by Marie Medina
He closed his eyes and tried to calm his racing mind. He felt as though he had done something wrong now. He'd invaded her sanctuary and spied on her. He'd witnessed a personal, intimate moment he'd had no right to see. He'd spent ten years protecting her, yet now he had violated her trust in the worst way. She would never love him the way she could love another man, a handsome man who could give her a life that went beyond his own doorstep. As he sat there he vowed he would go on protecting her for the rest of her life, especially from himself. He would never pressure her into feeling something she didn't. He'd been fooling himself these past few days, twisting her words and actions to convince himself that he had a chance. It would stop now. He would never tell her things she did not want to hear, never express feelings that would make her uncomfortable. The love she already gave him was so sweet and precious he would not risk it because his traitorous body and heart wanted more.
She settled down on the blanket and began reading, and he knew he was stuck there until she went back to the house. He leaned against the wall and watched her as he told himself repeatedly that he had to give up all dreams of anything more. Despite the dull ache in his chest, watching her read gave him a measure of joy that surprised him.
Dominic felt ready to explode by the time she left. He waited ten minutes so he could be sure she made it back to the house long before he did. If she saw him coming out of the woods, she would ask where he'd been, and he did not trust his own face not to give him away. He was wracked by both guilt and lust as he moved through the woods. He slipped into the house quietly. From the foyer he could see her walking down the long driveway to check the mail, which gave him more than enough time to get to his room.
He closed the door quietly and kicked his shoes off. He would go mad if he didn't come soon. All he could think about was watching her touch herself, and the sounds of her sighs and moans of pleasure filled his ears. He didn't care whom she'd been thinking about. He had never seen anything so beautiful. He unzipped his pants and freed his throbbing erection. He sat on the edge of the bed and slid his pants off before pulling his shirt over his head. He stroked himself slowly as he reclined on the bed. What if he had made his presence known? The idea stoked the need in his groin. If he couldn't have her, his own fantasies would have to keep him satisfied. He could never let her become aware of his desire for her.
He pictured the scene in every detail. She stroked her clit, and he came out of the darkness toward her. He knelt and put his hands on her knees. She opened her eyes and gasped, but instead of being embarrassed or repulsed, she smiled up at him and reached for him as if they were lovers. He bent to kiss her as she continued to pleasure herself. She turned her face, and he kissed her cheek and neck. He moved his mouth down her body, lifting her shirt to brush his lips over her hot skin. He continued until he reached her pussy, and then he pushed her fingers away to taste her. She expressed her pleasure in gasps and sighs as he worked his mouth over her. He had her close to coming, and she tasted so sweet. She told him that no one else could make her come the way he did.
His eyes snapped open when he felt a soft mouth close over the head of his cock. He sat up and found Sophia kneeling between his legs wearing nothing but her bra and panties.
“Sophia! What are you doing here?” His mind told him to move away from her, but his body refused to act. Her hot lips and searching tongue made his blood go molten.
She swirled her tongue around the shaft and sat back. “I came to talk to you about the email, and I couldn't resist coming in when I saw you.” She rested her hand on his thigh and licked the underside of his cock.
He inched back and away from her. He pulled the blanket from the foot of the bed to cover his erection. “You shouldn't be here.”
“Why not?”
She crawled onto the bed beside him.
“I'm supposed to protect you, not take advantage of you.” He'd pictured her in his bed so many times that actually seeing her there felt surreal. He wanted to pull her underneath his body and never let her leave again. “You need to go.”
“I don't need protection. I need this.”
She slid one trembling hand over his thigh and under the blanket. Her fingers brushed his erection.
“Weren't you thinking about me?”
“Yes, but it's wrong. I shouldn't think of you that way.” She gripped him, and he nearly lost control then and there. “Leave, Sophia.”
“You keep saying you want me to go, but you haven't moved.” She began pumping his cock. “Quit protecting me. I need to be touched.”
He made himself stand and move away from her. He had to get away. The sight and scent of her would make him do something they would both regret. She rushed around him to keep him from escaping to the bathroom. She pressed her sweet body against him and pleaded with her eyes.
“Dominic, that email broke my heart. I couldn't stop crying.”
He cringed. “I'm sorry I had to tell you all of that. You needed to know.”
“And now I need you to make love with me. Don't push me away when I need you the most.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Her fire rekindled his own. The need to possess her surged though him, and he wrapped his arms around her and pressed her to him.
When she broke the kiss, he looked into her eyes. “I pray this is truly what you want.” He swept her into his arms and carried her back to the bed. “You're not leaving my arms now.” If she needed comfort, she could have it. He'd give it to her as often as she craved it. Her palpable desire told him her needs had been neglected far too long. She was a passionate woman who needed to be loved this way as often as possible. He'd never denied her anything before, and he found he couldn't deny himself now.
