I never loved Jax. I never knew what love was until Hudson. Jax was unattainable. A good chase, nothing more. Hudson and I are deeply connected. I thought he understood me. I thought we understood each other. I guess I was wrong. Very wrong. How could I be so wrong?
The car comes to a stop and I look up. The trip was a lot shorter than it should be, and I realize it’s because we’ve stopped at a different house. This isn’t where Ashtyn lives. Where are we?
Even though we haven’t been around each other for a few months, we still have that best friend ESP, and Ashtyn answers my question without me even asking. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to deal with my parents just yet, so I figured I would bring you back to Flynn’s place in case you wanted to shower, cry, talk, or just stare at the wall.”
“Flynn’s place?”
“Yeah, it’s a long story, but he bought this place shortly after our accident.”
Where the fuck have I been? Oh yeah, that’s right. Fucking wasted off my ass. God, I’m such a bitch. What is my problem? I pulled myself inside and only opened up to Hudson since the accident. I guess I’m lucky Ashtyn is even still talking to me.
I follow the two of them inside. It’s not massive like the Hartleys’ house, but it’s not something a normal twenty-one-year-old would be able to afford. I’ll have to get the story about Flynn later from Ashtyn, after I pull my head out of my ass and actually have a real conversation with her. After everything she just did for me, it’s time.
Maybe she’ll let me have a drink first. I could use a drink right about now. Or a cigarette. Not that I even smoke, but I hear those are good for stress. What am I thinking? Just trading one vice for another. One step from being a fucking addict. Or maybe I’m already there. Who knows?
I look around me, and we’re standing in the living room. Shit, I need a minute to pull myself together. My breathing becomes labored and my palms are sweaty. What is wrong? This is Ashtyn. She’s been my best friend my entire life. “Hey, where’s the bathroom?”
She looks over at me and smiles. “Oh, sorry. It’s just down the hallway and the first door on your right. Do you need anything?”
I lift up my bag and look at it. Do I need anything? I don’t even know what I need right now. “No, I think I’m good. I think I’m just going to take a shower real quick. Clear my head a little.”
She just nods her head. “Okay, sounds good. There are some towels in the closet in there. Just help yourself.”
She sounds so domestic. When the hell did she get married? Cause it certainly sounds like she is. I just nod my head and speed walk to the bathroom. Once inside, I lock the door behind me and finally breathe evenly. How did things get so awkward between us?
Tossing my bag onto the floor, I turn the shower on as hot as it will go and step in. I look at the shampoo and start to reach for it but change my mind. Collapsing into myself, I sink to the floor and let everything out. My chest aches with the heaviness of the world crashing down around me. The malice in Hudson’s voice hurt more than the act of him cheating on me. I get it. I was in a pretty compromising position when he found me, but that’s pretty fucking funny coming from him after he just cheated on me. My body wracks with the sobs leaving me, and I pull my legs up against my chest.
How could he do this to us? My tears are pouring out of me so quickly that I can no longer tell the difference between them and the water flowing over my body. It physically feels like my heart is breaking in two. I can’t handle the pain that is breaking open inside of me, and I just want it to go away. The intensity is killing me, and I don’t think I can handle it any longer. I’m rocking over and over as my body shivers. The blistering water is pouring over me, but it does nothing to warm the coldness that’s swept over my body. I want the numbness to sink in and I don’t want to feel anything ever again.
As my agony takes over, I remember that last pint of 151 sitting in my bag. After our weekend in the theater, I hid it away, thinking I wouldn’t need it again. Picking my body up, I throw myself out of the shower and go hunt that bottle down. Rummaging through my very full duffel bag, I find the hidden prize and hug it to my chest. My body shakes uncontrollably in the cold and I slam myself down onto the shower floor.
I crack open the bottle and toss the lid—I won’t be needing that. Taking a swig, the familiar burn slides down my throat and coats my belly. The bite in my mouth catches me off guard, but I fight right through it and continue chugging until I can’t feel it anymore. Feeling much lighter and happier, I savor the tingling of my skin and the heat coming from the water pouring over my body. I throw my head back and enjoy the wonderfully warm waterfall.
