This time Anna heeded what Jack had said and stared at him in astonishment. ‘Marry him? Of course not. Alas, Jack, I have to confess that I had not heard of the Comte d’Azay until Hal spoke of him to me when you rescued me from his assault. I knew soon after that I had to come to France and find him, however dangerous it might be.’
For a moment Jack could not grasp what she was saying and struggled to control his irritation. He was completely baffled. ‘You say Hal told you about him? I don’t understand. What did he say to you about him?’
Her heart was beating heavily for she knew the time had come to tell Jack the truth, if she was to have his continuing help. She dropped her voice and said, ‘That the Comte is my father.’
There was a stunned silence.
‘That’s impossible!’ exclaimed Jack.
Anna’s face fell. ‘What do you mean it—it’s impossible?’
‘Raoul’s far too young to be your father.’
Anna’s spirits were plummeting rapidly. ‘I don’t understand. He is the Comte d’Azay?’ She pronounced the name the way Jack had.
‘Aye. But Raoul and I are of a similar age, so unless…’ There was a sudden arrested expression on Jack’s face.
‘Unless what?’ cried Anna, unable to bear the thought that she had after all come on a wild goose chase.
Jack laughed. ‘Surely you can reason it out yourself, Anna? If Raoul, a man of my age, is now the Comte d’Azay, then…?’ He cocked a dark eyebrow.
She closed her eyes tightly and then opened them again. ‘You’re saying my father is dead,’ she whispered.
‘If he was your father,’ said Jack, feeling sorry for her. ‘How can you believe aught Hal says when you already know him for a slanderer?’
‘Davy said it, too,’ murmured Anna in a strained voice.
Jack frowned. ‘That sheds an altogether different light on the matter.’ He stared at her and then cleared his throat. ‘It perhaps also explains why I keep thinking you reminded me of someone—and it was not an ap Rowan.’
He saw her wince. ‘That thought pains you.’
‘Of course it pains me,’ she murmured, toying with her sore finger. She was now vaguely aware of the sailors on the deck and wondered if they had overheard any of the conversation. ‘Wouldn’t it hurt you if you discovered you were not a Milburn after all? That your family had deceived you about who you were—and then to be told by the man you called “brother” that you had bad blood. I am extremely fond of Owain and Davy, their wives and their children. Then suddenly I learned that they are not kin to me. I no longer belonged.’ Her voice broke and she put her hands up to her face and her shoulders shook.
Jack struggled with the urge to reach out and touch her. ‘You know that’s nonsense,’ he said harshly. ‘Please, don’t cry! I understand now why you were prepared to take so many risks to reach France. Obviously you had an overly sentimental notion that your real father would welcome you with open arms.’
She lowered her hands to reveal a tear-stained face. ‘No, that is not true! Although I confess I did hope that my mother and the Comte cared for each other deeply and that I was born of love.’
His face softened. ‘That could possibly be true. There are marriages of convenience where either the wife or husband are deeply unhappy and they look elsewhere for love.’ He was thinking of Monique and the man she had been forced to marry.
Anna scrubbed at her face and felt a little less sad. ‘Raoul,’ she murmured. ‘You deem there is a likeness between us?’
‘I think the similarity I see is to his cousin Francesca.’
‘I have a cousin, too?’ A faint smile lightened her face.
‘Aye, but…’ Jack hesitated, not wanting to see that tentative smile vanish. His eyes lighted on the tiny scar on her cheek. Anna had been through much grief and disappointment and he was regretting already that he had to make her face up to certain possibilities. He leaned towards her and took her hand. ‘Anna, you must realise that it is more than six years since I have seen them and a lot can change during that time. You also have to consider that, if they are safe and well, they might not wish to meet you.’
He hated himself as he watched the smile die in her face and a shadow darken her eyes. ‘You might as well say it,’ she said in a tight small voice. ‘I am the bastard child of the other woman.’
Jack felt a stab of pain in the region of his heart as he was reminded of his alliance with Monique and the child they had conceived outside marriage. ‘The sin is not yours, but that of the church,’ he said harshly, dropping her hand.
