When I got to the lobby, China was sitting on Dre’s lap knocked out, with her mouth open, while Dre laid his head on the wall knocked out too. Quay was asleep as well. The sight before me was funny as hell. I nudged Dre on his arm and he quickly woke up, looking around the room. When he jumped, it caused my daughter to wake up from her sleep.
“Damn, man, I didn’t even mean to fall asleep. Charlie had the baby?” he asked me as I picked up China from his lap.
“Yeah, man, about ten minutes ago. Come on so y’all can see her,” I said and then woke Quay up as well.
We all walked down the short hallway and China was walking so fast to get to her mommy and little sister. When she made it in the room, I lifted her up so that she could get in the bed. She stared at little London in awe as China breastfeed her.
“Wow, Mommy, she’s so little,” China said, as she held London’s finger in her hand.
We all kicked it in the room for about another hour, and after Charlie and the baby had fallen to sleep, everybody left, leaving only my wife and my two kids in the room. I had the perfect little family before me and I swear I wasn’t ever going to give up on them. Including my mama and my sister, these women in front of me were all I needed.
Chapter 18: Dre
“Damnn, Toya are you seeing this shit upstairs in the room?” I yelled from downstairs in the den as I watched the Channel 7 news.
I heard my fiancé come down the stairs, and when she was in the living room, she took a seat next to me on the couch.
“On May 5th, 2015, two real estate brokers by the name of James Miller Sr. and James Miller Jr., were ordered to pay back over six million dollars in restitution to victims arising out of over five fraud cases. Both men will be charged with wire fraud for making false statements about their client’s income and the failure to return deposits. The father and son are also charged with other fraudulent behavior, which include short sale fraud, escrow fraud, real estate title fraud, and mortgage fraud. The jury returned a verdict this morning of guilty on all charges and they will face up to thirty years in prison at sentencing,” the news anchor said.
I watched the look on Toya’s face.
“Damn, that’s crazy. I don’t feel bad for either one of them, though. I just knew that James’ ass would go to jail for rape or some shit, but I never would have guessed that it would have been fraud,” Toya said.
I was happier than a motha fucka because it was less bodies on my list for me to handle. I never forgot about the shit that he had done to Toya, but I wanted to catch his ass when he least expected that shit. I think I liked this situation better though because killing him would have been way too easy. I knew for a fact that his pussy ass wouldn’t last a damn day in prison. He would be somebody’s bitch by the end of the night. Combing niggas chest hair, cleaning their drawers, and taking a dick up his ass. I wished prison on nobody, but his ass deserved it. I swear, karma was a motha fucka, and it was fuckin’ the shit out of James’ ass right about now.
“So you know they going to get rid of all their locations. Now watch all those bitches that you were working with who couldn’t stand your ass be down at your office come tomorrow morning, begging for a job,” I told Toya.
“That’s if they didn’t get charged too,” she added.
“I doubt it because the news would have mentioned it,” I said, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close to me.
I rubbed her belly, something that I had found myself doing a lot lately. I remember when Toya sold me this damn house and I cornered her ass in the kitchen and whispered in her ear that she was going to be the one to have my last name and to give a nigga a few sons. All that shit was happening right before my eyes, and I had made a liar out of Toya because back then her ass wasn’t believing shit that I was talking about.
“This baby is kicking my ass. I had a salad today at work on my break and I threw it right up. I can’t keep anything down, and it’s only the beginning,” she told me as she played with my chin hair. I loved when she did that shit because it calmed my ass down.
“My sons said they don’t want no damn salad, they want some real food,” I said, causing Toya to look up at me like I was crazy.
“Sons? What makes you think I have two babies in here?” she asked me.
“I can just feel it. Baby, you know what I was thinking that we should to this weekend?” I asked her.
“Hmm, no what?”
“You haven’t been down there to the cemetery to see your mother in years. I was thinking maybe we should go and see her. We plan to get married, and I at least want to go down there before we tie the knot,” I said, holding Toya in my arms.
I knew that this was a sensitive conversation for her, and I never was the one to initiate the talk about her mom because I knew how sensitive she could get. Toya always talked very highly of her mother and she had actually played a big role in Toya turning out to be the lady that she is today.
“We can do that, baby, that’s no problem at all,” she said, wrapping her arms around me and kissing my lips.
We stayed laid up on the couch watching TV and then a few minutes later, Toya was knocked out cold. I picked her up and carried her to the room.
Once I had her tucked into bed, I took myself a nice ass shower. I had been in rehearsals and shit all day because the BET awards were coming up next month, and Quan and I were asked to perform. If a nigga would have told me two years ago while I was incarcerated that I would be performing at the BET awards with my day one nigga, I probably would have killed his ass for lying like that. So much had changed over the course of time, and I was glad that I was finally getting my money the legal way, and I had someone in my corner helping me along the way.