He placed her on the bed and covered her body with his. She felt so good beneath him. Her hungry mouth was all over him, covering his neck and chest with kisses. She kept her eyes closed, and he tried to push Stephen from his mind. If she was imagining making love with him the way she had been earlier, Dominic didn't care. He would love her and please her with his whole being for as long as she would let him. He hoped she wouldn't leave him afterward.
He unhooked her bra to expose her breasts. He cupped them and took one perfect pink nipple between his teeth. She made the sexiest sounds as he teased her with his tongue before raking his teeth over the delicate bud. He kissed her stomach and caressed her smooth skin. He stroked her through her panties, and he groaned at how damp they were. He eased them off and touched her, sliding one finger into her hot pussy. He knew he had to ask before he went any further.
“Sophia, are you—”
“Yes, Dominic, I'm a virgin.”
She sat up and looked into his eyes.
“But I'm a virgin with a drawer full of sex toys, so you aren't going to hurt me. And don't you dare stop because of this. I can't tell you how much I need this.”
She arched and clenched around his finger.
He let it slide deeper, exploring so he could find all her most sensitive spots. He rubbed his thumb over her clit and bent his head to her breasts again. He could feel the truth of her words in every move she made. She'd gone years without a man's touch. Again he blamed himself. She'd probably been afraid to date because of how protective he was. He shifted her on the bed and spread her legs so he could lie between them. He covered her pussy with his mouth, and the joy of tasting her overwhelmed him. He showed her no mercy, her cries urging him on. He spread her and thrust his tongue inside her as far as he could. He sucked and nibbled her clit until she arched off the bed. Her breath came in gasps, and he felt her body tense as he made her come. She tangled her fingers in his hair and pressed his face against her, saying yes repeatedly.
He flipped her onto her stomach and hovered over her. He kissed her face, neck, and hair as she lay limp after her release. He wanted her to open her eyes and look at him so he could see the pleasure there, but he wouldn't force her to do that. In this position he cou
ld love her without making her look at him. He ran his hand over her pussy. She was so wet he knew he'd slide right into her. He didn't have any condoms so he'd have to be careful. He knew it would be so easy to get lost in the sweetness of her body.
He moved into position and lifted her hips so he could penetrate. He sighed as she took him into her body. He met with a little resistance, but she shifted under him to ease it. His cock slid deeper, and everything fell away. He felt nothing else but her as they moved together. He forgot about all the darkness in his mind as he loved her. It had been over two decades since he made love to a woman, but she had been worth the wait. Sophia had brought so much light into his life, and he had only repaid her with a dark and reclusive, if privileged, existence. He thrust with more vigor, aiming his strokes high. He wanted to go on and on giving her pleasure for hours. She came again, gripping the sheets and crying out. He nearly came as she milked his cock, but he held back to increase her pleasure. He pulled out to make sure he wouldn't come inside her, and to his surprise she flipped over to face him.
She opened her arms and spread her legs for him. He'd pictured her that way so many times, naked and eager for his touch. He went into her arms and slid back into her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and thrust against him. She giggled as she kissed his neck.
“Told you I needed this. It didn't hurt at all.”
She brought her lips to his.
“And I still want more.”
“I can deny you nothing,” he whispered, his eyes on her lips. He couldn't meet her gaze. How could she stand looking at him? Running her hands all over his body? His skin tingled under her fingers, and he began to thrust again.
“Look at me, Dominic.”
He finally looked into her eyes, and the love he saw there astonished him. He stroked into her as she caressed his hair and face. He closed his eyes, confused and even a little scared.
“I want to please you,” she said, her lips hot against his. “Teach me how.”
He came with a jolt. The feeling of complete euphoria took him as he spilled into her. The pleasure tore through his body and left him weak. He groaned and covered her face in kisses, but when she giggled beneath him he realized what he had done. He froze above her, unable to speak. How could he do that? He knew the answer though. Her words and sweet touch had thwarted his own will and sent him over the edge. This moment would haunt him forever. He never should have doubted her power over him, never should have touched her.
“Dominic, what's wrong?”
He opened his eyes and rolled off of her. He covered his face with his hands. “I'm sorry.”
She pushed his hands away and turned his head toward her. “Dominic?”
He looked up into her concerned face. “I didn't mean to.”
“I don't care, Dominic.”
She ran her hand over his chest.
“I wanted you to come inside me.”
He stared up at her. “Why?”
Her mouth fell open, but she remained silent for a moment. “Why? Have you been somewhere else the past half-hour? Dominic, I've wanted you for years. I wanted you long before I realized I'd fallen in love with you.”
His heart thudded in his chest. He sat upright and searched her face. “What did you say?”