Anna was taken aback by his vehemence. ‘You blame the church?’
‘Aye.’ For a moment he was very close to telling her the truth about his dead lover and the son whom he regarded as an innocent in the whole affair.
She looked at him oddly. ‘My thoughts are all in a muddle. I don’t know what to do any more. I wonder how my father died. Has Raoul ever said aught to you about him?’
‘He died in England,’ replied Jack, relieved that the moment of temptation had passed. ‘There was some mystery about it and that’s why Raoul went to Wales, where he had kin.’ He added hastily, ‘Don’t look at me like that. I don’t know any more than what I’ve said because I have not seen him since.’
She swallowed the tightness in her throat. ‘Forgive me, Jack. I don’t want to harass you—but surely you can understand why I am curious about Raoul? Can you tell me more about him?’
‘We used to meet at numerous fairs throughout Europe and kept in touch by messenger through our agents,’ he said, easing back on the keg. ‘He was only eight years old when he inherited the title and scarcely remembers his father because he was seldom at home.’ Jack really did not want to say more about Raoul. He was a reminder of happier times. ‘Why don’t you forget you were ever told the Comte was your father? Go on a pilgrimage,’ he urged. ‘That will keep your body and mind occupied and do your soul good. You’ll meet new people and see sights that you’ve never seen before. You’ll enjoy doing so.’
She looked at him in astonishment. ‘You amaze me, Jack. I thought you were against my going on a pilgrimage. You said to do so without a trustworthy companion was a huge risk. Admit that I’m an embarrassment to you and, now you’ve discovered I’ve lied to you, you just want to be rid of me as soon as possible.’ She paused for breath, but not long enough to give him time to interrupt. ‘Yet, I suppose you still feel duty bound to protect me, so you will make certain you find that trustworthy companion. No doubt you’re worrying about what Owain might say if aught were to happen to me whilst in your charge?’ She shot him a challenging look. ‘Well, you don’t have to concern yourself about that. When I return to England, I will tell him that the blame was all mine, whatever happens to me.’
‘Will you shut up, woman!’ He glowered at her because so much of what she had just said was true. He had to get rid of her, but he did worry about her safety. He seriously didn’t want any harm to come to her. The thought caused a wrenching in his gut.
‘I’m right, aren’t I?’ Her chin quivered and she bit down hard on her nether lip. ‘Just tell me one more thing, Jack, and I’ll leave you alone.’ She swallowed. ‘Remind me again of the name of the town where Raoul lives?’
‘Why?’ he snapped.
‘I think you know.’
‘Vitré.’
‘And is it in Normandy, too?’
‘Brittany,’ he said shortly, deciding he really must remove himself from her company before he made any rash commitments.
Anna looked thoughtfully. ‘Then we are not far away from it.’
‘It’s miles away. At least two days’ journeying.’ He rose to his feet. ‘I suggest you put what Hal said out of your mind and tell yourself that you are the Lady Anna Fenwick, née Anna ap Rowan.’
Anna gave him a glacial stare. ‘It seems a waste of all my efforts to get here if I do what you say. I am half-French. I have a half-brother whom I would like to meet.’
&nb
sp; Jack’s expression was uncompromising. ‘Give this up, Anna. I will not help you,’ he said firmly.
She sprang to her feet. ‘Did I ask for your further assistance? Although what harm it will do you, I don’t know. Surely you want to know if your friend is alive or not? I know he might reject me, but if I could just see him then I will be content.’
Jack’s jaw set. ‘I doubt it. You’ll want to speak to him about your father. You’ll want to know what happened to him.’
She flushed and said softly, ‘How well you know me, Jack.’
‘I wish I’d never met you!’
Anna flinched. ‘Obviously.’
He took a deep breath and his chest swelled. ‘Why do you always have an answer? Do not think by goading me I will help you.’
‘So be it,’ she said, tilting her chin. ‘I will trust to God and St Christopher to protect me. After all, you with all your knowledge and friends abroad managed to get yourself abducted by a fellow merchant, whilst Kate survived and returned home safe.’
