Looking up from his overflowing bowl of Cap’n Crunch, he says, “Chloe isn’t exactly a quiet crier. But I’m used to it at this point. I don’t have anywhere to be, so I can just sleep all day.”
“Sorry about that. I think it’s just hitting her a little harder today. Stuff like your first day of senior year is important to girls like Chloe. It’s the first major life moment that her parents are missing.”
“I get it, dude. I haven’t said anything because she’s going through shit right now. I’m not a major asshole, or at least I try not to always be.”
Oddly enough, I think that’s the first normal conversation we’ve had in a long time. The Hartley brothers don’t have heart-to-hearts, as funny as that sounds. Honestly, if it weren’t for the band, I don’t think we’d be as close as we are. That’s about all we have in common. The silence drags on, and although it isn’t uncomfortable for me, Jax can never have it be silent for too long. He always has to fill the silence in some way.
One night when I was watching TV, Jax came in, and just like any older brother he took the remote and changed the channel. I thought about arguing, but I was too exhausted and went with it. Five minutes after he found something, I could hear mumbling. I looked over and his mouth was moving. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, dude. I’m not doing anything. What are you doing?”
“Yes you are. Wait…are you saying all of the lines?”
“No. Why would I do that? That’s weird.”
After another five minutes, he started up again. He was oblivious to the fact he was doing it, or he couldn’t hold out any longer. Either way, it was some pretty funny shit.
“Do you think the Flash can turn his dick into a human vibrator during sex?”
And there it is. What the fuck? I stare at him incredulously. “Where do you come up with this shit?”
He holds up his juice glass, and I notice it’s adorned with the members of the Justice League. “C’mon, just think about it.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. I guess that makes sense.”
“Dude, that would be awesome.”
I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation right now. “Just don’t tell the ladies your theory.”
“Why not?”
“Because then they’d be disappointed in your lack of vibrating abilities.”
“Trust me, brother, no chick has ever left my bed disappointed.”
“Dude, I don’t want to know how any girl feels leaving your bed. That’s between you and whoever your latest hookup is.” He opens his mouth to say something, but Chloe walks in the room and he shuts it right back up. I don’t know what was going on between Chloe and Jax over the summer, but it stopped after that night. The two of them don’t even talk to each other anymore. Or more like Jax doesn’t talk to Chloe. I think he feels responsible for the accident, but I’ve told him time and again it wasn’t his fault.
On the nights she doesn’t drink herself into a drunken stupor, Chloe tosses and turns in her sleep. I’m there every time just to hold her and soothe her into a less restless sleep. I don’t know what I would do if I knew it was going on but couldn’t be there to help her through it. I wish she would talk to somebody about it rather than hold it in and try to numb the pain with alcohol.
She goes to grab a mug for coffee but hesitates and puts it back in the cupboard. I’ve never seen her drink coffee before, at least not from here. I like to drink it strong and black. Chloe is more of a frou-frou coffee drinker. Lots of extra sugary shit. I don’t know how she drinks it. “Do you think we can stop and get coffee on our way in?”
“Sure thing. There’s a Starbucks on the way.” Even if it were out of my way, I’d say yes to get a hint of a smile on her face. I can’t stand the thought of her being so unhappy, and I’ve been doing everything in my power to try to make her happy. If that includes some girly coffee drink, then I will deliver.
“Okay, I guess I’m ready, then. Oh shit! Do I need anything?”
“Nope, it’s all been taken care of.”
She looks over at me and asks, “What do you mean? What’s been taken care of?”
Sighing, I look over at Jax, who is extremely focused on his half-empty bowl of cereal, before looking back up at her. “Ashtyn’s mom enrolled you both in school. Ashtyn is bringing you a backpack with everything that you need in it.”
I half expect her to start yelling. For her to be furious that we were all going behind her back. For her to show any kind of emotion. Unfortunately, I don’t get the reaction I want. Instead, I get absolutely nothing. “Whatever. I guess we should go, then.”