She blushed. “I know you may not feel the same, but what just happened was incredible. I think we're amazing together. We've both been afraid of this for years. Don't deny it, Dominic. You want me, even if you aren't in love with me.”
He swallowed, unable to find the right words. Finally, he said, “Sophia, I love you with all my heart. I can't believe it isn't obvious every single time I look at you.”
She laughed. “I kept convincing myself I was only seeing what I wanted to see.”
“So you actually wanted me? No one else? You wanted to make love to me?”
She looked puzzled. “Of course! That's why I did make love to you not two minutes ago. Who else would I want?”
“You said that email broke your heart.”
She frowned at him. “It did. I meant I knew remembering all that stuff must have been painful. Stephen's a shit. He's all surface and no substance. He has no soul. I caught him in a couple of lies last night before I got your email. He was too drunk to remember, but he tried his best to turn me against you. He said horrible things. I wanted to slap him this morning.”
He tensed. “What did he do?”
“He said something about you, something cruel.”
She shook her head, but then she furrowed her brow and looked into his eyes.
“Wait. You thought I was thinking of him while we made love? You thought I came to you because I was upset over him?”
“Yes. I thought you were hurt. I thought you wanted to make love so I could comfort you, so you wouldn't feel so frustrated.” He cleared his throat. “Over him.”
Her frown transformed to a scowl. “Because he's handsome.”
He nodded.
“That's what you think of me?”
The hurt in her voice made him wince. He reached for her as he shook his head. “No, Sophia. I just—”
“Just what?”
She pulled away from his touch.
“You can't deny I'm not easy on the eyes. I thought he might have sparked your interest last night. I'm sorry. It was wrong, and I should have known better, but I've wanted you for so long. I told myself I couldn't pass up the chance to touch you, no matter what the circumstances.”
She folded her arms over her breasts. “Dominic, you're not telling me something. You sent me that email to explain your behavior and to warn me. You knew his true nature, and even if you thought I wouldn't see through him right away, you had to know I wouldn't want someone like him.”
Why had he said anything? They'd just made love for the first time, and they should have been wrapped in each other's arms enjoying the afterglow right now. “I can't seem to get anything right with you. You may hate me after I tell you. I almost wish you didn't know me so well.”
“What? Tell me. I need to know what convinced you I would make love to you while thinking of another man.”
“I was in the cave this morning. I was exploring to make sure it was still safe, and...I saw you.”
Her cheeks flamed. “You saw me? Doing what?”
“I saw you touching yourself. I should have turned away, but you were so beautiful. I heard you say that you enjoyed watching someone. I assumed you meant Stephen jogging this morning.”
“No, I didn't mean Stephen.” She looked into his eyes. “I meant you.”
“Me? You enjoy watching me? I find that hard to believe.”
She crawled over to him and brought her lips close to his.
“As hard as I found it when I saw you touching yourself? When you came and said my name, called me your sweet girl?”
“What?”
“Yesterday. I went looking for you after you pulled away from me. I was so sick of you running away from me. I wanted to tell you how I felt about us, and then I got more than I bargained for. I did enjoy watching you. I could hardly believe my eyes as I finally saw you letting go of your precious control.”
Her voice had grown hard, and he didn't know how to respond. “I wish you hadn't seen that. I'm sorry.”
“Stop apologizing!” She got off the bed and began to get dressed. “You see me, and it's beautiful, but I see you and it's something you're ashamed of?”
“What can I say that won't make you angry? You don't want me to apologize or feel ashamed. What do you want?”
“I want you to tell me it was wrong to make love to me when you thought I was fantasizing about your brother.”
“I already did. I said I was sorry.”
She zipped her shorts up, shaking her head. She pulled her shirt on and rounded on him. “Not wrong because of me. Wrong because of you.”
“What?”
“Do you hate yourself this much? You're in love with me, and you took me to your bed believing I was g
etting off thinking about your asshole brother. Why not literally rip your heart out and let me play soccer with it?”
He'd never seen her this angry before, and he had no idea how to handle it. “Sophia, you haven't been inside my head the past few days. Ever since you said you wanted me to go on this trip, ever since you said I was your favorite person in the whole world, I've been allowing myself to hope. Before that I never dreamed you might care for me. If I'd known you were in love with me nothing would have kept us apart.”
“So before you just jerked off thinking about me? Instead of being a man and showing me how you felt?”
“Why would you want a man like me when you could have dozens of men like that?” He snapped his fingers. “I'm a scarred recluse with no life. You deserve better.”
“Whatever you are is your own fault. You've spent two decades feeling sorry for yourself. As much as I love you, I can't be with a man who loathes himself so much.” She went to the door and opened it before turning back. “Don't you dare follow me. I can't even look at you right now. That's what you want, isn't it? You want me to be repulsed so you can watch me from afar and live in your fantasies. You prefer that to real feelings it seems.”