Immediately, Anna knew that she had gone too far and shrank back as he brought his face close to hers. ‘You know naught about why I was taken captive. It certainly wasn’t by a fellow merchant, but was an act of revenge on the part of a man who wanted me dead. Unfortunately for him, I refused to die. You’ve made up my mind for me, Anna. Once Peter has set me down in France and taken on fresh water and stores, he will take you back to England.’
She was aghast. ‘No! Please, Jack, don’t do this to me. I have come too far to meekly return home. What if there is a storm in the Channel and the ship sinks and I drown? If I am to die, then I would rather it happened whilst I was trying to do what fate dictates.’
‘Then you are a fool! I wash my hands of you.’ He walked away.
She leapt up and grabbed his arm. ‘If that means I can do what I want, then that suits me fine,’ she said defiantly. ‘Just set me ashore in France. I will seek out a religious house where I can lodge. I will ask the abbot or the reverend mother about making a pilgrimage but I will also ask directions to this town you mentioned: Vitré.’
Jack removed her hand from his sleeve and crushed it in his own, aware that his mariners were carefully trying to avoid looking at them. ‘Why are you so set on having your own way without regard for anyone else’s plans?’ he hissed. ‘Surely you realise that I cannot allow you to do this alone? Consider a moment if Raoul’s mother is still alive. How is she going to feel if you arrive on her doorstep, saying you’re her dead husband’s bastard daughter?’
Anna suddenly felt sick. It really was remiss of her, not giving thought to Raoul’s mother. ‘You really believe in plunging in the knife, don’t you, Jack? Why couldn’t you have suggested that she is dead and Raoul is alive and married with children? You have a tendency to look on the dark side of life.’
A line of colour flushed along his cheekbones. ‘Is that so surprising?’
She did not answer, but wrenched her hand out of his hold and walked away.
He stared after her, watching the sensual sway of her hips beneath the cloak. She was a stubborn, irritating woman and he half-wished he had not rescued her that day she had fallen from her horse. He could not deny she was driving him to distraction—but he could not afford to be diverted from his goal.
The only time he and Monique had quarrelled was when she had refused to leave France and go to England with him. He should have insisted, but had known he could not force her. She’d suffered enough from overbearing males in her life.
But Anna—it seemed they did nothing but quarrel. She was infuriating! She was also brave, generous and intelligent, but far too inquisitive. He feared that one day soon she would probe too far and, out of all patience with her, he would blurt out the truth to why there must be a parting of their ways. It occurred to him that she would never have submitted and done what Monique’s husband had forced her to do for his masochistic pleasure.
‘Where are you in your thoughts, Jack?’
He hadn’t notice Anna returning. He blinked and stared into her flushed face and scowled. ‘Here you go again: questions, questions.’
‘I thought I’d best let you know that I will go ashore in France with or without your help, even if I have to swim ashore.’
He was incredulous. ‘I don’t believe you can swim.’
‘I had three older brothers and—’ She stopped abruptly and pain flashed in her face. ‘Don’t put me to the test, Jack.’ Her voice was uneven. ‘I have had two gowns already ruined by seawater. I don’t wish to swim naked when I go ashore.’
Almost he could picture her. ‘Have you no shame, my lady, making such remarks to me?’ he growled.
Anna blushed a deep crimson. ‘I said I didn’t wish to go naked,’ she croaked, a stark expression in her eyes.
At that moment a crewman approached and, clearing his throat loudly, informed Jack that supper was ready and did he wish it to be served right away?
Jack nodded and signalled to her to sit down. He sat opposite her again. ‘I don’t know what I’m going to do with you, Anna.’
Her colour subsided. ‘I do have a plan. One that might meet with your approval.’
‘Is it feasible?’ he mocked.