Chapter 19: Toya
Since my mother died, I had made it my business to go and see her every year for mother’s day. But this year I hadn’t, and I’m pretty sure that Dre had caught on to it, which is why he had come to me with the idea of going to see my mother this weekend. I didn’t go and see her this year for many reasons, number one being that I was pregnant and I knew that after I left the cemetery, I would be left with that ill feeling, knowing that she wasn’t coming home with me. It would lead to stress, and I didn’t want to be put in a situation where I suffered a miscarriage because of the fact that I was stressing.
I don’t care what nobody in this world says, you will never get over the pain of losing your mother. You may come to grips with it and be able to cope, but there will always be that feeling in the back of your mind, knowing that she was gone and never coming back. This lady played numerous roles in my life, and it was still taking some getting used to.
About thirty minutes later we pulled up to Caballero Rivero Dade North Cemetery. We passed through the gate and I showed Dre how to get to her grave. After driving for another five minutes or so, I pointed it out and he stopped the car. On the way over, we had picked up some flowers and I reached in the back seat to get them. When I opened the front door, I noticed that Dre wasn’t moving to get out.
“Have your moment with her and then I’ll come out,” he said.
I kissed him on the lips and then got out of the car. I was wearing a long, flowing maxi dress and when I walked, I had to hold it up, to keep myself from falling. I walked over to her tomb and noticed that the flowers in her vase were dead, so I picked them up and placed them in a nearby trashcan. After I finished doing that, I placed the flowers that I came with, which happened to be her favorite, a bunch of red and white carnations, with some baby breath between them. I took a seat down on the grass and sat Indian style.
“Hey, ma,” I said and immediately my voice cracked. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t cry, but I couldn’t control it.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t come for Mother’s Day, but I talked to God about you and he let me know that you were doing all right. I’m guessing you’re wondering how I managed to lose this four pack that I had since high school, well that’s because I’m carrying your gra
ndchild in here,” I said, as I laughed through the tears. “I miss you so much, Mommy, and I just wish that you were here to celebrate with me in my accomplishments. I’m running my own business now, I’m engaged, and in a few more months, I’ll be dropping this load. I just wish you would have been here to meet Diandre, Mommy, because he’s so perfect for me and I know that you would have loved him. It was even his whole idea to get me to come down here and talk with you. Even though you’re not here with me physically, I know that you’re looking down on me, rooting me on,” I said, and then I had to stop because my emotions were getting the best of me.
I put my head in my hands and let a few more tears cascade down my face. I felt someone sit down next to me and when I looked up it was Dre, and I noticed that he had tears in his eyes as well.
“Look how you got me out here crying too,” he said, trying to bring light to the situation, which caused a small smile to form on my face. This was the first time that I had seen this man cry, and I was shocked to say the least. He grabbed my hand tightly and began to speak.
“I never got the chance to meet you, but I swear I know you because Toya talks about you all the time. I don’t know if you know it, but this lady sitting next to me, you’re her hero. If it wasn’t for you, I know for a fact that Toya wouldn’t be the woman that she is today. You instilled in her things that only a mother can, and years later, she took all of those lessons and used them when it came down to me. You taught Toya her worth because when I approached her the very first time, she wasn’t having it. This lady made me work to get her and even now that I have her, I’m going to keep working. I love you because if it wasn’t for you, I would have never met my soulmate. Save a spot for us in heaven, Ma, and I promise I’ll continue to look after your baby girl for the rest of my life,” Dre said.
His message was so beautiful.
He stood up and then helped me up next. I looked down at her tomb one last time, and then, together, hand in hand, the two of us made our way back to the car. I knew my mother had heard every single thing that we had just said. I talked about Dre to her all the time, and I was happy to hear Dre say a few words to her. I thought that he would look at my ass like I was crazy, but clearly he didn’t.
Chapter 20: Quan
One Month Later
“Baby, I just want you to know that even if you don’t win tonight, you still won the war, and that’s all that matters to me,” my wife told me as we sat front row at the BET awards.
I was nominated for Album of the Year for 2015 and Video of the Year. This was my first time ever at the BET awards because when I first started, I was only doing mixtapes and not albums, so people really didn’t know who Jaquan was. Fast forward two years after that and now everybody knew exactly who I was. Dre and I had just finished performing and now we were back in our seats, waiting to see if I would win the award. Along with Charlie, I also had my father and my mother sitting behind me. After we told my mother what took place the night that Monae and I went to have a talk with our father, she was all for it. In fact, she wanted to get some clarity with him too. Life was way too damn short to be caught holding grudges, especially when someone was on a time schedule of when their life would end.
“Okay, and the nominees for Album of the Year 2015 are, Meek Mill, Chris Brown, The Game, Quan, and the Weekend,” Lauren London said.
I don’t know why, but something inside me was pretty much prepared to lose this one. I was going against other niggas that had been in the game way longer than I had. I sat there in my seat sweating bullets and holding onto my wife’s hand for dear life. For some reason, Charlie was so relaxed, like she knew something that I didn’t know.
“And the award for Album of the Year, goes to… Quan!” Lauren London announced and the crowd went crazy. I looked over at my wife, placed kisses on her lips and then stood up and dapped up Dre then gave Toya a hug. I quickly walked up to the stage with the biggest smile on my face that I have had in years. A nigga was beyond blessed, and never thought that this day would ever come. Once I was on stage, I was handed my trophy and I went to the podium to give my speech.