I peek one eye open and spot the half-empty bottle in my outstretched hand. I chug the rest of it down and get lost in the euphoric feeling I’m currently in. Tossing the bottle to the side, I’m suddenly tired and lean down to take a quick nap. I can’t remember where I’m at, but I’m sure Hudson knows.
He’ll come find me.
***
“Oh shit! Flynn, come quick!”
What is going on and why is there yelling? Some people can be so rude. I roll over, or try to, and my body is screaming at me.
“What the fuck?”
“Is she going to be okay?”
“I don’t know, Ashtyn. Let’s get her to the bedroom. She’s freezing and we need to get her warm. Then we’ll figure out if she’s hurt.”
There’s all kinds of commotion around me, and suddenly I feel my body being lifted. Or maybe I’m floating? Either way, I’m fighting it and trying to roll over. I just want to go back to sleep. Rolling over, I inhale the warm body that’s carrying me. I hug the very firm chest, but something is wrong. This isn’t Hudson. Opening one eye, I peek up and see Flynn’s familiar face. I breathe a sigh of relief until I look down and notice I’m naked. What the fuck is going on? Why am I naked and why is Flynn carrying me while I’m naked?
I start struggling and try to push myself out of Flynn’s arms. I accidentally elbow him in the face and he groans. Through clenched teeth, he says, “Will you fucking stop that? I’m trying to get you into my bed.”
Are you fucking kidding me? He drugged me, stripped me naked, and now he’s going to rape me? Where the hell is Ashtyn? Adrenaline starts coursing through my body and I twist and kick Flynn right in the family jewels. Catching him off guard, he drops me, and my shoulder slams to the wood floor below me. I realize I didn’t think that through as I struggle to catch my breath and get up.
Ashtyn comes running and asks, “What just happened? Chloe…oh my god, Flynn, are you okay?”
In an unfamiliar tone, most likely due to the agonizing pain, Flynn replies, “Ask your friend. She woke up while I was carrying her and kicked me in the balls.”
Ashtyn leans down and helps me get up. If I thought I was in pain a little bit ago, my pain has reached a ridiculous level. It’s shooting throughout my body and I can no longer pinpoint one location that it’s coming from. Ashtyn tilts her head to the side, and in a concerned tone, she asks, “Why did you kick Flynn?”
I sputter as the words leave my mouth. “He wa…was trying to…to…to rape me.”
Her mouth falls open with a gasp as she turns toward Flynn. “I don’t know what the fuck she’s talking about.”
Pulling myself up, I attempt the best I can to cover myself up and clench my jaw. “He was carrying me naked to his bed. He drugged me and he was going to rape me.”
The tension leaves Ashtyn’s body as she puts her hand on my shoulder. “Chloe, honey, nobody drugged you. You drank an entire bottle of 151 in the shower. You shattered the bottle and passed out. I came in to check on you and found you. You have cuts all over your legs from the broken glass, and Flynn was carrying you to his bed because the water had run cold.”
As the adrenaline starts leaving my body, I’m vaguely aware of the shivers wracking me. Looking down, I notice the cuts up and down both legs. I turn my attention back up to Ashtyn’s face and it starts shifting arou
nd me. First there’s one Ashtyn, then two, then four. What the hell is going on? I turn away and the room moves around me. Or am I moving?
Oh shit.
Chapter 22
Hudson
“What the fuck is your problem, dude?”
I turn my head slightly to see Jax standing in the doorway, then I turn my focus back to my phone.
Clare: Sorry I got so drunk over the weekend. I don’t even know what happened. And that is so unlike me. I hope you got home okay. Thanks again <3 Clare
Part of me is tempted to text her back because I’m so pissed at Chloe and my brother. How could they do that to me? Instead, I throw my phone down on my bed. Brothers don’t do shit like this to each other. My hands are shaking as I get up and turn my attention to Jax. I clench and unclench my fists as I contemplate punching him in the face again. I’ve never been one to have a temper; I’ve always been the calm collected one out of the two of us. But this. This changes everything.