Her mouth tightened and several moments passed before she said, ‘Let’s presume that Raoul is alive and at home in Vitré. I will take two of my parchments and approach him about selling them for me.’ She paused as if expecting him to speak, but he only stared at her from narrowed eyes. ‘I know I allotted you that task, so I will see you do not lose out by my getting Raoul to sell them for me. What I want from you, Jack, is a letter of introduction. Then I will hand him your letter, making some excuse as to why you can’t be there. You will say in your message that you have recommended him to me as a merchant to be trusted to sell them on my behalf.’ She gave a hesitant smile. ‘It means Raoul and I could become acquainted, purely on a business basis to begin with—I will soon know if I would be welcome into his family or not. If not, then I will not make known my relationship to him.’
‘It’s not a bad idea,’ said Jack grudgingly.
‘But not good?’ She sighed. ‘What’s wrong with it?’
‘You’re an English lady. Why should you come all the way to France to sell your parchments to him? You could do it in York, London, Chester even…’
She said ruefully, ‘You’re right, of course. But I’m sure with your knowledge of people and merchandising you can think of a way of explaining that in the letter, Jack.’
‘You don’t have to try and sweeten me up with flattery,’ he said, drumming his fingers on the plank table. ‘Who is to escort you? Even if you were to travel with a band of pilgrims, if it became known you had such costly items on your person, then—’
‘I am hardly going to boast about them,’ interrupted Anna, surprised that he now appeared willing to allow her to have her way.
‘Of course not. You do realise if you are to travel through France as a pilgrim you will need to have some knowledge about such shrines that a devout pilgrim would visit.’
She wrinkled her dainty nose. ‘Kate told me of one or two, but I’m afraid they have slipped my mind.’
‘You could mention Rocamadour,’ Jack advised. ‘Although it would take you out of your way.’
‘Rocamadour?’ she queried.
‘When I first visited France with my father, he took me to see a cave where there were primitive paintings on the walls and—’ He stopped short as their supper was brought to them. She would have pressed him to continue because she was interested in what he had to say, but it was obvious that he now wanted to eat instead of talking, so she gave her attention to her food and wine.
Once they had finished eating and were drinking more wine, she said with interest, ‘I would hear more of Rocamadour, Jack. Tell me, was the cave you mentioned that of a saint?’
Jack was prepared to talk about the shrine. ‘There is another cave where the hermit, St Amadour, lived that is closer to Roca
madour. Indeed, the town is named after him. Rocamadour is difficult to get to as it is built on a cliff face high above a gorge. To see it hanging there as the sun rises is a truly wondrous sight. The statue of the Black Virgin is said to have been carved by the saint.’
‘And if I am to be a truly earnest pilgrim, are there any other shrines I should know about?’ She smiled.
‘The only other shrine of renown that I have visited is in Cologne, but that’s another story,’ murmured Jack.
Anna thought she’d like to hear that story some time, but it was obvious from his tone that he did not want to talk of that experience at the moment. No doubt he was tired after a worrying day with the weather. She was also weary and needed to rest. She felt oddly depressed at the thought of being parted from him. But surely she could manage without him? No doubt he would advise her what to do with her baggage and lute. If the pilgrimage involved a lot of walking, then she would be overburdened if she took her instrument with her. Although it might be possible for her to hire or buy a horse. Then she remembered that the only coin she had with her was English.
She glanced across at Jack and caught him looking at her. For a moment their gazes held and her pulse quickened. What was he thinking? Possibly that the sooner he was rid of her, then the quicker he could get on with the business that had brought him to France. Maybe she should leave asking if he could exchange her English coin for French until the morning.
Jack rolled over on his pallet, having woken from a nightmare. Images crowded into his head and he was concerned that Anna should have invaded his dreams again. He supposed it was not surprising, considering their conversation about pilgrimages. Attacks on pilgrims were not uncommon and women especially were considered fair game for the slave market by many ruthless and dishonest men. She was no flaxen-haired beauty but that reddish-gold shade of hair was unusual enough to be extremely attractive to an Eastern potentate. He had seen European women being sold in the market place in Arabia and knew that the fairest of them ended up in harems.
June Francis Page 10