The crowd was going crazy, and I looked around at all the people, standing up on their feet for me. A little ghetto boy who grew up in the worst part of Miami, and the only thing I had going for myself was a damn dream that had finally been realized.
“First and foremost, I would like to thank God because without him, all of this is impossible,” I started my speech. “Y’all can sit down because this is going to take a while,” I said and the room erupted in laughter. “I would like to start off by saying that nothing in life was ever handed down to me. Everything that I have, I had to work my ass off for it. When I was a little boy, I used to sit in a roach infested apartment with my two homies, Dre who’s sitting over there with his beautiful wife, and my manager, Quay.
We would sit up until the wee hours of the morning, just writing rhymes. What’s crazy to me is that as little boys, we knew that one day this stuff would pay off. I’m talkin’ six and seven years old, and we knew that one day somebody would be jamming to our music. Along with my two homies, I had the sexiest lady in this damn room, sitting right there, and may I add that my baby is wearing that damn dress,” I said.
All the niggas in the building barked and the females clapped. I watched as my wife blushed and blew me a kiss.
“That woman right there had my baby when I didn’t have not a damn thing to offer her. The money that I was supposed to be using to buy our baby’s diapers, I was using it to get studio time because I was trying to get us out of the hood. That woman right there, we done slept in cars together, went days without eating, just so we could put food and clothes in our baby’s mouth, and she never once complained. To my mama, I love you, woman and I thank you for doing it on your own. To my father, even though you weren’t there then, you’re here now, and that’s all that matters to me. Sincere, my producer, thank you for seeing something in me man, because if it weren’t for you, I would still be sleeping on my mom’s couch. To my two daughters and my sisters, I love y’all to death and y’all are set for life. My fans, thank you for supporting me. Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I said, holding the trophy in the air and I watched as I got a standing ovation.
This award was very much well deserved and everybody knew that. The awards went on for about another hour or so and even though I didn’t win for best music video, the fact that I was nominated was all that mattered to me.
You couldn’t win them all, but you could damn sure try. You got a dream? You go after it and don’t ever let a soul tell you what you can and cannot do! Nothing in life is free, and nothing will ever be handed down to you. You are the only person in life that can dictate whether or not you can do something. I suffered many bumps in the road to get where I am, and it all paid off. It paid off because I never listened to a nigga that didn’t believe in me. Believe in yourself and I promise that you’ll do great things in the end!
One year later
Epilogue
Chantel
“Oh my God, baby did you see this?” I asked Davion, coming into the living room where he was with my Kindle in my hands. My book, Materialistic Things Don’t Bring Happiness was a number one best seller, and in three days, I already had over fifty reviews. Thanks to Davion knowing people, he was able to set me up with a publisher and my book had been selling like crazy. I had worked my ass off with this book, staying up to the wee hours of the morning, and it had finally paid off.
“Wow, I’m so proud of you, baby! I told you to put all of that energy into your writing, and now look what happened,” Davion said as he pulled me down on the couch next to him.
This journey with this man has been everything but easy, but I was just so grateful to be able to spend it with him. I had gotten closer to his son, and luckily, his baby mama wasn’t a bitch. In fact, she supported or relationship, and every time Davion asked to see his son, she brought him over with no problem. Davion and I had actual
ly been working on having a baby of our own, and I couldn’t wait for that day to come. This time, I was willing to have a baby by a man because I was in love with him, not because of what he had and the things that would be available to me.
If I was guilty of anything, it was being in love with a man and wanting to do any and everything that I could do to keep him. I’m pretty sure a lot of people probably still don’t fuck with me because of the person that I used to be, and that’s fine.
But anyways, I’m out. I have a man to tend to. Peace!
Monae:
“Monae Williams,” the dean of Broward College said my name as I walked across the stage to receive my AA degree.
I had finally quit fucking around and took my damn education serious and today I received my degree. Even though it wasn’t a major degree, it was still something. I could hear my family and friends in the crowd cheering me on, and I smiled the whole time that I walked the stage. This journey has been anything but easy. Out of all the dudes that I could have fallen in love with, I chose to fall in love with my brother’s best friend. That shit was true when they say, ‘you can help who you love,’ because it didn’t matter what curves life threw at me and Quay, I just couldn’t seem to leave this man alone.
I’ll admit, in the beginning, I was a little immature. Then, once my brother found out about us and Quay and I decided to make it right, I began to act very insecure, which wasn’t my style at all.
Quay was the first guy that I had been with and I planned to keep it that way. I watched the way Quay made sure the people around him was good and then he looked out for himself. That was just the type of man he was, and I loved him for that. Our relationship was getting better and better by the day, and unlike my two friends, I wasn’t trying to have kids any time soon. Hell, I was still a baby myself, and I felt like it would be very ungrateful of me to bring a baby into this world, knowing that I wasn’t in the best position of my life to be a mother.
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