“What’s my problem? Are you fucking kidding me, Jax?”
I reach out to shut the door in his face. It’s better to just shut him out than deal with all of this stupid shit right now. Jax pushes his way into my room before I can stop him, and I’m fuming. This asshole shouldn’t even be looking at me right now, let alone in my room. He has a lot of fucking nerve.
“Why are you ruining the best thing that’s ever happened to you? Are you that fucking stupid, Hudson?”
I let out a disgusting, menacing laugh. “That’s real funny coming from you, Jax. I didn’t ruin shit. You and Chloe did that.”
He shakes his head and looks down at the floor before looking back up at me. His eyes are filled with rage and anger. “If you really think that, she’s better off without you. Just think about it. Would she do that to you?”
I don’t even get another word out when he turns around and leaves my room. I walk behind him and slam the door shut. Asshole couldn’t even be bother to shut my door. I’m still so pissed. Normally I get my rage out on my drums, but even that didn’t help me. I throw myself across my bed and lie there, looking at the ceiling. How the fuck did all of this happen?
Turning over, I notice my phone still lying there. I pick it up and re-read the text from Clare. I don’t even hesitate before shooting off a quick text to her.
Me: Don’t even worry about it. Shit happens. I’ll be drowning my sorrows in a bottle of something this weekend myself.
Clare: Oh no! What happened?
Me: Apparently me leaving town is a good time for my brother and girlfriend to hook up.
Clare: Oh, that’s awful, Hudson. I’m so sorry.
Me: Yeah well, like I said. Shit happens.
Clare: I don’t know either one of them, but that’s pretty messed up. Who does something like that to their own brother?
Me: Mine, apparently.
Clare: Do you want some company?
Do I want some company? I’m not sure whether or not that’s a good idea. Clare seems cool and all, but I don’t think either one of us is ready for something like that. On the other hand, it would stick it to those other fuckers for the shit they pulled. I toss my phone to the side and ignore it. I don’t feel like starting up extra drama right now.
***
We haven’t seen much of Oliver since we signed our contract during the summer—well, minus Jude. I think the accident probably has a lot to do with that. Things were pretty crazy for a bit, and I think he’s waiting for everything to really calm down. We’ve been trying to practice like crazy, but I know I’ve been playing pretty shitty lately. My concern is always Chloe, but not anymore.
I’m throwing all of my anger toward my drum set. I can’t tell you how many sets of sticks I’ve busted, so that’s either a good thing or a bad thing. Not sure at this point. I know the guys have noticed the difference in me, and it’s a giant ugly elephant in the room. The tension is haywire and not very good for us as a band.
Why the fuck did he do it?
We finish up the song that Flynn wrote for Ashtyn before he speaks up. “Well, we’re sounding better, but we’re still not all the way there. I talked to Oliver on the phone before I came over and he said he’s going to be down visiting for the weekend.”
Jax looks over at me before looking back over toward Flynn. “I hope he isn’t planning on getting us in the studio. Dude, we are so not ready for that yet.”
Flynn nods his head. “Yeah, I know. Maybe a different environment will help. We don’t have to pay for the studio time, so it won’t hurt to at least try.”
What is with these guys? “Whatever, I’m sure we’ll kick ass.”
“Hudson—”
“No, don’t even talk to me right now, Jax.”
“You know what? Fuck it.”
He gets up and walks out of the room and slams the door behind him. I’m not even sure how this whole band is going to work anymore. I can’t even stand to be in the same room as the guy, let alone the same band. He fucking screwed us and he doesn’t even care. I wonder if he even thought about how this would affect the entire band when he was screwing her brains out.
Fucking dick.
“Hey, Jude, do you want to give us a minute? Go check on Jax for me?” Flynn asks.
