be fired so fast your head will spin.” Even as he said that, he wondered what he was still doing at this party. He handed the champagne glass back to Jason. “Now, I’m going to go find her and fix this.”
Oddly, Jason trying to take credit for breaking him and Kristen up only made Dean stronger. Maybe he’d needed to think through everything he had in the past week before he could make a real commitment. Maybe he’d needed to run back to his fortress of work to realize it was a cold, empty place without the woman he loved. Whatever the reason, he was back now. Stronger. Smarter. He would win her back.
Just when he was ready to get his coat and call a cab to go to the Anderson farmhouse, the ballroom doors opened and Dean’s head snapped toward them.