And that’s that.
The new Chloe. So numb to everything. I mostly watched the old Chloe from afar, but the two of them are like night and day. She used to be so lively and happy. Truly happy. Not a care in the world. I toss her my keys. “Why don’t you meet me in my car. I’ll be out in a minute.”
She doesn’t even reach to catch them. They fall to the floor and she reaches down to grab them. Other than that, she again has no reaction. She just turns around and heads outside. “What am I going to do, Jax?”
He opens his mouth to speak but then shuts it immediately and shrugs his shoulders. I turn to walk away because I don’t know what I’m going to do either. She’s not dealing with anything, and I’m pretty sure I’m hurting her more than helping her. I just don’t know what I should be doing. Turning my attention back to the coffee pot, I finally fill my travel mug with the only thing that will help me get through this day.
The steam wafts up to my nose, and I savor the smell of the rich nectar I’m holding in my hands. We went on a family trip to Sydney over the summer, and I always love picking up good coffee wherever we go. There were some pretty epic coffee shops there and some of my favorite coffee so far. And Chloe wants Starbucks instead? That girl does not know what she’s missing. Then again, if she wanted some of that weasel-shit coffee, I would gladly go and find it for her. Even if the thought of that makes me want to gag. Anything to make her day a little brighter.
If Jax could hear my thoughts, he would be all over me about how whipped I am. It’s true but fucking sucks at the same time. One of these days I will get back the girl I fell in love with. The girl who brightened my day every time she smiled. Hell, her smile was more like the sun, perfect and blinding. I’d give anything to get my daily fix of Chloe’s smile. Anything.
Chapter 3
Chloe
Why did I think school here would be any different from back home? Sure the people are different, but then again they’re not. Maybe different faces but not different people. It’s like you could pluck someone out of any high school and plop him or her in another and everything would still be the same. There are still cliques and plenty of bitches to go around. I almost had a cat fight on the first day of school. Apparently the queen bee around here is some chick named Brooke Mitchell. Honestly, the funny thing is, I was her back at my old school in Santa Barbara. I would have done the same thing too. Some new girl who is potentially prettier than me—major red flag and definite threat. Our little showdown was pretty laughable though. And made me realize how dumb the stupid drama is.
I’m putting some of the shit that Ashtyn’s mom got me away in my locker when the click-clacking of heels stops right behind me. The cheap heels start tapping and someone pokes me on the shoulder. I’d rather not talk to anybody, so I pretend like I don’t notice and continue organizing what little I have in my locker. It doesn’t take long before I hear a whiny voice say, “Excuse me, you’re being rude.”
My arm freezes in midair as I start putting a notebook away. Dropping it in place, I clench and unclench my fist, tempted to turn around and bitch slap this chick in the face. I’m in no mood for any high school bullshit. Forcing a sweet smile on my face, I turn around. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did you need something? I didn’t hear you behind me. New school and all. I was so focused on getting my lock
er all situated.”
She sneers, marring her otherwise pretty features. “I’m watching you. I’m the queen of this school, and you better not have any ideas about dethroning me. You’re nobody. You got that.”
I cover my mouth with my hand, mostly to hide the fact that I stuck my tongue out behind it. “Wait, I know you. Body shots girl, right?”
Holding her head high, she turns to her posse and back to me. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Sure you do. We met this summer at Hudson’s house. You let Jax do body shots off of you.” I lean in close and whisper in her ear, “I’m sure you thought you’d be his hookup for the night. Too bad he dropped you and came running for me when I needed him.”
I lean back with my smile still plastered on my face as she scowls at me. She does this weird thing where she points her fingers to her eyes and back to me. Then she and her posse walk away. She’s walking a half-step ahead like a true queen would. Wow, girls are bitches. What’s the point of all that bullshit?