Check on Jax? Are you fucking kidding me? I guess nobody gives a shit that I’m the one who got fucked in this whole situation. But like his little errand boy, Jude gets up and follows the same way Jax just left.
Flynn turns his attention back toward me and runs his hands through his hair. Looks like he’s been doing that a shit ton lately because his hair is sticking up all over the place. He appears to be contemplating what he’s going to say, but I don’t expect what he actually says.
“What the fuck are you doing, Hudson? Do you want the whole band to fall apart? Because that’s what’s going to happen.”
Is he fucking kidding me right now? I hold back the desire to punch him in the face. “Seriously, Flynn? How is any of this my fault?”
“Fucking around on Chloe was messed up, dude. Just own up to your shit. I expected something like this from Jax, which is why I’m glad they never hooked up, but never from you. Why did you do it, man?”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t do shit. I got home and walked in on Chloe half naked in Jax’s bed and him coming out of his bathroom with nothing but a towel on. What else am I supposed to think here? Chloe cheated, not me.”
Skeptically, he asks, “Are you so sure of that?”
I shake my head and turn away. “What the fuck am I supposed to think, Flynn? How can I walk in on that and think otherwise?”
“I don’t know, but somebody needs to own up to something. I had to rescue Chloe from the shower yesterday.”
My nostrils flare and I clench my fists. My body moves forward involuntarily, and I try to hold myself back. “What the fuck are you talking about? You rescued her from the shower?”
Matching my stance, he moves up toward me and says, “Shut the fuck up, Hudson. It wasn’t like that and you should know that. She drank an entire bottle of 151 and passed out in the shower. She shattered the bottle and cut up her legs a little, but they were scratches. I don’t think she was trying to kill herself or anything like that. But she’s fucked up right now.”
My lips flatten as I glare at him and snap out, “Yeah, I’m sure she’s pretty fucked up.”
“You’re both playing innocent and blaming the other guy. I’m sick of this shit and we don’t need this drama right now. I want you to know I’m not above kicking you out of the band. I don’t want it to come to that, but this shit isn’t working.”
“Yeah, and who made you the king of the fucking world? Why do you think that you can make a decision like that?”
“I don’t want you out. I’m just telling you like it is. Get your shit together or you’re out. It sucks, but that’s how it has to be.”
“You know what, Flynn? Fuck you. I don’t need this bullshit right now.”
Kick me out
of the fucking band? Are you serious? Who the hell do these guys think they are? Oh, that’s right, Flynn and Jax are best friends, so they’ll obviously take each other’s sides. Even though I brought Jude into the band, he’s so far up Flynn’s ass it’s not even funny. Fucking bullshit.
Fortunately or unfortunately, Jax chooses that time to walk back into the room. “Fuck that bullshit, Flynn. Nobody is getting kicked out of the band. Let’s deal with this man to man.” He brings his fists up like he wants to fight me, and the entire room erupts into laughter and tears. The sad thing is, I think he’s being serious and not trying to be the comic relief.
“What the fuck is so funny? Why are you all laughing?”
I compose myself long enough to say, “There’s no way you could beat me, man. Your workouts include lifting a beer to your mouth or having sex. Have you ever tried playing the drums for hours on end? I hate to break it to you, but in a fight between you and me, I’d break you. Don’t worry, I won’t mess up your pretty little face.”
He lunges toward me, but Flynn holds him back and replies, “I hate to agree with him, but he’s right, Jax. Sure, you’re in great shape, but you’re toned and skinny. Hudson is pretty ripped compared to you.”
Looking around the room at all of us, Jax says, “No fucking way.” We all nod, and his shoulders slump down.
Uncomfortable silence starts to ensue, but Flynn’s phone saves us from that quickly. He’s getting a booty call from Ashtyn. I wish I could say the same thing right about now, but with Chloe, not Ashtyn. I’m pretty sure Flynn would kick my ass if that were the case.
Falling for Hudson (Marlowe series Book 2) Page 15