I continue organizing my locker, when a half sheet of paper flutters out of my binder to the floor in front of me. I reach down and pick it up, realizing it’s my schedule. I glanced at it this morning, but I didn’t really pay attention to any of the classes that Audrey, Ashtyn’s mom, registered me for. It doesn’t take long before my eyes zero in on my first class of the day: theater. My heart rate picks up and my hand holding the schedule starts to shake. I can feel the tears start to build. I slam my locker shut and run in the direction of the bathrooms to let myself break down in private.
***
I’m standing here at my locker, thinking about the first day of school. The first week has flown by, but I still can’t get what happened out of my head. After my breakdown I convinced myself dropping the class would be the best idea, but then the bell rang and I didn’t want to be late. We’re already a week in, and for some reason I just can’t drop the class. I’m lost in my thoughts when Hudson comes up and taps me on my shoulder. Shaking out of my daze, I look up at him and ask, “Hey, what’s up?”
With his brow furrowed, he asks, “Where were you? You seemed like you were somewhere else just now.”
I wave him off. I’d rather he didn’t know about my huge breakdown earlier this week. “Oh, it’s not a big deal.”
“C’mon, Chloe, just tell me. If it wasn’t a big deal, you would tell me. So what’s going on?”
I sigh dramatically. “If you must know, I was thinking about something that happened.”
“What happened?”
“Seriously, Hudson, it’s no big deal. Some girls here were marking their territory.” If anything, I’d rather he think I’m upset over Brooke and her bitches than really know what’s going on with me.
“What are you talking about?”
I guess he needs me to spell it out for him. Guys can be so dense sometimes. “The body shots girl from your party this summer. She put me in my place and said I wouldn’t be ‘dethroning’ her. Her words, not mine.”
He nods his head and rubs the back of his neck. “Got it. You were introduced to Brooke and her posse.”
I lie like I don’t know who she is. “We didn’t exchange names, if that’s what you’re asking. Like I said, no big deal. I don’t feel threatened by her or anything.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod my head and go back to opening my locker, what I was doing prior to getting lost in my head. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately, which is not always a good thing. I’m putting all of my stuff away when Hudson clears his throat behind me. I finish what I’m doing, slam my locker shut, and turn my attention back to him. “Are you going home with Ashtyn today, or are you still avoiding her?”
I roll my eyes. He’s asked me the same question every single day since I left the hospital. Or something along those lines. I’m not specifically avoiding Ashtyn, I’m avoiding her entire family. She’s my best friend, my sister, and it kills me to even look at her. Her family is like my second family, and the fact that my parents are gone becomes very relevant when they’re around. It’s not their fault they’re back together and happy while I don’t have a family. I don’t feel like shitting on their happiness with my fucked up sadness. Is it wrong to put that on Hudson?
Absolutely.
Doesn’t change the fact that I’m sad and he’s here. He truly wants to take care of me, and I like how that makes me feel. Hudson makes me feel loved, and I could use a little extra love right now. I’m selfish and greedy, but I’m not going to stop relying on him anytime soon. That is until he kicks me to the curb because he’s sick of my moody bullshit and wants a real girlfriend. Until that day comes, he’s stuck with me.
“Is that your way of asking me if I’m going home with you?”
Rubbing his neck again, he asks, “Why are you avoiding her? She’s your best friend.”
“I’m not avoiding her. And I don’t feel like going into all of my drama right here in the hallway. I don’t know these people, and I don’t want them to know more about me. Other than the shit they’re most likely already assuming and making up. I’m sure I can thank Brooke in part for whatever rumors are already floating around.”
“Okay, so you’re coming home with me? And I haven’t heard anything, so I’m sure people aren’t talking about you.”
“Yes, I’m going home with you. It shouldn’t even be a question at this point.”
Hudson leads the way to the parking lot where his black Range Rover is. We start pulling out of the school when I see Ashtyn and Abbie getting into her crimson Jeep. I don’t know why it slipped my mind that Abbie was in high school this year, but it did. It’s actually nice to see them together. They’ve never had a super close relationship, and maybe I’ve been to blame for that. I always considered Abbie a tag along, and Ashtyn left her out because she annoyed me when we were younger. I was such a bitch. Since I’m out of the way, it looks like they’ve gotten the chance to get closer. Or at least they’re getting the chance.
I turn my head as we drive by. In my mind, if I don’t look at them, then they can’t see me. Obviously Ashtyn knows what Hudson drives, so it’s kind of pointless. Oh well. Nobody said it had to make sense. I don’t feel much like talking, and a broody song comes on, so I turn it up a little. I have no idea who these guys are, but I’m feeling it right now. My curiosity gets the better of me and I turn it down slightly to find out who it is. “I’m liking this song. Who are these guys?”
Incredulously, Hudson looks at me. “Seriously? You’re a fan of this song? Isn’t it a little harder than what you’re used to?”
“You know what, I take offense to that. Sure, I’m a lover of T. Swift, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate some broody rock music. Who are these guys? The dude’s voice is super sexy.”
“Ahh, it all comes out now. You don’t like the song—you have the hots for the guy.” He chuckles. “This particular song is ‘Goodbye Agony’ by Black Veil Brides. Not sure about the sexy part, but I agree it’s a good song.”
Ending the conversation, I turn the song back up and close my eyes. If I just focus on the words he’s singing, then I don’t have to focus on anything else. Especially all of the shit going on in my head right now. And I was right, this dude has a sexy voice. I wonder what he looks like. I’ll have to remember to Google these guys later.
As I’m focusing on the music, the typically long drive flies by. We’re pulling into Hudson’s driveway and I notice the emptiness of the house. Except for the one cruise my parents went on without me, we always traveled together. I can’t imagine growing up with your parents always gone. Hudson and Jax act like they don’t mind, but it would bug me. Their parents are always gallivanting around on one weekend trip or another. Makes me wonder why they even had kids in the first place.
Turning the SUV off, Hudson turns to me. “Home sweet home. Any plans for the weekend?”
I look over at him, and I’m hit with an urge to kiss him senseless. I pull my botto
m lip in between my teeth and focus on his lips. They’re so plump and look incredibly kissable. I wonder what it would be like to just nibble on his bottom lip rather than my own. I could easily reach across the center console and pull him to me. My breathing quickens along with the rapidness of my heart rate. I want more of it because it’s the first thing I’ve felt besides pain in months. He must realize my thought process or feel the sudden thickness of tension in the car because he turns away and lets out a cough. “Right. So we should get inside and…uh…yeah, let’s get inside.”
He’s out of the car faster than I can respond, so fast he didn’t even take his keys. I reach over and pull them out of the ignition before following his retreat. Ugh, maybe I just need to get laid. I haven’t had sex since I left Santa Barbara this summer, and I think it’s finally catching up with me. Why else would I be throwing myself at Hudson so much? I’m in no place to be getting involved with anybody. At least not seriously, and Hudson is the kind of guy to be very serious about relationships.
Inside, I hear the very familiar sound of his drums beating. Their studio or practice room is supposed to be super soundproof, but I can still hear whenever he plays the drums. Maybe it’s not my hearing so much as I can feel the vibrations of it. He seems to be hitting them pretty hard today.
I’ve been living here for over a month, but it still doesn’t feel like home. Home is back in Santa Barbara. There’s nothing back there for me, but it’s familiar. It’s where I’m from, where I spent my entire life. I know Ashtyn’s mom took care of all of the arrangements for my parents, but I never allowed myself to be a part of it. I was still in the hospital when it all happened. I only know this because Ashtyn visited me every day until I left. I only talked to her one time, just to let her know that nothing ever happened between Jax and me, but that was it. I had no desire to talk to anyone while I was in the hospital.
Falling for Hudson (Marlowe series Book 2) Page 3
